Hey guys,
Sorry for not updating sooner. It's jacks birthday today!!!!! Happy birthday to him. Sadly the Leafs lost tonight, so they don't advance to round 2. I am not going to lie. I bawled my eyes out. Mitch's and Auston's post-game interviews made me bawl even more if it is possible. We will get them next year!
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I sat there for a good 10-15 minutes. She finally walked through the doors, so I jogged over to her before she could leave the rink.
" Can we talk?" I said
" About?"
"About how one for snapping at you and two that you are ignoring me and didn't have my back with the team in there," I said, clearly frustrated
" Fine, but it needs to be quick cause I am going home with Kayla."
I was shocked when she said, Kayla. The two hardly ever talked before, but now, they became close when Bailey and I weren't talking.
"Okay," we talked over to a table nearby. She sat on one side; I sat on the other.
" I wanted first to say I am sorry about what happened at the game. I had a panic attack the day before, so I wasn't in the right mindset. The team hates me; Kayla wasn't passing any pucks to me when I could have easily scored, she lied to the coach about me, and no one wants me on the team anymore. That is why I gave you a rude and short response when I got hurt. I know that either why I shouldn't have done that. There were a lot of other things on my mind." I say, looking down at my hands and messing with them. I looked over to see where Jack was, and he was walking back in and heading towards concussions.
"Second, I understand you were or are still mad at me, but I prefer if you don't like something I said or did talk to me about it instead of acting like I don't exist. Also, I know that you were mad at me, but I had no one to stick up for me in the locker room or even on the ice. It makes me feel like you didn't want me on the team." I say truthfully.
I finally look up and look her in the eyes. She had an unreadable facial expression. She rolled her eyes. We sat there in silents for a couple of seconds.
Bailey looks at me and says," I understand that you had a lot on your mind, but every time that happens, you either snap at me or drop off the face of the earth until you need someone to talk to or so on. I have put up with this for years, but you don't realize that you have said a hurtful thing to me when you get like that, and you don't remember saying stuff like that until someone reminds you. I am done with it. Until you fix something or act differently when you get into these states, I need a break from being your friend for now." she says, looking me dead straight in the eyes. I felt tears starting to form in my eyes. My heart was racing.
"The reason I didn't stick up for you back there is that I am not the only one who is done with your attitude, and no one cares that you have anxiety or whatever you have. You get everything that you want. I have been your friend since we were 2, and I didn't realize until now that you think you are better than everyone else. You get most of the press interviews, people only come to see you play and not the whole team, and you don't even act like a real captain." she says. I felt tears pouring out of my eyes.
When I talked to the coach, I believed him when he said they were just jealous. But now, I don't believe him one bit. I can't believe that people think I get what I want.
" If that's really how you feel, then great. You don't know everything; Bailey, and neither does the team. Talk to me when you or the team want to know the truth. I can't help that I have mental issues. I wish I don't have them. I have cried twice in the last two days." I pause.
" One of them is because of this team. Until yall wake up, don't bother taking to be or even bother thinking about going to finals and winning championships with teammates turning on each other for no reason." I continued, getting up from the table.
I don't care if I was making a scene because I am telling facts. I have tears pouring out of my eyes. Bailey has a blank stare in her eyes. Jack saw me stand up, and he started walking towards the exit door. I ran and met him outside. I just looked at him and bawled my eyes out even harder.
I walked up to him and hugged him tightly. He immediately wrapped his arms around me. One of his arms was on my back the other one was on the back of my head. I know I am getting tears all over his hoodie, but it didn't seem like he cared. We stayed there for a min. It was now 9 pm. The practice was 2 1/2 hours long.
" Why don't we start heading home? I will get you food on the way." He whispers
I nod my head. I realized from the hug and used my sleeve to wipe away my still-falling tears. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and headed to the car. I jumped in the front seat and stared out the window as the car started to move.
One thing that I love about my brothers is that they don't force me to talk. They know that when I am ready, I will tell them, which is usually not even a couple of hours later. We pulled up to order our Chick FIl A and grabbed it through the drive-thru.
I once again started to fidget with my fingers, and of course, jack saw. He just grabbed my hand and didn't say one word. He just held my hand until we got home. When we were about to get out of the car, I looked at Jack and said:
" hey jack, can you not tell the boys or Mom and Dad yet? I need a drama-free couple of days."
