Chapter 66
My mornings have never felt like this – calm and light as I wake to the most gorgeous set of eyes staring at me. In this light, they look like the ocean under the midday sun, and the shade of the palm trees were his long dark lashes. His smile curved to the side as he played with a few strands of my hair, "Good morning."
I smiled back, unable to control it, "Good morning."
"God, are you real?"
I chuckled, "What?" my hand accidentally ran down his stomach.
He lolled his head back and grinned, "Don't start what you can't finish, Grant."
I shoved his chest and buried my face on his side, "Come on, you're embarrassing me."
He continued playing with my hair, "How can you be embarrassed after last night?"
"Stop!" I groaned. He just laughed. I rose my head to meet his eyes, "Any breakfast suggestions?"
"I have a few."
"Hm?"
"But I don't think it would fill up your tummy." I grimaced at him. "Or would it?"
I grabbed a pillow next to me and hit his head. His laughter echoed throughout the room.
"So..." he propped himself up.
"What?"
"I've heard you had a little crush on me."
I covered my face with the sheets, muffling my voice, "I knew I'll never hear the end of this."
"It's cute." He kissed the top of my head. "Did you really have posters though?"
"Oh my God!" I screamed with my face still buried in the pillow. His laugh was full and it swells my heart despite being embarrassed.
"Wait, was that why you wouldn't let me in your room?"
"I refuse to answer that." I turned to get out of the bed, but he grabbed me by the wrist and faced me toward him. He smiled then kissed the pulse beneath my ear and whispered, "Don't be ashamed. I love it." Then he peppered kisses down my neck and up my cheeks, but before he landed on my lips, I stopped him, "I haven't brushed my teeth yet."
Then he kissed me square in the mouth, "I don't care." His kiss deepened and I kissed him back with equal fervor. He broke away and rested his forehead on mine. I could feel his chest rise and fall to catch his breath.
"Friends don't kiss each other like this," I whispered, still a little out of breath.
"I think it's established that we aren't just friends," he kissed me again.
I chuckled against his lips, "Are you saying that we're like lovers now?"
"Your words not mine." He grinned. "And no takebacks, lover."
I pulled away before he could kiss me again and wrapped the white sheet around me as I got off the bed, "I'm gonna go shower."
"Mind if I join?"
I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, giving him a playful glare. He caught the pillow and chuckled deeply, "Go before I stop you."
* * *
Now I understand why Hailey and Josh couldn't keep their hands off of each other because now Axel and I were doing the same. His hand was intertwined with mine as I was driving to breakfast with only one hand on the steering wheel.
"You're so hot when you drive," he said suddenly, catching me off-guard.
"I'm sorry?"
"I don't think I've told you that before."
My words caught up in my throat, "Well, isn't this the first time I'm driving you around?"
"No. The first time was when you drove me to the hospital."
I glanced at him briefly, "You thought I was hot while your throat was closing up?"
"You make it sound so bad."
"Wasn't it? I was so worried that night."
"Okay," he exhaled. "This wasn't how this conversation panned out in my head."
"How did you think it would go?"
"That you'll stop the car in a shoulder and let me kiss you senseless?"
I felt my face heat up. He shouldn't say things like that, especially when I'm driving. His words are a traffic hazard.
I continued driving, trying to keep the car steady with just one hand on the wheel. I kept my focus on the road and said, "Any more allergies I should know about?"
A hearty laugh came out deep in his chest, "This is how you want to play, I see." He cleared his throat and adjusted from his seat, "No, I don't have any more allergies apart from the mushrooms. Oh, wait, I forgot one more thing,"
"What?"
"That I don't care if your kiss has the same effect of mushrooms on me."
"What?" I exclaimed, amused.
"If I were allergic to you, I'd just have to be drugged for life. There's no other option."
I laughed, "Great, now I'm an allergy."
He kissed my knuckles and his lips lingered on them before releasing. "You know I'd do it all over again if it means we get to end up here – with me being able to kiss you whenever I want."
"Damn, I didn't know you were cheesy."
