Vanessa' pov:
I have been here for a month now and I must say this is the happiest I have been in so long.
I feel so free, I totally forgot how freedom felt like before. It didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells anymore.
I am no longer scared to go to bed or scared of waking up. I don't have to watch over my shoulders in fear of receiving an unexpected hit.
Petra has been taking very good care of me and Dami. She even enrolled Dami in this rich ass school. I told her that it was too much, but she wouldn't listen. She said the money was nothing to her and her mother insist that her grand-daughter goes to the best school in town.
I told her I want to look for a job but she refused, saying that she'll provide everything I need and more.
I know she can provide all I need but I still feel like I'm imposing. I feel like I'm a burden to her.
She saw the way I was sad when she said no to me finding a job. She then promised that I could look for a job as soon as Maurice gets caught.
Maurice is still out there somewhere. Her men can't seem to find his dumb ass. I guess when you're being hunted down, You automatically become smart.
Speaking of men....I've asked her what she does and why she has so many men.but she always waves me off, saying it's a story for another time.
I think she has a dangerous job cos the amount of security in this place is maddd. She even has men watching Dami in school,just incase Maurice decided to show up.
Even I,have to take at least one body guard before i leave the house. Not that I go to alot of places anyways.
I'm so sick and tired of staying at home. The only time I go out is either when pam or Maddy comes around.
Petra has been really flirty with me lately. Not that there was ever a time where she wasn't being flirty. I really, really like it, hell I look forward to it everyday day.
Last week, we were watching a movie and we had a moment and she kissed me, i panicked and slapped her. She quickly apologized and left me to her room. I instantly felt bad, now she'll think I don't want her kissing me. When in reality I do,I've been wanting her to that for a while now.
She has been avoiding me since that incident. I really miss her so much. I miss her whispers of sweet nothings, I miss the look on her face anytime I come down for breakfast or dinner. I miss the way she comes to my room unannounced I just miss her. I miss the way she hugs my from behind when I'm cooking. I miss her warm body. I miss her scent. Ughhhh..I miss you Petra Kings!!
( A/N: I just realized they didn't have last names. So Petra's is gonna be Kings. I'm not gonna give Vanessa a last name now,cos I will definitely forget it when the time to use it comes.)
I don't even understand how I'm feeling right now. Wait does this mean I'm attracted to her? Is that why I'm feeling this way?
I can't be attracted to her, right? I'm not a lesbian,right? Wait am I homophobic? Is that why I think I'm not a lesbian?
Ughhhhh....lorddddd please guide me.
I don't understand this feelings. I have never felt this way for anyone. Even when I started dating Maurice. when he was still faking to be a saint. I never did felt like this for him. I never felt like I was going insane when he was gone for days.
Oh lorddd, I'm now comparing the way I felt before and now.
I think I'm getting attached to her. I'm going crazy, I haven't even set my eyes on her for two whole days! How can she just make herself scarce like that? Doesn't she consider my feelings? Why would she do me like that.
She probably think I don't want her. Wait do I want her?
Of course you do,stupid.
I just want my flirty Petra back. It's that too much to ask for?
Why does things have to be so complicated.
I miss her and I want her. Her lips on mine felt so fucking good. It felt like our lips was meant for each other. Her lips are the softest pair of lips I've ever kissed.
Even tho the kissed didn't last long, it still felt better than any of the kisses I shared with maurice.
Thinking of those kisses I shared with him in the past is making my skin crawl.
How blind of me to have married that thing? He is the literal definition of disgusting.
I wonder what my life would have been like if it was Petra I was married to for 5 yrs.
Ughhhh.... Why does all my thought center around Petra?
I want her, I know I do but there's this part of me that is scared to put myself out there again.
I have severe trust issues. I don't want to enter into another relationship which will end up with me being bruised,battered and heart broken.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" I looked up to see Maddy giving me a concerned look.
"Petra" I said sighing.
"What did she do?" She asked.
"She kissed me the other day. I panicked and slapped her, now I barely see her. I really miss her so much." I said sadly.
"You know Petra has feelings for you right? Maybe she thinks you don't want her the way she wants you that's why she's giving you space."
"But I don't want her to give me space. I want her to be all up in my face. I want us to be like we were before." I said pouting.
"Do you have feelings for her?"
"Yes, but.... I still have scars from my last relationship.you know?"I said playing with my fingers.
"Right. That's true... tell her how you really feel and your insecurities. Just know that you're not being forced into anything. If you don't like her romantically just tell her and she'll understand. She will be heartbroken,but she will get over it. Don't agree to her just cos you feel like it's a way of repaying her for what she's done for you. It's better you're true to her and yourself."
"I know that. But I'm having these foreign feelings. Feelings I have never had in my entire life I'm kinda scared."
"giving the things you've went through, it's okay to be scared, Just talk to Petra. I'm sure you guys will figure something out." She said coming to sit beside me and pulling me to her.
" I haven't seen her in two whole days, she sneaks in and sneaks out. She only check on Dami. I miss my petra" I said pouting.
" Your Petra? Seems like someone is head over heels for my bestie...Don't worry I will talk to her."
"Thank you" I said smiling and pushing her a little
"You're welcome Sister in law, now go dress up let's go out. I'm bored out of mind."
"Thanks for coming. I'm tired of counting the furnitures." I heaved a sigh of relief before running upstairs to get dressed.
I really need a day out to clear my mind off everything.
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A/N: okayyyy..... End of chapter 15 y'all. How do y'all find this chapter? Personally I hate it but anyways,I really want to thank you guys for taking time to read and vote on my books. It really means a lot to me. When I started this book I didn't think I would have alot of readers but here I am. I know the reads are not much now, but I do believe it's gonna increase.
@clitcorrectioncenter thank you for always being the first to read and vote. I really appreciate it.
Keep on reading and voting🙃
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