I'm back at Republic Records, but I'm nervous. Not only because I will record a song myself, but also because today I hear if I got the apartment or not. I hope I get it because I bid higher than the price they wanted. I guess the location persuaded me. I mean, who doesn't want to live nearby Central Park. I can run in the morning before work, or even take an evening stroll. I learned that Serena lives close to the apartment, so it's a win-win, right?
Yesterday I had the chance to look inside the apartment with Wyatt and Stacie. They both agreed that the apartment was something for me. They insisted that I bought a dog too, because of Central Park, but I'm not sure about that yet.
I'm excited about the apartment, mostly because of the location, but also because of the second bedroom. I know I shouldn't, but I did imagine Chloe sleeping there for a small moment. It would be nice to have her at my side again.
,,Are you ready, Beca?" Sutton looks at me, next to her is Emily.
,,I think so." I honestly say. ,,My mind isn't with the song at this moment. Can I please have a cup of coffee first? That will set my mind in the right direction."
,,Of course, I can't handle a morning without coffee." Sutton smiles at me. ,,I'll be right back. The regular?" I smile and nod. I'm still surprised Sutton remembers my favorite coffee. Sutton asks Emily for her favorite coffee before walking out of the room.
,,Was you mind with Chloe or Serena?"
,,Both, but that doesn't matter."
,,Beca, can you please listen to me?" Emily pleads like she does the whole week. Ever since I'm back Emily is desperate to talk to me. Probably about Chloe.
,,If I listen to your story, will you stop haunting me about it?" Emily nods. I sigh and sit down on the couch in the studio. Emily gladly smiles at me and sits across from me. ,,That night when the ship sank and you got pulled into the water, Chloe tried to find you but was devastated when she couldn't. For three months she was miserable, she didn't sleep, almost didn't eat... until Zoey, Aubrey, Nina, Kara, and me decided to take her out."
,,Look, I'm aware of what happened that night."
,,No, something else. Something Chloe is trying to make right, but Stacie won't let her. And now she's turning everyone against Chloe."
,,How exactly?"
,,Turning you against her for starters." She looks at me now. ,,Do you want to know what really happened that night?"
,,I don't have a choice, huh?"
,,You always have a choice, Bec but I think you need to understand why Chloe had sex with Chicago that night."
,,Okay, sure." Emily smiles thankfully.
,,Well, it started when Chloe had too much to drink. Aubrey told Chloe to get outside, get some fresh air, and sober up but instead, Chloe walked back to the bar, had some champagne, and flirted with Chicago. They started kissing and walked to the bathroom..."
,,We can skip that part, okay?!" I say, not wanting to know the details of the sex.
,,Nina walked in on them. Chloe was embarrassed, but Chicago wasn't. Nina never told us exactly what Chicago did or said, but you should find out yourself."
,,You know, until this point I'm still feeling angry towards Chloe. I mean, she knew who Chicago was and that he wanted to take her away from me. Being drunk isn't an excuse to have sex, you know." Emily sighs.
,,I know, Bec." I look at her to continue. Maybe it's time I hear different stories? Not that it changes anything, but still. Everyone is so desperate to tell me everything. ,,Chloe left the bathroom in a hurry, sobered up pretty quickly, and felt so guilty about what she had done. We knew she had to get out of there, so we took her back home. Her parents weren't happy about what she did, but understood, unlike your parents. When Aubrey told your folks what happened, they immediately stop seeing Chloe."
,,Understandable."
,,Chloe soon turned to her old habits after that night, until she found out that she was pregnant. She didn't want the child at first." I start laughing now. Emily gives me a surprised look.
,,Sorry, but I find that hard to believe. Chloe wanted nothing more than a child. She wanted to be a mother for as long as I know her."
,,Of course, she wants children, but only with you."
,,Well, that turned out differently, huh?" I stand up now, seeing Sutton returning. ,,Look, I have listened to you and sure I do feel a little pity for Chloe, but she was drunk. She did that to herself, she could've stopped drinking any moment at the party but didn't and Chicago was there. It's not like he drugged her, right?"
,,Not that I know."
,,See, then it was her own choice to have sex with him."
,,Beca, come on."
