I told him I'd think about it. The look on his face made my heart ache a little. But it's barely been a month.
And yet you let him suck you dick. You're an asshole, a voice popped into my head to insult and then disappeared.
I've never seen myself as the kind of person to use someone for sexual pleasure and disregard them. I still don't, it was supposed to be a mutual thing. Was he serious about being his boyfriend?
Had he anticipated asking me this entire time? That's when a thought popped up in my head. How would Changbin feel? The guy likes him... and I fucked around with him. Oh god.
I pressed my face further into my pillow. Not to mention, Chan has had a salty attitude since I basically told them to fuck off yesterday.
I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to go to school today. I could make up an excuse, tell everyone I feel sick, say that dinner upset my stomach last night. I could lay here in bed, all day, contemplating my life choices and regret ever existing. That last part is my parents fault.
My phone started ringing. It was Heeseung's ringtone. I pulled my phone of my charger and swiped the accept button, placing the phone up to my ear.
"What's up?"
"Well, good morning to you, sunshine." He sounded happy.
"What's got you in such a good mood so early this morning?" I asked, sitting up in bed and leaning against the headboard.
"My reason for calling..." there was a long dramatic pause.
"Just spit it out already, man. Damn." I said, growing impatient with the silence.
"It happened."
My eyes widened. "What. You and Sunni?"
"Yea. We did it. Last night."
"Is she okay with you telling me?" I was slightly concerned. Sunni was a private person.
"Yea she is. You're the only person I'm allowed to say anything to, so it doesn't back to her parents." Heeseungs voice was chirpy, you could hear him smiling. They had just become officially serious. "No enough about me. What's happened since you left."
I choked on air.
"Oh shit. Is that the sound of tea brewing?" Heeseung joked with me.
"Uhm. Haha." There was nervousness in my voice and I know he could hear it. "I may have hooked up with one of my roommates."
"What?!"
"Not all the way, dude. Just like.. I don't know."
"Ohhh. So just some touchy geeky moments huh?" I was already envisioning exactly how he looked right now. A wide smile on his face, wiggling his brows at me. If I were there he'd probably start poking at me.
"Yea. He asked me to be his boyfriend."
"Oh shit. What'd you say?"
"Nothing. Said I'd think about it."
"Do you like him?"
"Yea. I mean I guess. He's really sweet. But.."
"But what?"
"He's known for going around with everybody. I don't want to be put in a trophy case full of gold and silver, man." I said with a small voice. "I want the only one there. And platinum, you know."
"Dude chill out, you've never had a boyfriend. You are gonna have to go through a few of those to reach that platinum, you know that right?"
I sighed into the phone and there was a knock at my door. "One sec, Heeseung."
I got out of bed and opened my door. Jisung was standing outside it. "Everyone is leaving for school." He informed.
"I'm not going today."
"Oh why?" His brows furrowed.
"I don't feel good. I don't think dinner settled well in my stomach last night." I gave him a small smile and he nodded.
"Oh. Well if you need anything, text me okay?" He reached up and twirled a piece of my hair in his fingers. "Try to feel better." He disappeared down the end of the hall and I looked over to see Felix leaning against his doorway. He rolled his eyes and disappeared back into his room.
I scoffed and closed my door before returning to my phone.
"Okay I'm back." I spoke but I could hear Heeseung fake snoozing on the other line. "Really?"
He erupted in a fit of laughter. "Sorry. What was it?"
"Someone was at my door." I didn't speak a name.
"Ohhh. Hey, which one did you hook up with?"
"Doesn't matter." I wanted to change the topic.
"Will you tell me if I guess it right?"
"No."
"Why noooooot." He over exaggerated his tone dragging out his words.
"Because you'll rub it in my face." I said.
"Well, I won't stop bugging you until you tell me either." Fair point. It was Heeseung, that's what he did. When he wants information he won't stop until he gets it.
"Fine."
"Was it Felix?" Again, I could practically feel hun poking me.
"No."
"Oh, is it the other Australian boy?"
"Hah. No. Chan is not my type." I made a face as I walked into my bathroom.
"Oh. The really sweet one with glasses! The one with the cute cheeks you showed me a picture of. Fuck what's his name!?" He was spiraling.
"Jisung is his name and yes. Yes it was him."
"Oh my god! You bagged the cutie!" His tone got a little higher. The way he said it made me smile.
"Yea. But like I said. He has a reputation, Heeseung."
"So?"
"So. Like I said before."
