Knowledge of knowing what's to come. It's both a blessing and a curse. These past few hours of sitting in the room with these three men, I've had to keep myself from putting myself on my knees for the blonde boy that sat on the bed beside me.
He's been making movements he knows drives me insane. That wicked little smirk, he plasters it on his lips before he lets out deep laughs. Okays with his hair as he flexes his jaw.
The veins in his arm show as he leans back on them, occasionally dipping his head back exposing his neck.
Cheongsan and San have noticed my stares, the looks I give him. They share knowing looks with each other, but they don't mention anything. Not once.
School would letting out any minute. Our roommates would be walking through the front door, spreading out amongst the house without a word after a long day at school.
"We should probably head out before they see us in here." Cheongsan said, slightly frowning.
"Alright." Felix said, standing and began walking them out. I followed them out, we stood on the porch for a minute saying our final goodbyes.
But as they went to step off and walk away, our little group of housemates came wandering in through the gate. Everyone had a confused look on their face except Jeongin. Jeongin wasn't paying attention at all, and Jisung wasn't amongst them.
The twins passed the group in complete silence, not a glance shared between any of them.
"We were wondering where you two were." Minho spoke up as they all stepped onto the porch.
"Hyunjin. I'd like the speak to you please." Chan said, waving me to follow him. I mentally groaned to myself as I followed him up the stairs and assumingly into his room.
He organized his stuff from his bag onto his desk. The silence that filled the room, minus the sound of his papers being shuffled through, was irritating.
"Just talk already please." I asked him, and he peered up at me.
"Jisung has been given in school suspension until after homecoming is over so there's that. But what on the most of my worries. I'm glad you're getting on good terms with Felix, but please don't let yourself start becoming him." Chan said, standing straight. "Especially hanging out with his friends."
"Question, Chan. Have you ever took the time to know any of them?" I asked, highly irritated that I was being given advice I didn't ask for.
"No, but I don't nee-"
"Then I'll do as I please." I said walking out of his room and back down the stairs. I'm not a follow the leader type, I could make decisions for myself pretty damn well. Cheongsan and San were not an issue and Felix definitely isn't a problem.
I stomped down the stairs as Jeongin was about to march up them. Our bodies collided, sending him backwards but I reached out to catch him before he could fall down the last five steps.
"Shit, sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."
"It's okay." I shrugged it off and smiled at him. But I questioned it, his bedroom was downstairs so where was he going? "Any particular destination?" I asked and he just shrugged.
"Minho hyung is supposed to tutor me on some of my classes." Jeongin shrugged, keeping his face turned away from mine.
"Okay, I'll let you get to it." I stepped aside on the stair to let him pass and he happily bounced up the rest of the stairs, disappearing into a room. I wonder if one of those classes is anatomy.
In the living on his laptop once again was Seungmin. He pushed his glasses up further along the bridge of his nose as he typed keys along the keyboard. The boy was probably writing a essay the length of a damn novel.
Part of my instincts were telling to avoid them and go straight to finding out where Felix went, but I don't want the blonde to think I'm already that obsessed over him. Cause I'm not, he's just decent company.
I sat down on the couch next to Seungmin, his eyes lingered towards me for a split second. The round brim of his glasses fitting the shape of his eyes perfectly. They were silver, typically a gold matched the dark chocolate eyes better but for some reason, the silver was just more... him.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked him, leaning further into the couch, my arms spreading out along the top edge of the furniture.
"I am writing. It's a competition in one of my classes, to write a short story." He informed never taking his eyes of the screen and never once did his typing slow down. I was literally so close with my guess on what he was doing.
"Oh wow, what's yours about?" I asked leaning closer and looking over his shoulder as he continued to type out sentences.
"Hyunjin." He sighed, pausing his work. "I appreciate your interest I really do.. but could you maybe let me work alone please?" He asked and I pressed my lips together firmly. "We can hang out later or something, Kay?"
I just nodded and pushed myself of the couch, walking into the kitchen. I scouted through cabinets trying to find something to snack on.
"We have a game tonight." Chan came running down the stairs. "Minho and Jeongin said they would go, Seungmin? Hyunjin?"
