What is that saying about plans and laughs again?
I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything less. Despite knowing the danger, I tempted it by leaving the compound and exposing myself to the outside world. Even though I told no one where I was going and told no one of the trip, somehow, someone found out and they followed me back home.
That's the only solution, right? I'm the cause of the chaos and deaths? And I'm the one to blame for my current predicament.
"Just do it. Finish it."
"No."
"Ryker...." I drift off, studying him. Steadily, he stares back, defiance in his gaze. "I don't have any choice."
I didn't have a choice—not anymore. The attack took away my choice to remain normal or to augment. Now, I needed it. It was the only way to have a somewhat normal life.
"You're still weak and recovering. Give it a few days. I'm begging you, Blue."
"No." Shaking my head, I drop back against the thick hospital mattress. It squeaks under me, groaning from the half-temper tantrum I want to throw. "Get it done, now. While the pain is fresh and my body will accept it. There's no reason to deny the inevitable."
The attack on Oleum Hold did far worse damage than we thought. My compound is gone, and with it, my security. And worse, they attacked while I was under anesthesia and the machines cut open my spine.
I can't complain. The nanites did a wonderful job of repairing my body, but it would never be the same. There are internal injuries, things they cannot repair, still broken and the best option I have is to undergo the augmentation.
It's no longer a want—it's a necessity.
"I can barely move my arms and legs, Ryker, and when I try, I break into a sweat."
"Blue, we can—"
"No, we can't." I hiss. "Waiting around for some miracle to happen won't make this better. They attacked while I was vulnerable and I paid the price. The only option I have is to finish the augmentation."
He sighs and looks away from me. Stress mars his face, making lines appear on his forehead and bringing tension to his shoulders and neck. For the last two hours, he's fought to argue me down, but I'm not changing my mind.
I want the augmentation, and I want it now.
"And if they attack again?"
"I can't control what others do."
"You can die, Blue." He says. "You can die and I could lose you. Do you have any idea what I'd do if you went to sleep and never woke up?"
"You'll never have to worry about that," I promise. "I'm not going anywhere, but I need to strike while the iron is hot—while they think I'm running scared or they believe I'm dead."
"It could take months to get you back in shape, or have you forgotten?"
How could I forget? Possible months upon months of physical therapy to relearn to walk, write, and maybe talk. If things don't go as well as I theorize, I could be locked in a broken vessel forever.
"I haven't forgotten, and it's a chance I have to take. I've already bet everything I have on this."
Silence falls over us as he mulls over my words. Slowly, he turns to walk toward the wall of windows to my left. They're floor to ceiling, exposing a vast forest beneath us. It goes for miles in every direction, shielding us from the city and prying eyes.
Painted a calming peach, the walls are bare except for two white and red basic abstract paintings hanging across from me beneath a large print circular clock. A pair of cushiony chairs sit against the bank of windows. White tiles lined the floor, artfully turned to the side to create a diamond effect.
Soft sheets wrinkle in my fingers, but my hospital gown is itchy on my skin. And the incessant pinging of my heart monitor coupled with the heavy footsteps outside bubble annoyance inside of me. Even after I tune them out and focus on Ryker, the sharp scent of chemicals and blood invades my nostrils.
This private hospital caters to a select few, offering the best medical care available on the planet. Ryker brought me here, to the edge of nowhere, to ensure the best hands in the world assisted with my recovery. None of them would ever touch me, not if everything went as planned.
"There's something else we need to talk about?"
"Oh?" He glances back at me, eyebrow raised. "What's that?"
"Are you going to replace Catrina?"
"Blue... don't."
"I heard someone mention it. I deserve to know what's going on with my security. It's me that dies if things go wrong..."
Scoffing, he turns away again. "Don't worry about it."
"I have to. You can't replace her, Ryker."
"I don't need your permission, Blue." He reminds me. "My job is to keep you protected, and it may involve hurting you in the process. She's replaceable."
"She's the only constant in my life outside of you and Levi," I whisper.
