Katrina Johnson
I was having a mixture of feelings as I let go of Mason's hand. I was thrilled that he finally remembered me and thanks to what? Thanks to a silly joke he once told me. I don't even know why I blurted it out. I just felt like I had to say it out loud. Aside from being happy, I was alarmed by his words. 'I remembered the pain.' Obviously, I had hurt him more than I thought I did. A few times after being ignored, he just stopped trying to reach me and I thought he just got over me. I never thought I caused him so much pain.
"Mason..."
"No, don't Kat. I remember everything. I remember you coming into my room, making it clear you wanted me. The next morning you just left without saying anything, and after that, you ghosted me, Kat! Why would you do that to me? You knew how much you meant to me. You knew that night meant to me a lot more than just sex... unless..."
"Unless what, Mason? Please don't over-analyze this and misunderstand my reaction..." I pleaded looking deeply into his eyes.
"Unless you hated it. Was it that bad? Huh? Was it that bad that you did everything you can to avoid me even during work meetings?"
"Oh, Mason... That night was far from being bad."
"Then what? It's driving me crazy again, just like it did before!"
"It was the most special night I had, Mason," I spoke softly.
"Then why did you run from me, Kat!"
"I didn't run from you! I was running from myself!" He calmed down and looked at me confusion clear on his face. "I've been avoiding you my whole life for two reasons. The first one was that I thought I wasn't that important, I thought you didn't remember me when in fact you did but you didn't recognize me. The second reason was fear. My fears and complexes."
I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away "I was scared to let you in. I was scared to love you only to be rejected afterward. I was protecting myself from heartbreak. And I was successful until I met Ayden and he shattered me. Then you came back into my life and I didn't trust myself around you... I did my best to stay away no matter how strong the pull to you was. And that night..."
Mason took my hand in his encouraging me. I gave him a weak smile, "That night I couldn't stop myself. I was having an internal battle... I wanted you and for the first time in my life I forgot about my insecurities and I completely let go of my worries. But when I woke up the next morning, I felt at peace, I felt happy in your arms and at home. Those feelings terrified me, Mason, they were foreign to me and I needed time to understand them. I needed time to reconcile with myself thinking I had made the biggest mistake of my life because one day, you'll wake up and realize I'm not good enough for you. You'll realize how different we are and you'll want nothing to do with me."
"Kat, I would never..."
"I know that now... but at the time I didn't. I ran away because I freaked out at how good it was being with you. I had never felt like that with anyone, and I was distraught by it. My insecurities resurfaced, and I was nervous and an emotional mess. I was breaking all over again, so I left. I wanted to be ready for you Mason, I thought I'll just disappear for a few days..."
"But days turned into weeks, and weeks into months..."
I nodded nibbling nervously on my lower lip. I had just poured out my heart to him. I had just told him everything I felt that night. And now he'll truly see me as the mess I really am.
"Everyone told me to follow my heart, but how could I when my heart was already broken into tiny pieces? I was so lost when I saw you in that conference room. I was building up my walls again, to protect myself from you... but I failed and you know why?"
"I want to hear it from you."
"I didn't need to protect myself from you, I needed to protect myself from me. From my stupid anxiety and insecurities."
"Because I would never hurt you, Kat, never. I want you to trust me on that."
"I trust you with all my heart, Mason, but I don't trust myself."
He reached out and caressed my cheek gently as his boyish smirk appeared, "So, no more running?"
My eyes widened "You... You forgive me?"
He leaned into me, our faces only inches away. With his breath fanning my lips, I could feel my heart diving into the waves of our strong feelings. He hesitantly brushed his warm lips over mine and I melted into him. I pressed my lips to his kissing him back with urgency. I could feel him smirking over my lips before he took the lead of the kiss and deepened it, probing at my lower lip asking for entrance which I eagerly granted. Our tongues danced together in the warmth of our desire and longing.
"You are my obsession," Mason whispered against my lips, "My passion," he stole a feathery kiss "But also my biggest weakness." He pulled away slowly and gently, locking his gaze with mine. "There isn't a world in which I couldn't forgive you. I'll always forgive you Katrina, and that," He paused letting out a heavy sigh, "That really is my biggest weakness."
"I..." I rested my forehead against his, trying to even my breath and gather up my courage and finally speak up. "I love you Mason Walton, more than you can ever imagine."
