Jason
🚨Warning this chapter includes child abuse and sexual assault 🚨
She thinks I don't trust her. She's wrong. I'm just a fucking coward. She has the right to know about everything. She doesn't deserve any of these. I don't care what she thinks, but I need to tell her the truth.
"It started when I was 7 years old..... We are a big family. For my grandfather, family is everything. He just wanted everyone to lead a healthy and happy life. My f-fa.....", I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes......I feel a soft touch on my shoulder. I opened my eyes.....she was in front of me. She didn't said anything but I felt like she was saying that she is with me.
This was enough for me to proceed. "My f-father, 'Victor Knight', and my uncle both worked together for the company.We were the picture perfect family. We used to be so happy. I had a good relationship with my father. Everything was going well, b-but my father started to act weird. He rarely used to come home, or any of our family occasions. My mama was worried about him, because he didn't spend time with us, but she was always there for me and Arlo. Arlo was just 3 years old. We both used to play and have fun", I smile while remembering the memories.
But my smile drops down as I further continue, "One day my mother decided to meet Victor in his office. S-she......she caught him cheating on her......with his secretary. She w-was broken, completely shattered. I never saw my mother so broken. She forgot her own dreams for him and he cheated on her. I remember our whole family was devastated because of him. Everyone got to know about his affair through media", I look at her and she was already looking at me with a sad face.
"He started blaming everything on my mother. But my grandfather trusted my mother more than him. After many arguments they finally came up with the divorce. My mother wanted the custody of mine and Arlo. But Victor didn't back down. He said he wanted to take custody of mine. He said he will not sign the divorce papers if he didn't had anyone's of our custody".
My hands started to shake when I remember everything. Kira placed her hand on top of mine.
She gives me a small nod, so I can continue, "My mother eventually got the custody of Arlo because he was small. Mine was a tough one. My case took more time than Arlo's case. But Victor knew that my mother will win the custody of mine too, because he cheated on her. One day he came to me and said that he missed me. We both had a perfect father and son bonding. My mother didn't wanted this to happen. At that time period I used to live with him. My grandfather fired him from his own company. I was just a kid I didn't understand anything, but I really thought that Victor would take a good care of me".
An unwanted chuckle escapes from my lips, realizing that I was so stupid back then.
"My family got disturbed because of him. The other night he just took me to another city and my family had no idea about it. He wanted to escape from the mess that he created. Things were not easy for him. As he struggled to get a job. His so called secretary was also living with us. No doubt, she always treated me as a burden, but because of my father she kept quiet. Victor was an egoistic man, he didn't like to be worked under someone. Everything started to be messy".
I take a moment to calm my emotions.
Her hand is on top of mine. She runs her thumb back and forth and soon it relaxes me. I hurt her so bad, but here she is.....always by my side, comforting me.
"Victor couldn't keep up with the job nor any company wanted to hire him because of his reputation. His girlfriend got a job and he was jobless. They both started having fights and arguments with each other. One day she just packed her bags and left and said that she doesn't want to live with him because he had no money and said that she was fed up of me.
My legs started shaking. My whole body was shaking in pure fear as I continue to tell her further.
"I think you are tired. It's enough for today, you sh____".
"No", I stop her. I know it's going to bring all memories back, but it's more important to tell her the truth.
"I'm fine. Do you have beer or wine? I think I really need some", I lean back and take the support of the kitchen counter.
"Umm.....you go back to the living room, I will bring up, okay?", she said.
"Okay", I said and leave the kitchen. I take a seat on sofa and try to calm myself down.
He was so caught up with his mistakes that he didn't even bother to enroll me in a school.
She brought a bottle of wine and takes a seat beside me. I drink some, until I was ready and I started to speak again.
"Victor was all alone. He used all the money in gambling. He started drinking continuously whether it was day or night. From there, he started treating me like trash. He started to take out his anger on me by scolding me. But days went by, when I was not allowed to go out of the house".
I still remember everything as if it was happened yesterday.
"He started to put restrictions on me. He always used to say that because of my mother and me, his life was destroyed. He even used to blame me that because of me, his girlfriend left him alone. He started beating me. I was just 7 years old, he didn't......he didn't e-even think o-once about me. He used to hit me like I was an object to him. He played loud music so that nobody can hear my cries".
I beg him to let me go, but he didn't care about anything. Kira was comforting me but I don't look at her.
"Everyday.....everyday w-was the s-same routine. The house......it became l-like a p-prison to me. He forcced me to do all the house works like cleaning, and even cooking. I-If the food was burnt....or he didn't liked it, he used to beat me. Day by day his actions were getting worse. He.......He started hitting with wooden bat, belts, steel rods. Sometimes he also used knife until I bleed.....a-and then just leave me".
Those scenes play in my mind again, and it brought all my fears back. I try to take deep breaths and try to stop my tears.
"He got involved with drug dealers and criminals. The place were I live was no a home for me. It was always crowed with people and have late night parties. I was no longer a son to him. Days went by, I accepted the beating he gave me. I thought it was my fate. It was more worse if I try to escape from him. Some days, I used to strave, but he didn't care".
I run my hand through my hair, my throat is dry and my stomach churns thinking about my past.
