TW:- References to violence and abuse.
Tanner
"So, Boyo, it's just the two of us now. Wanna tell me what happened to ye? Ye look like yer choking on yer liver."
I give Galen a look: "How is that even physically possible?"
We left the others at the restaurant and made our way on foot up to Haunted Hill, expertly ignoring Dex's concern.
No, there are no ghosts up here. The hill got its name because of reports of weird sounds carried down by the wind from here. The bulk of those sounds are produced by couples using it as a hook-up spot. I'm up here with Galen, but the only hooking up we're doing is with some beers and a packet of weed.
I don't normally like the stuff much. The pot, I mean. I like the beer. But tonight, I just want to get out of my headspace. Hanging out with the guys helped a lot, but too many memories I still cannot deal with have been stirred up like sediment at the bottom of clear water. Everything is murky now, and I don't know how to get it to settle back to the bottom. Out of sight, out of mind.
I need to be unconscious.
I'm not sure what's eating Galen. I could see during dinner that he was feeling as crappy as I was. As the evening grew darker and the night started to creep in, the feelings just got worse, as it always does. Finally, neither of us was okay anymore, and we decided to come up here.
It is disturbingly easy for guys like us to score weed in Briar Cove. The place doesn't generally have much of a drug problem, but we know where to go looking. The town, small as it is, has its dark underbelly like any other town. Getting beer is not a problem. Galen is already 18 and can buy it legally if we can find an open liquor store.
We always know where to find one.
The weed is loosening my tongue, and I'm talking before I've even decided to do so.
"I found out today... that when a gay guy grabs your junk, and you punch him in the face... mostly out of reflex, you're a homophobe." That came out easily enough, but now I'm feeling a little sick again.
It's safe to tell Galen these things. He'll rage with me, get drunk with me, get high with me. If I really want to storm over to the studio, kill my agent and wreck the place, he'll happily do that with me too, but he won't go all vigilante on me.
If I told Hunter what happened today during the photo shoot, he'd lose his friggin' mind and go do all of those things without my consent or cooperation. The killing and wrecking part, I mean.
Jake is more subtle; he'll probably just build a bomb from common household supplies and mail it to the guy. Ash would kick ass and get arrested for attempted murder unless someone actually dies...
I cannot even begin to think about Paisley's revenge; her imagination can be pretty warped, and if she's angry, there's no telling what she'd do. She scares the crap out of me when she's really angry. She's about 1.59 meters tall and weighs less than some of my organs, but that doesn't stop her from being fiercely protective of me. Of all of us.
I cannot tell any of them, but I can tell Galen. Besides, I'm not all that sober anymore, so the words don't stick; they actually make their way out of my mouth. I didn't even know I was going to say that.
"That is effed up! Ye should quit that job, seriously, ye should," is Galen's sage advice. "Wait, maybe ye're fired now."
"No, Mason called me earlier. He said I didn't break the one model's nose, and the other one's shoulder is going to be fine. I didn't completely dislocate it... only slightly."
I was kind of disappointed to hear that. I really tried to break the bastard's arm when he grabbed me and tried to restrain me to do hell knows what to me.
"They're all so very friggin' sorry now. He said he thought I'd be into it, and he forgot about my glitter allergy." I laugh, though none of this is funny at all. "I have a glitter allergy. Yeah, let's call it that..."
I laugh again, I might be higher than I thought. Am I sounding a little slurred? I think I'm sounding a little slurred.
"I have another shoot Monday night. I'm almost done. I just have to hold out until my birthday. Only about three more bookings left. Then I'm gonna kick that bastard's arse so hard; his butt is going to protrude from his nose. He's going to have to sit on his face for the rest of his life."
Galen is blinking at me, struggling to focus on my face. Three beers and a couple of joints in, he is not all that sober anymore, either.
"He thinks ye're gay? He set ye up with some gay guys? To do what exactly?"
I shrug, taking a drag of the joint he hands me. I watch the smoke as I blow it out, trying to make it form rings. It somehow seems to be very important that the smoke forms perfect rings. It doesn't; the rings are all lopsided, and I'm very disappointed.
"I don't know what he's thinking. I've told him like a million times that I'm not doing anything pornographic and no posters for adult shops or strip clubs or whatever. I'm not going down that road. I don't want stuff I do now to come back and bite me in the arse later! But he keeps on trying to lure me into it.
