A/n:somthing very exciting happens at the end of chapter.
Peter's POV
There is something on top of me. Debris is all around me, I can feel it. But that's the only sense that is working: touch. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE! All I can see is darkness. I can't see. I can't see. I CAN'T SEE! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP—
I sat up in my bed, gasping for air as I hear a knock on the door.
"Hey? Are you in there? It's 7:10, dude." I hear Harley's voice from outside my apartment door.
"Shit." I whispered to myself as I jumped out of bed and quickly changed into clothes suitable for school. I ran to my bathroom and patted down my hair so it didn't look like I just rolled out of bed. I quickly brush my teeth and stuff my suit in my book bag and run to the door. I swung the door open to be met with a very concerned Harley.
"Are you okay? You look... dead." He said bluntly.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. W-why wouldn't I be okay?" I said, clearly not sounding believable.
"You just woke up, didn't you?" He said. I leaned backwards so I could look at myself in the mirror by the door.
I looked like literal shit. I had these huge bags under my eyes and my hair was still messy. Although, I did need a haircut too. My clothes were all wrinkled and he was right; I looked dead.
"That obvious, huh?" I let out a forced chuckle as I balanced myself back on both feet.
"When did you fall asleep?" He joked, but at the same time, it didn't seem like a joke. He seemed genuinely worried.
And I didn't need everyone and him worrying about how I take care of myself. I am fine.
"A little after Midnight." I lied, "Had a lot of work to do."
"Peter—" He tried.
"I'm fine, okay? Can you just, take me to school?" I said a little harshly, pushing past him.
The ride to school was quiet. A few times, I felt myself nodding off, but I immediately pinched my thigh when I noticed myself giving in. I saw a coffee shop in front of us. It wasn't my coffee shop, but I needed something.
"Can we stop for coffee? I know I'm probably gonna make us late, but—"
"No, no it's fine. Uh, we can go through the drive thru." He said as he turned into it.
"Your regular?" He asked me.
I nodded, "But uh, could you add three shots of expresso?" He looked at me worryingly but nodded nonetheless.
He gave me my coffee, which I finished by the time we got to school. I still felt tired, but I had a little energy.
My first period was hard. I kept dosing off, but I was able to stay awake for most of it. At the end of class my teacher pulled me aside.
"Are you okay, Peter?" She asked me and I just nodded. "Maybe you should go to the nurse, just to uh, rest for a while."
"I'm fine, but thank you." I said and left before she could say anything else. Harley was right outside the door and I jumped when I saw him. Now my senses were filled because of the lack of sleep. Great.
"What was that about?" He asked me and I just shrugged.
By lunch time, the sight of food made me nauseous. And the smell. I don't remember ever being nauseous at the sight of food because I was tired, so maybe I was sick.
"Hey are you gonna eat?" Ned asked as he sat down and I shook my head slowly. I winced as I shook my head as I felt this piercing pain against my brain.
"Are you okay?" MJ asked, mirroring the worried expression on Harley's face.
"I'm fine, I just have a headache." I answered bitterly with no remorse.
I looked up to see Flash walking over to me. I rolled my eyes as he whispered once he got close enough. "Do they know too?"
I suddenly felt like puking at the smell of my friend's food, even though they were on the other side of the table. I then realized it probably wasn't only that that was causing my nausea but I hadn't eaten since that sandwich from Delmars yesterday. A dizzy spell hit me as I rubbed my temples because of the agonizing pain pounding against my head.
"Not now, Flash." Harley said for me. I couldn't see Flash's face, but I knew even he had a worried expression plastered on his face. I looked around to see in Flash's bag was a can of RedBull.
"Can I have that?" I asked and I refused to look at Harley because by now, he definitely knew what was going on.
Glucuronolactone and caffeine. I just need to finish the school day and then go home, go to sleep, and get the nightmares out of the way.
I don't need a fucking therapist to talk to about something I already know I have. I have nightmares. That doesn't mean I have PTSD.
"Uh, yeah. Sure." Flash handed me the RedBull and as soon as I opened it, I felt a wave of nausea come crashing down. I closed my eyes for a second and then downed about half of it. "Are you okay, Parker?"