"Come here", I hear her voice and a look up at her. She extends her hand to me and give me a sad smile. I remove my shoes and lay my head on her lap and she runs her fingers through my hair, that relaxes me instantly.
"This went for 3 years..... and I was 10 year old. He was having late night party in the house. As usual I was serving them drinks and cleaning the stuff. A man was watching me continuously and he came up to me and grabbed my arm, I struggled to get out from his grip. Victor stopped him, they were rambling about something. The man said that he will give him money. My father looked at me and nodded back to him".
I never thought my situation would get any more worse than that.
"Victor, took me to a room. I was shocked because I was not allowed to sleep in bed. I used to sleep on floor. The man before I saw, came to the room and handed money to Victor. Then, I knew what was going to happen with me. I begged Victor..... I even said that I could take his beatings, but he just kicked me in my stomach and left the room. Then.......He.....I-I was...r-raped by the man".
I couldn't stop myself anymore. I felt tears in my eyes.
I clean them and continue, "I-I didn't know, why this was happening with me. He became greedy day by day. He wanted money, he used to invite his friends and sell me to his buddies. Everyday was a torture for me. I didn't even knew, when was the last time I saw the sun. It was painful......so much painful. I used to shout, but they didn't stop. Nobody heard my cries or came to help me. E-even......sometimes, there would be m-more than t-two men, they were all merciless. They didn't stop when I used to bleed and pass out".
I felt drops of tears on my cheek. I look up at her, tears were running down from her eyes.
"Jason I am sorry, but I-I can't___".
I look at her and wipe her tears from her face.
"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry", I interlock my hand with hers.
"No Jason, I am sorry. You suffered so much and I pressurized you", she said.
"No baby, you were right in your place and I should have shared it with you a long time ago", I kiss her hand.
"Jason, how did you escaped from him?", she asked.
"Well, I was 13 year old by then. He used to be highly intoxiated. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to go outside in the sun. I wanted to fight for me at least one time, I had nothing to lose. One day he forgot to lock my room. I thought this was my chance to escape. I slowly made out of the room and I saw he was watching television. I just wanted to escape, but he saw me and grabbed me by my hair. I took a lamp beside the table and smashed on his head. He started bleeding. I immediately ran from the house. It was late night I ran as fast as I can. I didn't even turn behind once, I just wanted to be free. But I didn't have much energy and I was tired and the next moment I knew I passed out. I don't remember anything, but the next day I found myself in the hospital".
I saw the sun was coming through the window and shinning bright on my face. I never thought I would see it again.
I took a short pause and continued, "As I opened my eyes I saw Doctors and Cops around me. I was terrified by their presence and I hide myself in the blanket. But they were calm and patient with me. They found me in the middle of road, and saw all the marks on my body. They said that they will help me. So I told them everything......they all were shocked. Few cops went to check the place......but of course he was not there. But they said that they saw his blood on the floor. Then they contacted my family. They started to find Victor. By evening my family arrived and I saw my mother after so many years. As the moment she saw me she started crying and my grandpa too. She was talking to me but I didn't respond, I was quite. I thought it was a dream. I didn't spoke to anyone and they respected that.
My family knew what happened to me....everyone was shocked. My mother blamed herself for what happenmed with me.
Kira kissed my hand and runs her fingers through my hair.
"After what happened with me I became distant to everyone. I didn't like if someone used to be closed to me. Every night I had nightmares of him torturing me".
I run my thumb at back of her hand.
"Why where you afraid to tell me?", she asked. Because I was over thinking. I got up from her and sit close beside her.
"I.......I thought... after knowing what happened to me, you would leave me", I didn't look at her and she palced her hand on my face and made me look at her.
"Why?", her eyes never left mine. Because I was stupid and idiot.
"M-My w-whole body is tainted. I'm tainted. I hate my body, I always cover it up. After knowing about my past and about my nightmares, no doubt everyone will think I'm a coward. Even I can say that I'm not brave. Why anyone would stay with some coward, who cries everynight. Every women thinks and dreams of a man who can protect her and keep her safe. But.....but I think I failed in that too", I didn't look at her nor did she said anything.
"I....I don't want you to pity me, nor I want you to forgive me. I....I just want a second chance. That night I planned dinner for us. I was going to confess my feelings to you...but I saw Victor. I don't know how....the face, the man that haunted me, was right in front of me. I don't know if he recognised me or not, but I was scared. I was not in my right mindset. I didn't knew what was happening with me. I thought he was you and I......", I took a moment. I don't know how to say this to her. I really can't explain the situation to her, so I just close my eyes. I don't know what she is going to say, but at the end she is always going to be the only woman I love.
"Jason, you are the one who I want. You protect me, take care of me and you love me. That's what's important for me".
After everything she still choose me and love me. What did I ever do, that I got her.
Kira Regina White. My Kira....My baby.
She cupped my face in her hands, "You were a kid Jason and yet you fought till the end. You are so brave____".
"But Kira_____
"No Jason. I want every single part of you, the good and the bad. I want everything of yours to be mine. I want you......
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Hey guys!! I know it's been a long time since I updated. I'm sorry I had some important stuff that needed to be taken care of. But anyways thank you so much for being patient with me. Please keep supporting because it means a lot to me.😊