[Felix]
"Excuse me what?" I asked him. Completely baffled at what I heard leave his mouth.
"I'm not repeating that question." He sounded embarrassed. He covered his face turned to walk the opposite direction as if he instantly regretted asking me.
"Hyunjin! Wait!" I stood there frozen for a second, before jogging to catch up to him. "Stop. Hold on."
I grabbed his shoulder and he stopped. He didn't look at me though as I turned him around. "You want me to sleep with you?"
He refused to look at me and I had just realize how incredibly shy this boy actually was. Especially with this. Why else would he not have told me all of those things before?
"Hyunjin. Please look at me." He shook his head. "Why?"
"Because I can feel you about to reject me."
My heart sank. "I haven't even answered yet."
"I know."
I lifted his chin to make him look me in the eyes, but his eyes looked away from me instantly. "Hyunjin. I told you I was a virgin."
"Yea, I know. So am I."
"I won't really know what I'm doing." I admitted. "Do you mean it?"
"You keep asking me that. Have you not gotten the hint that I do when it comes to you?" He finally looked at me.
"I guess not." I lowered my hand from his body.
"Are you saying no?" He asked, looking at me fully.
"No. I'm just... processing."
The truth is... we say we can't stand each other, but in all honesty even though we barely know each other, I don't think we can stand to be away from each other.
Anytime I'm near him, I have the urge to kiss him. To shower him with my lips, mark him in places no one else can touch. Is that insane of me to want?
I've never wanted someone so bad, so intensely. It burns me to my core.
"My question is... if I say yes, would you be willing to participate the stuff I like?" I looked at him after contemplating my answer.
"I'd be willing to try." He said, nervously.
"To what extent?" I asked him, stepping closer.
"What's your limit?" His breath hitched.
"That's not the topic here. How far are you willing to go?"
I know he searched my interests. I know he knows what lies within the terms of it, the kind of things that happen under the guidelines of it.
"I-" He stuttered. "I don't know."
I simply nodded and grabbed his hand. There was a place in town.. a shop for things like this. If he really wanted this... he was gonna have to see what he'd be up against.
——
[Hyunjin]
He never gave me an answer. Simply took me to a store with so many... wild things. He told me what they were used for, how he would use them.
But he never answered.
I laid in bed, it was 9:36 p.m. I couldn't sleep and I knew exactly why. The feeling was still bubbling in my stomach of what I asked of him. How it would feel.
My mind occasionally would ease into the depths of my imagination. I didn't know how his body looked beneath all those baggy clothes, but I could imagine.
His hands were soft, his lips were soft. I bet the rest of him felt just as soft. Imagining the feeling of his skin touching mine, full contact. His lips on my skin again, his hands in my hair again.
I shook my thoughts head and climbed out of my bed. I knew he was still going to be up, so I walked across the hall quietly, hoping no one was wondering around in the living room to see me. I knocked on his door twice before entering.
But once I was in, I noticed he was gone. His window was cracked open and the currents shifted a little with the breeze that came in. I frowned as I walked over to his bed and curled up in it, resting my head on his pillows. They smelled so much like him.
The musky smell of pine and lemon. I wrapped my arms around his pillow and breathed in the scent.
I hated how obsessed with him I was. I hated that I couldn't get him out of my head. I hated that I felt the need for him to look at me when he was around. I hated all of it, but I wanted it.
Is that possible, to hate something you crave so badly. So profusely.
I wanted him. If I were literally insane... I'd think I was madly in love with him. But any sane person could see that "madly" doesn't even begin to cover it. He doesn't know the half of how crazy he makes me for him, how much I want him all the fucking time, but can't stand to be near him because of it.
Finally Admitting this to myself though, feels freeing. From the moment we first kissed, the moment that made the connection between us, I haven't been able to get him out of my head since. Even if he was consciously there the whole time, there was a part of him somewhere in there disturbing my mental peace.
I heard the window lift open behind me. There was a moment between the sound and the shift of the bed.
"What are you doing in here?" He asked. I could feel him behind me. His hand rested on my arm.
"I kind of forgot why." I said, burying my face further into his pillow. He reached over me and set a plastic bag on the floor by his bed. I went to look at him, but his face was hovering a few inches from mine to my surprise as he took his arm back to his side.
"Roll over." He said, as he laid behind me and I complied, turning over to face him.our noses were touching.
"What's in the bag?" I asked.
"Nothing important." He closed his eyes.
"Looked important." I said. "Can I look?"
"Only if you plan on taking the contents out." I raised an eyebrow and leaned up in my elbow. I was tempted, very tempted.
"I thought of my answer." He said, opening his eyes, looking me straight in mine. "I'll do it."
"Really?"
"Yea. Just not tonight." He yawned and snuggling further into his pillow. "I'm tired."
"Okay." I smiled and went to get off the bed, but he grabbed my waist.
"You don't have to leave." He said his voice deep and husky. "Stay. Please." I laid back down, facing him. Watching his face as he tried to sleep. He peeled his eyes open at me then quickly closed them and a smile spread on his face.
"You're staring."
"I know."
"Why?" His arm laid over my side and I sucked in a breath at the simple touch.
"Because.. I think I like you."
"Yea?" I nodded, even though he couldn't see it, I know he felt the movement.
"I think I like you too."
——
[A/N]
Y'all begged for another update so here you go lmao. You're welcome.
Debating if I should make y'all wait for the Hyunlix scene or do it next chapter. I have both options already planned out.
Don't know which one yet.
Love y'all!