It was automatic guess to Chan that Felix would not be going. Seungmin agreed without a word, continuing his focus on his laptop.
"Is that where Changbin is? Practice?" I asked as I munched on a treat.
"Yea. You going to the game?" Chan asked walking into the kitchen with me, his biceps were showing from the cut out tank he was wearing.
"Probably not. I'm not in a mood for loud screaming, especially around everyone that had been talking about me all day." I shrugged, it was a great excuse. I also only ever go to the games that matter: first game, homecoming game and the very last game of the season.
"That's a fair point. That and Jisung will be there right after detention. I think it's be safe to assume y'all aren't on good terms." Chan said logically.
I just shrugged and threw my trash away in the trash can. I made my way down the hall and into my bedroom. My bed was still messy from the last time I slept in it. I never made my bed, unless I was going through a fit of stress cleaning.
I noticed my pajama pants on the floor. A piece of white poking out from the pocket. I reached for it, recognizing it as the picture I drew of Felix at the cafe last night.
I sat down at my desk and opened my smaller sketch book as I marked the lines on paper. I tried to match them perfectly to the ones on the napkin. I could fix these line if needed though, I was using a pencil.
After a few minutes of perfecting the lines, I dig out my colored pencils and began shading the tones of the man. Matching the shade of his hair, the tone of his skin, the color of his lips.
There was a single knock on my wall. I lifted my head slightly to see Chan.
"We are headed to the game. We should be back in a few hours. Should be." Chan shrugged and nodded to me.
"Do you want me to keep the door unlocked?" I asked him as I turned my head back to my work.
"No. We will have our keys with us. Lock up if you want. See you later." Chan saluted me before disappearing down the hall. Seconds later the front door shut.
I continued to use color after color, making the Felix on paper perfectly match the real Felix. The blonde, the eyes, the nose, the million freckles.
I felt hands glide down my shoulders and breath on my neck that made the hairs on my arm stand. Of course there was only one logical answer.
The man I was drawing, was standing behind me.
"Hey." I said, not taking my eyes away from the sketchbook.
"Hey." Felix's voice was deep and husky, his hands brushing up and down on my biceps and shoulders. "Damn, I must be a real inspiration." He chuckled, making sure I knew he could see me drawing him this time. Since I was so reluctant to let him see me doing so yesterday.
I stayed silent, working the colored lead the way I wanted it to. Blending and color matching, and more blending.
Felix just leaned over me, watching me as I brought a 2D version on him to life.
"Hyunjin." He whispered, slowly lowering his hand down to mine pausing my progress.
I hummed, as he ducked his face into the shallows of my neck. His lips caressing the skin as his teeth grazed the surfaces lightly.
I leaned my head to the side, granting him more room to move his lips over. More territory to mark me on.
"Hyunjin." He said my name once again, as his teeth nibbled my earlobe.
"Felix." I hummed, my hand reaching up and finding the back of his neck.
"Give me attention." He begged and I smiled, placing the pencils down. I stood from my desk chair and his eyes followed my every move as I rounded to face him.
My hands instantly found his and we were on my bed in an instant. My arms around shoulders, his hands running down my waist and grabbing my thighs as he lifted my leg to his hipbone.
"Is this the kind of attention you wanted?" I asked him sarcastically before I ran my tongue over his full bottom lip.
"Maybe." He said with a smirk before letting himself sink into me again.
This was the moment we both wanted, waited for. For the house to be empty and it just be us alone with each other. It didn't take long at all between the time the boys got home and then left.
My crew neck was being lifted over my head and the top few buttons pf my shirt came undone. Felix's mouth was traveling everywhere on my upper body.
My head dipped back as his lips traveled down my neck and over my collarbone. His tongue leaving wet trails along my skin. I let out heavy breaths and I could feel his lips pull into a smile as the way he was affecting me. Like he always did. This was different. It wasn't sparked with irritation, the desire to rip each other apart.
Felix placed himself between my legs. He was on his knees as I sat up to reach he lips. His hands fumbled with the remaining buttons on my shirt. I reached for the hem of his but he grabbed my hands and pinned me to the mattress.
