She heard the splashing of the waves nearby as Jess started to wake up from her slumber. She stretches her arms and legs trying to cast away the remaining sleepiness she felt.
She got up and opened her bedroom door and she saw her mom just on the balcony overlooking the sea.
"Good morning..." she greeted her mother.
Kris turned her eyes around and weakly smiled at her.
Jess suddenly felt panic. "Mom, how are you feeling?" She asked.
She sat right beside her in the wooden chair and touched her arms gently.
"I feel tired," Kris confessed. "It's been days now that my body feels heavy."
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" she asked, already anticipating the worst possible scenario.
"We can go there later... I just want to enjoy this moment with you and the ocean." She whispered.
Jess stayed silent and just watched her mother. She noticed her eyes sunken, she looked paler than usual, and her breathing was labored. She looked fragile, feeble, and ready to break anytime soon. She has been observing her behavior for days now and she can't seem to count how many times she convinced her to go to the hospital.
"Mom" her voice cracked.
"Being here with you and spending this time with you, this is my redemption. Thank you for giving me a chance Jessie" she uttered like she was saying her final goodbye.
"Mom! Can you not say that, please? We can still do this for a long time, together. We must make up for those moments we were away. You can't, you can't just leave me here." She pleaded.
She touched her face. "I feel that my time is coming, I can sense it. This feeling of peace is slowly enveloping me." She explained.
"Mom, No..." Jess was saying.
"I love you Jessie, you know that right..." Kris stated and Jess saw the slow pace of her movements as she watched her mother close her eyes and an abrupt change in her demeanor.
She was trembling. "Mom! Mom! Mom!" She shrieked. "Mom!"
A loud slam hit her door and the last person that Jess wanted or expected to see was there in the flesh standing in front of her.
"Rick?" she uttered.
"Let me help you, let's get your mom to the hospital, quickly Jess!" He alerted her. She quickened her movements and saw Rick carry her mom carefully and put her in his car. She followed him and secured Kris in the backseat. His movements were calculated as he readily sped up his vehicle heading to the hospital.
She had no emotional capacity to think of why Rick was there then; she was panic-stricken as she continued checking her mother's condition. She heard Rick call someone to prepare for an emergency and when they arrived at the ER there were personnel who were quick to transport her mother to a stretcher and usher her inside.
The scene played in front of Jess was a page in a movie, two doctors in white gowns maneuvered their mother as they checked her pulse and vitals. Jess was frozen as her eyes were fixated on Kris, she looked lifeless.
"Mom"... she whispered, still in a state of shock. This feels like Deja vu on the day she rushed her to the hospital too. Apart from blaming herself, she should not have moved her, though the doctor from the previous health care gave her the clearance that she could transfer her mom, but she didn't consider the strenuous long ride. Could it have contributed to why her condition worsened?
Her eyes widened as she covered her mouth when she saw the clamor of the doctors and nurses, she heard the order to give a shot of epinephrine when the monitor showed a flat line. They were doing CPR continuing to check for a heartbeat. There was nothing. Another adrenaline shot was introduced, and continuous CPR was performed.
Tears started to fall as Jess slowly captured what was happening and as the last thread of hope was slipping away from her hands. She felt two strong hands capture her entire frame as her eyes closed tightly.
It's Rick, she would not admit this to him but the emotional support that he was giving her was enough to calm her nerves even though she was shaking uncontrollably. He holds her hand securely. Soothing her.
The nurse pushed the defibrillator in and another familiar scene in the hospital series occurred.
"200 joules, All clear?" The physician shouted.
They repeated the process three times, and the sound of the monitor didn't change. Kris's heartbeat didn't come back. When Jess saw that they stopped their movements, she knew right then.
She heard the doctor proclaim the time of death and their empty faces that Jess can no longer remember offered their sympathy and a brief explanation of the procedure that they did.
"We will give you time to say goodbye to your mother..." she heard the physician say.
Instead of moving towards her mom Jess turned around and poured her heartbreak in Rick's arms. She cried and cried but her tears kept pouring. It didn't dry up. She was sniffing and bawling as her emotions soared.
They say that death is a tragedy for the young and a rite of passage for the old and that's why it brings different kinds of mourning, but regardless, death is death and there is no easy way to deal with it.
"Jess" he called on her.
"Let's pay respect to your mother for the last time." He whispered to her.
She shakes her head. "Rick, I can't, I can't" her tremors doubled.
"Jess, look at me," he asked her. She raised her eyes, puffy and red, and looked at Rick. "I'm here with you. You are not alone." He assured her.
She turned her head around and watched her mother's soulless body. She moved to her side slowly and touched her hand. She kissed it.
"Rest well Mom, I'll be okay. I Love you too" she uttered as her tears glazed her face. She felt his hands on her shoulder giving her strength and with one final pause, she embraced her mother tightly as her cries of pain echoed into the hallways of the hospital.
