A/N: heyooooo!
So my readers have spoken and it's been decided that I will drop one chapter EVERYDAY!
This is heavily unedited (as always) but enjoy the first draft lol!
***
"I'm so lucky to have you," said Varun, kissing the side of my head. I awoke from my half-sleeping state against his chest. I took a swipe at the popcorn bucket he was holding away from me.
"I agree. Now give me the damn popcorn!"
"Not until you say it back to me."
"I just agreed."
"No, I want you to tell me something sweet."
I chuckled, kissing his cheek. "I'm incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Happy?"
"Not as genuine as I'd like it to be, but I'll take it." He handed me the popcorn and I smiled. We had put on a movie like we did every Friday night, our leftover Chinese take-out boxes on the floor. We snuggled inside a blanket on the couch together. It was my favourite time of the day.
He kissed my cheek and then my jaw. "How was work today, anyway?"
I paused the movie. "It was so bad. My supervising lawyer was amazing but today I was shadowing someone else and he was so rude. He literally just wanted me to be his coffee-maker person."
And I also quit for us today, I thought. I mean, I already had a backup job ready and everything—the interview at the florist had gone great and heck, I'd always loved flowers and it would be perfect to do something that wasn't so taxing.
Hopefully, the glimmer of excitement didn't show on my face.
Varun snickered and I pulled myself back into reality. "It's not funny!" I protested.
"I know, babe. But this is why I think it's best for you to relax and stay at home once we get married, you know."
There we go. He won't even know what hit him when I tell him. "Varun, I studied hard for this internship. I can't just give it up."
"Exactly, you studied so hard for so many years. Don't you deserve to relax?"
"Forever?"
"You can always come back to the field. You've just started. Give it a year or two and then you can go back. I want to be able to have you all to myself for a little while until that honeymoon phase goes away."
Varun knew all the right things to say. I pecked his chin. "I'll think about it," I said, trying so hard to keep the smile off my face. We'd had this discussion plenty of times, and all the other times I'd always said no or I'll think about it. But our marriage was looming ever so close and I had to think real hard about it.
In reality, I'd already taken the leap and quit the same day but I wanted to keep it a secret from him. It would be a surprise after we got married, on our first night, when I would tell him that we could do anything we wanted for a long while. He would be over the moon.
He began to kiss my neck and my collarbone and I leaned away from him a little bit, my back creaking.
"Not today, Varun," I whined with a pout. "I'm super tired. Tomorrow, I promise."
"All right." He leaned away.
"Are you mad?"
"No, I respect that, babe. I love you." I tilted my head up to kiss his lips.
"This is why you're the best."
"I know I am." His phone dinged and he took a glance at it before flipping the phone down.
"Dude, you can pick it up," I said, "You know I don't mind. I've known you for how many years?"
"I'd rather spend time with you, duh." He wrapped his arms around me tighter, pulling me closer to him.
This is why I loved him so much. He respected my wants and my needs and never held anything against me. And now we were going to be husband and wife in less than three weeks. Life couldn't get any better.
***
Today was the day.
Today was the day I was going to be married.
"Okay, for real I thought you were going to be the last of us to get married," my best friend, Jade, gushed. She was trying to fix the straps of her red mermaid bridesmaid dress, her pale skin flushed and patchy from exertion.
One of my distant friends from school came up from behind and fixed it for her, her blue-bell eyes flashing toward me sitting idly on the couch. "I know! And here you are, the first bride, chilling like it's just another day at the cafe or something."
"It's Varun," I clarified, rolling my eyes as I leaned back into the velvet chair. "We've known each other for years. I've got nothing to be nervous about."
"Yeah, but you're getting married. Which means commitment forever."
Jade cut in, "Which also means the same dick forever."
I laughed as Miranda wrinkled up her nose. "Ugh, TMI."
My mum had stuck her head in, checking on all of us. "Everything okay in here?"
"Yup, perfectly fine."
"The photographer's going to be here soon so come down when you can and we'll go to the church after."
"Cool." I really wasn't too bothered by all this. I guess that was the perk of marrying your high school sweetheart. As soon as mum left, the void was filled in by Claudia, Varun's childhood best friend, her long hair cascading in chocolate waves over rich dark chocolate skin that was exposed from her off-shoulder peach dress.
Her dark owl-like eyes widened seeing me and I sat up straighter. She was a sweetheart but I'd always felt like I needed her approval—needed to impress her—so that I seemed worthy enough to be with Varun. "You look absolutely stunning! Varun's gonna have a field day with you, girl."
I waved a timid hand in the air, feeling bashful. "Oh please, he knows what my face looks like without makeup and he's not going to be impressed, I'm telling you now."
"I'll beat his ass if he says anything. It's your day."
"It sure is." We hugged, the smell of lilacs overwhelming my senses. I pulled away and smiled, our hands interlocked as we squealed and jogged on the spot like little girls.
"Alright, now that fangirling is done and dusted," said Claudia, "I gotta go early to check up on my artwork that's going on display soon. I'll be real quick, okay?"
"Does that mean you'll miss the wedding?"
"God no, not even if I was stuck at the gallery. I'll see you at the church."
"Well, I am the bride. If you don't see me, I'd be concerned."
"Oh, what a comedian."
As she left, Jade wobbled up beside me and squeezed my arm. "Ready?"