"A couple of weeks ago, I had a shoot with some older women that started to turn uncomfortable. Reeeeeeeeally hot ones. Another time there were two college students, a guy and a girl. Today it was two gay strippers. It always starts out as a photo shoot for whatever project it is he has lined up, and then, under his step-by-step instructions, it just grows weirder and weirder, until I just bail.
"He is apparently trying to find the right bait to get me on board. He keeps on talking about how much money we could make if I would just play ball. I was already not okay when we were stripped down to our jeans, and these two guys suddenly started to throw glitter paint at me.
"Friggin' glitter, Gan! I could hardly breathe. I was battling to fight a massive panic attack. I didn't realise just how bad I still..." I gasp for breath, fighting against a wave of nausea.
"Mason was happy with the pictures because apparently, the bewildered, I'm-gonna-frigging-die look was what he was going for. I couldn't speak, I was freaking out. It was too m-much... Next thing, the two dudes get rid of their jeans, and they're putting their hands all over me. And they were... getting really... well, you know... I didn't kill anybody..."
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," Galen says eloquently, and he almost looks sober again. "Mate!"
"Yeah. Turns out, the project was posters and crap that will be plastered life-size all over the interior of a gay strip club. I mean. A strip club, McKenna! I wanted to scrap the pictures and destroy his camera, but I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
"There was glitter everywhere. I'm probably not that recognizable in the pictures because of that glitter... Saved by the bloody glitter, huh? Isn't that ironic?" I laugh, sounding a little hysterical in my own ears. It's not such a good idea to talk about this. Talking about it makes it seem more real, somehow. This is why I usually just shut the hell up when bad things happen.
Bloody weed. I hate the stuff.
My skin still crawls when I think about all that glitter. If it wasn't for Willow and her cleanser, I don't know what I would've done. Probably used a potato peeler on my skin. I take another deep drag of the joint to drive the rising panic back again.
I keep on having flashbacks of the two guys and their rough handling. Well, they didn't know that I wasn't informed of Mason's plans and didn't give my consent. They probably also didn't know that I'm not into men.
Hell knows what Mason told them about me for them to act like that. The guy is a pro-liar. They didn't know, I'll give them that, at least. Still... Awful memories I thought I'd dealt with just keep on crawling out. I don't want them in my head.
"I've told Mason, over and over, no glitter and no strip clubs, no porn, nothing like that. I want to have a life after this! He thought that I might be into guys since I turned down hot women and the college girl.
"He doesn't seem to get that what I'm turning down is a career as an adult entertainment star. There's no co-star he could line up that will pull me in. I want to be done with him, but I need the bloody money..."
A couple of years ago, when I was desperate and naive, I let him take photographs that showed way more skin than I really wanted to show. He used to blackmail me with those to stop me from quitting. I've outgrown any kind of inhibitions I used to have, and I decided ages ago that he can do with those pics whatever he wants. I was a lot younger in them, and he could get into serious trouble if he released those in the wrong place.
Bloody bluffer.
"I'm sick of his bullshit. He's a friggin' pervert."
Galen throws an arm across my shoulders, and we sit like that for a while, quietly passing the joint back and forth until it's gone. He stopped asking me to get him in so that he could work for Mason ages ago. I've threatened to whip his arse if he tried to do so behind my back.
He would let Mason lure him into crap and mess up his future. Galen doesn't give a shit about his future. I do; I give a shit about his future. He's 18 now, and he could sign with a decent agency without his mother's help, but he seems to have lost interest.
"Ye should seriously just tell Drake about it," Galen says, taking a swig from his fourth bottle of beer. "Problem solved. No more Mason. Bastard's got it coming."
I laugh, shaking my head. "You just want to see Hunter arrested, don't you?"
"Naw, believe it or not, I don't hate Drake half as much as he hates me. If he gets arrested, I might actually be sad. There might even be tears."
I laugh again. "You're so full of shit."
"Dex loves him, and so does Emmy. It would be their tears, not mine. Probably yers too. I cannot stand their tears... not yers either... And Paise..." He is chewing harshly on his lower lip. He might draw blood if he keeps that up.
We're not going to talk about my cousin tonight. Galen's mind always makes a turn around her when he gets high. I know it's not what happened between him and Paisley that's depressing him tonight. That happened years ago. Water under the bridge. It's my turn to lend him a comforting shoulder.
"Your turn," I say, putting a hand on his back, patting it slowly.
"Me mam said that she should've left me in Ireland with me dad. She said Rob would never have left her if I weren't here. Emmy's little heart would never have been broken if I weren't..." his voice breaks, and he drinks some more beer to swallow his heartache.
