• Chapter 11 •
I sat in the bleachers with Jisung as we looked over the football field. The teams was going back and forth doing football things that I didn't understand. The ball rolled across the turf as a player kicked it towards the goal net.
I never understood the hype of watching a bunch of sweaty boys running around chasing a ball, until now. It's not the sport. It's everything else. The wet hair, they way their jaws tense up when hydrating. I don't know how sweat suddenly become so attractive.
I watched as Changbin walked towards the water station with a teammate. The two of them were joking around and laughing. I recognized the guy he was with. He was my desk partner in Chemistry. So he can talk. Just chooses not to talk to me. Now that I think about it, I didn't even know the dudes name. We haven't been assigned partner assignments yet, and I doze off half the time so it's not like I pay attention.
"Jisung, that's my chem partner right?"
"Who?" Jisung's averted his eyes from the field towards Changbin and my lab partner. "Oh, yea. Why?"
"I don't know his name. We don't talk at all." I said.
"Oh. That's because Jungkook doesn't talk to anyone at all really. I'm surprised he's talking to Changbin. He stopped really showing effort towards people when his two friends graduated last year."
That's... relatable in a way.
It reminded me of how I felt when I came here. I didn't want to try because I thought it wouldn't make any difference without Heeseung and his ridiculous sense of humor.
I looked at Jisung, who scooted forward on the metal bench, his eyes trained keenly on the field ahead as the plays for the game were rehearsed over and over. I thought it was odd for me to consider someone a friend so quickly. It's only been a week. Especially someone as wild and hyper active as this one.
I then looked back to the field, spotting Changbin pacing on the field. He made more sense. Calm and collected but new when it was okay to get a little crazy, but still odd.
I never considered people friends so quickly. Heeseung was a part of my childhood, so he had a VIP pass.
Would I consider any of the others a friend? Maybe, I eat lunch and live with all of them. Chan would probably be up next on the friend list or Jeongin if he wasn't so flaky.
I zoned back in to realized Jisung had moved down to the fence and was talking Changbin. After getting up and joining them, I realized they were taking about how much longer practice was gonna be.
"It's looking like we are gonna be here for a couple more hours." Changbin said, slightly panting and taking a few huge gulps of water from his bottle. Strands of his now wet hair were sticking to his forehead.
"That's fine with me." Jisung shrugged as he looked over his shoulder. Changbin lowered his bottle and looked at me. Like he could tell I wanted to go home.
"Is that fine with you? I mean you can head to the house if you want." Changbin said, his panting dying down as he finally catches his breath.
"Yea. I'm gonna do that." I said rubbing the back of my neck. I didn't really feel like being hear until sunset.
"Oh, okay." Jisung pouted. They both waved me goodbye and I walked towards the gate. I noticed Jungkook watching me from afar. He had a weird habit of staring.
Once I made it to the school yard, I took a path that lead straight back to the dorm house. I looked down the driveways of fenced in houses that sat right next to each other. Lined up neatly, a wooden fence placed between each yard to keep them separated for some kind of privacy.
I reached mine and lifted the latch on the short wooden gate beside the house that lead directly to the back yard. I didn't want to be smothered, so I thought I'd just sneak in through the back door. My room is in the back hall anyway, almost right in front of the back door.
The more I looked at the exterior, how intricate it looked, I realized I'm basically living in a two story cottage.
Should I start dressing cottage core? I laughed at myself and shook my head. I would not be able to pull that off.
I quietly opened the door and shut it with a very soft click, quietly kicking my shoes to the side. I could hear Chan and Minho laughing in the living room. I glanced down the hallway before tip toeing into my room, shutting the door behind me.
I laid my backpack in the floor at the foot of my bed and collapsed against the mattress. I couldn't stay laying down long, I suddenly starting get really antsy and my fingers were doing that subconscious habit where I touch fingertip to each fingertip, over and over silently counting how many time I do it until I calm down.
So I instantly went to my desk and pulled out my most recent sketchbook. It had been halfway filled with different forms of art. My most recent art high has been painting.
I reached inside a storage basket and pulled out 10 different acrylic paints. All colors that seemed to fit this moments feeling.
I dipped my brush into the paint and began working the strokes onto the thick paper.
When my hand moves over the canvass it's almost like my mind is directing my hand without me, odd perhaps, but that's the way it is. My hand moves instinctively to the right spot, building a new picture, often one I have never seen before. In these fantastical worlds I see reflections of my own mind, the way I think, but there is something else there too. I don't know what, perhaps I just imagine it, but when I paint I feel closest to my soul and it gives me a peace I cannot find another way.
I guess I had zoned out completely and melted into the way the brush moves. I hadn't realized Jeongin had been looking over my shoulder.
When I caught a glimpse of his fluffy blue hair, it made me almost jump out of my seat.
"Sorry." He said, backing up slightly but still looking over my shoulder. "I noticed your door was shut so I assumed you were home."
I didn't reply to him, I simply continued with the beautiful mess of art on the paper. It was a little less peaceful with someone over my shoulder, but I tried to ignore it.
"Do you have other paintings?"
All I did was point to the box that had all of my filled sketchbooks. I didn't pay attention to him after that. I went back to being focused on my current work.
After a while, it got to quiet so I looked for him, to find him curled in the floor flipping through my sketchbooks in awe.
"Can I commission you?" He whispered, lookin he up at me from where he had sat down in the floor. "To paint me something?"
I looked at him with a raised brow. "Really?"
"Yea. Your art is beautiful." I watched his fingers caress the edges of each page. I noticed two of my others beside him. Had he already gone through three sketchbooks?
"Sure, just give me an idea of what you want and how big, so I can give you a price estimate." I said. I needed to make a run to an art shop anyway.
"Okay, I'll have to get back to you on that. I can let you know by tomorrow."
He stayed focused on my sketchbooks, setting each one down with care before grabbing the next one.
I sat there and watched him for a moment. How gentle he was with my possessions. As if he could tell that they were my most prized. Part of me adored the way he handled them. My chest ached.
I guess I could expect this from him. He had a love for music and collecting vinyls. Music is simply another form of art, I'm sure he handles his records with the same amount of care.
But there was something about the expression on his face that intrigued me. Almost like he was falling in love with my art, like he didn't want to part with it.
That.. that look caused me one more problem. Cause whether I wanted to admit it or not, I wanted to be looked at like that.
"Jeongin." I said and he looked up at me with doe eyes. "You can go now.." I tried to say it nicely, but I could see the frown form in his eyes.
"Okay." He whispered, neatly putting my sketchbooks back in the box. He smiled at me before exiting my room and I let out a breath, I didn't realize I was holding.
Jesus fuck. I wanted to be back at my old school. There wasn't any room for me to have conflicting feelings there. I wasn't attracted to anyone. Felix was already a problem for me, and Jisung in a way, I didn't need Smurf boy to be a problem too.
I sat down my paint brush on my desk and rested my face in my paint covered hands. I've been here a week. A single week! How the hell does that work? I don't develop crushes this easy! I never have. Did Heeseung curse me?
I don't need a love life. I don't want one.
I don't want one.
I don't want one.
I don't want one.
——
[A/N]
Here's this chapter after such a long wait. Sorry about that. It's been a stressful couple weeks.
I hope you guys enjoy it! Sadness & Cigarette Smoke is next!
I love you all! Hope your weekend is going well! Til next update!