I blew out a deep breath, fixing my puffy wedding dress that seemed to swallow everyone's path, including the lower half of my body. "Ready as I'll ever be."
Jade and I hooked our arms through each other and headed down to meet with the photographers and possibly sneak in a few sips of alcohol to get my bearings on what was going on.
After the photographs, which were too many in my opinion, we were waiting to get into the car to head to the church. The door was open and my mum stood right near the passenger door. My dad was there, too, but talking to someone. They were waiting but I didn't really know for what.
I didn't exactly know how marriages worked. I'd barely been to any. I took out my phone from the side of the car and texted Varun.
hey hey ready to spend the rest of our lives together?
My mum clicked her tongue from above me, "Are you texting Varun? Can't you wait until you see the man in church?"
My heart thrummed in my ears just at the thought. Now that I thought about it and the words of my friends sank in, I was going to be walking down the aisle. I was going to be Varun's wife.
The nerves were starting.
"I guess I love him too much to give him some space," I joked. In reality, I didn't want to be making any jokes. Hell, my hands were trembling and no amount of squeezing of reassurance was helping it. My feet were tapping the floor of the car but because of the dress, my mum couldn't scold me for it.
I was a fucking mess.
My dream of becoming a wife and possibly a mother in the future was finally going to come true and with the man I loved. He'd proposed at the movies thinking it was during the loudest scene but actually, unfortunately for him, when the most dead-silent scene ever played next. We were both embarrassed but I'd honestly thought he was joking.
But no, here we were.
My dad hurried over and ushered for us to get in. It wasn't long before we came to the church, the scenes quickly blurring by into nothing. These scenes wouldn't be viewed by me anymore. By the time this day was over, I'd be sitting in a car, watching the scenery roll by with Varun.
God, I'm never going to get used to that.
My phone dinged in my lap and I flipped it over to see that it was a message from Anjali. Any fluttering of my heart or thrumming in my ears dissipated at seeing just the name. Without any hesitation whatsoever, my thumb clicked her message and deleted it. I didn't even glance at it.
"Mum," I began, putting the phone face down on my lap again, "you talk to Anjali now, right?"
She shared a look with my dad at the front. "Yes?"
"Then tell her to stop texting me. I don't want to be associated with a gold-digging liar."
"She's still your sister, Arshia."
"Why didn't she show up, then?" When mum didn't say anything but sigh, I continued, "Why do you still defend her after everything she did? It makes no sense to me."
"It's your wedding day, Arshia. Let's not ruin it by bringing things up that have no relevance to today."
A dark hole started to grow within my chest and sink slowly into my stomach. I frowned. I hated Anjali. Even on my wedding day she somehow managed to worm through and ruin my mood. Once upon a time, I respected her and loved her more than myself.
But after everything she did, after ruining our family, I didn't think I could ever see her the same way I once did.
***
Everyone stood up in the church and turned toward me. My grip in the crook of my dad's elbow tightened and the veil over my face moved back and forth with the intensity of my hyperventilation.
Through the netted veil covering my sight, I tried to make out the figure of Varun standing at the front. My stomach knotted to find that he wasn't there. Wasn't the groom supposed to be there first? Where was he? Was he standing somewhere I couldn't see?
My stomach tight, and my dad walked me down the aisle as the music began to play. There were whispers and murmurs and I turned my head left and right when my hand was squeezed.
"Relax," whispered dad. "Varun called to let us know that he was running a little late."
My shoulders slumped. Thank God. For a second I thought I was going to be like those brides you'd see in the movies, alone and left at the altar. It wasn't a very conventional wedding, apparently, since dad had no one to hand me off to. So he left me standing in front of the priest and took his seat like he was told.
Now I was the only one up there, my row of bridesmaids on the left and the groomsmen on the right. All of whom were staring right at me.
A 'little' late quickly turned into a 'lot' late. I shared a frantic glance with Jade on the very end who was pale as she frequently looked over her shoulder and at the church doors. She looked back at me, lips pursed as she shook her head.
The choir music abruptly ended as the whispers took over, the stares piercing through the back of my head. My grip on the bouquet tightened, the flowers trembling in my grasp. Even the priest shifted on his feet, giving my parents a very pointed look. I could read that anywhere, and the same question that was running through my head:
Where was the groom?
It didn't take long for my question to get answered. Someone sitting near the front of the pews—Varun's friend, I recognised—came forward to whisper something to my parents who were now standing around, looking like they were about to cry.
I tried not to look at mum, knowing that if I saw any tears there then I would be doing the same.
All of a sudden, an outcry startled me and everyone around turned to look. My dad's face was red and twisted like a prune. His fists were clenched, but the way both he and Varun's friend turned to me, made my chest tighten. I knew what was going on. I knew it before when dad told me to relax and I knew it now.
I wanted to know anyway. Pulling the veil back and away from my face, I moved toward them. "What's going on?" I hissed. I didn't care that there were people still standing around watching. Others had left long ago, leaving some of the pews empty. How long were they standing here, waiting for Varun?
"Arshia—"
"Dad. I need to know." I turned to Varun's friend who swallowed thickly. His hand trembled as he handed me his phone.
"What is that?" I heard my mum ask my dad. "What's going on?"
It was a recording of something. My hand was damp and quaking. It was hard to hold onto the phone without thinking I was going to drop it any second. Any doubt or concern for that was gone when my finger found the courage to tap the play button.
And my heart dropped.