I turned to Flash, "I'm really getting sick and tired of people asking me that." I got up just about a second before the bell rang for my next class. Good to know my spidey senses are back up.
I downed the rest of the energy drink and threw the can away. Still tired, but now I knew I could get through the day.
I felt Harley's eyes on me the entire time during gym. I mean I never did turn in that Doctors note to the coach, which Harley was still kind of bitter about. But I knew sitting out of Gym after being sick was going to seem suspicious. I felt like passing out right then and there, but I couldn't. I could control myself. I could take care of myself.
After school I asked him to take me straight home. Harley of course agreed, since it was my day off work. He walked me to my door and just stood there.
"What?" I asked.
"MJ told me about your... nightmares." Harley said as he bit his lip, "Don't be mad at her! I just... I asked her if she knew what was wrong with you today and she told me that it could be your um... nightmares."
I took in a deep breath and tried to keep from crying. "I uh, I didn't want you to know that." I said softly. He walked into the apartment and closed the door. He seemed hurt.
"Why?"
"Because... it's stupid." I looked down as I kicked at the invisible dirt on the floor.
He took both my hands into his. "That's impossible. You? Stupid?" He took my chin so I could look up at him, "What is it?"
"I— I didn't want you to think I was this pathetic guy who couldn't even deal with a few flashbacks."
"Flashbacks?"
"Well, that's what Tony's therapist calls them. But they only happen when I'm asleep except for that one time so they are nightmares and—"
"Peter, you aren't pathetic. You have dealt with so much shit in your life, even before you were Spider-Man. That makes you strong. Not weak. Most people can't even fathom what you have gone through." He stopped for a second, "Is that why you didn't tell me you saw a therapist?"
"It was a few days ago. She um... she says I have PTSD. And it scares me because the more nightmares I have the more she starts to make sense. I can't sleep because I always end up back there."
"Back where?"
"Back on Titan, or under that building."
"Oh." He said, as if he understood. He was the first person I told about this, just as Spider-Man. "Do— do you think it would help if I slept with you? I mean not like—"
"Could you?" I sounded so pathetic as I could hear my voice crack.
"Of course." He said with a soft smile. "But, uh, how about you eat something first? You haven't eaten anything at all today. And I remember hearing Dr. Cho say you have to consume at least 7,000 calories a day."
"I'm really nauseous and I-"
"Because you haven't eaten." He interrupted me. I gave him a glare before heading to the kitchen and taking out a granola bar.
I ate a little more than half. I told him I literally could not eat anymore without puking so he didn't push me. I went to my bedroom and dropped my book bag and was about to check my phone before he snatched it from me and pointed at the bed. I hesitantly got into the bed and he laid down next to me, not too close, but close enough to accelerate my heart rate. But it quickly slowed down and my eyelids became heavy.
I could feel Harley playing with my hair and it felt really nice. I finally allowed myself to close my eyes and allowed the peaceful darkness to take over.
Harley's POV
He was perfect when he slept. He looked so beautiful and the soft little comforting noises that left his mouth were so cute. His hair was getting pretty long and kinda shabby, but I liked it. It was kinda like mine, but not quite as long.
I know it was kinda creepy, but I could watch him sleep for hours. About an hour after he had fallen asleep, I decided to fall asleep too.
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing and I picked it up to see it was Tony. I tried to sit up, but then noticed Peter's arm wrapped around my waist. I knew he was strong, but he had a surprisingly strong grasp when he was asleep. I answered the phone.
"Hello?" I whispered.
"Harley? Where are you? Wait— why are you whispering? Are you with someone? Are you... y'know."
"I'm at Peter's."
"Ohhh. I see." I could practically see his smirk through the call.
"No, it's not like that. He's— he's been having nightmares and he hasn't slept in a few days, probably since he regained consciousness after the fight, and I wanted to help." I pulled the phone off my ear to look at the time that read 9:10. "Oh. It is kinda late. Do you need me? I can try to get him off—"
"No, no, it's fine. Wait, off?"
"Tony, I swear to God..." I warned him in the harshest way I could without waking up Peter.
"I'm kidding. Just uh, I guess I'm kinda hurt he didn't tell me." Tony said.
