A/N: Make sure to read this chapter online for the full experience (preferably a desktop so you can read it well)! ALL PICTURES are NOT mine and are only used in a fictitious manner. Mikha Lim and Aiah Arceta are only portrayers so don't associate this with real life. Happy reading!
-- ASHI --
everydaysolace followed you
My brows furrowed as I saw the account username that just followed me. I checked it out and realized that it belongs to Magui. After reading the bio, I realized that it was an Instagram diary that she made just for me. I sent a request to follow it and after a few minutes, Magui accepted it.
I was about to stalk the account when I received a message from Magui herself.
From: Magui Feola
Enjoy stalking!
I shooked my head as I reviewed all the posts one by one. She started posting pictures even before we became a couple.
I noticed that she posted less when we became a couple. Maybe because she posted more on her personal account, nonetheless, she never stopped updating her Instagram diary every time she can. I was liking every picture not until I saw her next posts. It broke my heart.
Even when we broke up, she never stopped loving me. She never stopped caring. She was there for every milestone, every memory. She was miles away from us but she never left us. She never left me.
And she continued to love me when our paths crossed again. Despite hurting her over and over, she still chose to see the good in me. She still chose to be in love with me.
After reading the caption of her latest post, tears were streaming from my face nonstop. Even if she's already in Canada, she still thinks about me. She still prioritizes my happiness and well-being. I don't know what I did to deserve someone who loves me like this but I am truly grateful.
Magui would always be my life's greatest blessing.
And I will do everything just to give her the love she deserves.
It's time to end her pain.
It's time to give her the love she deserves.
It's time to forgive myself.
It's time to take the risk.
"What's up, Geronimo!" Magui greeted me cheerfully the moment she answered my call.
"Umagang-umaga, mapanakit ka!" Sumbat ko sa kaniya. "I thought you're done chasing me?"
"I am. I just gave you another reason to chase me." She joked on the other line.
"Atat na atat ka, Feola!"
"You're taking so long, baby. I miss you already." She said in a cute tone which made me chuckle a bit.
I can feel my cheeks burning but I ignored it. Magui calling me 'baby' always makes me vulnerable.
"I miss you too, Mags. I'm not yet ready but I know that I'm already one step closer."
"I know. Take your time, baby. Dito lang si Magui." She said before ending the call.
She always ends the call after saying 'dito lang si Magui.' She keeps on assuring me that she'll never go anywhere. She'll never be someone else's girl but mine.
"Are you ready?" Cleo suddenly entered my room.
Today's concert isn't similar to the ones we have before. We won't be performing alone because there are other bands and famous singers too. Among all our concerts, this is probably the most memorable one since it will take us back to where it all started.
"I am," I told her while wiping my tears.
"Why are you crying?" She asked, concern evident in her tone.
"Wala, napuwing lang." I made an excuse as I asked her to help me carry my backpack.
We only have an hour and a half to perform so I don't really need a lot of clothes. When I got down, all of the girls are already in the van.
I placed my AirPods on while listening to my favorite song, Luna. It was the song that Magui released during my birthday and became a really top hit at that time.
"Ano 'yan?" Savannah asked as she took my phone.
Savannah noticed that I was looking at Magui's Instagram diary again. She was curious so she had to check it out.
"Hala, sana all Ashi Geronimo!" Savannah yelled while showing Gia my phone.
"Iba talaga magmahal ang isang Magui Feola. Love, why did you never do this to me?" Gia then handed my phone to Malia.
"Anak ng! Ang effort?" Malia commented as she scrolled through my phone. "Gia gawin mo nga sa'kin 'to!"
"Let me see!" Jenna took my phone from Malia. "Nakakahiya naman ma-in love. Pinamumukha ni Magui sa'tin na wala tayong kwentang mga girlfriend."
"Hoy, hindi 'yan totoo! Wala man akong Instagram diary from you, masagana naman ang buhay natin!" Savannah told her girlfriend which made all of us laugh. Ang landi talaga.
Jenna gave my phone to Stella who was seated in the passenger's seat. She also showed it to Cleo and the two started giggling.
"Ang haba talaga ng hair ni Ashi. Imagine, ito lang naman 'yong nireject niya!" Stella teased me. "Kung ako sa'yo, 'di ko na papakawalan 'to."
"Ewan ko sayo!" I rolled my eyes at Stella as I demanded my phone back. "Ang chichismosa niyo! Diyan nga kayo magfocus sa mga love lives niyo!"