His mother is always saying crap like that when she's drunk. It doesn't hurt him any less, though. Especially when she drags Emmy into it, Galen worships his little sister.
I move my hand up to his shoulders and draw him into a side hug. Sure, he'd been a wild, difficult boy, but from what I've seen, Galen's stepfather not being able to keep his pants on around other women is what made him leave, not Galen's behaviour.
Besides, Galen only really started to act out badly after Rob left. He is the way he is today because his mother is always taking out her anger on him. I guess he reminds her too much of her first husband. The father who didn't care that she took his sons away from him all the way to another continent.
Galen loved his dad. It destroyed him that the man just let him walk out of his life. They barely have any contact. That's probably a good thing because I've not heard any endearing father-son stories about the bastard. He is no Ryan Drake, that's for sure. How a man like that could have a kind and generous son like Dex baffles me. Even Galen is not as bad as people think he is.
It's a pity that Hunter and Galen cannot stand each other. He needs Uncle Ryan. If only the two of them could stop being such dicks to each other, Galen might hang out with all of us at the Drakes' place, and then maybe he would deal better with most of his issues.
I know Hunter's dad goes to a lot of trouble to look out for Galen, regardless. He might, in fact, be the only reason the dude hasn't gone off the deep end completely yet. Where would I have been by now without the Drakes?
I honestly don't know why Galen and Hunter hate each other so much. It started with Galen always tormenting me when we were kids. The arsehole just wanted to vent himself in a fight, and let's face it, I'm easy to provoke.
It didn't last long, a couple of months at most. We've been good friends for almost the entire time we've known each other. Nobody would've predicted that in the beginning.
So, why? Are they too similar? Stubborn hotheads?
Galen isn't half as annoying as the Drakester. He's also not as kind. Jealousy, probably. Hunter and Dex are close. Hunter has loving parents, and he has all of us. What does Galen have? A drunk mother who tells him he's not wanted.
Hell knows I'm no psychologist.
"She said that... only one child in a set... of twins... s-should be allowed to l-live," he stammers, his voice breaking again. "And she sure as hell didn't mean me."
That's harsh. It's also new. I don't think she's ever said that before.
"Shit, Kenna, that's bullshit," I splutter, rubbing my hand over his head, messing up his hair. Doesn't matter. Between the wind and his own fingers, the style it had is long gone.
"She was drunk, right? You know not to hear her when she's drunk. She says some really stupid shit when she's drunk. I mean, she told Hunter that he needs to grow up faster because he is the love of her life. That's..."
"F#cked up."
"Yup. Besides, as the only survivor of a set of twins, I can assure you that losing the other one is... is... is bollox!"
Galen is laughing, but there are tears streaming down his cheeks. If that ridiculous statement of Aunt Eileen had any truth in it then, in my case, the wrong child from the set of twins survived. I know that.
Taking comfort from each other's presence, we silently lounge back against the rocks and stare at the view of the moon-glittered ocean while we finish the beers. Early last year, Galen and I were up here with some other kids. They started to get into that lack of sobriety state of mind where being with them became more of a nuisance than fun, so the two of us wandered off and found this perfect hang-out spot.
These rocks have been moulded through years of wind and rain to be the smoothest, most comfortable backrests. The view is just spectacular, especially in the middle of the night when the moon and stars are bright enough to paint the ocean far below us. The only spoiler is the wind. This spot is particularly windy. These boulders do provide a bit of shelter against it.
It's probably not the safest place to hang out if you're not planning to be all that sober. A couple of steps away from our comfortable seats, the world just ends in a sheer drop. A fall from these cliffs will instantly kill you on the rocks far below, and your body will eventually get picked up and dragged away by the tide.
I've often wondered how many corpses have been disposed of out here. It's the perfect spot for a murder or a body dump. Isolated, wild, and the ocean below will take care of all your secrets.
Briar Cove hasn't had any murders that I'm aware of, still... how would we know? People do disappear on occasion, presumed drowned. It doesn't happen often, which is good. About once every few years.
The beers are eventually only empty bottles, and the weed went up in smoke. I'm half asleep when Galen suddenly rises and staggers up to the edge of the cliff. It doesn't take me long to realise what he's doing. The fine tell-tale mist drifting against my skin wakes me up completely.
"Dude! You're peeing into the wind, and it's blowing back on me!"
Yup, he is pissing over the edge of the cliff. We often do that. There's just something profoundly satisfying about precariously standing on the edge, peeing on our fear of death.
