Octavia's guide to the hell that is the English language
ROGER TAYLOR
/ro·juh tay·luh/
(n.) The drummer for the british rock band Queen and lifelong best friend to Brian May
⤷Alternate Definition- World renowned car fucker
⤷See Also- The character played by Benjamin Hardy (Jones) in Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
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IMESSAGE GC
"MISSION: ABBEY ROAD GETAWAY"
Joe (Eagle 1)
Gwilym (Been there done that)
Ben (Currently doing that)
Rami (Happened once in a dream)
Allen (If I had to pick a dude)
Lucy (Eagle 2)
Eagle 1
So that's my plan
Currently doing that
Fuckin hell mate... I've never seen you work so hard on something before.
Joey's in loooooooooove
Eagle 1
hello???
Been there done that
It's good mate, flawless even
Eagle 2
give me creds!!
Eagle 1
Right Lucy helped with the ideas but *I* planned it all
I need your guys help though
Happened once in a dream
go on
Eagle 1
Well I need to figure out how to get Octavia ready for the trip without telling her all about it, and I know how she is about surprises.
Been there done that
Right well, we'll all be home around 7:30? Meet at my place to discuss details.
Eagle 1
Allen, you're on Octavia distraction duty.
Currently doing that
What about me? If anyone can keep the ladies in check, it's me
Eagle 2
Oh barf
Happened once in a dream
Ben you MUST control yourself, that's Joes woman!!
Eagle 1
This is exactly why you're NOT on Octavia watch dude
Currently doing that
Never forget Joe, she wanted to grab MY ass first
Eagle 1
And she wants to grab mine for the rest of her life so HA
Eagle 2
Ladies please!
Allen will be on Octavia Distraction Duty
If I had to pick a dude
Alright, what do I with her?
Been there done that
Food.
Eagle 1
Food.
Eagle 2
Food.
If I had to pick a dude
Food it is then. Very predictable
Been there done that
See you guys at 7:30, I'll make sure she's out of the house
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Like a sigh of relief, Joe felt like he could finally breath. A weight had been lifted off his chest that had been there since the very beginning of August. Everyone knew-- well, everyone already knew, but now it was confirmed.
He was in love with his bass instructor.
Octavia. The very thought of her now made him feel like a teenager with their first crush. It felt so freeing to be able to express such a hard and fast emotion openly. He no longer had to feel like he was keeping a dark secret, especially when everyone was accepting of him. The teasing no longer felt like berates for being so easily fallen but rather uplifts of encouragement disguised as light-hearted shoves to true happiness. Especially whatever Ben was doing.
Sure Octavia was messy. She had trauma and an entire mosoleum of skeletons in her closet, but her past didn't represent her now, especially when she had worked so hard to change. Besides, Octavia was a lot of fun. She knew how to actually let loose and be care-free even with everything people put her through, even what he put her through. Octavia was the girl for him.
But the past was in the past and the future looked as promising as ever.
Joe wasn't one to dwell on the past either, he had been put through his own train of trauma, downs, disappointments, and any other horrible event you could think of. The two weren't so different after all.
And Joe knew that a force so strong that could uproot, replant, nourish, and blossom his life in such a refreshing way was a force worth keeping-- a force worth reaching out, grabbing, caressing, pulling in, and never letting go of.
Tomorrow was the day, he was setting up everything for the best trip ever.
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Today was another day and Octavia was bored. Like out-of-her-mind ear splintering bored. She was getting stockholm syndrome from her fridge, which was basically empty at this point. A day in the life of Octavia looked like waking up late, grazing between her room, the living room, and the kitchen. The kitchen where she would open the fridge every hour and find the exact same foods, or lack thereof. She would hover over her phone waiting for a text or phone call from anyone. And then she would go to bed late, staying up doing god knows what and falling asleep to the false fantasies she would create in her head. But those were just for her.
A change.
She needed a change. Specifically of scenery. She went down the list of people she could call to hang out with but they were either working or black listed. Damn. She really needed a life.