Kris's funeral happened soon after, it was sweet and sorrowful for Jess, for in those moments of raw pain, when it feels as if the loving self screams in silent anguish, there are the memories of the good times that come as blossoming spring meadow which she's holding on to.
Rick was her silent supporter. He was very patient throughout the process. He didn't ask or confront anything but only her welfare and the preparations for the funeral. He was respectful of her mourning and allowed her to go through the process.
The pastor spoke:
Mourn is not the passing of a life well lived yet celebrated. Count the times your souls smiled together, reached out so invisibly yet tangibly, and touched. Death is only the end of a chapter, my friend. And so, as this body makes ready to return to the soil, my spirit will watch over you and live in your heart. It will bring sadness as we transform into this new way of connecting, yet this is part of living.
She sniffed.
She stared at the sky and noticed how blue it was, she whispered. "Mom you are with Adam now. I hope in the next life you'll be happy."
As the final dirt covered the coffin, Jess wanted to stay there for a few minutes.
Rick gave her space and told her he'd wait in the car.
She stared blankly at the earth in front of her. Death is imminent she knows that and even though they have a complicated relationship with Kris in the beginning, how she tried to make amends with her was straight genuine. She could have wanted to spend more mornings with her mom, splash some saltwater on her playfully, and cook for her. She didn't get a chance to do that longer.
She cried once again.
When Jess felt her legs were better, she got up and breathed slowly. She tried to fix her black dress and with more conviction. she uttered. "Have a safe journey, Mom. I'll see you someday"
She turned her heel around and walked to where Rick was. He stepped outside the car and opened his arms for her. It seems natural to seek physical comfort from another human, but she's glad it's from Rick. She went to his side and accepted the embrace. They stayed like that for a good full minute.
She felt his warmth and the beating of his heart, she felt relaxed, like she was drifting away and away. Jess suddenly noticed that her body felt heavy and the last thing she remembered was the lightness of her head as she was floating and in an instant darkness consumed her fully.
Rick was stunned to see Jess lose her balance, he immediately checked on her and realized she was burning up. She secured her in the back seat and drove away heading to her apartment. He checked in the rear-view mirror to see if she was still okay. The hollow in his stomach has been increasingly eating him up. He's afraid that she might hurt herself. She hasn't been sleeping or eating since Kris passed away. He bribes her to even just eat some soup, but she declines. Her well-being is jeopardized and though he understands why he can't help but be concerned.
When they reached the beach house, he carefully carried Jess inside the house and put her in bed. He touched her forehead and he noticed she was panting. He looked for a first-aid kit to check on what medication he could give her and a thermometer to monitor her fever.
The days he spent with Jess in the beach house were enough for him to get familiar with where things were located. He was thankful that she didn't push him away.
He was troubled that when he stormed into the house on that day of the incident Jess would scream and tell him to go to hell. He was prepared to accept those strikes.
Rick found a cooling pad and carefully placed it on Jess's forehead. He also took some fever medicine and prepared a glass of water. He moved closer to the bed.
"Jess, you are pretty sick you need to drink some meds." He spoke.
He heard her groan, too weak to even talk coherently. He aided the medicine to her mouth and had her drink some water. After that, he secured her again and comfortably arranged the blanket.
"I'm cold" she whispered.
"Let me find another blanket to warm you." He replied.
When he found one in her drawer, he unfolded it and placed it on her. When she was fast asleep. Rick decided to sit and watch her.
He missed her. His heart was broken seeing her in pain.
He has no intention of meddling with her life anymore. He went to her place that day to test his self if where he was in terms of forgetting Jess completely, but when he heard the fear in her voice and the repeated calling for her mom, it pushed him to do something without thoroughly thinking.
She needed him and he didn't have the heart to leave her. Not after everything she had been through.
He wondered when things were in place, and what kind of conversation they'll be having. He would look forward to that. He touched the strands of her hair covering her face and kissed her cheek.
"I miss you so much" he openly confessed.
She stirred a little bit. Rick was about to kiss her lips when suddenly the bedroom door opened, and Shaun was ushered standing there in shock as his bag landed on the solid floor. His eyes moved to Rick and Jess staring in disbelief at the display of the segment in front of him.
"Shaun Hays, what is the culprit doing here?" Rick uttered menacingly as he towered in front of Shaun.
"I am not here for you Rick..." Shaun sounded pleading.
Rick was taken aback by Shaun's impassiveness.
"Let's go out. Jess needs rest. You and I have a lot of things to talk about too." Rick stated.
Shaun stared at Rick, he didn't expect to see him here, but he couldn't get away with it forever. With one look at Jess, he followed Rick to the balcony as he embraced the outcome of this conversation.