Abrianna
"Mom, can we buy Alejandro some chocolates?" I tightly hugged my pink panther plush toy. My feet dangling from the high kitchen tool while mom was busy baking cookies. I asked her to make some.
"Yes of course, Abby. But can mom ask why? I thought we are baking cookies for kuya." Mom's voice was so gentle. Whenever I hear it, it felt like I was being lulled to bed. Even when we do bad things, her voice still don't change. I once asked her why because I once saw my classmate getting scolded by her mom because he pushed his sister, and she said, "I don't need to raise my voice just to discipline you, princess. Besides, I don't want to shout at you, baby."
I really didn't understand her answer that time so I curiously stared at her. "So, the mommy wanted to shout at my classmate?" I cannot help but asked. "But that's not nice, mom."
"No mommy would want to shout at their children, Abby. But some mommies tend to raise their voice because.. well, they just see it needed."
My eyebrows furrowed. Mas lalong hindi ko siya naintindihan noon. "I don't get it, mom." I pouted at her and she lightly chuckled. "You'll soon get it when you grow up, princess."
"I will?"
She gave me a sweet smile. "Of course, baby."
"Abby.."
"Abby.." I blinked a few times when I heard my name. My little flashback instantly faded and I found myself staring at mom. She has a sweet expression painted on her face. "Why do you want us to get kuya some chocolates?" She softly asked.
I suddenly remembered again what I did to Alejandro. Shame fueled me so I hid my face using my pink panther toy. My feet swayed back and forth. I knew mom won't get mad at me if I tell her the truth but I just really felt bad just by thinking about it. I bit my lower lip.
"I.. I ate all of Alejandro's chocolate, mom." Nahihiya kong saad.
Like what I've expected, she didn't scold me. Instead, she asked to know my side story. "Oh why? Is your chocolate box empty already, princess?" I nodded and looked at her with one eye. She sat beside me and slowly caressed my hair. "Why didn't you ask daddy to buy you some instead?" Her voice was so gentle.
I bit my lower lip. "I asked father but it was already late. I really really wanted to eat chocolate that night, mom, and Alejandro's chocolates are the only ones left so I ate them all."
"You didn't ask kuya's permission?" She tucked my hair behind my ear. Mahinahon pa rin ang boses niya. There was not even a bit of anger behind it.
"No." I shook my head. "that's why he's mad at me, mom." My lips quivered a little as I remember Alejandro's face when he saw me munching all of his chocolates. He was madly glaring at me. He even said he won't play with me anymore. It hurt me big. He's my favorite playmate. I don't want to play with anyone else. I want him only.
I wanted to tell mom more but my lips were trembling big now. My eyes started to get wet also. The next thing I knew, I was hugging her while sobbing on her neck. Her arms where on my back, gently tapping me. "I ..I don't like A-Alejandro ge-getting mad at-t me, mom." Every time Alejandro and I argue, I always end up crying. I don't like it. I don't want us fighting because it's hurting me. It's breaking my heart.
"You think kuya is mad at you because you ate his chocolates without telling him?" mom softly confirmed and I nodded. My sobs were getting louder. Hinayaan niya lamang ako. It took me a few minutes to calm down. She put a distance between us afterwards. She gave me a sweet smile then dried my tears. "You feel better now, princess?" I quickly nodded and wiped my tears away using my tiny hands.
She fixed my hair, gathering them all while putting it in a high ponytail. "If you don't wanna see Alejandro mad at you, what then are going to do next time, princess?" She delicately asked. I sniffled as I realized what she wants me to learn.
"I'll..I'll tell him I want some of his chocolates before.. before getting one."
"And if he says no?" mom fired back.
"I'll ask him again and again and again until he says yes."
"What if he won't say yes even if you ask him again and again and again?" Napasimangot ako nang gayahin ni mom 'yong mga sinabi ko.
"Then, I'll ask him again and again and again and again."
"Yes princess, but what if he still won't say yes even if you asked him again and again and again and again?"
Nakasimangot akong tumingin kay mom. "Why do you keep on saying, 'what if kuya says no', mom. It's like you don't want Alejandro to share his chocolates with me." It's making me feel sad. It's like she only wants Alejandro to eat all his chocolates and not share it with Abby!
