I pick up the kids plates, walking into the kitchen while they fight over who's going to sit beside me.
I hear the doorbell ring and look to my mom, "Is it them?"
She looks at the camera showing the CCTV footage from outside, "Just Roman and Luca."
"Let them in." I put the plates in the sink and walk to the kids. "Nap time-"
"No it's not." Romeo frowns.
"It is now. Or, you're all going to go upstairs to play with aunt Afra anyway." I nod my head over to Afra. She comes running over, fixing her hijab in the process. She started wearing one and she looks absolutely beautiful.
Ilaria gets off and happily walk away with Afra, Matteo is already asleep, Romeo is a little harder to convince. Only because he's stubborn like his papa. "Mamma is gonna be fine." I pinch his cheek lightly, "If you behave for Afra, you can sleep in my bed tonight."
He knows it's a good deal.
Hes very protective over me, despite him being three, he thinks he take on the world and trust me if he's given the opportunity, he'll try. He likes sleeping with me because he thinks he's protecting me.
"Fine." He huffs, getting off the couch and walking up the stairs one by one.
He's very mature, also.
I wipe my hands on my dress and look at Roman and Luca walking in. Somehow, they look bigger. Luca especially.
"Hi." I sit down, moving the ipad and the chocolate dipper to the coffee table.
"We're gonna go upstairs with the kids." Mom grabs Gia and they both walk off.
They both stay stood.
"Please sit, you'll make me nervous." I'm very nervous. I didn't think they'd be in the park, that's why we went. It's a chidlren day out, face paint and small rides for the kids. I don't know what three mafia men had any business doing there.
We weren't supposed to meet again like this.
They take a seat on one of the couches.
God i missed them.
"You look good." Luca speaks up, "Healthy."
I am healthy. "I am, thank you. You..." I look at his eye bags and stubble, "You haven't been taking care of yourself."
He looks down, which is enough proof to know i was right. Then i look at Roman, "Where's Asher?"
"Don't know, probably somewhere drinking." He cracks his knuckles. "Now talk."
I pick up one of the kids sippy cups, taking off the top and downing whatever was left in it. "What do you want to know?" I wipe my lips. I'm thirsty when i'm nervous.
"Why you left would be a good start." He leans back, legs extended.
I nod my head, taking a breath, remembering every detail from that day.
Mom and i arrive at the doctors office, she's holding me as i walk in.
I know my body. I know how it feels. I know when somethings wrong and call it instinct, but i knew what was going to happen and what was going to be said as i walked into the doctors office.
Dr. Grey took my bloods, asked me questions, made me lay down so he could feel around my stomach. We waited for the blood results to come back and then he told me.
"You're pregnant."
I had a feeling, i knew it. I look down and nod my head. The worst timing for this because i have not been feeling anything like myself recently and it's nothing to do with this. It's to do with how much i keep in.
We do a scan.
He tells me i'm having triplets.
I cry.
I can't have triplets when i'm feeling the way i do. I can't even have one baby. Hell, i can hardly look after myself.
"We... I can give you the medication now to rid of them here. We can pretend this never happened. It's early on so you'll not even feel it."
"Give us a moment please." Mom says and he walks out of the room.
She rubs my arm, "I think it's time you take up Hamada on his offer." She says quietly, "You need to get better, Arabella. Regardless on if you want to keep the kids or not-"
"I want them." I want my own babies. I want company. I want someone to hopefully make me feel better.
"Then we can keep them, Arabella. But you know you can't even think about them until you have thought about getting yourself better. If you don't want to take Hamadas offer, i can call in for a mental health hospital."
Mom only found out about how i was feeling today. About how i look in the mirror and cry, how i want to die every time someone touches me without telling me first. Or even about the smallest mishaps. I'm not happy. I'm at the lowest i've ever been and i can't tell the guys, i can't seem to find the words.
I need a break.
I know if i go into hospital the guys will visit.
And i love them so much i can't let them keep seeing me detoriate. I can't keep sneaking off to cry, or wishing i fucking died rather than have to live with everything. I can't do that.
I don't want to be medicated. I want to be me again. I want to do it on my own.
