Jocelyn took a heavy breath and shifted on the soft couch nervously. Her stare was on her hands resting on the silk pillow sitting on her lap, fiddling her thumbs as an anxious habit. Like every Friday morning, she was trapped in an appointment with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s therapist. Dave took the initiative to reach out to Tony Stark about his concerns with Jocelyn's mental health after everything that occurred after homecoming. Tony Stark, who feels protective over Jocelyn after the explosion and sees her like his own daughter, immediately got concerned. The two men started discussing ways to help her and resulted with the decision for Jocelyn to resume therapy. The same therapist she had many years ago after her mom's death.
Jocelyn's hair was braided and twisted back into a bun flawlessly. She wore a grey flared skirt that reached just above her knees and a blush pink long sleeve shirt tucked in. On her feet were white sneakers for comfort to match the cute and simple look. Her anxious expression differed from her flawless appearance. Her thoughts were stuck on rethinking the same repetitive question that her therapist was waiting for an answer.
And how does that make you feel?
How does that make her feel? How would crying herself to sleep at night and dreading waking up each day make her feel?
"I feel lonely..." Jocelyn mumbled sadly. "It's silly. I have four amazing friends, a dad who loves me, and a sister who stuck to my hip. I don't know why I feel lonely when my life is surrounded by people." Jocelyn looked up with a frown.
Dr. Christina Raynor sat in the chair across the room from the couch with a notebook in her lap. Her age brought wrinkles on her cheeks and forehead, making her brown eyes appear softer. Her brown hair was tied back in a low bun that was loose and barely held up. She wore black trousers and a white blouse to represent her professionally. The woman appeared intimidating but she had a kind smile to vanish any despair that may be thought.
"It is possible to feel lonely when you aren't alone." Dr Raynor explained kindly. Jocelyn's lips curled to a frown and her eyes scrunched together confused. "Think of it this way," Dr. Raynor spoke up noticing Jocelyn's confusion. "Penguins travel in herds which can consist of dozens to thousands penguins. They all constantly move together and create a bond. But, when a penguin finds their mate, they are attached to another side until death."
"I'm not following."
Dr. Raynor smiled warmly. "You, Jocelyn, are in your herd of penguins. Surrounded by dozens or hundreds of others but you are still mindlessly searching for someone." Jocelyn nodded slowly, understanding the relation. "What about Lucas? You two seem close from what you have told me." Dr. Raynor asked.
Jocelyn shook her head. "He is just a friend." She explained, though she was partially lying.
Dr. Raynor clicked her pen and scribbled something down on her notebook. "Have you told him about everything?" She asked referring to Jocelyn's mental and emotional state.
Jocelyn shook her head in denial.
Dr. Raynor frowned and made another note on her notebook. "I want to try something." She said setting her pen down on her note book and looked up at Jocelyn. "I want you to close your eyes and clear your mind." Dr. Raynor instructed in a calmly matter. Jocelyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes hesitantly. "Sink into the couch and let all your worries wash away."
Jocelyn did just that. She leaned back into the couch and took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves down.
"Now picture yourself in your safe place. Whether that is at a beach, in your bedroom, or maybe cuddled up with a good book." Dr. Raynor stated softly. Jocelyn's mind brought her to the one place she felt truly safe. The apartment building rooftop on 5th Avenue. "Now in this safe place, there is someone standing, or sitting, in front of you. This person would never judge you and is someone you feel safe around. Now, imagine yourself telling this person everything you have ever kept inside-"
A faint smile appeared on Jocelyn's lips when the sight of the brown eyed, curly haired boy appeared in front of her giving a geeky smile. He was wearing one of his many science pun's shirts that always made Jocelyn smile. Beside him was another person. It shocked her to see two people but it made sense when she saw and recognized him. He wore the same red and blue spandex suit, tilting his head playfully like usual making her smile wider.
"This is the person you want to open up too." Dr. Raynor admitted.
Jocelyn felt her smile fade and she opened her eyes realizing that the two people she wanted to confide to, were the same people she has been recently distant from: Peter Parker and Spiderman
"So, who did you see?" Dr. Raynor asked with a smile, taking her pen between her fingers and ready to write down the following name.
Jocelyn hesitated telling Dr. Raynor the truth. But the whole point of therapy was to be truthful so she can't stop now. "I-I uh, saw Spiderman and a boy in my class, named Peter Parker." Jocelyn dropped her head towards her lap and missed the shocked expression on Dr. Raynor's face.
"You saw two people?" She asked surprised and ironically thought how they were the same person.
Jocelyn nodded. "Yeah. But I told you what happened between them both. Peter hadn't spoken to me since he rejected me and Spiderman has been distance ever since I rejected him." Jocelyn huffed irritated.
Dr. Raynor nodded and scribbled a note down on her pad. "As your therapist and friend, I think you should talk to them." She said looking up at Jocelyn with a kind smile. "It is clear your conscious wants to confide to them. But you are fighting against these desires. Why are you keeping yourself back?"
"To protect myself from getting hurt." Jocelyn responded too quickly.