"Nothing in life is constant. That's a fairytale. You and I both know it. Depending on consistency outside of normal parameters for non-family is dangerous. I am the only constant in your life."
"She's been here through everything: my first kiss, my first date, when I got my period—I can go on and on. Losing her would hurt here," I tap my chest, just over my heart.
He studies me in silence, dark eyes tracing my face and neck. As the weight of his stare increases, I squirm and fight to keep eye contact. His next question sends my heart rate through the roof.
"Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"
I sputter and lie, closing my eyes as my voice raises an octave. "N-no! Wh-why would you think that?"
"You know better than to lie to me." His voice whips out low and harsh, sending a shiver up my spine. "There's something going on between you and Catrina, and I will find out what it is. Telling me saves us both a lot of time and effort."
"There's nothing, Ryker." I try again. "We're close because I was so young when she came on board."
"That may be the case, but I think you both can benefit from a little separation."
I suck in a breath and sit up, forcing my bones and muscles to cooperate. They rebel, roiling under my skin with numbness. A groan slips out of my mouth, exposing the frustration festering deep inside of me.
"What did you do?"
"I'm hiring another personal guard for you. They'll take over while Catrina investigates the origination and the perpetrator behind the attack."
"And I have no say about it? No opinion? Really?"
"No." He's all Ryker Daniels, the powerful magnate now, and not my father. The savage look in his eyes makes my stomach roll uncomfortably. "Unless you'd like to share what's going on between you and Catrina—and don't say it's strictly professional—because it's not. I've seen the way you look at her and the way your eyes light up when you talk about her."
"There's nothing going on, Ryker. You're being paranoid."
"Perhaps," he admits, gently stroking his lower lip, "but it pays to be cautious, especially in this day and age."
"Sorry to interrupt," Levi strolled into my room, "but the chopper's here."
Red blushed Ryker's ears. "Chopper? What the hell are you talking about?"
Levi didn't answer him. Instead, he turned to spear me with winking green eyes and mischief tilting his full lips. "I figured you'd want to finish augmentation. Was I wrong?"
"Get me the hell out of here."
"Good." His head bobs. "I'll be back in five minutes."
I want to leave this place. Hospitals and I don't mix. The overwhelming smell of chemicals, death and the tomb-like silence crashing into chaos left a bad taste in my mouth. Ryker's dark eyes turn to me, brimming with barely restrained rage.
"I beg you to re-think this, Blue."
With effort, I shake my head. "There's nothing left to think about. If I die on the table, then at least it was quick and I know what I was reaching for, rather than letting someone else's actions dictate my future."
Cursing under his breath, Ryker stomps out of my room. Utterly alone and miserable, I impatiently watch the clock as the minutes tick by. They drag, mocking me until I shut my eyes and let my head slam back.
An ache burrows at the base of my head, just above the top of my spine. Anxiously, I shift, forcing my arm to cooperate and lift to massage it. It does little to make it better, but along with the pain comes immense pressure.
What is happening to me? I long to see the scans in my chart, but I know it'll only make things worse. To see my body falling apart is different than simply knowing.
"You ready, kid?"
I latch my gaze to Levi and nod, shyly. This is my second chance and if someone attacks again... If I die this time... No one can say I didn't try.
"You've got nothing to worry about." He says, moving into the room. "You're going to breeze through augmentation and come out stronger than ever."
He doesn't have to speak the words. I know what he wants. If I come out of augmentation successfully, he'll want to follow, but I can't risk anyone's life yet. At least, not with any certainty they'll come out on the other side.
Months ago, when I first took this process under thought, I created a massive listing of tests. They measure stamina, endurance, and mental acuity, including a host of possible mental health issues. It's grueling, draining and time consuming, but I have to make sure I survive this.
Someone doing the same is a goal. Yet, still a dream for the future. A future I might not see.
Carefully, he extracts the cords connecting me to the machines on the side of my bed and unhooks them. A doctor comes in, accompanied by a nurse. They're similar in height and build.
Both are relatively petite, with dark hair, dark eyes and blemish-free caramel skin. Clutched in the doctor's hands is an open chart, but the nurse's hands are empty as she works a pair of gloves over her fingers. What are they doing?