"I can't believe I'm hearing those words from you." He chuckled cupping my cheek again "I love you too Katrina Johnson."
"It's about time!" We were both startled by his dad's voice and looked at him as if we had been caught red-handed. "Elise! You missed the most amazing love confession honey!"
Elise came rushing in and looked at us giddily. She squealed and hugged her husband "Finally!" She looked at us with the widest grin I had ever seen on her. "I'm so happy for you both! Oh... we need to celebrate!" She left the room only to come back "Oh, Katrina honey, you need to call your parents and let them know you're staying here tonight."
"I am?" I asked looking from her to Mason.
"The roads are closing up from the snow, I was barely able to get home. It's not safe on the roads right now." Mr. Walton informed me.
"I'm sure your parents won't mind right?"
"Elise, I... I would love to stay but I'm not sure how my dad will take it, to be honest."
"Don't worry about that old man, I'll talk to him right now." Mr. Walton smiled and left the room.
"Do you have your memories back?" Elise asked her son hopefully.
"Everything concerning Kat, yes." He admitted taking my hand in his.
"Everything?"
He chuckled "Yes mom, the good and the bad."
She let out a sigh of relief "Good, good. I'm so happy you kids have no idea! Dinner is almost ready, so go wash up while I prepare the guest bedroom for Katrina."
"Guest bedroom? No, she's staying with me, in my room."
"Mason!" I whispered, "That wouldn't be appropriate!"
"I don't care. I'm not taking no for an answer."
His mom looked at us with an approving smile before swiftly leaving us alone. I looked at him and felt like I was walking on puffy clouds with butterflies dancing in my stomach. What we shared was real, and I was done fighting my feelings for him.
I was sure now that he accepted me the way I was. He accepted my anxiety, my insecurities, and self-doubt. But most importantly he accepted my dark coloring and my African roots. I understood that now. I knew that all this time I was scared of something that wasn't even in Mason's mind. He loved me for who I was, and I loved him for everything he was.
Dinner was amazing, we were all happy and Elise insisted on celebrating 'us'. She also apologized to Mason for pushing Eloise into his life and expressed how delighted she was that he ended up with me and not Eloise. It boosted my ego and self-confidence to hear those words from her.
I was worried about how Helena would react but Mr. Walton immediately dismissed the thoughts from my mind saying he'll have a word with his daughter and everything will be fine. He then changed the subject by telling me about his phone call to my dad. He was reluctant at first but when Mr. Walton brought up my safety and well-being he instantly agreed with him.
"Are you comfortable like that?" I asked Mason as I tucked a pillow under his broken arm.
"Yes, thank you. I can't wait to take that stupid cast off just so I can hug you tightly to me and never let go."
I blushed, going to his drawer chest and opening the last drawer "When are you taking it off?"
"I have my appointment in a couple of days. You'll go with me right?"
I pulled out one of his old shirts and turned to face him. "Of course, I will. You shouldn't even ask that question." I went into his bathroom to change into his old shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and freed my hair from the bun I had, letting it fall in waves over my shoulder. Mason's shirt reached my mid-thighs and looked so good on me.
I walked back into his room with confidence only stopping when I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in."
Elise came in a pile of clothes "Oh..." She smiled "I brought you some things to try on, but I see you already found something. It looks good on you" She remarked placing the clothes on the edge of Mason's bed. "You can try them on tomorrow, it will be freezing, you'll need warm fuzzy pajamas." She smiled at us and headed to the door.
"Thank you, Elise, it means a lot. And thank you for letting me stay."
"Don't mention it, and I'm sure you'll be staying here a lot from now on." She winked at me "Good night kids."
"If only you could see your face right now." Mason laughed "Come, Kitty Kat, it's late. Let's get some sleep."
"I love it when you call me Kitty Kat, but don't do it in public please." I slipped under the covers and snuggled to his side. I kissed him softly.
"I won't, this is personal and private. You're mine Katrina Johnson, you're my Kitty Kat."
"I love you, Mason."
"I love you too baby."
I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes happily, listening to his heartbeats. I felt at peace with myself and everything else. I felt content with how the events turned out. I strongly believed in fate, and I was sure fate had something to do with that. Maybe it took me so long to accept who I was so I would end up with Mason and not someone else. I looked at my dark skin against his white arm and smiled, accepting the difference without any kind of fear.
"Good night my Kitty Kat."