so I've been stocking up on chapters the last two days when I've had some energy to spare so here is another chapter. (i also have two other chapters in stock for tomorrow and the day after or something)
-Ariana's POV-
Currently i'm getting ready for the NBA half time thing. Its really exiting its a big deal! Little nervousness of course but not that much. The only thing bothering me is that Sean hasn't called or texted since last night. No nothing. I mean just a supportive text isn't wrong to want right? I always send one to him if I'm not at whatever he has going on.
I just need to shake it off. Okay so he hasn't contacted me in a wile I don't want to play games so I'm not going to call him either. Im a strong independent woman I don't need a puppy guy to follow me to make it trough. No.. If he don't fell the need to show his support fine I don't need it either. I have myself and thats more than good enough.
Really it is right? Atleast thats what Im telling myself maybe ill believe it eventually.
***
«Ariana you're on in five» scooter says as he utters me towards the lift thats talking me up to the stage. «You're amazing you're fabulous and they're going to love you. Go out there and show them what you can do okay? Show them that your not thing child many is making you out to be. Show them that you've worked your way to the top and deserves to stay there. This is a really important performance Ariana. No pressure or anything but its live worldwide so do you and you'll be fine»
«Thanks scooter. I needed to hear that» I give him a quick hug before taking my place in between Nekai and Tracy on the lift. Just as I get my mic I can hear the intro starting to play and the lift slowly moving its way up to the stage.
Just as my head peeks up all my fear is somehow immediately wiped away. Gone with the wind literately and its just this stage, my loves all over the world and right now that matters.
***
We are all back at the apartment celebrating the flawless performance. Everyone hit their marks and was on time and I didn't mess up any lyrics or notes. I cant ask for more than that really. Its a good day indeed!
Sean has still not called and its been 24h now but honestly I don't know whats going in but right now something tells me that I shouldn't call him that I should just wait until I get back to LA and talk to him then. I really don't want to fight now that I leave really soon. When I say soon I mean soon we're talking about days here! Thats why we are going back to LA tonight. We are leaving for the airport shortly we just wanted to all get together and have a short celebration especially with my nyc friends of how far I've come since staring in community theatre home in boca
Anyhow If Sean wants to be childish or whatever he got going on fine I just cant worry about that now and just wait to I get to talk to him
***
On the flight back to LA its sort of quiet. Everyone is kinda doing their own thing. Either watching Netflix, editing video footage or whatever everyone is up to. Me on the other hand is reading a mail Joe sent me about the OLT video that just dropped. Apparently some irrelevant duo or something down in Australia is clamming that we stole the concept of them when we have never seen their video before and they're not really that similar tbh they're just looking for attention.. Im not worried about it tbh cause another group called out the duo that they stole their concept first and no one really own is and to leave me Alone. Well something like that anyway.
But thats not really whats getting my attention tbh what is is the clip Nicki posted of me and her dancing I love the clip but the comments are.. I don't even know what to call it other than discussing? Body slamming? Invading what should not be acceptable to talk about? All the above sounds better. Im just sick and tired of everyone trying or wanting to tear me down for my youthful look. Like its not my fault I have a little body. And when did I t become acceptable to talk like that about others? I know that when I was young my mom would have been beyond mad if I acted like that. I just cant even deal its discussing.
So much for body boundaries right?
*** MEANWILE IN LA ***
- Sean's POV -
«Zeno I don't know what to do. She is probably pissed at me which I don't want. I just this thing I've been thinking about doing is weighing so down on my mind that I don't want it to slip to her if Im not sure what I want to do yet» putting my head in my hands I let out a sigh
«Bro if you tell me what this thing is maybe that will help?» Zeno ushers
After looking around the room for a second I answer him «I've been thinking about...» I start talking but stop unsure if I should say it or not.
«Man you should just say it and get over with it cause I'm not going to leave this alone before you tell me. Cant have you going all distracted on me»
Letting out a big sigh I say «okay don't tell a soul but I've been thinking about maybe putting a ring on her finger.»
As I said it Zeno's eyes grew wide and I get really insecure and regretful that I even said it. «Sean listen to me. Im going to be honest with you. Ariana is 21 years old and just getting started with her adult life. She still lives with her mother and is nowhere near ready to leave the nest. I get you love her and she loves you thats obvious but you gotta think about whats best for her. She is the total opposite of independent, she is getting better but no where near where she would haft to be to get engaged let alone married. Its up to you but I think if you ask her to marry you she will get scared and run away. She is fragile. You do what you think is the right thing to do but I don't think its a good idea. I really don't Sean»
Taking it what Zeno is saying I realize that he is right 100% accurate. «Its just hard to face that maybe the age is a problem after all»
Zeno looks at me weirdly «it doesn't have much to do with the age Sean and Im not saying you shouldn't be with her. You absolutely should be with her cause you love her and she makes you happy. But thats what it has to be for now. She is going away on her first world tour! It will be the longest time she has ever been away from home. She is bringing her mother with her to even make it trough. Really she isn't ready for a commitment like that. I know you want her to be but she isn't. But you cant hold that agaings her either. That wouldn't be fair»
«Then what do I do then!? She is coming back here in a matter of hours and I wasn't too nice to her last time I talked to her, and I haven't dared to call her since. I get she isn't ready but what about me! Im a grown ass man I want to start a family before its to late! I just... I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to be with Ariana I really do she makes me happy. But I don't know that I will get my happy ending with her. I just don't know if in this case love can be enough!»
Zeno raised his hand and slapped me across my face, lightly but still «what the fuck did you do that for!»
«To get you to stop talking nonsense! You're not ready either Sean you're still halfway a child and you know that too. You're just reacting to the fact she is leaving soon. Yes she is leaving to go on tour but remember that you will see her and its temporary. So stop this nonsense and get ready to great your girl when she gets here. Cause you better be out of this self distructing phase cause its not doing you any good..»
__________________________-
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