Dr. Raynor frowned at the comment and nodded sadly. The teenage girl had a lot of secrets in her life and have been holding onto them for too long. Dr. Raynor wondered how long she has been keeping these emotions inside since she hasn't been to therapy in years.
Dr. Raynor glanced at the clock on the wall behind Jocelyn and sighed. "Well, our time is up for today. But think about what I said in confiding into Spiderman and Peter. I promise it will help you, Jocelyn." She reassured.
Jocelyn nodded and rose from her seat, grabbing her school bag beside her feet. Dr. Raynor rose from her seat and walked to the door, opening it up for the teenager. She smiled kindly to the teenage girl as she walked out and into the hallway of the compound who kept her head own the whole time.
Jocelyn let out a deep breath when Dr. Raynor closed the door behind her, feeling her emotions all over the place. She slipped on her bag on her shoulder and agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. walked up and down the hallways, passing by the teenager without giving her a second glance.
Jocelyn glanced up and down the hallway, half expecting to see Tony Stark, Spiderman, or another Avenger walking around the corner wishing to see a familiar face. When she was disappointed to see neither, she began walking down the hallway to her right.
Her head hung low rethinking the words of Dr. Raynor. Maybe Dr. Raynor has a PhD in Psychology but why should Jocelyn listen to her? Her advice may be a decent idea but that doesn't mean Jocelyn will follow it.
Turning a corner, Jocelyn walked into the lobby of the building and towards the front door where a car should be waiting to take her to school in front of the building. The front door opened and a woman walked in on the phone.
"-invention, Tony! How do you loose a billion-dollar android?" The blonde woman groaned. Her gaze fell onto a teenage girl walking towards her with her head hung low. A smile grew on the woman's face recognizing the girl instantly. "Tony, look, I got to go. But try rebooting Vision's tracking system and find him." She paused. "I love you too. I'll see you tonight." She hung up the phone and slid it into her pocket, walking directly towards the teenage girl.
"Jocelyn Evans, I presume?"
Jocelyn's head rose to meet the strawberry blonde's gaze. Her mouth parted in shock seeing the famous Pepper Potts standing in front of her. Her smooth hair was tied into a tight pony tail and her pink lips raised into a smile. She wore a black business attire dress that reached her knees and matched her black heels. She carried a briefcase with her and Jocelyn wondered if there were hundred dollar bills inside to match the prestigious look.
Because, you know, that made the most sense.
"Mrs. Potts?" Jocelyn asked in awe. "I-I am a huge fan!" Her nerves faded and her excitement began to flourish.
Pepper chuckled. "Pepper is fine, dear." She insisted. "And I am a huge fan of your work. Tony speaks so highly about you all the time and truthfully, I was in awe of everything. When I was your age, I never would consider risking my life the way you do daily." She admitted.
Jocelyn's smile grew from the compliment. Ever since Jocelyn read about Pepper Potts becoming the owner of Stark Industries, Jocelyn looked up to the woman greatly. There aren't many women representing their work in society. To have Pepper Potts owning Stark industries, regardless of the hatred and backlash thrown her way, Jocelyn was a fan of the woman's resiliency. Not to mention the love story between Pepper Potts and Tony Stark was adorable! Jocelyn would fawn over their story and recent engagement, wishing she would find her happy ending like Pepper did.
"T-thank you..." Jocelyn mumbled in awe.
Pepper smiled. "I've been wanting to meet you for a while." She admitted. "Unfortunately, I have to run off to a meeting and I am sure you have school to attend. But stop by any time you want or give me a call if you ever want to get a hot chocolate." Pepper took out a small business card from the brief case pocket and handed it to Jocelyn.
Jocelyn took it delicately in her hands as if it was made from glass. On the black business card was Stark Industry in a gold font, with Pepper's name below it and her position as CEO. Below her name was an address to her office and a phone number.
Pepper's phone began to buzz and she sighed tiredly. She took it out of her dress pocket (which amazed Jocelyn further) and checked the name on the screen.
"Excuse me, Jocelyn. I have to take this. My soon-to-be husband is the most childish and unorganized person I have ever met." Pepper said with a smile staring down at her phone.
Jocelyn chuckled and Pepper wished her goodbye, before adventuring off further into the building leaving Jocelyn standing there starstruck. That brief conversation just made her entire life.
***
Peter shoved his books in his locker, glancing up and down the hallway for the sixth time in the past minute. The entire morning, he has been looking for Jocelyn in the hallway's but failed to find her. He had been gathering his courage all morning to talk to her and anxiously awaiting to find her.
On cue, the front doors of Midtown opened and in walked the high school sweetheart. Peter swore the world froze when he saw her. She was walking towards him, staring down at her phone and two earbuds in her ears blasting her favourite music.
Peter gulped nervously seeing how tight her shirt is and how short her skirt is. But, she still looked effortlessly beautiful. She stopped at her locker just down the hall from his and began flicking her lock back and forth.
I can do this. I'll go, ask about her morning, and, uh, complement her. Yeah! That should work. Peter thought trying to reassure himself.
