"You're like a villain
In some old film
Walkin' in the dark
In somebody's room
Save me
'Cause I'm still sinking."
-
Harry's POV (First Person)
I wrote letters.
That's not something I'm proud to admit: Louis, Niall, Candy, and Liam—even my step-father, Marcello. I wrote them all letters before sitting in an icy cold bath with my clothes still on. Lines of coke, shattered glass, used needles, and a half-empty bottle of whiskey was beside me.
It was a failed attempt. Ironically, I met Allie shortly after. It started with a simple glance. She looked scared and nervous and hardly made eye contact. She wore baggy clothes and stuttered over every other word that tumbled from her lips. She stuck out like a sore thumb in the Red Room, and it took one smirk from me to have her running for the hills.
Now, look at her. She holds her head high. Her eyes are heavy-lidded, and she presses her body against mine. I know she wants me, and to have a woman like her want someone like me? There's not a word that could describe how good that makes me feel.
Before her, I felt dirty and unclean. Impure, polluted, poisoned. I was rotten. I mean, that's why I wanted to kill myself. Ending my life sounded a hell of a lot easier than living this life of sex, money, murder, repeat. It's not like I had much to live for either, and it's not like I'd care if I died.
But things have changed.
I'm still rotten, I know, but Allie came into my life and made me feel like I was worth something. She made me feel like I was worth looking at, remembering, seeing, and loving.
She made me feel. After being numb for so long, she made me feel everything good. She brought me peace.
I used to hate her because of this. But that's only because I didn't understand back then. She made me feel vulnerable and bare — like she could see through me. It made me so uncomfortable I'd snap at her and push her away.
But I understand now.
She gave me a reason.
I scoff. To think I nearly ended my life a few months ago. I would've missed out on this. I would've missed out on Allie.
I wasn't lying. She really is the light of my life.
I get butterflies in my soul every time she looks at me like she is right now, heavy-lidded doe eyes with her lip caught between her teeth, fighting that loving and sultry smile that drives me crazy.
I'm so lucky to be alive.
I love my eyes when she looks into them. I love my body when she touches me. I love my name when she calls me.
I love-
Alright. I need to shut the fuck up. I'm getting carried away.
"You think you're so heartless, but you're so full of feelings," she murmurs, making my breath hitch. "You pretend to feel nothing, but you feel everything, don't you? Isn't that lonely? Pretending to be okay all the time?"
I let out an unsteady breath. Like I said—she sees right through me. She hums pointedly. "Looks like that's something else you and I have in common."
Pouting a bit, she stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck. Like two magnets, our bodies mold into each other. We both sigh at the contact. There's nothing sexual about this. I just want her close. She clings to me, and God, it's hard for me not to smile, knowing that she wants to hold me just as close.
She used to hate touch. Now, look at us.
Allie gives the best hugs. She holds me like the sky holds the moon and the stars. She's everywhere, consuming me, shining bright even at night.
Christ. My heart leaps into my throat when she kisses my neck before hugging me tighter. It gets hard to breathe, my vision doubles, and my palms start sweating.
What is she doing to me?
Her hands run down my chest soothingly, and I shudder. There's a shift between us; the atmosphere grows tense and desperate. Soft kisses became sloppy, and gentle touches became needy.
When she tugs on my belt, she gasps and murmurs between kisses. "I want you."
I love being wanted by her. I fucking love it.
I reach behind me and find the handle to the back seat door. She pushes me down first when I open the car door, laying me down in the back seat. I bend my knees, so my whole body is in the car, laughing hysterically because, wow, we're both extremely uncoordinated.
"Oh, what the fuck," she curses when she hits her head while trying to crawl over my legs. "Why are you so fucking tall," she grumbles as she settles her legs around my hips, turning around to close the door behind us.
It's amusing watching her struggle like this. "Never have car sex before?"
"Nope." She shakes her head. I look up at her, with an amused expression. "Never. Have you seen the movies? I don't know how people get down in the front or back seat. There's no room."
"There's not much room back here either," I respond with an artful grin. "We could wait. I'll drive us back to the hotel-"
"You can fuck me in the hotel later," she says, sounding almost like a whine. "I just- I really want you right now."
"Oh, so you're planning on getting lucky tonight? Multiple times?"
She rolls her eyes. "When have we not gone for more rounds? I mean," she grins slyly, running her hands up my shirt, giving me goosebumps. "we got a whole hotel room to ourselves."
"Valid point." I slowly trace my hands up her waist, groping the curves of her soft body. "We gotta take advantage of that."
She smirks, her tongue running across her lips. "Don't worry. We will."
"Temptress," I chuckle breathlessly when she unbuckles my belt. "That's what you are."
