The crew (minus AG) is 16. AG is 15.
I haven't slept all week. I haven't eaten in 2 days. I haven't had any time to myself all month.
My feet ache.
My stomachs hurts.
My head is pounding constantly.
I finally sit down on my bed. My eyes flutter closed but sleep doesn't come because I'm interrupted.
"Gilly! We need your help in the kitchen! Someone set a rat loose!" Someone calls.
I let out a groan and force myself to stand up.
My hands are red and raw from working in the garden for 5 hours. My arms are sunburnt and covered in bug bites from forgetting to put on sunblock and bug spray. My face is just as sunburnt but it has far less bug bites.
I walk down to the kitchen and feel pain shoot up my legs with each step.
Jax is away with his family. He has been for the past 2 months, which is kind of a good thing because if he were here he'd be upset at the condition I'm in.
I enter the kitchen, find the mouse, trap it, and let it go outside.
"Gilly! We need your help!"
"No, we need Gilly's help!"
"No! I need Gilly right now! Y'all can have her help later!"
I close my eyes and take a breath.
Surface Pressure from Encanto
"I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous, I'm as tough as the crust of the Earth is.
I move mountains, I move churches, and I glow cause I know what my worth is.
I don't ask how, hard the work is, got a rough indestructible surface. Diamond and platinum, I find 'em, I flatten 'em.
I take what I'm handed, I'll break what's demanded, but
I do everything they ask.
Under the surface, I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus
Under the surface, was Hercules ever like 'Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus'?
Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service
What am I if I can't help people?
A flaw or a crack, the straw in the stack, that breaks the camels back, what breaks the camels back, it's
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa
Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip, 'till you just go pop, whoa
Give it to your hero, your hero's 'older' give her all the heavy things we can't shoulder, who am I if I can't run with the ball, if I fall to
I'm so much younger than most of the people who need my help. Why can't they get Pete?
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick, 'till it's ready to blow, whoa
Give it to your hero, your hero's stronger, see if she can hang on a little longer, who am I if I can't carry it all, if I falter
What if I make a mistake?
Under the surface, I hide my nerves and it worsens, I worry something is gonna hurt us
Under the surface, the ship doesn't swerve as it heard how big the iceberg is
Under the surface, I think about my purpose, can I somehow preserve this?
Line up the dominoes, a light wind blows, you try to stop it toppling, but on and on it goes
But wait, if I could shake, the growing weight of expectation would that free some room up for, joy, or relaxation, or simple pleasure?
I just want to relax.
Instead we measure, this growing pressure, keeps going, keep going, cause all we know is
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa
Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip, 'till you just go pop, whoa
Give it to your hero, it doesn't hurt and see if she can handle everybody's burdens, watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks! No mistakes
I'm always bending over backward for people I don't know. I never have time to myself.
Just pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick, 'till it's ready to blow, whoa
Give it to your hero and never wonder, if the same pressure would have pulled you under
Who am I if I don't have what it takes?
Enchantasia needs me. I don't have room for mistakes.
No cracks, no breaks, no mistakes, no pressure."
I open my eyes and realize that I'm on the roof. I look around and see Jax's carriage arrive at the school.
He wasn't supposed to be back yet! I thought I still had a week before I had to make it look like I've been sleeping regularly! I've only slept twice since he's been gone!
I run down the stairs and to my dorm room. I slam the door shut behind me as I hear people start calling my name.
No ones here.
I sink to the floor and pull my legs to my chest. I start breathing slowly, taking deep breaths in and out. I can feel all of the pain in my hands, arms, feet, legs, and face. I can feel how tired I am.
Someone knocks on the door.
"What do you want?" I ask. It comes out harsher than I thought it would.
"Thief? It's Jax. Can I come in?" A voice responds.
I stand up quickly. I open the door and see the blonde haired, violet eyed prince standing there. He hugs me. The door closes behind him.
"I missed you! And everyone else. But mostly you." He says.
"Hi! Long time no see! I missed you too, but I thought you were going to be gone for another week." I say.
"I was. But I convinced Father to let me come back early! Isn't that...-" He freezes. I know why. He took my hands when he spoke and I wasn't able to stop myself from flinching. Pain shot through me because of the raw skin.
He starts to look at my hands, then my arms, then my face. His eyes meet mine. He knows. He knows how tired I am. How much I've been working.
He pulls me into another hug.
"You've been working too hard." He states. It's not a question.
There's another knock on the door and it bursts open. People rush in and start yelling about how they need my help.
"Gilly, I need your help! The rat came back!"
"Gilly, someone stole my cupcakes again!"
"Gilly! We need your help!"
"I know." I whisper in a small voice.
"We need your help with this!"
"Well I need your help with this!"
"And I need you for this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this!"
"I need you to help with-"
"I KNOW! But have you ever stopped to think that I might need me too?" I ask.
There's a pause.
"What do you mean?"
"She means that she needs to help herself too. Now get out, she needs to sleep." Jax says, pushing everyone out of my dorm.
"Thank you." I whisper as I sit down on the floor.
"You're welcome." He says, sitting down next to me.
He pulls me into a hug and I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I'm so tired." I yawn.
"Go to sleep. I'm going to say hello to the rest of our friends. I'll be back with food when I'm done." Jax tells me.
He kisses my forehead, then carefully stands and helps me up. He leads me over to my bed and I lay down.
"Goodnight." He says, walking out the door and turning off the light.
He's the best boyfriend.