She decided to get out of the house anyway, maybe a nice walk, lunch, a visit to the farmers market and the book store perhaps? That sounded like an ideal day to Octavia if she'd ever had one.
Octavia had read somewhere that in order to feel good you had to look good. Octavia hadn't felt good in awhile. She had one singular moment of clarity when Lucy suggested doing a small photoshoot in which she got her latest Instagram picture, but other than that it's been messy hair and sweatpants galore.
She picked up her phone ready to dial up Amelia to ask her for fashion advice when she realized that they were definitely, fully, and 100% still in a fight. Damn again. No more personal stylist. But no worries, Octavia definitely had it. She had full confidence in herself that she would not leave the house looking like a total and complete mess. First step into the big girl world- no longer relying on others.
After about an hour or so she finally landed on the perfect outfit. She chose a classic demin pair of overalls to go with her white t-shirt and her very favorite pair of red converse that never leave her feet if she's leaving the apartment. She grabbed a tote bag on the way out and headed for whatever she found interesting on her walk.
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Octavia's first step was absolutely getting a smoothie. She loved trying new stuff all the time and she absolutely loved getting drinks. Not many bad days couldn't be fixed without a drink of any kind.
She decided on some type of green, kale blueberry banana smoothie from a local shop. Of course, it was delicious. She had also never seen this much sun in London so she determined it was gonna be a good day.
Well, she was having a good day, until her phone started buzzing like crazy to which she just had to look to see what was going on. Perhaps it was Joe?
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NEWS ARTICLE
#BORHAP BASS INSTRUCTOR STRUTS LONDON STREETS... SOLO??
By: Blaire Lewis || headquarters
Spotted just this afternoon on the streets of busy London is the hired bass instructor for Bohemian Rhapsody, hitting theatres around the world in the fall of 2018.
Octavia Lee, Gwilym Lee's (Brian May castee) little sister, was hired as the bass instructor for John Deacon castee Joseph Mazzello III, as you all know.
But recently, or should i say, JUST recently, she has been seen out in public. We haven't seen baby Lee in a hot minute, staying locked up in her shared apartment since filiming. She's taken a little hiatus from the public not being seen out and about since her 25th birthday some time ago to which it is confirmed the entire cast was invited to.
But where has our little starlet been? Only time will tell considering this is the first time she's been seen out in public without her little side show Joe to tag along.
perhaps we have our first #borhapbreakup on our hands. I know, insane. But before you call me crazy, listen to this.
Octavia is recorded to not have been on set since the first few film days. Fired pehaps? Black listed from the cast? But how could that be possible when her very own brother is a star? So the only other plausible cause: Joe and Octavia totally got into it and have already broken up. Oh how fame ruins you.
Octavia's fifteen minutes of fame is far from over though with filming still going strong. Guess without a Mazzello on her arm she'll have to leech off her brothers fame with several publicity meets and confrences being in the borhap cast's future. Will she make an appearance? Guess I'll have to find out.
And yikes can we talk about those converse? As an up and coming star I'd be embarressed to be related to such a fashion disaster. Joe must've kicked her to the curb covered in dust.
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Octavia's first reaction was to be upset, to run, hide, cover her face. Anything to get out of Blaire's focus. She almost cried, almost walked out of the shop and walked back home trying to cover her face along the way.
But, she didn't. She collected herself, brushed down her overalls and patted her face, screenshotted the notification, and called Gwil.
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Incoming call from Octopus to Car Fucker 2.0
Connecting...
"H...Hello? Octavia?"
"Ah fuck... I meant to call Gwil."
"What's wrong? I'm no big bro but lay it on me, I can take it."
"You know, the machoness doesn't translate over phone, Benny"
"Maybe I was asking a genuine question, also if it didn't translate you wouldn't have brought it up. Check mate little Lee."
"Benjamin Hardy"
"That's my name, don't wear it out"
"ugh... well, do you remember Blaire Lewis, that rag who wrote about Joe and I being a couple?"