"Felix." I muttered as I looked up at him. He wasn't letting me reach for him. Felix shushed me, his lips moving down my chest gradually getting lower and lower.
I arched back, my head firm against my pillows as his lips and tongue traced back up my body. His hand wrapped around my neck and he used the leverage he hand to pull me back up into sitting position. The action made me feel dizzy as his palm was pressed firmly to my throat.
His free hand forced my shirt off of me and tossed it to side. He reached down and pulled something up, a long piece of fabric in his hands. I looked over the end of the bed to see a little bag, the one he had brought home last night. I didn't even notice he brought it in here with him.
He twirled the black velvet in his hand, the edges were lined with lace.
"You aren't wasting any time, are you?" I asked him, looking up at his face as he kneeled in between my legs.
"Why would I with the way you look at me all the damn time?" He said as he pulled the fabric around my neck and tied it a little tight in a perfect formal bow.
"How do I look at you?" I looked at him, curiously waiting for my answer as he leaned me back against the mattress.
"Like that. When you look at me like that it's.." Felix's words stumbled to a stop as he bite his lip.
"It's what?" I urged him to finish his sentence, but he never did. Instead he came down on top of me, his lips crashing into mine with a desperation that warmed every vein in my body.
My hads tugged on his hair and he groaned, pressing his hips against mine and I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head at the sensational pressure. A familiar knot building in my stomach as my member hardened to its full length.
I knew he could feel my reaction as he smirked within the kiss. His hand explored lower, between my legs. As much as I wanted to further this, I was beginning to grow slightly nervous and I mentally applauded him for not showing any anxiety towards this whatsoever.
"Felix." I whispered his name through his lips and an inch between our trembling lips, we paused.
"What?" He asked, he had a hand holding himself above me while the other traced simply lines down my body.
"Can you let-" i asked reached for his shirt, but he pushed my arms down. it was almost as if he was afraid to let my touch his skin. My first automatic reaction when we touch is to put my hands in his hair, never anywhere else unless its over his clothes.
He sat up, his hands trembling as he lifted his shirt over his head. I got a full look of the tattoo, a mandala design covering his full shoulder extending down his bicep and probably over his shoulder blade. How he got that at this age raised a few questions. But that wasnt the only thing. There were scars scattered over his torso, most of them seeming to be self-inflicted.
He sat there on his knees starring at me as I looked him over, reaching out for him but he grabbed my hand before I could touch him. I look at him through my lashes and his demeanor faulted, his grip on my wrist loosening. I reached my hand forward, caressing a faint scar line on his lower abdomen that resting above a very defined v-line.
My free hand reached for the side of his face as I pulled him to me once again. No words, just actions. Kisses and caresses. Heavy breaths and soft moans.
I had reached for his belt buckle, my eyes searching his before continuing. When he nodded, I just blinked and slowly removed the black leather belt, The metal buckle making soft clicking noises as I dropped it over the edge of the bed.
We undressed each other in silence, not knowing what words to say, if any should be said at all. Before anything else happened, he removed his lips and his hands from my body. "Before we go any further, I want to hear you give me full consent Hyunjin. If not, I won't do this."
I looked back and forth between his eyes. "I consent. Do you?" I asked him and he nodded.
"Yea. I do." He reached down the side of the bed, pulling his belt back up and I gave him a confused look. He grabbed both of my wrists and began to tie the belt around them tightly. When he was down, I could barely move my wrists with the skin scraping the edges of the leather.
He began prepping me. My eyes fluttering as I felt his hands and fingers around me. The man did his research for sure.
He pushed one of my legs up and my lungs stopped working completely. My eyes locked with his, a siren look in them as he hovered over me slightly. I sucked in a breath as I watched him lick his lips. Then I felt his tip push in.
My head forced itself back, my mouth felt open and I instantly tried to pulled my hands apart with no success. I let a group of heavy breaths as he waiting to move his hips at all, letting me adjust around his girth.
One of his hands wrapped around the leather belted hands and forced them above my head. When my heavy breathing calmed, Felix pushed further in. Not only was he girthy, but he was lengthy. When I felt his skin press against mine, I knew he was all the way in.