He looked at me and said," Of course, but you know they're going to learn something happened tonight. I won't say anything until you tell me to, okay?"
I nod and give him a thankful smile.
"Hey, Bella, I'll put your hockey stuff in the garage; you take in the food?"
"deal," I smiled
We chilled the rest of the night, watching whatever hockey was playing. We were currently on the couch, and it was around 11 pm.
" Hey, I am going to head to bed. Super tired after practice." I say, sitting up from laying my head on Quinn's lap and legs on Jack's.
" Okay, Hunny see you in the morning," my mom says as I give her a hug
" goodnight, bells," everyone else says in unison, chuckling slightly.
" night, Dad and my favorite brothers ever!" I say, running up the stairs.
When I got to my room, I heard," Sucks for Luke; we are her favorite brothers!!!"
I laugh. Before shutting the door, I say, " Love yall to the moon and back times 3000!"
In my family, most of the time, when we say I love you before we go to bed or do not see each other for a couple of days, we either say to the moon and back, or I love you 3000 from the Avengers.
Once I was alone, my worries about Bailey came flooding back into my brain. My brothers can make me forget about all the bad stuff going on.
I had already taken a shower and got my pj's on, which were a t-shirt from Quinn's closet that's oversized and a pair of black shorts. I pulled the shirts over and climbed in. I picked up my phone and started to go through old pics of me and Bailey.
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Jacks povs
Bella just closed her door after yelling I love you to the moon and back times 3000. God, I love her so much. She is the light of our family. She does have anxiety and panic attacks, but she is still a goofy, caring, and loving sister and, in general, a human being,
We were flipping through some of the games still going on. I saw Mom turn her head towards me in the corner of my eye.
"Hey, Jack," I heard her say, causing me to look at her.
" yea?"
" do you know if Bella and Bailey talked at practice or even acknowledged each other?" she questions me.
"yea, did they talk? They are on the rocks from what happened at the game," Quinn desires to butt in.
I need to come up with something bc I can't just answer them, and I can't tell them fully bc I told Bella I wouldn't
" I didn't see them now that I think about it. Coach made them do teamwork drills and conditioned them hard today, and I didn't see them say a word or even look at each other," I say partially lying.
" dang, then maybe something happened in the locker room. Like they are best friends, they can't be mad at each other longer than a day." Quinn says, looking at mom
" Hopefully, this resolves soon; bc, in reality, Bailey is Bella's only friend that she hangs out with outside of hockey besides you boys," Mom says, looking defeated.
I nod, going along with what they are saying.
"let's give her a couple of days before we bring this up or unless she tells us herself," I say
They both nod in agreement.
" Alright, y'all, I am going to head upstairs. I will check on bells and then go to bed," I say, stretching before standing up.
"I am going up with u to check on bells," Quinn says, and I nod.
I kissed Mom on the cheek and told her I loved her 3000, and so did Quinn. We started saying 3000 bc Bells when she first watched The Avengers used to say it all the time, and now it had just become a thing.
" We should cheer her up without telling/ showing that we are if that makes sense," Quinn says as we talk up the stairs.
" We should have a sleepover in her room," I say, knowing she would love it.
Quinn agreed, and we grabbed brackets and snacks.
Once we grabbed everything, I knocked on Bella's door, and we heard a faint come in.
I opened the door, and we saw her on her phone, all snuggled up in the bed.
"what are you guys doing," she says, seeing what we have in our hands
" SLEEPOVER," me and Quinn say in unison, making Bella giggle.
She says," Alright, come here," moving towards the middle of the bed, leaving room for Quinn and me on both sides.
We jumped in and laid everything out on top of her sheets. We all decided on watching Cars 3. We ate cookie dough and laughed a lot. Bella started getting tired.
"I love you guys more than anything, and I am going o miss nights like these when yall are gone," she says sleepily.
" We love more bells," Quinn says
" We love you to the moon and back times 3000," I say, copying what she said earlier, making her chuckle.
She turned onto her belly and used my arm as a pillow, and grabbed Quinn's hand to hold. She fell asleep, and Quinn and I looked at her in awe before falling asleep.
We love our Bella, and we wouldn't trade her for the world.