"Good morning, Dr. Hawthorne."
"Good morning...?" I drift off, waiting for her name.
"I am Dr. Shariq and this is Issa. We've received word from your people that you're requesting a transfer to a private medical facility. Is this correct?"
Levi doesn't stop working.
"Yes, I have better equipment elsewhere and a better treatment option."
Her head tilts. "As your doctor, I advise against this. Your body has suffered massive trauma and needs time to heal and we haven't even broached the subject of your mental health."
"I'm fine."
"I don't think so, Dr. Hawthorne."
"I know what you're going to say, but I can't wait to do this. It's already difficult to lift my hand."
She lifts a scan above her head, letting the lift drift through the white sections of the X-RAY image. Sadness twists her features, but it passes quickly, returning to a smooth neutral expression. The nurse, Issa, moves to Levi's side to help him unhook the wires crisscrossing everywhere.
"There is extensive swelling in your muscles and tendons, that's limiting your range of motion. We'd like to wait for it to recede before exploring any options. I implore you to reconsider."
As the last wires fall, I offer her my full attention.
"I can't."
A second nurse enters, pushing a wheelchair. She sits it near my right side and engages the locks. Easily, Levi lifts me in his arms and carries me to sit.
"Dr. Hawthorne, undergoing a major surgery places your life at risk."
"What reward is there to reap with no risk?" I ask, quoting my father.
He's long dead, over a decade now, but his words roll off my tongue like water off a duck's back. They live inside of me, encouraging me, driving me—goading me—toward a future only I can create for myself. This surgery is only the first step.
"Do you need anything else from us, Dr. Shariq?"
Her shoulders droop, but she shakes her head. "No. The discharge paperwork is complete. Dr. Hawthorne is free to go."
"Thank you, Dr. Shariq."
She and the nurses remain behind in the room as Levi whisks me away. My heart clenches the closer we get to the elevator. Stubbornly, I remain silent.
My hopes of seeing Ryker dwindle as we pass through the quiet halls. They're wide, painted stark white and decorated with fake plants and more abstract art. The wheelchair whistles a low, unhappy tune where the tires meet the granite tiles.
"Levi," I hazard, "do you think I'm making a mistake?"
His breath feathers over my left ear. "Do you believe you're making a mistake?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure. If this fails and I die...."
"It won't fail and you aren't going to die."
The conviction in his voice steadies the nervous energy bouncing around in my stomach, but only for a moment. It's back a few seconds later with a vengeance. All the confidence in the hospital room was for a show and now there's nothing left inside of me. I'm hollow—frightened—and desperate to find reassurance.
"If I do—"
"You won't." He chuckles a bit. "You're not allowed to die."
"So, that's what I need?" I tease. "Permission? All of this time I believed death came no matter what we wanted."
"You're wrong."
"I think I shou—"
"Levi?" My heart jumps as Ryker's voice cuts me off.
He stands near the bank of elevators, leaning on the empty nurse's station. Sadness pulls his features down. His hands fiddle with his cufflinks, but his eyes meet mine.
"I need a moment with my daughter."
Without a word, Levi stops me near Ryker, and presses the call button before walking away.
"I didn't think you'd come back."
"I'll always come back," Ryker vows. "I'm sorry for storming out."
"You're upset and you have every right to be."
"I should have supported your decision. You've made decisions about your body and health for years and why should it change now?"
Warmth unfurls inside of me. This is what I need to hear. Smiling through the tears cascading down my cheeks, I reach out to him.
His arms close around me, and they don't release me for a long time. Water dots his shirt and suit jacket, but he doesn't care. Silently, he rises and drives me into the waiting elevator car.
A few hours later, we land at Macron Forrest. The mansion is a beautiful monument to my mother and houses a secret lab underground. I go to sleep as a human and wake augmented.
Author's Note:
Ah! It feels great to be back and writing about Blue again. I hope y'all are ready for one heck of a ride.
Don't forget to vote and tell me what you think in the comments.
Vance