"Oh, fuck." He whispered under his breath, as he let out a heavy sigh. His eyes looking down at where we connected, he began to move his hips slowly never moving his eyes as he watched the movements. I pushed my face into the side of my arm, biting down on my bottom lip as the motions I was so unfamiliar with. But it felt so good. It felt so fucking good.
I felt pressure on my wrists as he used that hand of his to hold him up, his other wrapping around my jaw as he forced me to look at him. His eyes were locked onto mine and I practically begged for his lips to touch mine.
Our lips locked slightly disturbed by the movement of his hips against my body. I kept trying with my wrists but the more I tried the harder he held them down.
The bow around my neck began to irritate me and I sighed heavily. Felix pulled his mouth away and I frowned. The pout didnt last long as his skin connected with mine as a slightly faster pace. He sat up, pausing inside of me as he untied the bow. He grabbed my wrists and place them around his neck as he lifted the fabric over my eyes, gently tying it around my face before lowering me back on the bed.
I couldn't see anything, but I could feel everything and hear everything. Which for some reason made every thing seem so much more intense.
"You're so pretty." I heard Felix say as his hand traveled down my chest over my stomach and to the base of my member before his hand suddenly stopped.
Both hands wrapped around my thighs, lifting my lower body to a slightly better angle for him. I kept my hands above my head like I assume he wanted. His hands gripped my hips seconds later as he forced himself all the way inside me and a moan escaped my throat without warning.
[Felix]
I liked watching it. I liked seeing myself push in and pull out of him. I like seeing what this newfound pleasure was doing to me and to him. His skin was so fucking soft, as if he applied lotion twice a day.
The blace lace caressed his cheeks and his lush swollen pink lips parted as a moan escaped them. I repeated the action that caused the noise just to be able to hear that melody again.
He held his wrists above his head for me, I didn't have to give him the order.
I glanced down at his body, my hands that gripped his waist that helped my pulled him down onto me easier. His stomach flat and lined with abs, his biceps consticted as he fought against the leather belt only to be defeated.
"Felix." He softly moaned my named and I groaned at the sound, climbing back over him and sliding an arm underneath his back.
"Say my name again." I whispered against the skin of his collar bone. My hips trembling as I pushed myself in, my dick already throbbing. I didn't have the stamina or the endurance to go as fast or hard as my body was begging me too, not for my first time and definitely not for his. I felt beads of his precum rub against my stomach and he hissed at the slight touch. He was so wet for me, i smirked against his skin as I kissed the spot.
"Felix." I watched his lips trembled as he moaned my name again. I forced my hips in steady back and forth motion. His lips never meeting each other as the remain parted. I could hear the hitch in his breath as he desperately tried to hold in noise.
"Again." I said, forcing myself in a little harsher and he whined out at the contact. His lips forming a small frown, but I just smirked and did the motion again, this time a loud lewd sound escaped his throat. "I said again."
I reached my hand up, my thumb tracing his bottom lip and his kissed the pad of my finger. My heart jumped at the simple kiss.
"Felix." It was a hushed, shaky whisper that somehow made me throb harder than when he said it louder. I felt him tighten around me and I sucked in a raspy breath. He took my thumb into his mouth and my eyes widened at his confidence to do so.
The pace with my hips slowed and I felt myself start throbbing a little quicker, realizing I wouldn't be able to last much longer.
"Felix, I can feel.." I pushed myself all the way into him which cause his sentence to break off, finishing the erst of it with a soft moan. I made the next few thrust count, trying to hold myself in as he arched his back to my movements.
He let out strings of curses, he was throbbing against my stomach and I couldn't help but smirk. I pushed myself up, holding onto his hips again.
I watched as he finished, letting myself finish with him as I went full skin to skin with him as I released. I didn't pull out though. Instead I reached my my phone and snapped a few pictures of how fucking gorgeous he looked. His skin glistening with sweat, the black lace against his cheek and the mess of white on his stomach.
I saved the photos to a my eyes only folder before tossing my phone to end the of the bed. I removed myself from him and reached up to removed the blindfold. His eyes were shut even when I pulled him up by his wrist to remove my belt. He slowly let his eyes flutter open as I worked to undo the leather, a small smile spreading across his lips.