I went back to my senti moments even though I can still hear the girls teasing me. Throughout the whole ride, they can't stop talking about me and Magui.
Cleo parked the van in the car park before we went backstage. We started rehearsing to make sure that all our instruments are working and that we wouldn't forget any song from our sequence.
"Mamaya pa tayong 10:30 sasalang. Do you want to eat dinner first?" Jenna asked all of us and we agreed.
Savannah, Stella, and Gia are in the crowd since they weren't allowed backstage. My bandmates and I ordered takeout from a Chowking stall as we ate our dinner backstage.
"Naaalala niyo ba n'ong nadapa si Malia dito sa field?" Cleo teased Malia as we reminisced our college days.
"Yeah! Fire drill 'yon and we were given a four-hour break kaya nagmamadali siyang tumakbo para makakuha agad ng upuan sa Angkong!" I started laughing as I remembered how she fall. Sobrang nakakatawa!
"It was so embarrassing because the whole student body saw it!" Jenna laughed too.
"Sige, tawa! Natutuwa naman ako at napapasaya ko kayo." Malia said sarcastically.
"Ikaw na nga yung laging late, lampa ka pa!" I continued teasing her.
"Ay ganyan ba gusto mo, Ashi? Foul ka, ha!" Malia gave me a teasing smile. "Gusto mo bang ilantad ko kung paano ka nagkalat dito noong broken ka kay Magui?"
"Hoy mas foul 'yon!" I glared at her.
"We don't recall the past, Malia." Jenna stopped her.
"Wow! Okay lang na ilaglag ako pero si Ashi hindi?" Malia started to clap sarcastically. "May araw ka rin sa'kin, Ashi Geronimo!"
"Subukan mo, lagot ka kay Magui." Cleo blackmailed her so Malia quietly went back to her food.
"Oh, bat ka nanahimik diyan?" I asked her.
"Hindi ko pwedeng galitin si Magui. Baka hindi na niya ko dalhin sa Europe." She scrateched the back of her neck.
"Gold digger ka talaga, eh 'no?" Cleo was still teasing her.
"Kay Magui ka lang pala takot. Malia 'tanggal angas' Villanueva!" Jenna continued teasing her too.
We were waiting backstage when I noticed a familiar face. It was Zach Tabudlo. I really liked his music so I gave him a stroke of good luck before he went out on stage. He was the second to the last to perform.
The crowd cheered for him as he sang his music and mingled with the audience. After an hour of exposure, we were already told to stand by since we are the next and last band to perform before the firework show. I stood quietly backstage as I watched Zach perform his last song.
"Para sa mga nangangamba at natotorpe diyan, this song is for you! Umamin ka na, habulin mo na bago ka pa maunahan ng iba!" Zach made a hugot introduction which made the crowd go wild.
"Habulin mo na raw" Cleo bumped me to tease me.
"Nangangamba nangangamba ang 'yong puso
Hindi ka sigurado ('di ka sigurado)
Nalilito nalilito ang 'yong utak
Kung tunay bang pag ibig 'to (tunay bang pag ibig 'to)"
"Ano ba ang problema mo
Sabihin na ang totoo"
"Sabihin mo na nilalaman ng puso mo
At nararamdaman nito
Kung 'di pa aminin ang gusto
Baka kasi mawala na ako"
"Nagulat ka nagulat ka no'ng
May kasama na 'kong iba (kasama na 'kong iba)
Pakipot ka 'wag nang pakipot pa
Baka maagaw pa ng iba (maagaw pa ng iba)"
"Wala nang magbabago
Kung 'di mo pa aminin 'to"
"Sabihin mo na nilalaman ng puso mo
At nararamdaman nito
Kung 'di pa aminin ang gusto
Baka kasi mawala na ako"
"Ito na ang pagkakataon
Wala nang pipigil sa 'yo
'Wag ka nang mahihiya
Sabihin na ang totoo"
-- FLASHBACK --
"Will you be my paskuhan date?" Magui handed me a bouquet of sunflowers. She was also holding an illustration board with the question written on it.
"Yes! A thousand times yes!" I embraced her with so much excitement.
This is our first paskuhan together as a couple and I couldn't wait to spend it with Magui.
I really prepared a lot for this day. I bought a new dress and spend time putting on makeup. I was busy with my eyeliner when Magui called.
" I'm outside your house already," Magui told me which made me panic.
I peeked through the window and saw Magui looking at me.
I hurriedly put on my eyeliner as I took my bag. I only brought my phone, wallet, lipstick, and powder in case I needed to retouch. I ran out of the house when my mom stopped me.