She chuckled. "Of course, I wanted him to share his food and all that he has with you, princess. Mom was just asking to know what would you do in case your kuya won't say yes. But I think I get it. You really won't take no for an answer, princess." there was an amuse grin on mom's face. "But that's right, princess, always ask someone first before getting something from them, okay?"
"Yes, mom" Then, I remembered what she said. "But what do you mean, I take won't no answer, mom?" I heard her say it.
She tapped my nose. "Take no for an answer, princess." She corrected.
"Yes, that one, mom. What does that mean?"
"It means you're makulit, princess." She pinched my cheeks and I cannot help but giggle. Then, she said something I wasn't able to properly hear because she started tickling me. "But more like persistent like her daddy!"
I giggled when mom started tickling me on my side. "S-stop mommy!"
We were both in that position when I father came in. I jumped in glee upon looking him. Mom finally stopped. "Up! Up! please!" I quickly lifted both my hands, asking father to carry me and he gladly did. He shakily swayed us both making me giggle. "How did my princess' day went?" I wasn't able to answer him because he threw me up in the air making me squeal. "Fatheer!" He just laughed after catching me. I chuckled and requested him to do it once more. "Again! Again! Again!" He always does that actually and it was always fun! I felt like my heart is leaving my body!
He shook his head. "No, baby. You're getting heavy." He flashed a grin. My eyes widen but I quickly shook my head, making him see that I totally disagree. "No, father. You're just getting old." Mom suddenly laughed and it echoed in our kitchen. He instantly gave me a knowing look before pouting. It made me giggle. He looked defeated.
I looked at mom. "Right, mom. Father is getting old?" My eyes caught father and he was pouting at mom's direction now. I didn't like it so I quickly pushed his head away. "Don't look at mom like that, father." He was acting like a baby in front of her! I should be the only one doing that! "You're not a baby anymore. You're big now." I even crossed my arms in front of him.
He held his chest. "My princess is bullying me." He was acting hurt but there was a glint of happiness on his face. I caged his face between my two little hands. "And father is bullying Abby, too." I told him. It shocked me when he suddenly laughed. What's more shocking was mom, too. I curiously stared at them. Why are they laughing? I made father looked at me. "Why are you and mom laughing, father?"
He grinned. "Nothing, princess."
I pouted. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my cheeks on his. "But you two were laughing." They both looked happy and amused. It was cute! I wanna know why so that we'll all be happy. Because happy family is... happiness!
Father kissed my cheeks. "Well, your mom and I just thought that you..."
"I?"
He smirked. "that you.. are your father's daughter."
My brows furrowed. There was a proud look on his face. I didn't get him honestly. Tinignan ko si mom and she was widely smiling. I think I'm gonna ask her instead. Maybe she'll explain better. Father's answer was not clear.
"Mom, why were you two laughing earlier?"
I heard an exaggerated gasped from gather. "I answered your question, princess but you're still asking your mom. You're hurting me, Abby." He was so dramatic so I ignored him. "Mom?" Natawa si mom ulit. I cannot help but pout. Why do they keep on laughing? I wanna know why so that I'll laugh with them, too! It's unfair that they are having a funny time while I don't.
"And now your ignoring me, why is that, princess, hmm?" I giggled when father started tickling my face using his chin. His stubbles we're ticklish. "Stop father!"
"Answer me first, princess." His chin went down my neck tickling me more. His spiky whiskers were ticklish
"Because...because I didn't get your answer, father!"
He stopped. "Really huh?" I sheepishly nodded while trying to catch my breath. I thought he'll now stop but then he continued. This time he was tickling me on my kili-kilo. My giggles now turned into cackles. "Stop! Stop! Fatheeerr!" I squealed when he playfully bit my cheek. I moved away after. "Eww." Then, I wiped my cheeks using his collar. So, dugyot.
He chuckled. "So dramatic, princess." I playfully bit his cheek too to get even but it was hard. I made face and wiped my tongue with my hands. "Eww. Your cheek isn't fluffy, father." He should have fluffy cheeks so that we would be even. It's unfair that he was the only biting my cheeks and I cannot do it to him because his were hard. I held my cheeks and felt how soft they were. Father let loud a manly laugh again before kissing my cheeks. I clung my little arms around his neck while we watch mom bake some cookies.