I'm not finding it all that satisfying right now, but then, I'm not the one doing it, and Galen is as high as a kite. I'm more than a little afraid that he'll be the next thing disappearing down that drop.
"You know what would be really cool?" he says over his shoulder, grinning like a fool. I don't wanna know what would be really cool. I'm starting to get a headache, and the wind is cold. I want to go home.
Whatever demons had been chasing me, have left to go to bed about an hour ago, and I'd really like to do the same now. I think I'm sober again. They are going to come back again soon, I need to go to sleep before they do.
"Taking a dump off this edge and having the wind blow it back," he laughs, making happy snorting sounds in between. Just how high is he? "Won't that be cool? Do ye think it will work?"
"What?"
"I'm gonna take a shot at it." Instead of zipping up, the idiot turns his back to the drop and starts to push his pants down. Fortunately, he's too clumsy drunk to manage it. I jump to my feet and grab his arms to stop him, pulling him away from danger into a safer distance from the cliff.
"No, it seriously won't be cool. There's a better chance of you getting splattered down there on the rocks than there is of the wind blowing your crap back up."
"You think so?"
"Yeah! And can you imagine the news headlines? Ice-hockey champ dies taking a dump over the edge of a cliff. Not very flattering."
Galen is giving me the unfocused, heavy-lidded look of someone who'd smoked way more weed than he should have. I feel my courage drop to my feet when he smiles the seductive smile that always has him knee-deep in a pile of willing girls.
I'm not a willing girl. I just wanna go home now.
"What if ye held me hands to stop me from falling? It's gonna be grand. Just ye watch."
"Watch what? Seriously, dude, I'm not holding your hands while you take a dump; that's just messed up... even for us. Besides, there's a pretty good chance that I'll fall with you, and I don't even want to speculate about those headlines."
Galen is blinking at me blankly.
"Pull up your pants, and let's go. I'm too sober for this shit."
Now he's laughing his head off. "Aye, there will be loooooads of shite!"
What the hell?
I like hanging out with Galen. He gets me in a way nobody else is able to. Maybe because he's even more messed up than I am, and we've been through a lot together.
We can tell each other virtually anything without receiving lectures or judgment, and it will stay between us. No action will be taken or revenge enacted on each other's behalf. But there's one thing about hanging out with him that I cannot stand.
I become responsible.
The bloody voice of reason. I hate that. I want to be the idiot trying to take a dump over the edge of a cliff, not the sensible guy pulling up another guy's pants so I can take him home.
This is just wrong!
I'm also very aware now that Galen got more pee on himself than on me. This wind is getting pretty strong. We're probably not safe here anymore.
"Let's go home, okay?"
Galen is watching me with glazed eyes. Well, at least they're no longer filled with tears and pain. He is very unsteady on his feet. I sigh and take a deep breath, turning my back towards him so that I can load him up like a sack of potatoes.
♫
Declan
I'm lying on me bed, staring at the peeling ceiling. The house is quiet. Me mam is still out with her friends, and I'm not sure who she's going to be when she returns.
I'm glad Ro and I managed to find Aminal's glasses. They were on his fecking seat in the car. He almost sat on the thing when we got in. I saw it just in time. At least one win for today.
Galen is still out. He's with Tanner, which both comforts and scares me. I swear those two are their own worst enemies. I should've gone with them. I didn't because I'm so effing tired. I just wanted a break from drama for one night.
Now, I regret not going because instead of taking that break, I'm lying here worrying about them. I know Hunter is worrying too. He also regrets not staying behind or forcing Tanner to go with them. Not that Tanner is someone who ever lets himself be forced.
Besides, Hunter has Frankie and Willow to take care of tonight. Sure, they'd be fine at home without him, but it's not Hunter's style to just bail on people who count on him. Besides, he's tired too. Mostly self-inflicted exhaustion in his case.
He's such an eejit.
The wind has been picking up; it's now trying to blow our house away. It might succeed tonight. The dump is held together by prayer and determination. I know where Galen and Tanner are. I don't like this wind, not if they're up at those cliffs. Especially if they're not sober.
Making up me mind, I fling the duvet off me and get up. I'm going to go look for them.
I'm wearing a tracksuit to bed tonight, ready for any emergency that could come up. It's starting to feel normal to go to bed virtually dressed to go out, just in case. All I need is to pull on me shoes and grab a jacket, and I'm ready.
