From the beginning until the end, what Charlene wanted was a simple but perfect family life.
She knew that what she wanted was now the part of her past as she stared at the old picture. The old family photo of her being a mother along with her husband and their children.
She knew that they were an unhappy family. Anyone could tell that just by looking at their family photo.
She knew how her own children thought of her. They thought of her as a cold- hearted mother who cared for money and reputation, just like their father.
Charlene sat on the bed, too distracted in the past, memories and thoughts. Just a family photo could remind her of so many things, things that she regretted and things that made her felt that she was living her life vainly.
Death or not, perhaps no one would care about her.
Born in a wealthy family, she wished that life could remain the same. She once had a happy childhood and she enjoyed the center and love around her. But as she grew up, knowing that her parents were using her to ensure that their family won't fall and forced her to agree on a marriage that she never wanted, she tried her best to make sure that everything would go on her desire.
From the past until the present, what Charlene wanted was a good family life.
'When I first agreed to this kind of marriage, I thought that I could at least adapt myself. Maybe we could start it slow. Though we hate each other a lot, at least, for the sake of the children we'll be having, he won't cross the line.'
She frowned as she closed the face of her husband. If there was someone who she hated the most, then it would be her husband. And aside from her husband, she hated both of her parents who didn't respect her wish and opinion on her own marriage life.
'Why did I agree on the first place? Why did I have to behave as a good girl? If I was just as stubborn and naughty as the children--'
She couldn't continue her thoughts. Her rage was replaced with regrets. If there were the people who she felt sorry the most, then they would be her own children.
'Just like a flower trapped in a mud, I was trapped in confusion. I was so foolish.'
She looked at the photo of her children. Now that she thought of it, they were quite adorable. The boy, Altaira, was quite handsome. And the younger one, was quite adorable.
'I know that I was cheated. I know that he had an illegitimate child outside. I know that despite all the bad things he had done to me, my parents would still convince me to stay in this cursed house. But...... no matter how much I hated them, I shouldn't have blamed them on the two of them... just because they resemble him slightly.'
She owed the two of them the most. And right now, what made her smile sadly was the fact that she realized that she was wrong when the two of them died.
'What people said are right. You won't regret things until you are too late.'
In the cursed mansion, she was all alone. She let out a soft sigh and looked at the ceiling.
'All he cares is about money. And in order to ensure that he'll gain more and more, he makes himself busier and busier. But when he dies, what could the money he earned do for him? At the end, he still passed away because of illness while my parents died out of old age.'
'Thinking about it, I always hated them ever since this marriage. But now looking back at the past, the hate seems to be unnecessary. Sooner or later, humans will die either way.'
She put the old photo on her lap and closed it. Right now, she felt very calm, like nothing could make her panic or in rage. It was as if that the years trapped in rage and hatred had completely exhausted her, and her heart has died out from the emotions that she felt for these years. Or perhaps she had grown- up and understood something, her heart had found peace.
She softly sighed again.
"If they ever return to my side... will they ever forgive me?"
Charlene waited for a moment while looking at the ceiling. Her children may not be aware of it, but compared to her ignorant husband, she was more attentive than what they thought. She knew their favorite foods and drinks, knew their favorite games, knew their weaknesses and strengths and knew their personalities. It was truly a shame, she thought, that she had neglected them.
'They were talented children.'
If only she wasn't so hateful and prideful, maybe they would have better time. Maybe when the two of them passed away, they won't have to think that they lived a sad life without loving parents to care for them. Because one of them actually cared, but unable to express her emotions due to her wrath and pride.
She smiled and closed her eyes. She had given up with the wishful hopes.
"To who I am kidding? They would never forgive me."
She raised the family photo and looked at them again gently. Now, she really looked like a mother who was waiting for their children to return.
In the Altaira's old bed, she searched for the albums and looked at the photos. Even the nannies and the servants worked better as a parent compared to her, seeing their children smiling in the photos made her smile.
Gods given them time. But she never cherished it. And now that the time was taken away, she was left to regret, dream, pray and imagine. The time won't be reversed anymore just for her. Just for one prideful, hateful and a self- centered human with short lifespan.
'I pray that in your next lives, may the two of you find a better mother than me. The two of you must be together, since you take care and love each other very much,' she pulled the old photo to her chest, hugging it. 'Only when the two of you are around each other could I be assured.'