"I'll call Hamada."
"You were suicidal?" Luca's eyes gloss with tears.
"I guess you could say that, yeah." I clear my throat. "And... i didn't tell you guys because i knew you would make me stay. You can say you wouldn't, but you would. I called Hamada and we talked over a load of things, Keilani got involved and mom too."
"Arabella, forgive me, but the fact you were carrying our children changes this." Roman chokes on his words. "Their ours too."
"I admit, i should have at least told you guys but i figured the pain would be less for you if you didn't know i was carrying them. Hell, i didn't know if i was going to change my mind once i landed in London as well."
"But you didn't." Roman rubs his eyes.
"No, Roman. I didn't. And i am sorry for not telling you guys, that was the only selfish thing i did. Not tell you guys about the kids, but it wouldn't have changed anything. I was still going to go, okay. Hamada said i can go on my own, without you knowing. Or he'll put out a warrant for your arrests and let me go then. I chose the first option."
"How did Asher know?" Luca wipes his cheeks.
"I told him." I know why he isn't here as well.
Asher thinks i'll only be better if i don't have them in my life, so he doesn't want to be in my life. He'd rather be miserable if it meant i was okay. He said some pretty harsh stuff to me on the phone, told me he hated me, he'd never want to see me again if i left, that i'm not the only one who's been different since we all met. He was drunk, yeah, but his words still hurt me. I told him i loved him, he told me to die. I never spoke to him after that. That's why he's not here as well, he doesn't want to confront what he said.
"Why could you tell him but not me?" Luca chokes on his words, hurt.
"Because he asked first. He tried to comfort me when i was panicking. I told him because i needed to tell someone. He was there. There's nothing more to it." I say truthfully.
Luca looks down, "Is Roman the father?"
"Asher needs to be here if i even think about talking about the kids." I say, and mean it too. "So... call him?"
"He won't answer." Roman takes his phone out of his pocket, sliding it across the coffee table for me.
I pick it up, see the background is still a picture of him and i on our wedding night. "The rings are around my neck, my fingers were swollen through the pregnancy so i kept the rings on a necklace. The kids like them there too." I say, unlocking his phone and seeing his home screen was still me smiling with a duck in my lap.
I bite back tears and go onto contacts calling the only one called Asher Reid.
I hold it to my ear, he answers surprisingly. "Leave me alone-"
"I can't do that, Asher." I say.
He goes dead silent on the other line, "My Arabella?"
"Hey baby." I smile, "Wanna come down to Juliana's?"
"I... I... You... I'm sorry-"
"Shh, you're okay. Come on, i need you to meet some one."
"I'm coming now." He hangs up.
I smile, handing the phone back to Roman but getting a whiff of hay from Luca as i sit back in mt seat, "You smell like a stable." We had them in Greece, well, our neighbors did. She let me clean them when i was stressed.
"I... Yeah." He nods his head, "Do you have water?"
I get up, walking to the kitchen and grabbing four bottles of water from the fridge, i hand them both one and leave two on the coffee table and get to filling up the kids sippy cups again.
"How old are they, at least?" Luca asks.
"Three, turning four July 4th." I put them all on the coffee table too. "The pregnancy was good, birth was good as well. They're all healthy now."
"Now?" Roman raises an eyebrow.
"When Asher comes." I twist open my cap, sipping on the water.
He does turn up twenty minutes later, not drunk but high.
Mom opened the door for him and then took the sippy cups up to the kids while he cautiously walked over.
He sits on the free couch, "You're beautiful."
"Thank you." I smile.
It was awkard, full of tension and i knew i was the one to have to break the tension.
I pick up a picture off the table and look at it. Me with my three babies. "Mama can you bring the kids down?" I shout up.
"Yes." She shouts down.
Luca and Roman look at the stairs immediately and obviously Romeo is the first one to strut down, he didn't take his eyes off Roman.
Like father, like son. I guess.
It's very clear Romeo belongs to Roman. If the blonde hair and blue eyes didn't give it away, the kid is exactly like him.
Gia walks down the stairs with Matteo and when Asher gets a look of him, he gasps dramatically. Because Matteo is the spitting image of Asher.