I do so and open our front door to find Tanner about to knock on it. He looks like shite, and he has me brother's sleeping head dangling over one shoulder.
"Hi, Honey, I'm home," he says tonelessly, relieved to have me help him take Galen to our room. He sits down on the edge of me brother's bed against the wall with the window so that I can slide his burden off his back and onto the mattress.
"We should totally crap off the edge. All of us together, like a swarm of seagulls shitting on the heads of sunbathers," Galen mumbles, giving a snorting laugh. I glance at Tanner, but he just shrugs.
"Don't ask."
I don't, I simply help Tanner to strip me brother down to his skivvies and pull his duvet over him. I also don't ask why he's smelling like urine, and Tanner is not volunteering any information either. Gan is going to have to wash his bedding tomorrow.
"Thanks for taking care of him, Tan." It couldn't have been easy, I know me brother.
"No problem. You have a good one, Dex," he replies, and to me surprise, he is aiming for the door.
"Aren't you staying over?"
Tanner grins, shaking his head. "No, last time I shared a bed with Galen, I felt a little violated, and he's kinda gross right now."
I laugh, nodding me head. "He does get a little touchy-feely in his sleep sometimes. You can share with me."
I wave a hand at me bed against the opposite wall. Our beds are not big, but they can fit two people comfortably if they don't mind sleeping a bit close to each other. I know from experience that Tanner is a quiet sleeper.
He usually just curls up into a fetal position and doesn't move until morning. I can live with that. We've had to share sleeping spaces on many occasions throughout all the years we've been friends.
"Thanks, Buddy, but I really just wanna go home now. I'll see you tomorrow."
I can see that he means it. He wants to be in his own bed tonight. I get how that feels. He really does not look good, though. Hunter told me about the glitter incident; it's clearly taken its toll on him.
"I'll drop ye off."
"No, no need, thanks, though."
"Tan, it's far! Ye're not gonna walk. There's a cold wind tonight."
A commotion at the front door tells me that me mother is home. Shite. I might need Tan's help again. I hope not; the dude looks knackered.
"Where are me babbies?" I hear me mam whine. There's a lot of crashing around in the foyer. She's definitely fluthered again. No surprise there. Well, at least she's crying mama drunk tonight and not crazy bitch drunk. I can deal with the crying mama version. A hug and a kiss, and she'll go to sleep like the dead. Kinda like Galen is doing now.
I brace meself for the impact when she finds Tan and me in the door to me room and launches herself into me arms.
"It's Dex, me beautiful Dex," she croons, stroking me hair and me cheeks, hugging me over and over again as if she hadn't been home all week to make our lives hell. I steal a glance at Tanner, and any whisper of embarrassment I might still have been able to feel evaporates, seeing the lost look on his face.
He is not alright.
"Okay, Mam, let me get ye to yer bed."
"It's Tanner," she purrs, wrapping her arms around him now. "Such a sweet boy, ye are, Tan. So sweet."
To his credit, Tanner doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look freaked out; he just holds her in his arms and lets her cuddle him for a while. I wonder if he's missing his mam.
"Where is me little Gan?" Mam sobs. "Did he leave me again? Don't let him leave me again, Dex."
I flash a startled look at Tanner's face. If me mam thinks that Galen ran away again, she must've done something mean to him. The look on Tanner's face tells me all I need to know.
"He is sleeping, Mam. Leave him to sleep, alright? Ye go kip now too. Okay?" I drag her from Tanner's arms and away from our bedroom. I don't want her waking Galen now, even if it is to hug and kiss him.
She's sober enough to at least walk by herself, which is an improvement. "Please don't go," I say to Tanner and head down the hallway to help me mam to her bedroom. Once there, I help her onto the bed, pull off her shoes and pull her duvet over her. She's asleep before I'm even done tucking her in.
When I return to the hallway, I'm surprised that Tanner is still standing listlessly where I'd left him. I was half expecting him to be gone and wasn't relishing the idea of going out hunting for him. There is no way I'm letting him walk home by himself tonight. I think he might be in the process of shutting down now.
"Come on," I say, walking to our front door. I need to get the guy to his home before he collapses.
♪
We don't talk much in the car. Tanner is slowly slipping into that unreachable space he sometimes goes to. I have no idea how to stop him. Paisley might help; she often reaches him when nobody else can.
Me mam's car smells of stale cigarette smoke and the whiskey she'd spilt in it at some point this week. There's a collection of bottles at Tanner's feet too; if we get pulled over, the car will get arrested for driving under the influence.
