"What the hell happened to you?" Rhysand said before we'd even reached the ground of the Night Court.
When the black wind that surrounded us had finally dissipated, I just shrugged. I didn't really have the energy to explain and just wanted to sleep.
Rhysands face then turned playful as he turned towards me fully, "What? No show throwing this time?" His eyes were alight, almost pleading with me to play with him. But I was too tired.
I spared him a dead look and turned around to head back towards the hall with my room in it. Rhysand grabbed my wrist, turning me to face him. "Eat breakfast with me," he said.
His words were laced with something I could have misplaced as worry. His face was light and playful, yet his eyes had turned to beg me. He looked almost scared. Desperate.
"I'm not hungry," I replied.
"Please," he begged again.
"Don't you have anything else to do?" I asked, my voice monotone.
He shrugged, "Of course," a smirk then, "but I'll always make time for you."
I didn't want to eat. I just wanted to sleep. Sleep made everything go away for a while. Until the nightmares set in...still the same. Always the same.
"Fine." I breathed out, inclining my chin for him to lead the way. I could have sworn relief glittering in his eyes as he turned and stalked towards the dining room.
We walked through the lovely white archway, we had almost reached the table when the ball finally dropped. "I felt a spike of fear this month through our lovely bond. Anything exciting happens at the wonderful Spring Court?"
I just shrugged as I pulled out the chair, "Doesn't matter," this was the most I'd talked in a month apparently. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about it.
I looked up at him, watching as he pulled out a chair of his own. Rage flickered in his eyes—a swarm of rage and worry. I cocked my head at him, he seemed so concerned, and yet he was still so scrambled as to why.
I could have sworn the mountain almost shook beneath us.
"Why even ask if you already know?" I questioned as I went for the tea.
He spoke quietly, barely above a whisper, "Because these days, all I hear through that bond is nothing. Silence. Even with your shields up all the time, I should be able to feel you. And yet I don't. Sometimes I'll tug on the bond just to make sure you're still alive." Darkness guttered around him. Shadows crawled along his back as wings began taking shape. "And then one day, I'm in the middle of an important meeting, and terror blasts through the bond. All I get are glimpses of you and him, a wrecked room—then nothing. Silence. I'd like to know what caused such a disruption."
I picked up a bowl of fruit, not knowing if I could stomach much more than that at the moment if we were going to have that conversation. "It was nothing." I said, "I stepped out of line, the rest isn't of concern."
His rage guttered again and his wings were corporeal for a moment until they became shadows once again, "Is that why you look like your grief and guilt and rage are eating you apart, bit by bit?"
"Wheres Mor?" I asked as I speared some fruit on my fork. I didn't want to talk about it. It was none of his business anyway.
Rhysand tensed, looking momentarily disappointed before he recovered, "Away. She had duties to attend to." I nodded as I reached for some kind of pastry on the table but Rhysand stopped me with words.
"Did you give my offer any thought?" he asked.
"Yes," I leaned back in my chair, "I'm not going to work with you."
A sot of dark calm took over, "And why, Danika Darling, are you refusing me."
"My reasons are beyond you." I sipped from my tea gingerly, but Rhysand gave me a look that told me he wouldn't let it go until I gave him a reason, "You want to manipulate me into being a weapon for you, to me that's just another set of chains." I'd hoped he'd made the connection to my words Under the Mountain. Hoped that he would understand the fact I couldn't do what he wanted. I bore too many weights at the moment and I feared if any more were added I might just cease to exist all together.
"I want your help, not to manipulate you," he gave me a bewildered look as if the notion was absolutely ridiculous.
"Words are just empty promises."
Shadows danced around his shoulders once more, and his nostrils flared.
"Fine," he breathed, the word barely anything more than a breath, "I dug that grave myself, but I need your help, Danika." I felt the unspoken words there; ask me why; push me. Play with me.
But I just couldn't.
When Rhysand seemed to realize that, he spoke softly once more, "I was a prisoner in her court for nearly fifty years. I was tortured and beaten and fucked until only telling myself who I was, and what I had to protect, kept me from trying to find a way to end it. Please—help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian."
I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want innocent people to be enslaved again, "I want to, Rhys," I said to him, "I just... it's more complicated than it seems."
I went back to eating.
The two of us didn't spare another word for the rest of the meal.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
A/N: Dani's kind of being a lil...weird, but dw, It will change soon (Everything might also go to hell, but don't worry.)