"What?" I asked, trying not to seem to flustered at the fact that I just slept with the most attractive man in the world.
"We just took each other viginity." He giggled lightly and his smile grew. He felt back against the bed, arms out as I held the belt in my hands.
I turned my face away to hide my smile as I pulled on my boxers.
"Hey, go clean up. I'll take care your sheets." I pointed towards the mess between his thighs. He looked and instantly shyed away, realizing he was still exposed in front of me. He jumped up and ran into the bathroom and I pulled of the quilt, rushing into the kitchen to dump it in the wash. I walked back into his bedroom to find the bedsheets were unscathed, but his pillow cases were soaked with sweat. I peeled them off and them added them to the wash.
Hyunjin walked into the laundry room as I started the washer. He had on a pair of pajama pants that were made of incredibly thin fabric. The waistline sat just above his member and I noticed a few veins popping from the area between his v-line and below his abs.
He walked closer to me, he bare chest to my back and he ducked his head into the crook of my neck arms around my exposed waist. My breathing stopped as I realized where he was touching. I began to panic a little inside and turned around to push him off slightly. The skin to skin contact with my upper body mad me highly nervous.
"Felix." He sounded upset that I pushed him away. I knew he was. He looked down at my exposed upper body and I felt the need to cover myself, but he held my arms away from me.
"Hyunjin. Let me go."
"Is it about these?" He asked, reaching his finger up to graze over a few of the marks.
"Hyunjin please." i sighed, closing my eyes to keep tears from rising.
I heard him sigh before I felt him place his lips on my tatted shoulder before lowereing them to kiss the spots where there were scars. The way he gently caressed them made them hurt more.
"I think they are beautiful." He said and I opened my eyes to looke down, watching him kiss the ones on my hips.
"Why?"
"Because they are a part of you." He spoke honestly as he stood up straight. I just looked at him. I debated whether I should call him a liar and run away. He was the first person to see these scars and he didn't question them. So naturally, instead of running away like my mind told me to, I kissed him. I kissed him hard, my hands holding his waist tightly.
"Can we go back to hating each other?" I aske playfully. I missed the bickering yes, but I think the honest reason for my question was that I wasn't ready to admit that i wanted him to be mine yet.
"Who said I stopped hating you?" Hyunjin joked back and I laughed. I turned around, placing my hands on the shaking washer. His lips found my shoulder again.
"Do you want me to hate you?" He asked me and I couldn't think, not with the way his lips were touching me. "Cause I can. I can hate you so fucking much if thats what you want. Or..."
His hands circle around my body, his hand flat agaisnt my stomach. My eyes fluttered as he hand played with the waistband of my boxers. "Or?"
"Or, I can love you if you let me."
"What?" I turned around to face him.
"You heard me." There was no shyness to him now. No hesitation to his words, they way he said it fully told me he meant it.
"You don't even know me."
"I know enough of you?" He said with this shrug of his shoulders
"Okay. Then what's my favorite color?"
"it's not had to guess that it's black. You're a night owl, everything you were that isn'y uniform is black or a dark gray."
"That's a lucky guess." I scoffed looking away from him.
"You also hate spicy food, you avoid it whenever they serve something spicy at lunch or when Minho cooks a dish for dinner. Your favorite class is Literature because it's the only class you attend. You never actually inhale the smoke of the cigarette, you just pretend and blow out the smoke."
He continued to point out little things he's noticed about me and i felt my knees grow weak and my heart fluttered.
"So what do you say? Should I hate you or love you?" He was asking the both of us. It was a thought to contemplate.
"Can I have both?" I asked with a smirk and a smile formed on his lips.
"I can do both."
----
[A/N]
Finally this chapter is finished. Oh my god. I know a lot of you have been waiting for this chapter. This one is probably the longest out of all the ones I have written for this book so far.
Am I allowed to say that I love Hyunlix once again? Is it wrong to love my own writing so much?
I hope you are all doing okay! I love you all! Stay healthy and happy for me and yourselves, each and every one of you are absolutely amazing!