It was a tense silence that fell upon the room as Master Jotham read the letter. Below him, both Conquerors sat with weapons in their hands. They were not hostile by any means, but I knew they were trying to dissuade any aggressive action. The Peacekeeper leaned against the throne, as she had before, but this time kept her hands still, resting patiently on the hilts of her sword and dagger. All I could do was wait, and keep a tight grip on my sword. Stone paced behind me, letting his flail rattle as he glared at the Midnight Howls, as though daring them to try anything.
Jotham raised his head from the paper, a silent question seemed to ring in my mind as he stared at me. He wanted to know if the letter was true. I was uncertain how I would be able to convince him, but gave a slow nod in response. Around us, the guards seemed to shift their gaze between each of their armored companions and guests, seemingly unsure of which to focus on. Without a word, Jotham folded the paper, and handed it to the Peacekeeper. She took it carefully and pushed against the throne, righting herself as she walked slowly.
"This hamlet you speak of is where these "songbirds" lie?" He asked. I'd been able to give a brief explanation of events, as well as some details to better explain the letter's meaning.
"Herongale, yes. I suspect Blackstone will attack it soon." I responded. Jotham leaned in closer and observed me closely, though I'm not sure why. Perhaps he was trying to determine my sincerity? If so, I wasn't sure what I could say in order to convince him. Whatever he had planned to say was interrupted when the male Conqueror rose from his seated position, letting the chain of his flail rattle as he did.
"What reason do we have to believe you? You were once Blackstone, how do we know this isn't some grand scheme to destroy us or our people?" He asked. Stone stepped beside me, tense. I could tell he was offended by such a remark, but we needed to stay calm. I extended a hand and blocked Stone's path, giving him a soft shake of the head before the Peacekeeper spoke.
"The Blackstone Legion prefers direct combat and action. They would not send a spy to overthrow a castle, they would ram it down." She explained. Jotham nodded and rose himself.
"Agreed. Besides, Blackstone would not carry a sick and injured woman with them. They'd leave her to die or kill her themselves. These men have proven they have no loyalty to them." He added. I breathed a sigh of relief as they spoke and lowered my arm, while the Conqueror begrudgingly took a seat. Jotham took a few steps forward, stopping on the steps of his Conquerors.
"That said, the fact that this letter was delivered to you does indicate either a traitor, or a trap. Frankly, I doubt there is a traitor in their midst." He observed. Stone held out his arms as though presenting himself, then raised them slightly.
"Are we not both traitors? There were good men in Blackstone! Is it so hard to believe another found the courage to walk away as we did?" He challenged. The female Conqueror began to stand herself, but I reached forward, hoping to calm the situation.
"All that matters is that an innocent hamlet is at risk for my actions, something must be done to help them!"
"And what is it you would have us do, Warden?" The male Conqueror asked. For a moment, I could not speak. In truth, I wasn't sure what could be done. I doubted my standing was strong enough to ask for direct aid, let alone permission to leave while working off my debt. Leaving alone would not accomplish much of anything, nor would risking Stone's life. Still, if I were to truly begin changing Ashfeld, I needed to take action, and if I were to save Herongale, I would need to take it soon. So with a deep breath, I stepped forward and planted the tip of my sword at my feet, holding it steady with both hands.
"I would ask you to join us in driving back the Legion, or if that seems infeasible, escorting the people of Herongale to safety within these walls." Before I had even finished speaking, there were groans and jeers from both Conquerors and the surrounding guards. Only Jotham and the Peacekeeper seemed to at all consider the idea. Even then, Jotham seemed more amused by the concept than anything else.
"Why should I risk my men and my family to rescue a hamlet that seems doomed regardless?" He inquired. I didn't even need to consider my answer here.
"We are sworn as knights to protect the people of Ashfeld, to serve as shields to all its lands and kingdoms. I would call on you to fulfill those oaths." I declared. The jeering only grew louder as I spoke, even the Conquerors seemed to shout insults. Was the idea so ridiculous? Why were they so against it? Jotham raised a hand, and the yelling died down though I could still hear scattered muttering of disapproval.