"It's your fault. You made me this way." I rolled my eyes and he laughed, "How'd you get this car anyway? Wasn't it hard to rent on short notice? And on Black Friday?"
"I have a few tricks up my sleeve," I called Josh while Axel was in the shower. I told him to get me a car and have it delivered to the hotel. It was the least he could do after everything we've done for his proposal. "Here we are," I slowed to park the car in front of Celia's Café. I turned the engine off and said, "You know, Hailey and I used to study here a lot in High School." I got out of the car and continued, "We may not look like it, but we were a bunch of nerds who cared about our grades."
"Hey," He shut his car door, "caring about your grades doesn't make you a nerd."
"Did you care about yours?"
He stopped and smiled sheepishly. I laughed linking my arm to his, "That's what I thought."
When we got inside, I had to check if I got the place right because it looked so different from what I'd known it to be.
"Hi," I approached the counter. "This is Celia's Café, right?"
"Yes," he smiled politely. "We've just undergone a major renovation a few months ago."
"Yeah," I nodded observing the place. "Everything has changed."
"Except for me," a pudgy elderly man in his seventy's appeared on the right.
"Bobby!" I ran to him and he welcomed me in with a hug.
"It's been a long time since I've seen you, Laurie. How have you been?"
"I'm great, how about you? Lola hadn't told me you renovated the place."
"Well, I told her not to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise to our former regulars." He glanced to see who was behind me. "You aren't Hailey."
"No, I'm not, Sir," Axel came forward and shook his hand. "I'm Axel, Lauren's boyfriend."
I froze for a second. I know I should be used to him calling himself my boyfriend, but this is the first time it was actually true.
Bobby nodded as their hands parted but his brows knitted together as he stared at Axel, "Have you been here before?"
"I haven't, Sir. It's my first time here."
"Huh. Are you sure? Because you look familiar."
Axel smiled, "I get that a lot, but no, I haven't been here before."
"Alright," Bobby let it go.
"Axel," I started. "This is Bobby. He's a family friend."
"Her grandfather and I served in the Navy together."
"Oh. Thank you for your service."
Bobby nodded and I continued, "Bobby owns the place. Celia was his wife."
"My Celia passed away five years ago," he smiled sadly. "But her legacy lives on in this café. You know, she would've been thrilled to meet you. You're the first guy our Laurie has brought here."
My eyes widen, "Alright, Bobby," I patted his arm. "Let's not inflate this guy's head."
Bobby chuckled, "Always funny, Laurie. Why don't you go ahead and order? It's on me."
"Oh, no, please, it's alright," I spoke. "Business is business. We'll pay."
"You mean, he'll pay?" Bobby asked.
"I'll pay," Axel smiled.
Bobby laughed heartily, "I like him. You better treat our Laurie right, young man."
"I fully intend to, Sir."
Before their conversation could go any deeper, I pointed at the booth Hailey and I used to study all the time and we sat there after ordering a few of their bestsellers.
"This is amazing," he nodded as he chewed on the blueberry pancake. "You know everything feels better since I woke up this morning."
"Uh-huh?"
"I mean," he placed his cutlery down the plate and lowered his head. "Nothing beats waking up next to you so, that's out of the question," he smiled looking back up at me. "But right now, it feels like I'm elated like I've gained a few new tastebuds, and" he sniffed, "I mean even the air smells fresher."
"I wanna say you're experiencing the Lauren Grant effect, but it's probably just the pancake," I laughed. "They serve the best pancakes here."
He leaned in and kissed me quickly, "Nah," he smirked pulling away. "It's definitely the Lauren Grant effect." He grinned from ear to ear plopping his head down the heel of his palm.
I shook my head at how ridiculous he was being but I can't help my smile.
"So, what's the plan now?" he asked. "This changes everything," he stared at me with hopeful eyes. "Right?"
I smiled placing my hand on his cheek, "Of course. We don't have to tell our families, but I guess we have to tell Hailey."
He exhaled slumping in his seat. "You're right. She has to know. Josh set it up, they should not have secrets from each other. Especially now that they're engaged."
"You took the words right out of my mouth."
"How are we gonna tell her though?"