When her eyes were closed, she could feel clearly that a drop of tear fell from her eye. Really, no matter how much time had passed, regret still felt heavy. It weighted on her chest and it was a punishment for her. And she accepted willingly. And maybe because she accepted the regret and loneliness as her punishments willingly that they felt lighter than they were supposed to be.
Her name was Charlene Everest, and from the present until the future, she would continue to live in eternal regrets and loneliness.
And she had resigned to her fate.
--
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!"
7th July. It was a joyous days for two people; a tiny but chaotic alligator and a lazy but obsessed regular.
7th July was not the day of his birth in his first life. In his first life, Altaira was born in 28th February and being a good friend Bam was, he asked right in front of his face,
"Why he was not born in 29th July?"
One of the birthday boys could only swallow the anger and maintain his smile.
"You are really concerned about me, aren't you?"
"29 is a good number, right?"
He swore that he will get him back one day. And that day would be right on his birthday.
Birthday party was supposed to be lively and chaotic indeed. And with the alligator, Rak Wraithraiser, and the human, Khun Altaira Rain, as the main characters, it should have been even more chaotic and crazy. But in the middle of the party, Celeste realized that her man had gone missing.
She looked for him and found him staring at the night sky with a small smile.
"... you're here," she spoke.
He was so beautiful in her eyes. Whenever she said this to Charlotte, she would just laugh and said that it was because she was madly in love with her brother. And Celeste thought it was right, considering how she couldn't even forget Khun Aguero Agnis even after being tormented 7 years in FUG. The way he was looking at the night sky made out of shinsu in peacefulness and calmness made her blush slightly. He was so beautiful.
Unlike the inside of the building which was noisy, filled with the arguments and competitions between Khun Aguero Agnis and Rak, with Charlotte throwing the fuel to the fire and Bam trying to put the fire out, the outside of the building was too quiet. No one would pay attention at the two of them.
He heard her voice loud and clear. The calm voice distracted him from his thoughts and he looked at Celeste,
"Why are you here?"
"I should have been the one who is asking," she said. "You are the main character and this is your birthday party. Aren't you supposed to be happy?"
"I'm happy," he admitted.
"... my mistakes. It should have been, 'aren't you supposed to be inside and partying with the others'?" She corrected.
He maintained his smile and glanced inside before looking at Celeste again who was waiting for his answer.
"They are too chaotic," he answered. "To be honest, I expected myself could be chaotic enough to stay inside longer but it seems like I lost."
He had an awkward smile on his face and Celeste had a small smile because of his honest words and expression.
"So, I'm here to get some fresh air."
"They are indeed quite noisy," Celeste agreed with him. "Raisin had retreated first due to his injury on the face."
"Who would have known that Estrella's little gift for him today is a punch? It was quite a surprise."
"And it wasn't even Raisin's birthday yet. Imagine what she'll do when his birthday comes."
"I'm opening her gift the last. Trust me. And right when no one is around."
"Charlotte and Khun said that they couldn't help with the party, but actually, they are one of the top- contributors."
"They cheap lies and acts won't work on me," Altaira said. "But I really thank them for going as far as preparing my birthday."
Celeste just smiled. Both her silver eyes were locked at the sight of this blue- haired man.
"And I also have to thank you. You must be the one who propose the idea, right?"
"Why do you think it's me?"
"Just a feeling," Altaira answered. "Both Charlotte and Khun know that I don't really care about celebrating my birthday."
"Do you ever celebrate birthday?"
He nodded his head as he thought of the past. Of course, he celebrated his birthday not as Altaira Everest, but as Khun Altaira Rain. It was just sad that his family in this cruel tower was way nicer than back then in the cold mansion.
"And the others can't seem to care about it, especially Bam, Noah and Raisin. Those three would be the happiest one to know that I get myself a misfortune," he added with a mocking smile. Of course, he mocked the three of them. "But I'm confident with my luck and trusted that they can't kill me."
"You have Charlotte."
"And you."
"Right."
She laughed. Sometimes Altaira was just capable to say and did some embarrassing things without feeling embarrassed at all. She wasn't really someone who enjoyed the accompany of a chaotic person, but he was an exception for her.
When she had made up her mind to trust someone, she would trust that person whole- heartedly. Traveling alone in the dangerous tower with her brother had given her the chance to see many people, especially the type of people who didn't hesitate to abandon their friends in the face of danger and death.
He had proven to her that he was worthy of her trust, worthy of her love. She had already promised, that she would only give her trust to those who she found worthy. And those who were not worth of her loyalty will be nothing but strangers in both her eyes and heart.