"How's your day, princess?" he gently asked after a few seconds. We're now both seated on one of the high stools. My little arms were still wrapped around his neck as I started sharing him what we did today. I also told him my plan to buy Alejandro some chocolates.
"You ate his, didn't you?" He stared at me suspiciously. I pouted then told him the story. He attentively listened. He would just asked sometimes to confirm something. But he was just honestly repeating what I said. Like what I just told him right now.
"So, one of your male classmates, whose name is Clarence, sat beside you and said he wanted to give you a flower and you accepted it?" That was actually my whole story. He just .. ahm shortened it! I forgot the right word for it.
"Pretty much yes."
"And where is that flower, princess? Can father see it?"
I pointed upstairs. "It's in my room. Mom helped me place it in a vase." I giggled a bit, remembering how beautiful it was.
"And why are you giggling?" father gave me a suspicious look again.
"Because the flower will live and it will not wither!" I cheerfully exclaimed.
"Are you sure it's not because a boy gave it to you?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, father. And one more thing.." I leaned on his ears. "The flower was a rose. It's my favorite." I whispered then cheekily smiled at him.
He sighed. "Okay, princess. I trust you that the main reason why you're keeping that flower is because it's a rose and not because a boy gave it."
Hindi ko nakuha ang ibig sabihin niyang sabihin. I was about to ask him when we heard a little voice. "Mom."
We all looked who it was and it was Alejandro. He was wearing his favorite gray short and striped t-shirt. He was sweaty and he's using his palm to wiped his sweat off. I hid my face and sneakily looked at him. Mom immediately went and wiped his sweats with a towel before putting it behind his back. I'm ashamed to face him even though I wanted to apologize.
Father noticed that I was hiding on his chest so he lifted my face up. He gave me a look saying I'll talk to Alejandro but I shook my head. I hid my face again and wrapped my arms on his face. I'm shy and I don't know what to say to him. But father made me looked at him again. "Go and talk to your, kuya." He softly said. "You know your kuya. He won't get mad at you for too long."
I glanced at Alejandro and he was looking at me as well. "Why are you hiding your face from me, Abby?" His voice was angry. I bit my lower lip then looked down. I played with my finger as I felt my lips trembled.
Father carried me and put me on the tiled-floor. I stood there not able to look at Alejandro. He was only asking yet I'm tearing up already. Hindi kasi siya ganon! He would immediately say 'it's okay' or 'it's fine' or 'it's not your fault' if he is already good with whatever happened. But if he asked, it only means he wasn't over yet! And that only means he's really angry or upset. I wanna cry...
I opened my mouth to say something but my lips quivered. I breathed out. "I- I'm sor-ry." My lips were trembling and my eyes were already tearing up. "I wo-won't.. I w-won;t do i-t again. I..I pro-promise."
He sighed so I looked at him. He opened his arms. "Come here, Abby."
My tears instantly fell as I quickly ran and hugged him. His little arms automatically wrapped around me. "Sshh. It's okay. I'm not mad anymore." I cried harder when I heard him say that. He really got mad. I apologized and promised him that I'll never do it again. Ayaw na ayaw kasi talaga niya na pinapakialaman 'yong mga gamit niya o ano man na pagmamay-ari niya. He wants to be asked first before anything.
"Aww look at the both of you. So adorable." I heard mom said. I pulled from my brother's hug and quickly wiped my tears away. "Family hug!" I yelled and they all laughed. Father carried Alejandro because he's heavier than I even though he wanted mom to carry him and I wanted father to carry me. But it's all right. I ended up inside my mom's warm embrace anyway.
We are that happy. We communicate and forgive and watch each other. But it all changed when I woke up one day with a terrifying news. Mom was hit by a big truck. She died while trying to help a little girl cross the street. I can't barely remember any detail about it because I was merely 12 years old that time. I was just in school that time, having my normal day, when one of our nannies came and fetched me. I thought it was because we're going for a quick out of the country trip again but I was wrong. Little did I know, that day would miserably transform our life. Father changed and from one happy family, we found ourselves broken and scattered.