Then it came to me like it was the simplest, most obvious yet devious way to explain something, "I have just the idea." I picked out the phone from my pocket and dialed Hailey's number.
Axel straightened in his seat, "You're gonna call her now?"
"Shush," I brought a finger to my lips.
He slid into the seat next to me and pressed his ear to my phone. A few more rings until she picked it up.
"Hi, Hales!"
"What's up, Laure? Why are you calling so early?"
"I just wanted to tell you that Axel and I were pretending to be together for the past few weeks so you would be distracted enough not to be suspicious about Josh's proposal. But everything's changed somehow and now we're actually together. You can thank Josh for that but don't blame him, he meant well. Oh, and we're not gonna tell our families that we were fake and now real so if you and Josh could be so kind to keep it to yourselves, that'll be awesome. I'll turn off my phone for the rest of the day, so if you need me, don't worry we'll just be around town. Yeah, I guess that's all, and good morning. Bye, Hales!" I quickly ended the call, not giving her even the slightest opportunity to say anything.
I placed the phone face-down on the table and sipped on my coffee. I noticed that Axel has been quiet the entire time and when I glanced at him, I saw how stunned he was. "Axel?"
He blinked back to reality and exhaled loudly. His lips curve into an impressed smile, "You're awesome," he said then kissed me like he meant it.
"Hey," I pulled away, shoving his chest playfully. "People might see."
He kissed me again and I can feel the smile on his lips, "Let them see. I don't care."
* * *
I toured him around my hometown and he was amazed by the huge number of trees we have in the city. "So unlike New York," he said.
"Yeah," I replied. "It is peaceful alright, but, you know what? I like the hustle and bustle of New York. At least for this part in my life."
"I get it," he nodded. "But this is really nice." He took my hand as we walked down the park.
I glanced at our connected hands and smiled at him, "Yes, it is."
Some kids whooshed past us in their bikes and I stumbled getting out of the way, good thing Axel caught me. "Watch it!" he yelled.
"Sorry!" the kids replied, their voices waning as they rode farther.
"Hey, it's okay," I said as I can still see the rage in his eyes.
"Are you sure you're okay?" his voice softened cupping my face.
"Yes. Now stop being overprotective. You know what, that gave me an idea. Let's get my dad's bikes tomorrow and ride."
He became awfully quiet and stiff. "Hey," I said. "Did I say something wrong?"
He stopped and faced me, exhaling deeply, "I don't know why I'm saying this because I'll just be embarrassing myself but," he blinked. "I don't know how to ride a bike."
"What?"
"No one taught me and I never bothered to learn so, I don't know how to."
"Oh," I said. "Well, that's alright. I'll teach you."
He blinked, surprised, "You will?"
"Sure! Tomorrow morning."
He smiled like a kid who was told he'd get the bike he'd always wanted for Christmas.
For the rest of the day, I've shown him all the other places I liked going to as a kid – the school I went to, the playground Hailey and I used to scrape our knees in, and the pizza house Dad used to take me and Noelle whenever we have good grades. Then we stopped at the museum. I figured since he had shown me the Met Cloisters, I'd show him the NC Museum of History. It was fun, he took a lot of pictures as he always does. And when we walked past the shops downtown, he saw a stuffed unicorn and bought it for Xan because it reminded him of her. It was so cute of him to think of my niece and buy her stuff. They've developed a connection from this past week, I could tell.
We decided to drive to Noelle's to drop off Xan's unicorn before going to dinner. And since this was my turf, I called the shots where we were having dinner.
"C'mon tell me. Is it a grill? A steakhouse? A seafood restaurant?" he's got one hand on the steering wheel as he kept on glancing at me, waiting for an answer.
"It's a surprise. Don't be stubborn," I angled his face to look at the road. "Just follow the GPS and keep driving."
Then he glanced at me briefly again, teasing.
I shook my head with a smile on my face, "Stop."
He smiled and kissed my hand again.