For her, he was worthy of everything she had.
"... I heard that you... have a trouble with your parents in your first life."
Altaira paused when he heard that. Whenever he remembered about the two people who he hated the most in his former life, then his mood would definitely drop. Parents were supposed to teach children and give them affection they needed, but from his own parents, he learnt a poisonous feeling called "hatred".
"... why do you suddenly talk about that?" He asked, trying to make sure that he looked like he was unbothered with it. He didn't want to make the mood worse by showing his hatred and unhappiness with Celeste suddenly mentioned their existences.
"... I... know that you don't like to talk about them. But there is just something that I'm curious about," she carefully spoke.
"What is it?"
"... if you ever meet them again, would you ever try to forgive them?" She asked.
Altaira thought about this question carefully. He turned his head around and looked at the night sky. He knew why Celeste was asking this question. At the end, the two of them still shared some similarities.
"I would never forgive them," he declared. "I don't give a damn of what they have been through or the reasons why they behaved like trashes. I just know that when I see them, we don't have anything to do with each other."
"... you really hate them that bad, huh?" She asked with a fake smile.
"Celeste, you are not forced to forgive anyone who hurts you," Altaira said and looked at her solemnly. "Remember. If you hate someone, then hate him badly. If you want to beat someone up, then beat him. No one has the right to force you to do things that you hate."
"If there is...?"
"If someone is trying to force you, hurt you, then I'll definitely make sure they pay for it."
Celeste did not say a word.
The wind of the night was blowing her whitish silver color. Those eyes were looking at his dark blue eyes. He once promised her that no matter what, he would stand on her side. She was someone who he tried to hard to reach, he would not let her go no matter what.
"... Altaira, you put so much trust on me," she spoke. "You never hide anything from me. You always tried to fulfill my expectations and desires. But has it ever occurred to you that one day, I might betray you? I'm not as angelic as I look like."
"........ if you want to hear my honest opinion, then it's not like I never thought about that. But you have to remember, Celeste, you are someone who I put a lot of effort to obtain the right to stand by your side. Certainly, if you betray me, then I would be extremely sad and disappointed. It would not be wrong to say that I would be extremely angry. Because I really hate it when someone tramples on all my effort, my sincere and genuine heart, wish, and desire."
"You would never be my son."
"Because no one deserves to be trampled by the others. My kindness should never be considered as a weakness."
"You would never be good enough."
"But....."
"Altaira."
Her soft voice that resounded in his mind, the voice of someone who he loved dearly, the person who he could sacrifice everything for.
"... yet again, you are someone I spent years pursuing, chasing. If one day you truly betrays me..."
His warm hand touched her cheek as he continued to speak. Those dark blue eyes were once covered in rage and anger, but now, they had softened. Looking at the whitish silver eyes, those eyes seemed to always found their way to appease the anger within him. Just by around this woman, he felt calmer. He felt that for once, he could just drop all the hatred, sadness, regrets that were troubling him.
Charlotte was always busy. She always cared for the others. For her new home and for the people who cherished her deeply, she could even give her own life. She was very nice to the others, to her friends, therefore, in her heart, she could not just give her heart to one person.
She trusted her allies, she trusted her friends, trusted her siblings and one day she would also give her heart to her future lover.
She was someone who could give her trust easily. In the same time, once she had it enough, she could also easily withdrew that trust.
She was someone who could give her life for the others easily. In the same time, once she had it enough, she could also easily abandon someone.
Therefore, people like Charlotte weren't supposed to be mistreated. As selfless as they were, they knew that loving themselves was also an important thing to do.
They were not dolls. They were not toys to be toyed, trampled, bullied or abandoned. They could give you one chance, second chance, or perhaps a hundred chances. But when they had enough, the once selfless and loyal comrade could turn into one of the most dangerous enemies.
They could be very warm. They could also be very cold.
Celeste was different. Since she had made up her mind to give her heart to one person who she would trust completely, then all her secrets, weaknesses, strengths and sacrifices would be directed to that one single person. But one day, just like what she said, she might also abandon him. It was not something that he never thought about.
But rather, it was something that he chose to ignore.
"Then I would chase you. I would chase you to the end of the tower and once I found you...."
"What would you do to me?"
He just smiled softly.
"Maybe I will let you go again."
"Huh?" She was confused.
In one hand, he wanted to make her repay for it. If she betrays him, then he would hunt this butterfly down and cut her wings, making her life miserable. But whenever he saw her, feeling amazed with how she was able to calm the demon within him, he knew that he won't be able to do that.