"Who said-" her head falls back as she laughs. "No, I'm not. I'm far too clumsy for that, H."
"Clumsy doesn't mean you're not beautiful or alluring," I tell her and she pauses for a moment, frozen. My words we're lighthearted but traipsed along the lines of adoration and embarrassment. I hadn't meant to say what I said but I'm glad I did. "I mean, you seduced me pretty easily." I only smiled, not that she could exactly see that in the dark. I don't think I've ever been with a woman that inspires me the way she does.
She leans over me, kissing my neck, my cheeks, the tip of my nose, and the corner of my lips. Her kisses are soft, like butterflies, and my heart thrashes against my ribcage.
I hum. "You're by far the prettiest girl that's ever been on my lap."
She pinches the skin on my ribs, pouting. I laugh, jolting beneath her when her nails dig into my flesh but she doesn't find it all that funny. "Asshole."
From there, her soft kisses turn into teasing love bites when she slowly begins swirling her hips. I sit up, and he helps me take my shirt off, throwing the fabric somewhere carelessly before kissing me again, her lips slotting between mine. Her hips never stop or slow, but she grins harder on me. A moan slips past my lips as she slowly pushes me back to lay down again. I can hardly fucking breathe.
I grab her ass when her tongue runs over my bottom lip, biting and sucking on the soft, pink flesh in a way that makes me dizzy. I feel like a schoolboy. If she keeps this up, I'll cum in my fucking pants.
We pull away when the need to draw breath becomes irresistible. She smiles softly down at me, like sunshine that peaks over the horizon at dawn, as she begins unbuttoning my pants. She looks like a fucking angel.
She's the type of girl people write songs about.
She's my sunshine.
My temptress.
My woman.
Fuck. She's just so fucking perfect to me.
"I-I've never done this before," she whispers suddenly.
I cup her cheeks, my thumbs caressing her soft skin. "What do you mean?"
She takes a deep breath. "B-Be on top."
I tilt my head. "How many people have you been with again?" It was a genuine question. She's told me the answer before, but I just want clarification. Regardless, her response won't affect anything.
I'll always want her.
"Only you and Mason, remember?"
My eyebrows furrow. "He didn't-"
"No," she shakes her head. "Never." Her ministrations slow down to a complete stop, and I can tell by the tone of her voice that memories are rising to the surface. "He uh, he never wanted to look at me while- ya know," she insinuates with a wave of her hand. She scoffs in a way that makes it seem like this isn't a big deal. "I always faced away from him."
I've said it before, but I'm going to kill him. I've never wanted to stick a knife in someone's throat only to watch them slowly bleed out so badly before.
That fucker will burn.
How could she say something like that and seem so... indifferent? It wasn't right.
"Do you want to be on top?" It's the only words I can utter without blowing up.
Allie always looks so beautiful when she cums around my cock. She's gorgeous when she smiles or laughs. She's beautiful when she snores in her sleep or when she's reading Maggie bedtime stories. She's just fucking beautiful head to toe, inside and out. She's far too good for the likes of me or that scumbag, Mason. I mean, how could Mason not want to see her beautiful face? How could he not want to make her feel good?
Shit. I need to stop and change the subject. I can't talk about Mason anymore. I'll blow up and ruin the whole night.
She nods eagerly. "Yes. I think I'd like it a lot."
I run my hands up her body before grabbing a handful of her tits. Shit. She's not wearing a bra. I message, grope, and pinch her nipples, and the cutest little noises tumble from her lips. "Then do whatever you want to me, my love," I encourage her. "'m yours."
She kisses me and reaches down in between us. She needily pulls my cock out and moves down, kissing everywhere she can reach on my body before she gets to where she wants to be.
She doesn't even waste time stuffing her mouth with my cock.
She's not too wild with it. She's gentle like she always is. She fondles me, licks me, and bites my thighs teasingly.
Shit.
"Allie, I-"
"What is it?" She stares up at me from in between my legs.
I swallow. I can barely get out a whole sentence out with her touching me like this. "Get up here," I moan as she takes all of me, everything I got. "Please- I wanna taste you."
She pulls away from my cock a little sloppily and tilts her head innocently. Her lips are wet with spit and precum. "Taste me?"
"Yes," I nod, eyebrows pinching together. I breathe heavily as she slowly keeps pumping me. "S-Sit on my face."
We have little light in the car, but I can still see her blushing. "But I'm heavy!"
"No, you're not, and I don't care," I grunt. "Get up here, angel."
"A-Are you sure?"
"Yes," I nod my head. "Baby, please. I love making you feel good."
I can hear how shaky her breathing is. "O-Okay."