Today feels out-worldly and bizarre. But in a good way. If someone had told me that this would happen not even twenty-four hours ago, I would say "that's ridiculous". But now, I'm starting to realize that life is ridiculous because you never know what happens next. And in itself, there's some sort of beauty in not knowing the vast uncertainty of the future. We all know that it can either prison you or free you, and there's no in-between. So, from now on, I'd like to believe that I choose to be free, that I will embrace the unknown and revel in the wonderful gaiety and chaos life brings.
"Here we are," he stopped in front of Noelle's house.
"Wait," I noticed the cars parked in front of us. "I think they have people over."
Axel stopped in the middle of picking the unicorn from the backseat, "Should we just go tomorrow then?"
"No, don't be silly. This is great."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah! We can drop this off as quick as that." I snapped my fingers.
His eyes lit up as he smiled, "Alright then." He grabbed the unicorn, "Let's get this to Miss Eloise."
I chuckled getting out of the car. Axel moved next to me as we walked toward the house.
"Wait, isn't that your dad's car?"
I followed his gaze and saw the familiar blue of my dad's car. "Why, it is." I raised a brow then shook my head, "Just when I thought we'd get out in a breeze."
He laughed, squeezing me by the shoulder, "It's alright, I love talking to your family."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. They don't embarrass you like they do me all the time."
"They do not embarrass you."
"Oh, really? Then what's dinner last night?"
"Turkey?"
"Har har, very funny."
He laughed and then pressed on the doorbell. Harry opened the door, stunned at the sight of me, "What are you doing here?"
"Well, hello to you too. Don't look so shocked, Harry, we're just going to drop something off for Xan." I nudged him out of the way and called out, "Hey, Miss Eloise? We've got something–" stopped midsentence when I saw the congregation in the living room.
"Laurie?" Noelle was shocked to see me. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with tears.
"Noelle," I rushed to her. "What happened?" then I saw the people in the living room – our parents and-
"Mom?" Axel's mouth parted in shock. "What are you doing here?"
No one spoke. I stared, confused at the scene before me. They were sitting in the living room, in the middle of what looked like a serious conversation.
He looked at his dad, "I thought you were in Cabo."
"What's going on?" I asked warily.
"Lauren, why don't we get that unicorn to Xan?" Harry spoke.
"Not until I know what's happening."
Harry wet his lips then looked at Noelle.
"Mom, Dad," Axel repeated. "What are you doing here?" They didn't speak but somehow they communicated with him in some way because Axel said, "No way." He shook his head in disbelief, "There's no way. No fucking way."
"Language," Axel's dad said.
"Axel, what's going on?" I asked, starting to feel the panic rise from within.
"You're lecturing me about my language now? Really?" He seemed to let it go, understanding that his dad might have said it out of habit. "Mom," his voice pleaded. "No, not this one. Please."
She didn't answer but Axel pressed on. "Mom?" his voice unexpectedly stern, then it suddenly softened, "Please," he shook his head.
"Nothing is for sure," Beth answered. "We still have to do the tests."
His shoulders fell and his face sunken, "No."
Goosebumps spread all over my body. My gaze went from Noelle to Beth then back to Noelle then again to Beth. Similar eyes. Then Axel's voice rang in my head like an echo talking about how his Mom got knocked up at seventeen and gave her child up for adoption. Fuck no. "No, that's impossible." my legs are jelly but I stood my ground. "Right, Mom?" She didn't say anything. "Dad?"
No one was answering and it was getting on my nerves. "Just say that they are wrong," I commanded. "Just say that there's nothing to test because there's nothing to prove. Noelle is not adopted." They only looked down. "Mom," I demanded.
"Laurie," was all my Mom had to say to make it real.
"No, this can't be. This isn't happening." I shook my head, "No." Then faced her, "How can you do this?" I asked. "How can you keep this from her? How can you keep this from us?" Silence. Cold deafening silence. "All this time, everyone in the family knew but us?"
"Honey," she took a step towards me.
"No," I held one finger up and she stopped. I ran my fingers through my scalp.
"Hey," I heard Noelle sniff as she gently rubbed my shoulder. "It's okay."
"No, it's not okay, they-"
"I knew."
My mouth fell slack moving away from her touch, "You knew?"
"Yes."
"Since when?"
