A/N: I'm posting two times bc I had this one shot written for like a week so I shall post it. It's in Dan's Point of view, and I'm not romanticizing self harm. This is dedicated to my best friend bc she's having a little bit of a rough time right now and this reminded her of us. Enjoy.
I just couldn't take it. I was going back to that place I was at years ago, and I didn't want to go back. The hate towards me was getting worse, I barely uploaded videos due to the fact I was losing motivation, and I didn't want to do a 'day in the life of Dan and Phil' anymore. I just couldn't handle what the 'fans' were saying.
"Dan is boring. He should quit youtube."
"How is Phil friends with him? He's not even funny"
Those are just the more calmer ones. Others would say I was worthless and they even questioned why Phil would even move in with me. I just don't want to be here. I need a release, Phil wasn't home so I figured now would be a good time.
I walked into our shared bathroom when I saw the glint of silver. My razor. I contemplated if I should do it. I honestly don't care, I ripped the razor apart and just held it in my hand. I was about to but it to my skin when I heard the door slam, Phil was home. I quickly hid the evidence of my almost cutting myself. As I was 'cleaning,' Phil walked in. "Dan, why are you crying?" he asked, worry evident in his voice. I didn't realize I was crying until he asked me. I tried to wipe my eyes and pretend to be okay, but the tears kept coming. There was no use in trying to hide it. I inhaled deeply, trying to contain myself. "The hate, it was too much, I-I was going to hurt myself." I tried to explain almost in sobs as I looked to the ground, ashamed in myself. Phil started getting really worried, "Dan, why would you read the hate if it hurts you this bad?"
"I need to know what they're saying about me."
"No, you don't. The only opinions you need to worry about is mine and our friend's."
"Okay, but what about the hate?"
"Ignore it, that's the best thing I can say. You can take a break from your social media for a while, that's an idea."
"Okay, you're my best friend you know that right?"
"Yes Dan." Phil laughs as we walk into the living room. Phil puts on Attack on Titian. He knows that it's my favorite anime, and anime makes me happy, By the end of the first episode of our anime marathon, I was smiling again and I couldn't thank anyone other than my best friend.