"Perhaps you are unaware. These oaths you speak of were upheld by the Iron Legion. A legion, mind you, that has long since abandoned their principles, and fallen into ruin. What the Iron Legion stood for is nothing more than hollow echoes, a dim reminder of what has been cast aside." He argued. Beside me, Stone cracked his neck and breathed deeply, likely trying to contain his fury. I realized now that words and promises would only reach so far, they needed something more. I suppose now was the best time to reveal myself...
"That may be true. But it does not mean it cannot rise again, with its principles restored!" I nearly yelled, reaching towards my armor. With one pull of a small chain around my neck, I freed the pendant Stone had given me, and held aloft the Iron Legion's symbol.
"Let me stand before you now not as a Warden of no colors, but as Lord Warden of the Iron Legion reborn!" I declared, all at once the yelling and the jeering began anew. This time many of the attending stood or stepped closer, yelling out accusations of treachery and deceit. Only Stone remained calm, standing beside me and placing a hand to his chest.
"Let me stand beside him, second to the Lord Warden!" He shouted. How grateful I felt to have him standing by me at that moment. If I had been alone, I'm not sure I could have done this, but with Stone by my side and reaffirming me, it gave me confidence. Feeling invigorated, I took a few steps forward, keeping my pendant aloft as the guards moved forward, but were held back when Jotham again raised an arm.
"Master Jotham, lord of Castle Nov Domas, I ask you to stand with us. March with us to defend Herongale. Restore the honor of a once great legion, and give the people of Ashfeld reason to look up to us once more!" I proclaimed. The jeers had died down by this point, though the guards held their weapons ready, their shields gripped tightly. For a time, there was no response to my call, as Jotham folded his hands together in thought. After a minute of contemplation, he raised his head again.
"I cannot send my fellow warriors into a battle they are unprepared for with no foreseeable gain. Your aspirations are noble, Lord Warden. But they are horribly misguided." I'm not sure how best to describe the loss of all feelings that entombed me in those words. It wasn't emptiness, for I did feel a sensation akin to sinking, it was more like I simply lost something. My heart fell, and with it my confidence. Jotham stood, and I lowered my arm.
"I release you, Warden. I will not hold a Warlord that has done no harm. Nor will I indulge the dreams of the imprudent. You have until nightfall to gather your bearings." He said. Imprudent? Misguided? Was I really so careless? Surely my goals weren't that absurd... were they? Stone seemed to lose himself beside me, clenching his fist tightly before taking several steps forward, the guards raising their weapons in response.
"Are you all so terrified of Blackstone that you'd hide away while innocent lives burned? So gutless that you'd stand by and do nothing?" He shouted. Jotham turned his gaze from me to him, and I slowly turned to my friend.
"I am extending grace to you and yours, Conqueror. If you were wise, you would take it." Jotham's words were cold, and harsh. I almost felt numb, taking them in. Stone, it would seem, did not share those feelings.
"Grace? You're sending us to die to save your own skin!" He yelled, pointing an accusatory finger to him, then to the warriors around us.
"Cowards! All of you! Nothing but spineless rats!" His assertion sent the chamber into an uproar, guards screamed and cursed his name, while the Conquerors rose with a speed that bordered on the supernatural. Even Jotham seemed to raise his sword, anger written visibly across his features. Only the Peacekeeper seemed to keep a level head, focusing her gaze on me. Was she watching for a trick? Or was she eager to see what came next?
"The dog should remember his leash, we wouldn't want him to choke on it!" One of the Conquerors shouted. Laughter followed, that was perhaps the worst of all. They were laughing at us... it was not an uproar, or even a particularly loud laughter, but just present enough to punctuate the humiliation. I took a step back, though involuntarily, as the idea of Herongale wormed into my mind. What would become of them without aid? What about Stone, and Deborah? Were they to be condemned as well? No...
"Go ahead! Call me a dog, laugh all you want! At least this dog doesn't hide behind an empty bark!" Stone practically screamed as more angry jeers erupted. The whole chamber felt as if it were going to enter a blood frenzy, with Stone and I at its center. I'd had enough of this. I steeled myself and walked forward, gently pushing Stone behind me as I did. Stone's gaze never faltered, even as the Conquerors slowly swayed their flails at my approach. Holding my head high, I locked eyes with Jotham and made my final appeal.