They walk to me and sit beside me.
Then mom walks down the stairs carrying Ilaria, she's clutched to her and i have to take her off her.
They all sit with me and Romeo puts his protective mode on.
"This is Romeo." I pinch Romeos knee. Then tuck a piece of Ilaria's hair behind her ear, "This is Ilaria." Then point to Matteo, "Matteo, but we all call him Matty."
"Why does one look like Roman and one look like Asher?" Luca asks, prominent lines between his eyebrows.
"It's a rare occurancy in pregnancy called heteropaternal superfecundation. Well, it's rare because it's not really reported but my midwife was telling me they think it happens more times than people realise but they can't test it unless there's a DNA test, they think it's common in less developed countries." I explain quickly. When they told me i was delirious from giving birth so i didn't really understand. "Romeo is Romans, Matteo and Ilaria are Asher's." I look at him and the tear rolling down his cheek. "Matty, wanna go sit with your papa?"
Matteo gets up and sits with Asher, they look very alike once they're side by side. "I told them all about you guys. You were never kept a secret from them." I nudge Romeo, "Wanna go sit with your papa?"
"No." Hes the difficult one, him
I look at Roman, "We're still working on it." I move Ilaria so she isn't hiding her face in my neck.
Luca gasps, smiling widely, "Wow she's you."
"She looks a lot like me yeah, don't you baby." I tickle her a little which sends her beautiful giggle echoing the living room.
"Mommy stop." She laughs, moving away from me.
"Sorry baby." I wink, "Wanna see hello to Luca and Roman?"
She looks at them, smiles and Luca smiles widely back, "God she looks so much like you."
Ilaria smiles, she does look very alike to me, her eyes are shaped like Asher's and she's more tan.
"So what's up with my one?" Roman asks.
Seriously?
"Uh, Romeo shows signs of sociopathic tendencies. We're working with an occupational therapist and psychiatrist at the moment." I look at him, i love him the same though.
Roman stands up, stares at his child and walks to the back yard. I know how to get Romeo to like him, or tolerate him a little bit better.
I look back at Asher and Matteo, Matty was poking at his tattoos.
"Can i hold her?" Luca asks.
"Want Luca to hold you?" I ask Ilaria.
She gets off me and throws herself onto him, giggling in the process. "Oh, wow hello." Luca smiles widely again, "You're adorable."
Ilaria smiles back, "Can i color?"
"Your tattoos." I tell Luca, she likes colouring in anything. My walls suffer.
"Of course." Luca smiles.
I pick Romeo up, letting him wrap around me as i pick the colouring pens up for Ilaria. "Mommy's gonna be outside with Roman, be good for them." I kiss the top of Ilarias head and mess Matteo's up.
He smiles and looks up at Asher while Ash stares down at him.
I walk into the garden, "Momma put me down." Romeo says, i listen to him but grab his hand to make sure he doesn't run off.
"You have to talk to him."
"Need bathroom." He kisses my hand, then lets go and runs inside.
I watch him and when he's out of my sight, i turn to Roman. I walk to him, gently lifting my hand to his back.
He turns to face me and looks down into my eyes, "He's everything you didn't want."
"Doesn't mean i'm going to love him less." I move my hand to his arm. "He's so much like you. He's so clever for his age, they did a test recently and thinks he might have an eidetic memory, kids memory is wild, chance he knew it was you when he bumped into you." I run my arm across his biceps. God i want to hug him so tight right now.
"What else?" His hand gently rests on my hip.
"He's protective, like you. Has trouble showing affection to anyone but me. He doesn't really get along well with Matty and Ari but he tries. He likes his hair being played with." I look into his eyes, "Hes seriously like the mini you."
"How bad are his tendencies? How did you find out."
"He killed spiders and ants at first, moved on to mice and rabbits- our neighbour has rabbits, we had a dog in Greece and he tried to kill it. I knew then. I got him help straight away and we're working on everything. He hardly cries or shows emotion, i pieced it together."
"And his memory?"
He cares.