"Yes, the bitch"
"Well she did it again, we're broken up now apparently and I can't get away from her. I don't understand what I did to deserve such...such... defamation!!"
"Alright well, where are you? We'll send someone to come pick you up and we can discuss this at set, we'll all be leaving shortly for lunch anyway."
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At set, Gwilym was getting his wig adjusted, as fluffy as ever. Rami was shrugging off a white lizard-esque jacket as Ben and Joe were sat against the wall waiting. Allen walked out after getting his Prenter wig removed, bald cap still on and everything.
"Awww Rami looks like the most adorable lizard ever!" Allen announced in a mocking baby voice. Rami did a mock bow and threw the jacket over his shoulder.
"Well if he's the lizard, I'm the poodle!" Gwil added back.
They all had a good laugh until Ben's phone began to ring. They all had a confused face when Ben announced it was Octavia, but proceeded to answer anyway.
After a few minutes of conversation and everyone listening in, Ben hung up.
"Whelp Gwil, time to play night in shining armour."
"Why's that?" he questioned as he was ushered to a chair to further the adjustment process.
"Because, that silly little Blaire twat wrote another article about Octavia and she's had enough of it. We're discussing it here and putting an end to it."
"She wrote another article?" Gwilym questioned, ears perked at the sound of Blaire's name.
"Yeah I'll send you the link" Ben announced. He searched for the article not having read it himself, copied the link and messaged it to their group chat.
Gwilym and Joe huddled around Joes phone as they scanned the news article once and then a second time.
"This is ridiculous." Rami mentioned when he got to the bottom of the article. "Octavia's such a sweet girl too. I've had my fair share of bottom feeders like Blaire, it can really ruin you."
"Joe do you know who this Blaire chick is?" Allen asked, handing Gwil his phone back.
"I have no idea. I've heard of a a Blaire before but it's been many years, maybe we went to high school together?" He guessed.
Joe just could not believe what he was reading. Broken up? They weren't even together, ever. The audacity she had to keep writing such things was beyond him. He wanted to hug Octavia, to hold her, to tell her she would never have to worry about anything ever again. He worried that she was upset, off on a bench overthinking everything. He wanted to be the one to rescue her, but he understood why it must be Gwilym. Joe figured that the nonchalance in his voice meant there was nothing to panic about. Still, he worried about her. It made him sick.
As everyone went back to their normal business, Joe pulled out his phone and read the article again. He analyzed this one more closely. He realized Blaire's words rang of jealously. What was she jealous about? Did she even know who she was dealing with?
Ben was examining Joe's behavior. As a best friend you have a knack for observing odd behaviors and Joe was absolutely acting odd. He could tell he was rereading the article he already re-read. He clearly was overthinking everything.
Ben hoped that Blaire wasn't getting in the way of Joe and Octavia. He recalled all of the nights after work, after any party that Octavia threw that didn't go perfectly, where Joe would slouch his way to where Ben was staying, crash on his couch, and try not to cry out of frustration that his advances were continually ruined by ex boyfriends and random girls that come out of the works to ruin his life.
Ben knew that Joe was worried about Octavia, but Ben also knew that someone had to worried about Joe, and that might as well be him.
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liked by brianmayforreal and 12,546 others
benhardy1: throw back to day 3 of rehearsal with some visual evidence of how well we clicked as a band. Oh you're my best friend @joe_ mazzello
view all 9.67k comments
username: Hardzello
⤷username: someone trademark this rn 😭
username: is Joe's butt as comfortable as you make it out to be?
⤷benhardy1: absolutely 10/10 comfort
mrgwilymlee: I'm pretty sure I joined in as soon as I took the photo....
username: JOES DAD SHOES
brianmayforreal: always sleeping on the job !! Reminds me of Rog . You boys are fantastic haha ! - Bri
joe_mazzello: #beautysleep
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AN:: are you guys enjoying summer?? Feels so nice to finally have a break from school. Final exams were absolute hell 🤪
~Tav🦆