"If you will not aid us, will you at least hear a man's last request? A favor for the service we have provided?" I think it was the calmness, and the acceptance in my tone that hushed the room. It was common, even expected for mocked and denied knights to enter into frenzies, much like Stone had. Another of the degradations I had seen in the world these three years. All lips fell silent, when I did not fall into that expectation. That silence was only broken when the female Conqueror scoffed.
"You offered a mere five days of guard duty, founded a legion in secret, and openly declared lordship while under another's roof, yet you expect us to hear your wishes? You are either stupid or a bad comic, Warden. Take your given grace and-"
"ENOUGH." Jotham suddenly roared, his voice repeating once, and then twice across the hall. The unexpectedness of the yell caused the Conqueror to jump, and nearly everyone, save myself, took a step back. The master of the castle stepped forth with a confident and deliberate stride, as though challenging anyone to talk back at him.
"I will hear no more insults at this man's expense! This Warden has displayed nothing but honor and good will, even in the face of rejection and impending doom for his companions. He has proven himself a true knight and a just man, he shall be treated as such!" He declared, stomping his foot with a resonating thud. More than this, however, I realized he was giving me a look. It was a complicated thing, that gaze, yet I understood it. I understood why now, he had chosen to release me, he was relieving me of one of my promises, granting me freedom, in a way. It was a small thing, but monumental in scope. When I nodded in understanding, he nodded back.
"Speak your request, Warden. If it is within my power, it shall be granted." He said. For a moment, I hesitated. I only had one chance to ensure my companions' safety, I could not waste it. When I was ready, I stood tall, and spoke.
"Lady Beuer is still suffering from her injuries. I would ask you to allow my second to stay while she recovers. I accept the responsibility of any trouble they cause, and will pay it back if necessary." I pleaded. Jotham brought a hand to his chin and thought, his eyes narrowing. After a brief delay, he spoke again.
"Allow me to consult my fellows, we need but a moment." I nodded in turn. He turned and walked towards the throne once more, as the Conquerors stood, and the Peacekeeper stepped down, meeting them in the middle of the steps. While the rest of the room muttered, I felt a jerk on my arm, and turned. Stone was staring at me, his stance tense. It almost felt as though a fire was radiating from him.
"What are you doing?! I am not going to abandon you!" He half whispered, half growled. His loyalty, even now, was touching, and for a moment I considered retracting my request. But I knew this was the only way.
"I will not have you die for my decisions. You never asked for this, so I will not ask you to partake." I explained. He gripped my arm tighter and pulled, but I held steady.
"You are a warlord! That is what warlords do!" He insisted. I shook my head.
"Not this one." I rebutted. Before he could speak again, I took his wrist, and pried it from my arm. He fought it at first, but eventually he relented, though I could tell he was not pleased with me. That was fine, I'd rather he despise me than be buried. After a minute or two more of silent chatter from the Howls, Jotham turned back towards me, a silent, inscrutable look on his face.
"The Conqueror Stone will be permitted to stay until the bard has recovered fully. After which, they will be escorted off castle grounds, and back to the road." He decreed. A small bit of relief rose in my chest hearing those words. Stone and Deborah would be safe, even if only for a time. I nodded my head in gratitude.
"My thanks, Master Jotham. I will make my preparations to leave, and inform Lady Beuer of these events." I said, bowing slightly before turning to leave. Stone did not bow with me, but did turn to follow me out.
"May God be with you, Lord Warden." I heard Jotham say from behind me. I did not turn to respond. In fact, it was not until after I had left the chamber, and made several turns back towards Deborah's room that the silence between Stone and I was broken. When it was, it was not I who broke it.
"What in God's name was that? You try to gather allies for Herongale, then you push away the one sure companion you have? What are you thinking?" He scolded. I could understand his frustration, truly, but I couldn't in good conscience lead him to a bloodbath.
"Stone, it's one thing to lead a defense against a superior force, it's another to lead a suicide mission. If you stand by me here, I don't think we'll walk away from it." I explained, Stone wasn't having it.
