I left my home room class in a hurray, the sound of footsteps flooding the hallway made me anxious as I practically sprinted to my locker.
Just ignore the whispers and the stares. Just ignore them. I was taking Cheongsan's advice. Hoping I had the strength to ignore all the looks and not cower away.
As I reached my locker, I felt a shoulder hit mine, knocking my into the metal. I regained my footing a looked, two jocks. The turned to look at me with degrading smiles as they mouth the word 'slut' and I frowned.
Why are jocks always the most bold with this kind of bullshit when they could lose the most?
"Hey! Watch where the fuck you're walking!" I turned around and Jeongin was standing right by me, his hand reached out for me. "You okay?"
I just nodded and turned my face away, hiding it the opening of my locker.
"I've heard people talking Hyunjin. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. I don't care about it." I lied. I've never been on the recieving end of what rumors can do. Then again I never involved myself in rumors to began with. This goes beyond me. I don't know what to do.
"You seem like you care. You're frazzled." He took a step up to me, voice full of concern. "Is there anything I can do?"
I look at him when I closed my locker door. I noticed that he was the only coming anywhere near sic feet of me. Like I was some sort of disturbance.
"No. It'll pass. Everything always passes." I shrugged my shoulder, and briskly walked past him. I didn't plan on sticking around for the rest of the day anyway, not when I'd have to face Jisung in almost every class.
Is this the treatment you get for simply saying no? I snuck out side doors, trying not to be seen by teachers. I knew I was being watched by students so I didn't really care too much if they saw me or not.
I felt bad for brushing Jeongin off the way I did. But he was right, I am frazzled. I'm upset. The whispers in the hall back less of whispers and more like shouts. I'd apologize to him later when o had the chance.
I wanted to find Felix. I wanted to be around him. Everything else disappeared when I was in his presence, like nothing else mattered.
I was hoping to find him and his friends in the old building again, but I was out of luck. They weren't here and I had no idea where else to look.
I pulled out my phone and texted Felix. Where are you?
I wondered around the quiet parts of campus for a while waiting for a text back.
In class. Why?
Damn. The one time I was hoping he was being his natural self he was actually following the rules. Seconds later I got another text from him.
Is something wrong? Where are you?
I took a deep breath and let it out as I walked by the pond again, the statue room looked as if she was crying as the mist watered her face.
I'm okay. I just can't go to class, I'm going home.
I sent the text and clicked the lock button on my phone, shoving it into my pocket. I made my way to the front courtyard, walking down the drive towards my dorm house.
I turned back towards the statue in the pond and stared for a minute. Sometimes I wish I could be like her.
Just a collection of art, when someone stares or talks about me it because they find beauty in me. But I'm alive and human.
I know that not everyone is going to like me. That there will always be people who will stop at nothing to point out my flaws or talk behind my back or simply just hate my existence. But I didn't think it would be someone I called a friend. I didn't think it would hurt this bad.
I took my phone back out and called Heeseung. I know he's be in class right about now, but he'd always answer. Not matter what.
The line rang twice and then I heard his voice.
"Hey. You never called during school hours, what's up?"
"I think i made a mistake, Heeseung."
"What happened?" I could hear the worry in his voice.
"Jisung. I rejected him and now I'm the talk of the fucking school. Not in a good way."
"Oh Jesus fuck. What are they saying? Have you told anyone?"
"Who is there to tell when everyone already knows?" I said watching my feet as I walked forward. When I came up on my yard I turned, walking down the driveway and up the porch stairs.
The door wasn't locked. It never was unless we were all asleep. I dropped my back by the door.
"I'm sorry, Jinnie." There was sorrow. Not pity. He was sad with me. "I'd give you a hug if I could. Are you sure it was Jisung who started the whole thing?"
"Who else would? I don't talk to anyone but my roommates and half the time I don't even talk to them."
"That's a fair point I suppose. I'm sorry to do this but I gotta hang up before Mr. Chang comes back in. Talk later though?"
"Yea. Of course."
"Okay, bud. Love you."
"Love you too. Bye."
The call disconnected and I found myself standing in Felix's room again. I collapsed onto his bed, pulling the covers over my body and letting them just swallow me away from the world.
I know understood the feelings people feel when something bad is said about them and it sticks. Would this stick to me?
I faintly heard the front door closed and footsteps beating down the hallway. A creak of a bedroom door and curse word before those same footsteps came wondering in here.
"Hyunjin?" Felix's voice. He pulled the covers from over my head and looked at me with concern as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Hi." I smiled weakly at him.
"What's wrong?" It wasn't an are you okay? like he already knew that I wasn't. "Is it-"
"Yea." I just closed my eyes, all of the worrying my mind has done just this morning made me incredibly tired.
"I know you asked me not to do anything, but please let me." He asked, his voice light.
"No violence, Felix. It won't help."
"I never said anything about violence. We have a zero bullying tolerance, Hyunjin. And one of our roommates just so happens to be head boy of this school. He has to bring it to headmistress if it gets brought to him."
"Chan?" I asked, peeking my eyes open just a bit.
"Yea."
"I have a feeling he doesn't like me either."
"This ain't about liking someone. The kind of rumors going around is damaging." He said, brushing my hair out of my face. "I would know what that's like, you don't need to go through it. Let me talk to Chan."
"Cheongsan said it would only last a few days. It'll be fine."
"Yea, well I'm not willing to let it last even one day." Felix said sternly and I sighed.
"Fine."
"Okay." He kisses my forehead before pulling out his phone and standing for the bed. When the call connected he spoke.
"Hey, Chan. We need to talk."
——
[A/N]
Love a good defender, don't we?
Also Felix is the ultimate standard, always will be and you can't change my mind. He has officially bias wrecked me and has won back his place as #1 bias.
I hope you guys are doing okay. I love you! It's probably my last update for today, it's late and I need sleep lmao.
Goodnight Honeybees!