"Since I was eight," she paused. "Since Mom got pregnant with you."
"Honey," Dad moved closer to Noelle and blinked rapidly finding the right words to say. "How did you know?"
"I overheard you talking to Grandad and Lola in the kitchen one morning. You probably thought I was still asleep. I remember that Grandad said it was impossible; Mom couldn't be pregnant because she had some condition that I can't remember. And then Lola said adopting me was the best thing you've done but they were glad for another addition to the family."
She turned to me and smiled, "And that was you. I love you, Laurie. With all my heart. Since day one. I could never hate you, not even at that moment. I just can't. I remember running to Harry's house that day. I was crying and he consoled me. And for an eight-year-old, I'd say he was pretty mature," she chuckled and smiled at her husband. "He said I was lucky to be here, lucky to be with a very loving family, and lucky to have a sibling on the way." Harry smiled at Noelle, trying to give her strength even from a distance. "I remember how we got on our knees and prayed to God that the baby would be happy, healthy, beautiful, and smart. And how I also asked for it to be a girl. I'm glad our prayers were answered."
Not a single dry eye in the room and Mom was practically sobbing.
"I am very grateful for everything. If anything, that happy incident, with me accidentally knowing, was kind of a blessing because it taught me not to take anything for granted. It taught me to be appreciative of my family."
"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Mom asked.
"I don't know," she admitted. "I never really thought about it. Maybe because I was scared? That everything would be different? That you would treat me differently if you knew that I knew?"
"Honey," Mom hugged Noelle. "That would never happen. You are my daughter. I never thought otherwise. And you will always be."
My mom motioned for me to join in on the hug, but all my feet did was step back. How can they hide this big secret from us when all they preached, growing up, was being honest and kind? Nothing about this is honest and kind, not for the entirety of my life. All I knew turned out to be a huge lie. What else were they lying about? They were my heroes. They taught me that being good and truthful was the only way to live a fulfilled life. I thought whatever shit people threw my way, with all the betrayal I've experienced, I would be okay because I have my family to fall back on. My solid foundation. One I could always trust and rely on. What a bunch of hypocrites.
"Laurie?" Mom asked as I continued to move away.
"No," I said shaking my head.
"Laurie," Dad spoke.
"I can't. I just, I can't." I tried to even my voice, "I know this isn't about me, but you lied. To us. Our entire lives. So please forgive me if I can't forgive you in a snap, okay?" I headed towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Noelle asked.
"Anywhere but here."
"I'm going with you," Axel spoke.
"Not now." I turned to him and saw his mom behind his shoulder. My God, it was like it was just now that it dawned on me. My boyfriend's sister is my sister. How can that be? How can I live with that? I ran outside heading towards the rental car.
"Lauren!" Axel called behind me but I ignored him until he caught my wrist forcing me to turn to him. One look at his face and it felt like the world has fell on me. "Baby, don't leave," he said. "We can get through this."
"You're my sister's brother, Axel! Don't you get that?"
"I know, but we're still not sure. We've been in this position before. It can be wrong. All of them turned out to be wrong. Who's to say this time it's right?"
"You've been in this position before. I haven't. Tell me," I dared. "Being in this position before, what do you think the chances are?" He didn't speak. I continued, "I knew there was something familiar about your mother the first time I saw her, I just didn't know what it was. But tonight, I saw it. Beth and Noelle have the same eyes. Can you say that for all the other girls you thought were your sister?"
He looked down, crestfallen, "No."
"See." My voice broke and my cheeks felt wet. I didn't even know I was crying. I wiped the tears away immediately, hating the fact that just when things were getting good, something gets in the way. "I gotta go."
"Don't run," he spoke. "Let me come with you and we'll face this. Together."
I stared at him, both drained and overwhelmed with emotions. "I'm sorry," I said. "I just need to be alone right now." I got into the car and drove away. He watched me distance myself from everyone as I watched him get smaller and smaller in the side mirror getting further away from me; or rather, me away from him.
I knew what I did wasn't the best; that with the gravity of the situation, this was the defining moment, the decision could make us or break us, the action that would be the center of the web of infinite possibilities. And I escaped. Despite better judgment, despite knowing the consequences, I escaped.