--
I woke up with a heavy feeling. I tried to move myself up but pain crossed my forehead. Napasapo ako doon and I felt a dressing on the right side. Damn.
"Don't force yourself, love." A pair of strong arms circled on my back and assisted me. I don't need to look at the person to know who he was. Boses pa lang kilala ko na. He placed two pillows behind me before carefully leaning my back. "Comfortable?" He asked and caressed my arms. I nodded, not having the strength to speak. It's because my mouth felt try like a desert. Ang hirap lumunok. "Do you need anything, love?"
"W-wate..r." I hardly even able to say it properly. Buti na lang naintindihan niya. I watched as he moved to the side table and poured some on a glass. Pinanood ko lamang siyang gumalaw. He seemed calm and patient. When he came back, he tenderly wrapped his arm on my back and held the glass for me. "More?" he asked when I emptied it. Tumango ako kaya kumuha muli siya. I wanted to hold the glass this time but he refused. "Let me do it for you, love." My mind and body were still weak to argue so, I just held the bottom while I drank from it.
I'm in a hospital. That's what I'm sure of. The moment I saw the white ceiling, I knew it already. I don't know what I should feel but all I'm sure about was I was feeling heavy. The image of my mom popped in my head. My heart clenched. I survive a car accident but how I wish mom did, too.
Bigla kong naalala si Vienna. I quickly glanced at Cervantes and he was too engrossed preparing something. Is he not gonna throw a question? I honestly thought that's the first thing he'll do but instead it's all about my comfort that he kept on asking. He never mentioned anything about what happened. Gusto ko na lang tuloy tanungin na lang siya kung kamusta si Vienna pero hindi ko makuhang magsalita. Guilt consumed me as I think about it. What if I didn't pick her up? What if I didn't plan on running away again? Would things be different? I bet it would.
"Hey.." A warm hand touched my arm. I looked up only to quickly moved my face away because my nose almost touched his. How come I didn't notice him moved?! "You're spacing out, love." He softly said but my heart was erratically beating loud. Sana lang hindi niya marinig kung gaano ito kalakas.
"I- I'm sorry. I was just thinking." I even have to blink a few times para lamang makasagot sa kanya. Because we were too close that I can practically smell his mint breath and manly scent! Damn. I suddenly became conscious on how I look but then I realized that even without showering, I'm pretty sure I smell divine. I can still make man drool in captivity even without a bath.
He warmly smiled. "It's okay." Then, he showed me what he was working on earlier. "I prepared you something to eat." It was a bowl filled with grapes, blueberries, sliced bananas, apples and mangoes, some cubes of white dragon fruit, and a few slices of kiwi. They were all aesthetically combined. Lihim akong napangiti. Such effort. "I'll just fix the table." He said then adjusted the hospital food table for my convenience before placing the bowl on top. He also placed a glass of water beside it.
I glanced at him and mumbled a simple thanks. He smiled. "You're welcome." I started to dig in.
Habang kumakain, ramdam ko ang tingin ng lalaking katabi ko. Kaya naman, after munching the whole piece of a white dragon fruit, I forked another one then shoved it near him. "I know you're salivating." I smirked. An amused grin formed on his face before his heartily chuckle echoed inside the room. He shook his head before holding my hand, guiding it near his mouth before eating the fruit in one big bite. His grin was still visible. I rolled my eyes. But I know, my lips were wearing a proud grin as well.
Ganoon ang naging routine namin. Everytime na may ilalapit ako sa kanyang prutas ay kinakain niya nang walang pagaalinlangan. It was kinda fun and surreal, especially when I intentionally fed him with those that I dislike. It didn't take long before we finished everything. Akala ko nga noong una hindi ko mauubos dahil masyadong marami pero naubos ko naman pala. Well, with him of course.
"You made me eat all the mangoes." Cervantes complained while fixing the utensils. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa dahil doon. He noticed. Paano ba naman kasi hinog nga 'yong mango pero maasim naman. He didn't complain during his first bite so I intentionally continued. Malay ko ba na hindi niya rin pala gusto. Haha.