He just can't hurt the person who he cherished the most.
"Then what if one day I ever abandon you?" It was his turn to ask after he lowered his hand.
Celeste's eyes looked at him coldly suddenly.
"If you ever dare to abandon me...."
She made sure that her arms were around his neck.
"Then I would definitely find you again. I'll hunt you down and once I found you... I'll strip your freedom away."
His dark blue eyes widened.
"You what?"
"I'll take your freedom away. I'll cut your wings. I'll keep you in a place where no one else could find you. At the end, you will live according to my will. How I want you to live, what kind of life you have to went through, your fate will be in my hands."
"That doesn't sound like a punishment for me," Altaira said, pulling her into a hug. "I will repeat once I say to you. I would never betray you. I would never make you suffer. If I break my promise, then I won't say a word if you take away my freedom."
"Hmph. So we have reached an agreement?"
"Yes."
Charlotte who silently listened to her words couldn't help but to feel shocked. She turned around and looked at Noah whose expression was still normal. He looked like he had expected to hear those words.
"You are not surprised?" She asked. "Of what your innocent sister said?"
"No. She's always like that. People always misunderstand and think that I'm scarier than Celeste. But it's actually the opposite. She's crueler than what you think."
"Then..." She pointed her index finger to the lovers. "She's being serious?"
"Is your brother serious with his words?"
She nodded her head.
"Then what makes you think she lied?"
"..........."
She had always joked around and said that if Altaira betrays Celeste, then she would beat him up heartlessly. Celeste usually just smiled over her words. Little she knew that she was already thinking ways to torment Altaira if he breaks his promise.
She gulped.
"I thought brother loves the cold but kind ones. Never thought that he was pursuing a danger instead."
"He should have be prepared about it from the beginning. If he's afraid of Celeste, then how can I trust him with protecting my sister?"
"Is that an approval that I hear?"
"No. It's still ten thousand years too early for him to earn my approval."
'What a big liar you are, Noah,' Charlotte thought.
The sound of coughing distracted the two of them. When both of them looked around and see who the person was, Khun Aguero Agnis was there. With his eyes closed and arms crossed, he clearly looked displeased. A vein was popping on his head.
Charlotte felt uneasy suddenly. She felt like she was someone who was caught cuckolding someone else.
"It seems like the two of you have an interesting conversation here. Do you want me to tell Altaira what you guys are doing?" He asked with a "friendly" and "happy" smile.
"Hmph. Tell him. Let him come---"
"Ahhhhh, please don't!" Charlotte immediately walked towards him. "You see... considering that we have worked together to tease a lot of people, would you please let this one slide? The Almighty Young Master Khun?"
He just looked at her with a smirk. Charlotte's smile dropped. She knew that that smirk meant.
If she didn't give him what he wanted, he would not shut his mouth.
"What do you want this time?" She asked.
"I see that you are not completely stupid."
"I'm not that stupid. But if I keep getting flicked and hit on the head, sooner or later I'll be an idiot."
"Are you blaming me for hitting your head whenever you behaved foolishly?"
"... no."
If it wasn't because he was threatening her, how could she possibly afraid of arguing with him?
"... let me think about it first," he spoke. "For now, you owe me one wish."
"Don't you dare give me impossible requests!" She spoke and crossed her arms. "If it's impossible for me, then I'm not doing it."
"Be assured. I know your limits."
"And once this wish is over, you should promise me that you won't report to Brother Altaira about this matter!" she said and pointed her index finger at him.
His smirk grew wider as he answered, "That would depend on how you fulfill my wish later on."
"You--!!!!"
"Female Black Turtle! Female Black Turtle!"
Her words were cut off by another birthday boy who was looking for her. Charlotte thought that it would be bad if Rak sees both Altaira and Celeste were having their own moment and make a fuss about it. Rather than waiting for Rak to arrive and talk to her, it would be better if she leaves and looks for him as well.
But she can't let Khun escape.
"I'll get you one day," she threatened before she left to look for Rak, "Rak! Is there something wrong with the birthday cake?"
"How did you make this birthday cake, turtle? Make more for me!"
Khun watched Charlotte shouting and running towards Rak, discussing the special birthday cake she made for him with her own hands. He smiled.
He turned around and looked at Noah, "You're going?"
"Obviously," Noah answered.
"After all, this is the birthday we've prepared for the two of them. If we don't celebrate it together with them, who will?"