Peter took his Spanish book out of his locker and stacked a few extra books on top, to spare him the time later of having to come back to grab them. He shut his locker, adjusted his bag, and turned towards Jocelyn.
He took a deep breath and took a step forward when someone slapped the books in his hand to the ground. Peter frowned, looking at the ground seeing his splattered books and heard the villainous chuckle of Flash.
"Watch it, Penis Parker. Evan is way out of your league." Flash chuckled walking past Peter with his evil friends trailing behind him, previously seeing how he was looking at the girl across the hall.
Peter's confidence vanished and didn't bother raising his head to look at Flash. He heard Flash's laughter fade as he walked off, making Peter kneel down on the ground to pick up his books feeling like a fool. Flash's words hit a lot harder than he would like. He had been gaining confidence all morning to talk to her and he crumbled within seconds by Flash's bullying, like usual.
Curious to know if Jocelyn witnessed the whole thing, he glanced up to see her on the phone laughing at whoever was on the other end not even noticing Flash bully him moments ago. Jocelyn always stepped up for Peter in the past, so whoever was on the other end must have been important.
Peter began to listen to her speak with his enhanced super hearing to whoever she was speaking too, ignoring the guilt of eavesdropping. Though Peter had a good hunch on who was on the other end.
"I get it, Lucas. You got a call from Stark. You don't have to feel bad about skipping...." Jocelyn paused and laughed. "Oh, I am heart broken. But seriously, it's fine. I'll make sure to get your homework and give it to you tonight....Of course we are still good for 7 o'clock tomorrow! I've been dying to see this movie for ages." Jocelyn paused and laughed again. "Lucas, you know I hate when you pay for me-"
Jocelyn shut her locker and began walking down the hallway towards Peter, still on the phone. He immediately dropped his head, pretending to not have been eavesdropping moments ago. He stacked his books on top of another when Jocelyn walked by not bothering to glance at him.
Peter frowned and glanced over his shoulder, seeing Jocelyn walking confidently down the hallway and speaking over the phone, acting like he was invisible. Peter gulped nervously at the questions that appeared in his mind.
Was Jocelyn Evans finally over Peter Parker?
"Why did you want to invite others? I thought, that maybe, you know, it could just be us two?" Lucas asked Jocelyn worried over the phone.
Jocelyn frowned and set her books down on her desk in the Spanish classroom. "Mary Jane has been wanting to see the movie for a while and we promised to go together." She lied, sliding into her assigned chair.
"Well can't you just lie and go with MJ another time?" Lucas asked a bit desperately.
Jocelyn frowned at his persistence. "Lucas, I can't lie to my friends." She sighed quietly, her fingers drumming on her desk nervously.
"A white lie won't hurt anyone." Lucas said. Jocelyn remained silent, bitting her lower lip as the truth was finally rising. "Or is there another reason you don't want to go with just me..?" Lucas asked connecting the dots.
"Lucas-"
"Is this because of Peter?" He asked, his tone cold.
Jocelyn took a deep breath and opened her mouth to respond when Peter walked through the classroom door. He immediately caught her gaze and gave her a faint sad smile. Jocelyn hated the butterflies she felt in her stomach.
"-I have to go, Lucas. I will call you later." Jocelyn hung up the phone without giving Lucas a chance to respond or argue.
Peter approached his desk and dropped his books on the table with a thump, wincing from the attention it gained. He shot the few students in the room an apologetic look who glared at him for breaking the silence. Jocelyn laugh softly from the innocent look he was giving. Peter looked at her with a small smile, from hearing her giggle.
"Good job, Parker." She whispered teasingly flipping her notebook open to the next blank page.
Peter took a seat beside her, his cheeks getting red. "Sorry..." He mumbled shuffling in his seat.
"Good thing you are better at school than you are at being quiet." Jocelyn joked, glancing over at him.
"Hey!" Peter whisper shouted, his cheeks getting redder when Jocelyn laughed again.
Peter smiled at Jocelyn and his heart thumping in his chest. Jocelyn looked down to her notes and began scribbling down some words in Spanish that she forgot to do last night. Peter stared at the strand of hair that slipped from her braided bun and hung in front of her face. He studied her soft features of Jocelyn's expression changing from determination, frustration, and thinking when writing her answers.
Feeling a set of eyes on her, Jocelyn glanced over seeing Peter staring deeply at her. A faint blush appeared on her cheeks as she smiled softly at him.
"Staring is rude, Pete." She teased quietly.
Peter's cheeks flushed redder and looked down at his paper in front of him in embarrassment. Jocelyn smiled and turned to her own paper work as the teacher stepped in the room.
"Hola estudiantes!" Señor Gomez announced loudly. "¿Cómo se siente hoy?" He asked the room, writing the question on the board.
Jocelyn's smile widened when she heard Peter mumble beside her quietly, assuming no one heard. She bit down her bottom lip trying to contain her smile, looking up at the teacher feeling butterflies in her stomach.
"Nervioso..." He whispered under his breath. "Muy nervioso..."