She hits her head again as she struggles to take off her pants and panties in the back seat, leaving her only in her baggy vintage Van Halen t-shirt. "Harry, are you sure?"
"I'm positive, my love."
"Well," she grumbles. "Don't get mad if I suffocate you."
I moan dramatically just to mess with her. "That would be such an honor," I let my hand travel in between our bodies and start pumping my dick in front of her. Her eyes go wide and hazy. "To go out eating your pussy-"
She covers my mouth, red cheeks flaring. "Enough!"
I gasp out a laugh against her hand. She's so fucking cute.
I can tell she's nervous. I can hear her mumbling to herself in the third person, giving herself words of encouragement. My cheeks hurt. I haven't smiled this much in a long time.
In a moment of confidence, she crawls over me in the confined space of the car. Sadly, we don't have enough room for her to hover over me where I'll be able to look up and see her blissed-out expression or the curve of her tits as I eat her out, but this is still good.
This is really good.
She hovers her pussy over my face, facing away from me, and I let both my hands reach over her hips and grab her ass. I force her down, and without warning, I smother myself in her pussy.
She gasps, resting her hands on my chest, trembling. I start slowing, leaving an agonizingly long drag from her hole to her clit. I moan against her. She's already too fucking wet.
With my tongue flat against her, I rub her clit up and down before sucking on it between my lips. I move on to kitten licks, lapping and flicking her clit a bit faster now, exploring new parts of her that have gone untouched.
"Harry... Harry baby," she shakes, trying to keep her hips from moving against my tongue, but with a little bit of encouragement, I guide her hips back and forth. The sounds that fall from her lip are filthy.
I want her to cum all over my face. I want her screaming my name while she rides me. So I go faster, harder, becoming utterly ruthless in my efforts.
She falls forward, her body pressing into mine. "I- mh!" Her head hangs low for a moment as pleasure trickles through her. It takes her a moment to ground herself, but when she does, she wraps her hand wraps around my dick. She bites back her moans as she speaks. "I-I wanna make you feel good too." She hums when her lips wrap around my cock. My hips buck because, holy shit, I wasn't expecting that.
I groan against her pussy when my cock hits the back of her throat. She's relentless. She holds my hips down with one arm, and her free hand wraps around the base of my dick. Her mouth works with her hand, pumping me with lavish strokes. She sucks, licks, and kisses the tip of my dick in a way that she knows makes me go mad.
Fuck.
"Allie-" I swallow, pulling away from her pussy, licking my lips.
Holy shit.
Suddenly, she pulls away with shaking legs. She turns around and sits on my lap again, panting heavily. "I need you in me," she says decisively. "God, I need to feel you, Haz."
"What do you need, Als?" I'd give her anything.
"Beg," she whispers enticingly. "Beg for me, and I'll give you what you want."
I'm too lost in her to care about anything. "Please," I begged her. "Please, baby, fuck me."
She kisses my moth tattoo. "Will you be good for me?"
Is that even a question? "Yes. Of course, angel."
She crawls over me, and suddenly moonlight shines through the window, basking her in a soft white light. She smiles when she catches me gazing at her, her wild hair falling over one shoulder, as she settles in my lap. In that moment, nothing else mattered me.
She looks so happy.
She slowly sinks down, hovering her pussy over my dick that's resting against my belly. She grinds down sensually, back and forth, my dick running between her lips. She swirls her hips around the head of my cock, stimulating her clit before slowly rocking back and forward again.
Her breath hitches. She rests her hands on my chest and looks down at me. I've never seen her grin so mischievously before. "Like this?"
She's a fuckin' menace. My head falls back, and I laugh, breathless. "Fuck you."
She grabs my face and tilts my head back to face her. There's a slight crease between her brows as she looks down at me. "Look away from me again, and I'll stop."
Internally, I chuckle to myself. Allie isn't a sub like I thought. No, she's so much more than that, and I loved it.
I brush her hair behind her ear. It's cute the way her ears redden. "Okay, Allie baby," I murmur with a small smile. "Use me. Do whatever you want with me."
I rest my hands on her hips when she slowly starts grinding down on me again. She pulls away from my lips that she kisses only once and stares down at me. She wasn't kidding about her last threat. If I look away, she'll definitely stop.
A part of me wants to look away, just to irritate her and see her cute little pout. I wonder if she'd punish me, and my cock twitches at the thought. However, I refrain from looking away.
I just want to feel her right now.
My grip on her hips tightens after one particular stroke. "Baby, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum," I warn through a grunt when I feel her pussy throb on me.
"No," she whines. "Not yet. I want you to fill me up, baby."