"Then let me die by your side! You're not the only one trying to keep people alive here!" Now I was getting frustrated. In what world was both of us dying an acceptable outcome? Where would Ashfeld be then? If the Iron Legion was to be reborn, one of us had to live, if I had to be a martyr for that, then perhaps that was my fate. The way I saw it, I was the better one to die than him.
"If the Iron Legion is to survive, one of us has to live! Besides, you're not sitting idle, you're still following my orders!" I tried to reason. Stone laughed and crossed his arms, though his tone made it clear he found no humor in this matter.
"Ah yes, your orders. Tell me, just how do you plan to tell the bard you're abandoning her?" He shot back. I opened my mouth to speak, but found my words unable to come out. I wasn't abandoning Deborah, I was entrusting her care to another, was that so wrong? True, I'd made an oath to ensure her safety, but was that not what I was doing? It wasn't as if I was glad at the prospect of leaving either of them behind, this was a choice that needed to be made.
"I don't want to leave her here, but I can't bring her to a battleground. And if I can't be here to watch over her, I need to know someone I trust will be." I tried to clarify. Stone simply shook his head and stepped closer.
"She hates me, Liam. Do you really think she'll accept being MY charge?"
—-
"Absolutely not!" My ears were practically ringing from Deborah's yell, her eyes almost seemed to radiate fury and disgust. Even as she sat on the large bed in her chambers, she seemed to fidget and twitch as though unable to get comfortable.
"Deborah, this is the only way I can keep you safe, is that not something I swore to do?" I rebutted, pacing back and forth as I did. Despite my efforts, I just couldn't get through to either of my companions, but how could I? Neither of them were listening to reason! This mission was far too dangerous and there had to be failsafes, why couldn't they see that? Deborah glared angrily as she used the nearby nightstand to push herself to her feet, grunting in effort as she did.
"How am I supposed to feel safe when a PEACEKEEPER was in my bedroom last night? The SAME Peacekeeper that stabbed me in the first place, no less?" She barked.
"She has a point, Liam." Stone added, sitting behind us at the chess table. My frustration mounted as I groaned and rubbed my head.
"Stone, stay out of this!" I ordered, turning to face him. He, in turn, opted to give me a mock salute before grabbing one of the game pieces and twiddling it between his fingers.
"Yes, my lord. Whatever you say, my lord." He muttered. His less than genuine compliance only deepened my irritation, but I could handle that at another time. Right now, I needed to convince Deborah to stay. When I turned to face her again, she had taken a few steps to my left, and was now leaning against one of the supports for the bed.
"Stone is a gifted fighter, and a man of immense virtue. I trust him more than any other knight I have met. You will be safe with him." I tried to explain. Deborah only laughed in my face and shook her head.
"I wasn't safe in a hamlet, I wasn't safe traveling on the road, I wasn't even safe inside of a castle, Liam! Do you honestly think one Conqueror is going to make any difference?" Her rebuttal, as frustrating as it was, held merit. Mercy had attacked her twice now, both times when she should have been secure. As much as I wanted to insist upon my choice, it was difficult to ignore her point. Groaning, I threw a hand up in irritation.
"What would you have me do then? March both of you into a battleground for you to be slaughtered? How is that any better than securing you here?" I demanded, my voice growing louder with every word.
"Don't fight at all! Why can't we just escort them all away from the hamlet and take them somewhere else? That saves them all right?" She rebutted.
"And where would we take them, Deborah? To
Morrowgale? That's the second place Blackstone would look! Nov Domas won't take them, they won't even lend a sword to our fight! For that matter, how long would it even take to orchestrate an exodus of that scale, days? Weeks? We don't have that time!" Both of us were yelling now, despite my efforts to keep the situation calm. Perhaps I should have been more reasonable, more controlled, but how could I?
"We'll figure something out then! There has to be a better way than running off to get yourself killed!" Deborah screamed.
"I will figure something out. You will stay here, where it is safe!" I was done being polite. This was a demand, not a plea. Deborah seemed to realize this as her eyes flared, an inferno burning behind her irises.
