Ilaria sits right beside me, like no concept of personal space at all, right beside me.
"You okay?" I look at her.
"Where's mommy?"
"She's with Romeo and Roman, they'll be home soon." I shuffle a little away from her but she shuffles right back to me.
Arabella took Roman to Juliana's, i know they're pissed i would be too. They've been there for a couple of hours. Luca's playing with Matteo upstairs, i was about to clean my gun.
"Shopping?" She looks at me with wide eyes.
She's so cute.
"We can do some online shopping." I pick Romans laptop up.
She decides to sit right on top of me.
I'm not used to this.
"So what do you want?" I ask.
"Dollhouse. Barbie. Dresses." She counts on her fingers, "Uhm... Ooh slime. Tea set."
"Okay, okay." I type Dollhouses in.
For an entire hour, i let her put whatever she wants in the basket. $400 worth of toys, only for her. I told her to put some in for her brothers but she said they can do that another day.
Arabella is gonna be mad.
She usually lets the kids have what they want but she has a rule and it's if she buys something new, they have to get rid of something because then it doesn't overcrowd.
I just bought over thirty toys.
Arabella's gonna be mad.
I press buy and Ilaria squeals, hugging me, "Thank you, papa." She says quietly.
But i heard it.
She called me papa.
She's the first one to call me papa.
The first one to be called papa is me.
Matteo hasn't even called me papa yet.
Oh my god.
I look at her, holding her back gently so she doesn't fall off the seat, "Did you just call me papa?"
She nods her head with a cheeky smile, "Best papa ever."
Oh my heart.
I'm crying.
Oh my god i'm crying.
I wipe my cheeks quickly, "Thank you."
"Sorry." She looks at me, eyes wide and then i realise she's seeing me crying.
God i'm crying because she called me papa.
"Oh no, don't be sorry darling-"
"I didn't mean crying." She jumps off the couch.
I grab her gently, "Papas just happy. Happy tears." I lift her back into my lap. "Very happy tears."
She wipes my tears away with her tiny hands, "Happy tears?"
"Yeah. Because you called me papa, it makes me happy." I smile. Another thing Arabella wants us to do is to not shorten sentences for them to understand, or to put on 'baby voices' she said she never did it to them once and she always spoke to them normally. So that's what we're doing.
We're all going with Arabella's way of parenting, it seems to be the most functional and well... better way. Luca is the best at it because he wasn't abused as a child.
Arabella calls it gentle parenting. She hardly ever shouts at them, she teaches them to do stuff themselves, i mean, Romeo is three and can wash and change himself, that kids amazing.
She looks confused for a second with the cutest little frown on her face, "So mommy has happy tears?"
"Everyone has happy tears."
She gently pokes her eyes as if to make tears just fall out, "Mommy doesn't."
I smile a little, "Does mommy cry a lot?"
She nods her head, "Happy tears."
Maybe they're not happy tears, i don't know. Arabella and i still need to have a long ass talk. We've been too busy with the kids for it though.
Matteo and Luca walk in, "Oh, i see watery eyes." He sits down, lifting Matteo to sit with him.
"Ilaria called me papa." I gently pinch her cheek.
"Happy tears." Ilaria adds on.
"Not fair, how come i don't get called papa?" He frowns.
Ilaria just gives me a cheeky smile and sits with me again, playing with my rings.
I wanted to know more about Arabella.
"So does mommy cry a lot, Matty?"
He nods his head, "Stress."
"She says it's stress?" I question.
He nods his head again, "Hard work."
She's got that right.
Three kids all by herself.
I hear the front door open and when they walk into the living room, i could tell Arabella was crying a lot.
I decided to lighten the mood a little bit.
"What am i?" I ask Ilaria.
"Papa." She shys away.
Roman smiles a little bit and the smile that washed over Arabella's face made me smile. I want to see her smile like that all the time.
"I cried." I look at Romeo, "Helle, little lad."
"Hello." He glares at me.
God, i am not scared of Roman anymore but you see this kid that looks exactly like him.