"They're sour." I pointed out. He just shook his head while a smile was painted on his face. A smile crossed my face, too. But when Vienna popped in my head again, it quickly faded. My mind reminisced everything and guilt fueled me again. I touched the part of my forehead which is dressed. I wondered, how is she? Is she wounded, too? I glanced at Cervantes. He's nearly finished in cleaning what we used. I wanted to know.
It seemed like he felt my stares because he glanced at me. "What is it, love?"
"I.." umiwas ako ng tingin. My inside was nervous just by the thought of asking. Damn.
"You?" he repeated.
"I wanted to ask.." I sighed then looked back at him. He was waiting. ".. how's .. how's Vienna?" It came out a whisper. I almost didn't recognize my voice.
He gently sighed, and I don't know what that is for. He sat in front of me. His left hand rested on my palm while his right hand made its way to my cheek. "She woke up few hours ago and other than the bruise she has on her forehead, she is perfectly fine. She was even shouting Vince earlier." There was a hint of humor in his voice but I can't find any reason to be at ease. He assuringly smiled and I felt his thumb caressing my cheek. "It was an accident and you have nothing to do about it. It wasn't your fault, okay?"
"I know." I softly whispered. I really have no issue about the accident. It's just that..
"You blame yourself because she got involved, don't you?" I looked at him when he finished what's running in my head. I weakly smiled. It's enough for him to know. Because I honestly fear that what if Vienna wasn't actually able to make it? What if something worst happened to her? I don't think I can take it. My conscience will forever hunt me.
He exhaled. "Is it because it wasn't really in your plan to fetch her? I saw your bag with your clothes in it, love. I also accidentally read the message sent by the hotel you've booked in..." It was like he caught me doing a hideous crime so, I looked away. Nahihiya akong tumingin sa kanya. Because in the first place, I know I should haven't lied to Vienna. I wish I just told her that I'm going in a hotel and not looking for a ramen. Baka naiwasan pa namin ito. Baka hindi pa sana kami umabot sa ganito. I suddenly remembered the girl that mom saved. Have these thoughts ever crossed her mind, too? Did she feel guilty or sorry? I really don't know because I never actually met her.
A strand of hair fell on my face. He tucked it behind my ear. "If you want space, I can give it to you, Abrianna. I won't get mad if you would ask for it." He was so genuine while telling it that my heart reacted wildly. I even have to stare at him long just to make sure he's really serious about it. This was the very first time we're gonna talk about space. Much more in the middle of such situation.
His face was calm and gentle that it felt like if I would ask for it right now, he'll say yes without hesitation. Would he really? I contemplated whether I should take this chance now or not but I realized, I should. It's either I'll free myself now or remain tied to him forever.
I breathe softly even though I was feeling nervous of my plan. My palms also started to become sweaty. I gathered the remaining courage in me before staring at him deeply in the eyes. "You're right. I need space, Luke." I held his hand that's resting on my cheek. "You said you would give it to me, right?"
Ang sama na nga siguro ng ugali ko because I'm actually asking him that to make sure that he'll really give me his words. So that if ever he would refuse then, I have something to use against him. Ayoko lang kasi magkaroon ng false hopes ulit. I just wanted assurance. I knew that what I'm going to ask for would be unfair on his part but this is want I want.
"Anything for you, love." Then, he caressed my cheek using his thumb.
I half smiled feeling satisfied because he agreed yet feeling guilty because I'm actually gonna use his words against him. He was truly sincere about it yet here I am with a foul plan. I knew I am being deceitful right now but I'm gonna regret it if I'll hold myself again. I wanted to break from their chains. I wanted to free myself. I wanted to breath without restraint. That's why even if it will hurt him, I knew I have to ask what I ever wanted right from the beginning.
"I want an annulment, Luke."
The atmosphere turned heavy and his hands went cold. "W-what?"
"You said you would give it to me, right?"
•••••
A/N:
For a month of being silent, here's the longest chapter i've ever written, so far haha. Trivia. Did you know that I actually finished writing this whole chapter last month??😁✌😂
Anyway, happy reading everyone. As always, keep your thoughts coming for dedication. And heads up, I might not update for weeks again hahah. So thank you for always patiently waiting. You all are the best!
Remember to be noble and rare. Always.
love,
author
~*~