"He remembered street names really easily, first. He can put together a sentence with the complexity of someone who's seven, has the cognitive ability of someone twice his age. He's three. We have to wait till he's a little older to figure it out because he can grow out of it." I look down at his lips.
He looks down at mines and smiles, right before hugging me tightly. "Arabella please tell me you're going to stay."
"I want too." I hold him a little tighter.
I could feel him breathe in my scent, his hand in my hair.
I hear little footsteps and pull away from him, turning to look at Romeo to see had had a knife in his hand. "Romeo!" I gasp. How the fuck did he even get that?
He charges straight for Roman and that motherfucker just let his son cut him, a small slice on Romans forearm "Definitely my kid." He pulls the knife off Romeo, sighing a little. "Why doesn't he like me?"
"He doesn't like anyone." I say truthfully.
Romeo grabs my hand, "He's bad, momma."
"He's your dad."
"No." Romeo pulls me back into the house, i grab Roman to make sure he follows.
Once we're back in the living room, the others seemed to be getting along fine. Asher had moved to the couch Luca was on and Ilaria was talking to him too now.
"Take your shirt off." I say to Roman.
"No-"
"Just do it, trust me." I look at Romeo, "Can i take your shirt off?"
He shakes his head no, he'll change his mind.
Roman unbuttons his shirt and pulls it from his head, then sits back on the couch.
Romeo looks at him and i could see his eyes focus in on what i wanted it to focus in on.
Romans scars.
Romeo pulls his shirt off too and gets on the couch, looking down at his scar and then looking down at Romans scars. They have a scar in the exact same place.
Romeo had to go through a few surgeries, it left him with some scars that he hates. He thinks he's different because he doesn't see anybody his age with scars like he does.
He puts his hand on Romans scar and Roman tenses. I turn to look at the other seeing they were watching this too.
"Same." Romeo sighs, a sigh of happiness. "Mommy same." He turns to look at me.
I had to hold back tears. He's so cute.
"Yeah, same." I sit down.
He was so happy as he looked at Romans scars, even went as far as sitting on his lap so he could get a better look at them.
"How did it happen?" Roman asks.
"Surgery, he had a tumour on his lung so we had to do a big surgery to fix him." I remember when they told me he had cancer, it was one of the times i felt like running back to the guys before i was ready.
"Cancerous?" Roman looks up.
"Yes. He's all healthy now and we go for annual check ups and it's likely the tumours are never going to grow back." I smile. "It was more of a pregnancy thing and common within triplets."
Roman looks down at Romeo and smiles. Romeo was too busy paying attention to his scars to notice.
"Why... Uh... How... did you... DNA tests?" Luca asks.
"Mommy my hair." Ilaria jumps off him.
"Luca can braid hair." I hope he still can.
She looks at him with wide eyes, "Really?"
"Oh yeah, i used to do them all the time for your mom." He picks her up.
I pick up her hair brush that she decorated with stick on gems and her brothers buttons? I don't know how she got them. I grab some hair ties too and hand them to Luca.
"For your question, They all fertilised different eggs, it was clear that Romeo is Romans and Matteo and Ari are Asher's- I mean, well, i'm not too sure actually. The doctor and i just assumed that because of how it was and we didn't have any of y'all's DNA, we can do a test to confirm it if you want?" At first i thought Ilaria belonged to you but then when she grew older and her face shape started changing more we had a feeling she was Asher's."
"I would like the test." Asher smiles at Matteo, "Do you have pictures from it all?"
"I have loads. I made monthly scans and put them all in three scrapbooks for you guys."
"Mommy." Matteo calls, "I need potty."
"Oh, papa will take you." I look at Asher.
Matteo jumps off the couch and grabs Asher's hand while Asher looks at me shaking his head. "Arabella. I don't know-"
"He knows, he's just scared of the bathroom." I smile, i have to wait outside of it for him.
Asher gave me 'save me' eyes as Matteo drags him to the toilet.
Luca was stil braiding Ari's hair and Romeo was running his fingers over all of Romans scars.
I like this.
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THIS IS CUTE
also go check out my recent tiktok it's pretty funny i think :: httpsreading (ignore my account warning)
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