"Christ," I curse. She has no idea the nasty things I want to do to her that are floating through my head, but that'll have to wait for another time.
Right now, my girl is in control.
She sits up and grabs my cock, lining it up with her entrance. "That's it, baby," I watch as she sinks down on me slowly. "Use me. Just like that."
"Gentle," she murmurs, her hands resting on mine that we're gripping at her hips too tightly. Shit, did I hurt her? "I'm okay," she suddenly assures me. "I wanna take this slow. I wanna enjoy this with you." She moves my hands from her hips and slides them up to her breast.
I've never fucked a woman like this before. It's always been senseless, rough fucks that helped me blow off some steam. But everything is different with Allie.
I know I'm not gentle, but she makes me want to be.
"That's it," I pull her closer to me gently as she rides me unhurried and blissed out. Her head falls back, and with each roll of her hips, small gasps and moans topple from her lips. "Just like that, sweet girl. Use me."
She fucks me hard—so hard that the only sound audible other than her pretty moans is the slapping of our skin. When her legs start to shake and her rythm faltered, I grab her hips again, massaging her skin softly. "What do you need me to do, princess?"
Panting, she slows to a stop. "Fuck me," she demands. "I'm close. Fuck me until I cum."
She doesn't have to tell me twice. I start fucking up into her as she wanted, and her moans intensify in volume. She cries my name like it's the only word she knows.
She grabs me by the throat when I least expect it and squeezes enough to get my attention. My head snaps up to look up at her. "Don't cum," she threatens between moans. "N-Not yet."
Suddenly, her head falls back, her body shudders, and her pussy throbs around my cock. I had been so close when she came, but the second she came down from her high, she sat back down and put her hands on my chest, forcing me to stop.
"Allie-" I gasp. "Please, I-" she puts her hand over my mouth.
"I love hearing your voice. I especially love hearing you beg for me, but baby, please just shut up." She laughs softly. "I'll make you feel good. I promise."
I run my hand down my face, breathing heavily. She has a power over me that no other person has had. I don't know how she got it. I don't really care. Everything just feels good with her.
When she starts grinding down on me slowly again, my breath hitches. "Aw," she coos, nipping at my neck. "You're so sensitive right now."
"Please," I gasp. "Please, baby. I can't take this anymore."
"Don't worry, H." My stomach tightens at the pet name, and I move my hand to start rubbing her clit. "I-I just want to fuck you slow. I want to feel all of you." She suddenly gasps and trembles as she rides me faster, harder, all while crying out my name. I keep rubbing her clit and- shit. Is she going to cum again?
My orgasm blindsides me as it did her. It hits me so hard that my hips flex and thrust up into her, but she holds me down and rides me herself. I can feel my cum oozing into her, and it doesn't stop. It just keeps going, and she keeps rocking her hips. I thought the overstimulation was getting to be too much, but before I even realized what was happening, it felt like I was cumming all over again.
And what's best is that she's coming again with me. Her hips thrash more violently, and I can feel the car bouncing with us at this point. She's screaming, she's clinging to me, and there are tears in her eyes.
Like always, she's so fucking gorgeous when she cums.
She falls to my chest when her hips finally still, numb from pleasure. We're panting heavily, minds clouded by the force of our orgasms.
A few moments pass us by before she moves, my cock slipping out of her. I groan, missing the feeling of her. She reaches down between her legs, her index and middle fingers dipping into her warm pussy. Looking down at me as she brings her fingers to her lips, moaning when she tastes our cum.
She swallows happily. "You always taste so good, and-"
Eyes wide, I cover bet mouth with my hand. She falls to my chest, laughing at my bewildered expression. Can she blame me?
"Best I ever had," I whisper before kissing her temple, and she giggles when I wrap my arms around her.
She tries getting comfortable in my arms — to lay with me for a few more moments before having to return to the real world. She nuzzles into the crook of my neck, and while smiling to myself, I play with her hair and draw shapes with my fingers over her skin. I couldn't be happier.
She's everything I never knew I needed.
Although she doesn't see it, she's by far one of the most breathtaking souls in this fallen world. So pure, yet so torn. I know she's scared. I know she hates herself and that she feels empty.
I can only hope that she'll find the freedom she's looking for one day.
"Allie?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Promise me you'll never stop searching for your freedom." With or without me, I nearly add.
She moves to look at me, and her smile is gentle and sweet. She leans close and kisses me breathless.
God. She's like a fucking dream.
I squeeze her. How do you do it so well, babe?
"Oooor," she brushes her nose against mine with a loving grin. "We could just keep looking. Together."
-
A/N
The trope where she fell first, but he fell harder LMAO
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ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ❤️
M xxx