"Are ye going to be okay, Tan?"
I don't know if he'll talk to me. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I cannot just sit here and not even try; besides, he's starting to scare me a little.
"Yes, I'm good, thanks, Dex. I'm just tired. It's been a long day. It's not so bad... it could've... it could've been w-worse..."
Something in Tanner's voice makes me glance over at him. He is suddenly struggling to breathe, and he looks like he is going to be sick. I pull over and stop the car, waiting for him to talk or stumble out and puke on the sidewalk. He does neither; he just stares into me face with wide, frightened eyes, his lips trembling.
The tremors seem to be building up inside him, pushing out from his core, growing more and more visible. I watch it happen, helplessly waiting for something to show me how to help him. I've never seen him like this before.
Should I run around the car and drag him out, help him puke, or should I call for an ambulance or drive him to the clinic? Did he drink or smoke too much? Did he take something worse? He seems almost sober, though.
"I could've... I could've still been five years old and not strong enough to f-fight them off. I'm s-strong... I can fight now... I'm not f-five a-anymore... I can h-hurt them..." he stutters, trying to grin but ending up gasping for air instead. He is shaking all over now.
I don't need him to say more. I get the gist of it. Some man trying to force himself on Tanner and glitter? Not a good combination at all. It could completely break the guy. A few years ago, it would have. He's come a long way. He'd been keeping it together pretty well today... up until now.
"It's okay, Boyo." He doesn't resist when I lean over and pull him into a tight hug, patting his back while he sobs into me shoulder. "Ye're alright. Ye're alright now."
If Hunter knew...
He sure as hell won't hear about it from me.
♪
I dump Galen's dirty clothes in the wash and make a quick round through the house, making sure that all the shit-faced people are still soundly sleeping in their beds before I undress and settle down in me own bed.
I can finally take that break.
I slide me phone from the bedside table and unlock the screen. "Tan's fine. He's at his home," I type and send the message to Hunter. I was right; he was also lying awake, stressing. His reply is almost instantaneous.
"Thanks, Bro. How about you? You fine? Are we good?"
I laugh softly and think it over for a bit. Are we? I sure as hell hope we are. I don't think I could handle Hunter and me not being good. His friendship is the one steady, strong thing in me life.
He's always encouraging and challenging me, making me try things I would never even think of doing. Some of those things get me into trouble; others make me discover abilities and interests I never knew I had.
Hunter thinks he needs me and me friendship, but he doesn't. I'm the one who needs him.
"We're always good, eejit!" Just for emphasis, I add a cartoony Giff of a horse using its tail to brush away annoying flies. I make meself comfortable in me bed and settle in to chat with him for a bit.
♫
Tanner
It never matters how quietly I try to come into the house. I'm barely in my bed, curled around our dog's warm body, when I hear my bedroom door click open and soft, shuffling footsteps in the dark.
I feel the movement of my mattress, and then Paisley is wrestling herself into position behind me, her one skinny arm wrapping around me.
I take her hand and settle into her warmth. I wish there were more of her; she's so frail. She's been doing this since the day I moved into their house. I was five years old at the time, badly injured and terrified, and I missed my mother despite what she'd tried to do.
At first, it had been the three of us in bed every night. Paisley, Jake, and I, holding onto each other, protecting one another from all the scary monsters out there. The first time, I'd been sandwiched between them, crying until the pillow was quite wet. They didn't complain or say a word, they just held onto me, and I held onto them.
Jake obviously doesn't come to my bed anymore. The last time he did, we were about nine years old. He stopped having nightmares around that time. I think it's more or less when the Drakes entered our lives. Jake has his shit together now. Big time.
I'm never surprised to find Paisley here, though, and since she heard about our army plans, she's in here very often. I doubt that she ever sleeps alone now. I know she's going through hell.
I'm thinking of postponing my own army plans for a while, I think I'll stay until she's able to cope with losing Ash and Hunter unless I can get the two idiots to give up on their stupid plans.
How can they even think of doing this to her?
Tonight she's comforting me, though, not herself. It's working. It almost always does... eventually. Well, Dex did get me over the worst of it. The panic I've been fighting all day and lost the battle against in the car with him is finally starting to melt away completely. I can feel my eyelids growing heavier, sleep teasing at the edges of my mind, slowly dragging me under.
"I love you, Tan-Tan," Paisley whispers.
"Love you too, Brat," I mumble, holding onto her hand a little tighter while the rest of me starts to relax into sleep.
♪♫♪