"I won't be safe if-" All at once, her demeanor shifted. For a moment, she froze, her eyes widening as the fire left. Had she startled herself with her own ferocity? When she returned to herself, she seemed deflated, arms folded together as she lowered her eyes, looking to the ground as she did. It was as if she had just given away a dire secret, something she'd wanted to keep buried at all costs. But what?
"You won't be safe if what?" I pressed, I was still angry with her defiance, so it is to my shame I admit it was with a harsh and uncaring tone that I asked. Deborah shook her head and looked away, her eyes slowly closing as she did. Dull glimmers at the base of her eyelids threatened tears, it was only after I'd noticed these that my disposition softened.
"Deborah, you won't be safe if what?" I repeated, softer and kinder this time. She did not turn to face me, but I could still see the dull glimmers in her eyes. They seemed to become more obvious now, I could only wonder how close she was to losing control. Still, she held strong, inhaled deeply, and spoke, a soft tremble seemed to accompany every word.
"I hadn't felt safe once in the six years I've wandered. I took every step I could, kept a knife on me, slept facing doors, separated myself from traveling companions, anything I could. None of it made me feel any safer. Not until..." The words seemed to catch in her throat as she blinked and brought a hand to her mouth, trying to keep the rest of her words trapped inside again. I don't know how much time passed while she remained like that, but I didn't press her. Eventually, she found her strength, or perhaps it is better to say she finally let go.
"Not until you, Liam." She admitted, a single bead falling from her face as she did. Her voice was unsteady as she spoke, and my heart ached.
"Last night, when you were holding me... It was the first time I'd felt truly safe in a long time." She said, wiping at her eyes as she did. I felt my shoulders slump, a weight I was all too familiar with pressing down on me. It felt heavier this time, deeper. A personal betrayal I hadn't felt since that day everything fell apart. This was such a smaller thing, yet the guilt weighed all the same.
"I'm not saying you shouldn't go, I'm not trying to stop you, but..." She paused, trying to collect herself as she brought a hand back to her lips. After another deep breath, she continued; "I just can't lose that again. I don't want to be scared anymore and I don't want you to die, Liam. Anything but that..." Deborah practically choked out those final words, tears fell freely from her now as she clenched her hand tightly in a fist. It was a wonder she was holding together as well as she was. Perhaps that's why she still couldn't bring herself to look at me?
Part of me wanted to agree with her, find a new way to handle this problem. A diversion, somehow? An escort, as she had suggested? Perhaps even making the hamlet already look destroyed, hoping that Blackstone would pass it by? But the more I thought, the more impractical any other solution became. Each demanded resources I did not have, time that did not exist. It wasn't an easy choice, but one I needed to make.
"Deborah..." I finally began; "I'm sorry. Truly, I am. But they're all in danger because of me. There's no time for anything else, and they will die if I don't step in. If that means I must die to atone for my mistakes, then maybe that's my fate." The words hung in my throat and in my belly like a brick. I knew that I could die in this life at any time, and I'd made peace with that. Still, acknowledging it, and even more so staring it in the face like this, always felt different. Deborah did not immediately respond to me, at least I thought.
Her eyes closed once again as she stumbled back, and slowly lowered herself back into the bed. Hopelessness was written in every fiber of her being, the color in her cheeks and even her hair seemed to dim, like a piece of her had become lost.
"Then leave." She said, her voice a chilling mix of acceptance and despair. Resignation, I realized in horror. I had pushed her to this, given her a false hope even if I hadn't realized it, then crushed it. I'd broken her...
"Deborah.." I tried to say, but she turned away and cut me off before I could explain myself.
"Please... just go away." Barely more than a whisper, and it was enough to shatter me.
"You heard the lady, Liam. Get out." Stone echoed from behind. Even his voice seemed resigned, void of hope or spirit. My gaze moved from one to the other, numbly trying to read either of my companions. Both of them seemed empty and lost, all because of me. Neither would follow me now, not as I stepped out of the room, not as I turned down the halls, and not as I entered a small barracks that I'd been permitted to use as resting quarters. I was alone, again, by my own doings. This realization seemed to reach deeper and deeper into my mind until it felt all consuming.
So it was with a heavy heart that I began packing my supplies, making my arrangements to leave the castle that night...
...and despaired.