"You girls have fun, okay?" My mom instructed us. "Bring her home before 12." Mom looked seriously at Magui.
"Ma, baka fireworks pa lang niyan!" I complained.
"Fine. Bring her home before 2."
"Ako na po ang bahala sa anak niyo, tita. I'll never take my eyes off her." Magui said while staring at me from head to toe. Na-conscious tuloy ako. "You're so beautiful, baby," Magui whispered in my ear which made me blush.
Magui opened her car door for me. I went in before she rode the driver's seat. We went to UST and she parked first in the car park before we went to the field.
A small band was already performing but Magui and I still weren't interested. We were waiting for the highlight of the night which is Ben&Ben.
We ordered burgers for merienda first. We needed to eat something heavy because we'll eat dinner around 1-2 AM. Once we find a good spot, we could never get out of the crowd.
After eating, we already positioned ourselves as near as we can to the stage. We were singing along with the performers when Magui pulled me to face her.
"May sasabihin ako sa'yo." She told me which made me feel nervous. "Pero mamaya na sa Ben&Ben."
"Why not now?" I asked with brows furrowed.
"Hindi na special if I told you now." She explained as she patted my head.
"Okay." I pouted because I was really curious.
"Alam mo ba, it is always my dream to perform on the Paskuhan stage. I know we've performed a lot here during school fairs pero iba pa rin talaga kapag Paskuhan." Magui changed the topic.
"Don't worry, adi. Magiging successful rin ang Vanya Luna. A few years from now, I can already see us performing at Paskuhan." I gave her a reassuring smile. "We're gonna work hard to achieve our dreams, okay. Walang iwanan!"
"Road to Paskuhan!" Magui cheered as we looked back at the stage.
After a few hours of waiting and singing randomly, it was finally Ben&Ben's time to shine. They sang a lot of their famous songs while Magui and I sang with them like we were in a karaoke bar. We were just enjoying the moment until it was time to perform their much-awaited song.
"Ang kantang ito ay para sa mga pinili araw-araw. UST Paskuhan, if you know this song, sing with us as you wave your flashlights." Kuya Paolo instructed before he started to sing.
"Umaga na sa ating duyan
'Wag nang mawawala
Umaga na sa ating duyan
Magmamahal o mahiwaga"
I leaned on Magui's shoulders as I intertwined my hand with hers. Our other hands were waving our phone flashlights in the air.
"Matang magkakilala
Sa unang pagtagpo
Paano dahan-dahang
Sinuyo ang puso"
"Kay tagal ko nang nag-iisa
Andiyan ka lang pala"
"Thank you for coming into my life. I was alone for so many years not until you found me." Magui whispered in my ears.
"I'll never leave you alone, adi. Ashi's always here." I assured her.
"Mahiwaga
Pipiliin ka sa araw-araw
Mahiwaga
Ang nadarama sa yo'y malinaw"
Magui suddenly hid her flashlight and asked me if I would like to dance with her. I agreed so I hid my phone too. I placed my left hand on her right shoulder as she placed her right hand on my waist. My right hand is still intertwined with her left as we started to dance slowly.
The people around us gave us a small space to move around. I can feel their eyes staring at us but I couldn't care less. All I can see at that moment was Magui. It felt like the crowd vanished and it was only us in front of our favorite band.
"Sa minsang pagbali ng hangin
Hinila patungo sa akin
Tanging ika'y iibiging wagas at buo
Payapa sa yakap ng iyong hiwaga
Payapa sa yakap ng iyong"
"Mahiwaga
Pipiliin ka sa araw-araw
Mahiwaga
Ang nadarama sa yo'y malinaw"
"Mahiwaga
'Wag nang mawala araw-araw oh
Mahiwaga
Pipiliin ka araw-araw"
Magui and I were dancing slowly with our foreheads leaned together. It was the most enchanting night of my life.
"Ano nga pala yung sasabihin mo?" I asked when I suddenly remembered.
"I love you, Ashi. Ikaw lang ang pipiliin ko araw-araw, wala nang iba." Magui gave me a sincere smile as a tear fell from her eye.
"Ikaw lang rin ang pipiliin ko sa araw-araw. I love you too, Magui." I smiled back at her.
"Walang dulo." We both said before looking back at Ben&Ben.
Walang dulo.