"Jinnie. I know this cliche to say, but what if it's not the same thing. Not to mention, a reputation is completely different than who people actually are. High school rumors start reputations, not actions."
"Fair point." I said as I put him on speaker and placed toothpaste onto my toothbrush. "Wait, are you supposed to be going to school?"
"Nah, schools cancelled today, something to do with something I didn't pay attention to. Hey, Imma request FaceTime."
"Alright." Next second later I heard the little buzz and accepted it, leaving him on the counter below me as I brushed my teeth.
"Hey, when is your homecoming this year." He asked, I could see him now. He was messing with his hair and laying on his bed.
"Uhm, beginning of October I think."
"You gonna go? I don't usually go but Sunni wants to, and I want to know if you're gonna suffer with me this year." He gave me a teasing smile and I shook my head at him as I rinsed out my mouth.
"I don't know honestly. Maybe? Depends I guess."
"Depends on if a certain cute cheeky boy asks you?" He wiggled his brows at me.
"Fuck off." I laughed at him and exited my bedroom. I needed food.
I walked into the kitchen with my phone in hand and pulled out a frying pan. Eggs sounded pretty good.
"I often forget that you literally walk around half naked everywhere."
"Hey, I have pants on. The plaid ones we got last year."
"Bro no way." He smiled and lifted his comforter up. "We are literally matching." He cackled and I chuckled with him.
"Dude, I miss you." I said into the phone as I flipped the eggs in the pan.
"I know. How can you not?"
"You and you're ego." I rolled my eyes at him.
"You love me and my ego." I flipped him off through the camera.
"That your boyfriend?" Felix came into the kitchen, rewrapping his hand.
"What? No. Just my best friend." I defended. I would never date Heeseung, plus he's straight.
"Who is that?" I could see Heeseung, inch his face closer to his camera and I lifted him up to show him Felix who was walking behind me.
"The asshole I was telling you about." I smiled cockily at Felix who just waved at the phone in my hand.
"Tell him to get closer." Heeseung said.
"Just take my damn phone, please. I don't want him anymore." I handed Felix the device and continued prepping my food.
"I don't want him." He whispered, but relunctantly picked up the phone and awkwardly said 'hey' to my friend.
"Oh fuck. Photos don't do you justice." I jumped over the table and pulled my phone away from Felix who was smirking.
"Heeseung, you're supposed to be straight. Dear god!"
"Hey, I can tell a man he's attractive and it can still be platonic." Heeseung glared at me. "But on a side note. I think I might be bisexual. I'm honestly getting jealous of you at this point."
"Dude. You've literally stated you could never be physically attracted to a guy." I rolled my eyes at him as I propped him up in the table. Felix was sitting across from me, scooping cereal into his mouth.
I stabbed into my eggs and shoved a piece in my mouth.
"Maybe being straight is a phase." He gave me wide eyes before bursting into laughter.
"You guys have no filter." Felix eventually said as he shook his head.
"We really don't." I smiled as I finished my food. "Wait, why aren't you in school?"
"Same reason you aren't. I'm feeling sick." He put air quotations around the word sick.
"Oh."
"Just didn't feel like dealing with bullshit today." Felix shrugged his shoulders and Heeseung leaned into the phone.
"What's he saying. I can't hear him."
"Heeseung, butt out. I swear you're the noisiest bitch I know."
"Hey! That's rude." He faked pouted at me and I rolled my eyes.
"Imma get off here. Text you though." I waved at him.
"Jinnie! Don't lea-"
I hung up before he could finish his sentence.
"Your friendship is cute." Felix spoke with a smile.
"Thanks. Been friends since we were like 6." I rinsed my plate in the sink and turn back around to him. "You're strange you know that?"
He looked up at me with an expression full of confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You're literally rude to me all the time, except when you aren't. You've kissed me then ignored me. And you actually fucking smile. Which I find weird to see you doing."
"I could say the same thing to you then." He shrugged his shoulders and placed his bowl in the sink and stood in front of me with crossed arms. "You're judgmental, bitchy, act like you can't stand me and yet here we are actually having a conversation for once that doesn't involve you glaring at me."
He walked away and grabbed his back of cigarettes from the counter. "If anyone has a problem here, it's you Hyunjin. Not me."
I watched him walked out of the kitchen and I heard the back door open.
Was I really the problem?
——
[A/N]
Another update for this story because I've been aching to have a Felix and Hyunjin moment. Next chapter will be with these two as well.