Book Title: The Girl From The Mountain Hut
Author's Name: Maroon3YEGirl
Reviewed by: FmEver
The review was edited by ineedutoomuch
Cover: 6/10
The picture is pretty, but that's the first thing I notice when looking at it. The title should be in the center. And where's the girl? Isn't she the protagonist?
Title: 10/10
That's the ideal title for this story!
Blurb/Description: 8/10
I didn't like the last two lines: "And...hut." because they don't flow nicely and don't fit with the rest of the blurb.
I like the blurb, but I think there are some long phrases and a couple of sentences could be more direct. Here's how I would alter the blurb, keeping the same sentences but changing a couple of things:
"In an attempt to escape her dreadful past, a young maiden leaves behind her home and stays away from others, alone in a mountain hut. However, the truth she's desperately trying to hide about the war of her people and the secret she's kept from everyone are about to be revealed.
Her life takes a dangerous turn when she's faced with the demons of her past and her only friend's life is on the line. Will she handle all the destruction and problems that arose to fight for her life?"
Creativity and originality: 10/10
Honestly, I've never read anything like your story. You are a creative and talented writer. I cannot even imagine how you managed to create a story like this and write it in this way.
Plot and Flow: 18/20
The story is very interesting. It reminds me of fairy tales where a person is feared by their villagers. However, in this case, the girl seems to be kind and lonely. I'd like to know more about her mother, her everyday life, and her interactions with other people (if there were any in the beginning).
I'm also wondering how a healing power can come from dark magic. Why are her healing powers a problem and danger? According to the blurb, something dark is hidden in her past, but I wasn't able to guess it.
The repetition of "the girl from the mountain hut" at the end of each verse is a little tiring, especially after reading multiple chapters in a row. This is the only thing that ruined the flow for me.
Character Development: 8/10
It's very interesting that the girl doesn't remember her name. Will she find out? Or will she be given a new one by Seth? <3
I like her chemistry with Seth because it shows her personality as well as a bit of her backstory. However, I wish the dialogue was longer. This would provide more information, because in the first 15 chapters we know almost nothing about her.
Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 9/10
The grammar is correct (I noticed one mistake only) and I love your vocabulary. Here are the only two mistakes I found.
In Chapter 4, the fourth verse, it should be: "even though" instead of "event."
In Chapter 5, the first verse, it should be: "realization started to grow."
Genre relevance: 10/10
This is a great fantasy story.
Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 10/10
Overall: 89/100
I've never read anything like your story and I would never expect to like this kind of writing. However, I love this story! The words, the verses, the lines; everything flows nicely and effortlessly. The chapters are small so the plot doesn't progress quickly. I'm not sure if longer chapters would help.
I admire your talent and I wish more people would read your story!
Best of luck!