-- END OF FLASHBACK --
"Sabihin mo na nilalaman ng puso mo
At nararamdaman nito
Kung 'di pa aminin ang gusto oh"
"Sabihin mo na nilalaman ng puso mo
At nararamdaman nito
Kung 'di pa aminin ang gusto
Baka kasi mawala na ako"
"Thank you for that mesmerizing performance, Zach!" The emcee told him before he exited the stage. "Are you ready for the most awaited band of tonight? Huwag na natin patagalin 'to. Paskuhan, let us welcome the band that graduated from UST themselves, 12AM!"
The crowd started cheering wildly as we went out off the stage. We fixed ourselves first and our instruments before I took the mic.
I looked at the audience who still wasn't done cheering for us. I remembered Magui again. It was always her dream to perform in the Paskuhan stage pero hindi na niya natupad.
I'll make her dream come true.
I tapped my bracelet to feel Magui's presence. It was just blinking. Cleo can see how nervous I am because she's still not tapping back. Cleo was already signaling me to start but I was waiting for Magui.
Later on, the bracelet stopped blinking as it lit up. Magui's here now. I felt relieved. I took a deep breath before talking.
"What's up, UST Paskuhan!" I cheered as loud as I can to hype the crowd. "Grabe, hindi ako makapaniwala na after so many years, makakapagperform ulit kami sa stage na 'to. If you guys didn't know, dito unang nagperform ang bandmates ko noong nabuo nila ang Vanya Luna. Dito rin ako unang nagperform when I became a part of that band. UST ang naging saksi sa journey namin and we want to share that journey to all of you."
"Our first song for tonight is an original composition of the band which I wrote back in college. Paskuhan, this is A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be." Jenna added to the introduction before we started performing.
We performed a few of our songs and the crowd sang with us. After an hour and a half, it's time for our final song.
"Guys I want you to turn on your flashlights and wave them as we sing our last song for tonight," Cleo instructed the crowd.
"For our last song, this is something that you haven't heard yet because we haven't released it yet. Maswerte kayo because you'll get to hear our latest music first." Malia hyped the crowd.
"Our next song is for all the people who already found the love of their lives. Hindi ako nananakit ng mga single but I want you all to feel how beautiful love is. So grab your partner's hand and raise it high if you have to. Saksi ang buwan at mga bituin sa pagmamahalan niyong dalawa!" I cheered as my bandmates started to play their instruments.
"O kay sarap sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Kapag kapiling kang tumitig sa kawalan
Saksi ang buwan at bituin sa pagmamahalan
Nating dalawa
Nating dalawa"
"Tanaw pa rin kita sinta
Kay layo ma'y nagniningning mistula kang tala
Sa tuwing nakakasama ka
Lumiliwanag ang daan sa kislap ng 'yong mga mata
Pag ikaw ang kasabay puso'y napapalagay
Gabi'y tumatamis tuwing hawak ko ang 'yong kamay
O kay sarap sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Kapag kapiling kang tumitig sa kawalan
Saksi ang buwan at bituin sa pagmamahalan
Nating dalawa
Nating dalawa"
"Simoy ng hangin na kay lamig sa katawan
Daig pa rin ng liyab na 'king nararamdaman
Sa tuwing tayo'y magkabilang mundo
Isang tingin ko lang sa buwan napalapit na rin sa iyo
Langit ay nakangiti nag-aabang sa sandali
Buong paligid ay nasasabik sa ating halik
O kay sarap sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Kapag kapiling kang tumitig sa kawalan
Saksi ang buwan at bituin sa pagmamahalan
Nating dalawa
Nating dalawa"
"O kay sarap sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Kapag kapiling kang tumitig sa kawalan
Saksi ang buwan at bituin sa pagmamahalan
Nating dalawa
Nating dalawa"
"Halika na sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Samahan mo akong tumitig sa kawalan
Saksi ang buwan at bituin sa pagmamahalan
Nating dalawa
Nating dalawa"
The crowd cheered once more as I finished the song. I took a bow before waving my hands at them.
"Thank you for having us, UST Paskuhan!" Jenna yelled at the audience. "Once again, we are 12AM. I am Jenna Corpuz, keyboard and backup singer."
"I am Malia Villanueva, guitar!" Malia started strumming her guitar so that everyone would feel her presence.
"I am Cleo Natividad, drums!" Cleo also smashed her drums to make some noise.
I looked at my bandmates as I reminisced all the performances we spent together. They welcomed me into the band with open arms. I've dreamed a lot with these girls and we were able to achieve all of our goals together. It was a fun journey and I would always cherish it forever.
"And I am Ashi Geronimo, 12AM's lead singer, now signing off."