,,What do you want me to say, Em? That I forgive her? That I'm happy that she moved on? That I'm happy that she has a child? I can't! She is the love of my life and she betrayed me with the only person who could stand between us!"
,,I get that you're angry and I'm glad you took the time to hear the story about that night."
,,Stacie told me precisely the same, well except for the part that she felt guilty afterward."
,, allow others to tell you the story, and don't shut everyone out because of Chloe's mistakes. Emma, Liam, Kara... it might feel like they're siding with Chloe, but they aren't. They are just trying to keep the peace between Wyatt, your parents, Stacie, and the rest."
,,I'll think about it, okay?" Emily smiles and nods, afterwards I let Sutton know it's safe for her to come inside again. I need the coffee because this is confusing.
A little later I'm standing behind the microphone. I wrote a song about Chloe, we haven't talked but I imagined her seeing it in my mind. The lyrics for the chorus I wrote literally what Wyatt said to me a few nights ago when I asked him about Chloe.
,,So, are you ready?" Sutton looks at me.
,,Yes."
,,Well, let me hear it." Sutton enthusiastically says.
,,Wait!" Emily yells and grabs her phone. ,,First I want a picture of the best music producer in the world. Smile!" I smirk, feeling good about the praise, and look over to my left, so I can look into her camera. ,,Great, now let's hear your masterpiece!" I start the music, that I've recorded beforehand and place the lyrics on the stand.
I look up from the ground to see your sad and teary eyes
You look away from me, and I see there's something you're trying to hide
And I reach for your hand but it's cold, you pull away again
And I wonder, what's on your mind
And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake
You start to tremble and your voice begins to break
You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's, they were my mate's
And I feel the color draining from my face
And my friend said
I know you love her, but it's over, mate
It doesn't matter, put the phone away
It's never easy to walk away, let her go
It'll be alright
So I still look back at all the messages you'd sent
And I know it wasn't right, but it was fucking with my head
And everything deleted like the past, yeah, it was gone
And when I touched your face, I could tell you're moving on
But it's not the fact that you kissed him yesterday
It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake
And everything I know tells me that I should walk away
But I just wanna stay
And my friend said
I know you love her, but it's over, mate
It doesn't matter, put the phone away
It's never easy to walk away, let her go
It'll be okay
It's gonna hurt for a bit of time
So bottoms up, let's forget tonight
You'll find another and you'll be just fine
Let her go
But nothing heals, the past like time
And they can't steal, the love you're born to find
But nothing heals, the past like time
And they can't steal, the love you're born to find
I know you love her, but it's over, mate
It doesn't matter, put the phone away
It's never easy to walk away, let her go
It'll be okay
It's gonna hurt for a bit of time
So bottoms up, let's forget tonight
You'll find another and you'll be just fine
Let her go
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
I stop singing and look toward Sutton and Emily, who are both smiling.
,,Now, that's what I talk about!" Sutton walks over to me. ,,That song had everything!"
,,Thank you." I say and look over towards Emily, who knows exactly what the song was about.
,,I'll take this to Mr. Banks but I'm sure he finds it amazing too!" Sutton smiles again and then walks out of the room.
,,Beca, you wrote this song for Chloe, huh?" I nod. ,,And the chorus? Who said that to you? Who said that you should move on?"
,,Wyatt. He understands that I love her, but that's better for me to move on."
,,I know enough." I raise my eyebrows.
,,What do you mean by that?"
,,Wyatt has been awful to Chloe. I understand why he tries to set you up against her."
,,Hey, that's my brother you're talking about!" I point towards her.
,,Haven't you noticed anything different about him lately?"
,,Well, yes, but he's still my brother."
,,Who's trying to let you hate the love of your life because you still love her, don't you?"
,,Well look at you, Sherlock!" I say sarcastically. Of course, I still love Chloe, you never forget your first love.
,,I'm only saying you should talk to Mrs. Fuller from the diner. Chloe works there and a lot has happened when she was working."
,,I think about it, okay? It's a little weird to talk to someone who I don't know."
,,That's all I'm asking. You deserve the truth, Bec and the only one who can give that to you is Chloe herself. I know you're not ready to face her yet, but you have to eventually. She deserves a chance to explain herself." I know Emily is right, but I'm not ready yet. I just hope Chloe will understand that too.