Sometimes i get chills.
"How'd it go?" Luca asks.
"Tell you later." Arabella runs her fingers through Romeo's hair, she does that with all the kids and i notice Ilaria gets jealous a lot. Her hair is so beautiful and long that when Arabella does it, her fingers usually get tangled.
"You guys want snacks?" Roman asks, standing up.
"Oh, i'll make them." Arabella goes to stand up but Romeo grabs her hand. "Or not."
"I got it, love." Roman walks out.
Ilaria pulls my ring off my finger and then jumps off my lap, walking to Arabella and jumping on her.
I see Romeo move out of the way to let Ilaria sit with Arabella.
"Hey, Romeo wanna come sit with me?" I nod my head over.
He looks down, completely ignoring me.
Luca laughs a little bit then his smile drops whenever Matteo gets off him to sit with Arabella too. "Not fair." He shuffles up the couch to me, i let my arm rest around his shoulder as we watch them.
But i felt bad for Romeo because i could tell he was distancing himself so that the others got to spend time with Arabella.
Just like Roman used to do.
Arabella clears her throat, "I have an occupational therapist coming round tomorrow to help with Romeo, can y'all be there?"
"Course." Luca and I say in sync.
Roman walks in a couple minutes later with cut up sandwiches and a bowl of cereal, "Here, Romeo." He holds the cereal up.
Romeo walks over and sits with him. Oh, progress.
And I could see how content Roman was.
"Thank you." Romeo says, eating at the cereal.
Arabella makes sure the other two eat, they put spongebob on and Ilaria laughed at everything. She thinks everything's funny even if it isn't. Matteo just smiled at his sister and Romeo didn't pay attention at all.
They're all my kids. I want to get to know them all but Romeo seems to be only interested in Arabella. He doesn't really seem interested in Roman either.
"Everything go okay?" Luca asks Roman.
Now that the kids were occupied with the TV, Roman nods his head, "Arabella did the right thing and smacked the shit out of Juliana."
"Reign, shush." Arabella tuts.
"Sorry, my love." Roman smiles back at her. "New grandma is gonna be Valentina."
Luca looks at Arabella, "Princess my mom doesn't have a clue you're back."
"Let her know." Arabella eats the crusts from the kids plates.
"Are you hungry, love?"
Arabella nods her head, "Havent ate."
Romeo, this adorable little thing, looks down at his cereal and stops eating, then jumps off the couch and hands the bowl to Arabella, "Finished mommy."
Arabella caught on to what he was doing quickly, "You need to finish it, remember."
He shakes his head, "You're hungry."
"Roro can we play barbie?" Ilaria interrupts them.
"Not now." Romeo looks at her, then back at Arabella. "Promise i'm full."
Arabella hauls him onto her lap so all three of the kids were cuddled with her, She takes a small bite of the cereal and then holds the spoon up to his lips, he accepts it and she lets them share the cereal like that.
Once Matteo gets bored, he moves away from Arabella and starts playing in the corner of the room with his toys, then Ilaria decided to go and annoy him.
And then it hits me that i've never seen Romeo play with a toy.
I'm so interested in the way that kids brain works.
I look back at Arabella and her cute little smile as she watched Romeos eyes drop close. He's tired. I would be too. They spent most of the day at Juliana's house.
Now that the kids were actually occupied, i look at Roman for answers.
"I offered to kill her but Arabella said no." He clears his throat, keeping his voice low. "She did smack the shit out of her though, told her she never wants to see her again and made her apologise to Romeo."
Luca smiles a little, "As she should."
"Then we took him to the beach, he likes the beach. Arabella played with him while i watched. That's why we took so long." He looks at them, Arabella was drifting off too.
I look back at Matteo and Ilaria, still playing with their toys.
"We can stay in the safe house while the renovations happen for this place." I say, "It's got more rooms."
"Arabella said that too." Roman looks at the TV, "I hired extra workers, everything should be done in a months time."
We're going to make Arabella's dream home.
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dw y'all Juliana will die later
word count: 1587