And it wasn't like me to act this way, but I didn't know how else I was supposed to react. I wish I could be the bigger person. Truly. Someone who is not easily overcome by emotion but I simply can't help it. All I know is that from here on, I would always ponder on the road not taken. The multitude of what-ifs. What if I hadn't driven away? What if I had let him come with me? We'd be miserable but we'd be together. Would that be enough? Would any of these actions be better than my current decision? I would never know.
I drove and drove until I found an old pub outside of town. Eyes were on me as I entered the pub. A few old men you could count by hand – not a single girl in sight – drinking through the night; miserable just like me. This is perfect. The place was quiet, apart from the usual sound of glasses hitting the wood and the faint volume of the TV hanging from the ceiling playing commercials.
I sat by the bar like a real drunkard and requested to keep my glass full drink after drink. The bartender tried to engage in small talk, probably fascinated that a girl has graced their presence tonight, but I gave him answers that were so dry, that he got bored and moved on to the next customer.
I watched the drink swirl in the glass after rotating it then downed its contents – sharp and stinging down my throat just as it should. I laughed to myself at the irony. Alcohol's now the only one I can trust to do what it's supposed to do.
I put the empty glass down and glanced up at the TV as I wait for the refill when I saw the news flashing a photo of Katie Swanson. It was like a bucket of ice was washed over me, sobering me up. My palm pushed down the table as I asked, "Can you turn the volume up a bit please?" The bartender groaned but obliged. The volume rose with his every click on the remote.
"Just in for a post-thanksgiving surprise, actress and supermodel, Katie Swanson released her first ever single 'Run To You' and it is taking the world by storm. Honestly, is there anything this girl can't do?
The young actress has also released a music video to celebrate her debut in the music industry, featuring Dean Harvey, an up-and-coming model from the UK, that had the girls asking 'Who is he?'. I mean look at that face!" a clip of her and Dean together flashed on the screen. "That warm gaze and that sweet smile were enough to cause a divide over the Katxel fans on Twitter.
@katie4lyf said, 'Katxel forever! Axel should've been the leading man in #RunToYou. This song is clearly about him and how they always find their way back to each other. #RunToYouMV #Katxel'
And @axelsp0tat0_ tweeted, 'A talented kween! Congratulations, @Katie_Swanson. You killed it! Though it would've been nice to see Axel as her leading man in the MV, it was still so good. Somebody please tell me the name of the guy!! He was so 🔥🔥🔥. #RunToYou #RunToYouMV'
Earlier today, Swanson was seen outside of the courthouse to issue a copyright claim over a photo released by MGC Models. That's right. The same agency her ex-boyfriend, Axel James, has moved to a few months ago. Although we're still not sure about the extent of this litigation, it certainly is something to keep an eye out for."
The lady continued reporting showbiz updates, but her voice became background noise as I stared at the screen, trying to wrap my head around the news.
Katie has made the litigation public knowledge, Dean wasn't lying when he told me he was just working with Katie, and I was a complete idiot for letting this happen.
How did I not see this coming? Of course, the devil worked hard when I was preoccupied. How could she pass up such a great opportunity? While I, on the other hand, was so lost in my own shit that I forgot that this litigation wasn't just about me. It was also about the livelihood of everyone working at MGC. This was all my fault. I could've prevented this by leaving the company just like Katie wanted, but I was so selfish, that I did nothing.
I paid the bartender my bill and left him a tip. He must have been so confused as to why I reacted the way I did with such menial news, but I was too much in my head to even care. I went out and sat on the hood of the car, looking out the cityscape, and thought to myself, how can this all happen in one day? Have I been so bad all my life that this all happened to me today?
My tears fell, and the bright lights of the city became blurred. I bawled my eyes out and broke down in silence, wrapping my arms around myself in a futile attempt to hold it together like trying to put back a broken piece of glass.
I was tired: physically, mentally, and emotionally. It felt like my body could shut down at any time to force some rest, but I can't afford that. I have to push through. Everything has gone too far and I have to fix it.