"It's not your fault, Tony. He just... he has trouble expressing his feelings. You know this."
"Yeah, you're right. Just... watch over him for me. Okay? And I'm serious, Harley. If you don't just go for it soon, he is gonna slip right through your—"
I hung up on him and smiled at myself. I put the phone back down and slowly turned back to Peter. I moved the strand of hair that was blocking me from seeing his perfect face and just smiled at him.
I kept asking myself why I wouldn't just go for it, but the answer is right in front of me. I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him. I don't even know if he is likes guys and everything points to him not.
And then last night, I almost ruined it all. He probably already forgot about it because he literally has no interest in me. Wanda is wrong. And even if she is right, I don't want to risk losing him.
Being friends with him is better than not even having him in my life.
After a few minutes of my pity party, I heard his door squeak open. I turned my head to see May with widened eyes.
"It's not what it looks—"
"The nightmares are back aren't they?" She whispered and I nodded.
"But he has been sleeping peacefully since I got him home from school." I said softly. "Does he know that you know?"
"I asked about it a couple of times before I knew about his... activities. I would come home and hear him screaming and thrashing around in his bed. He would say it was just a bad dream, but they kept happening over and over again. Sometimes he would wake up screaming Ben's name, so I thought it had to do with him seeing Ben..." She took in a deep breath.
I knew what she was going to say. I remember Peter telling me as Spider-Man that he was the reason Peter's uncle was dead. He blamed himself. I never really got the full story, but that was enough.
"You seem to calm him." She said after a few moments of silence. "That's something even I couldn't do."
I stayed silent, not really knowing how to respond to that. I looked down at Peter and smiled. He was still clinging on to me.
"I know that look." She whispered to me and smiled, "it's the same look he makes when I bring you up." I tilted my head in confusion.
Was everyone in on this?
"Um..." I chuckled nervously. "W-what do you mean?"
"I'm just gonna tell you, he isn't going to make the first move." She smirked and stood up out of Peter's chair. "I'm gonna order some pizza."
She left me alone in my thoughts as I just stared at Peter's arm that was wrapped around me.
After a few minutes, Peter stirred awake.
"Hey, sleeping beauty." I whispered and his eyes popped open and he immediately unwrapped himself from me. He jumped out of the bed and turned to look at me. He rubbed one of his eyes and yawned. Cute.
"How uh, how long have I been asleep?" He asked as he looked out his blinds into the dark night sky.
"About 5-6 hours." I said.
"And you just uh, stayed?" He asked, seemingly confused, which in turn made me confused.
"What? Did you think I was gonna leave you as soon as you fell asleep?" I smiled and he picked up his phone.
"Did you sleep at all?" He asked me.
"No I just watched you sleep for the past 5 hours." I joked. I only spent a good 45 minutes watching him sleep. Totally worth it.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sleep for so long." He apologized and I just looked at him completely confused.
"Are you seriously apologizing for getting the sleep you need?" I asked. He shrugged.
"I bet you had better things to do on your day off." He said and before I could argue with him, he left the room to go to the bathroom.
He said that with no emotion at all, as if he believed it. It made me wonder: was the reason he was so selfless because he didn't really think that much of himself?
He was so focused on everyone else's problems. When did he have the time to deal with his own? Never. That was probably why he has so many problems in the first place.
My thoughts were interrupted by a semi loud voice that could have only been Peter's.
"I can smell the pizza from behind that door. Is someone gonna get it?" I could hear his aunt laughing as she opened the door. I left his room and saw Peter running out of the bathroom and following his aunt to the dining room table. I smiled as he opened up the box and pulled out a piece. His aunt scolded him for not bothering to get a plate first and he ran into the kitchen and got 3 plates.
"Dig in, Harley. It is much better than anything May cooks." He smiled and May hit his arm. "Ow."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to intrude—"
"Harley." May raised an eyebrow at me. I sat down and pulled out a cheesy piece of pizza. Peter was already on his third.
By the time we were done, Peter ate 6 pieces and I only ate one so I wouldn't take anymore from Peter. He really needed to eat anyways.
"I'm going for a swing." He said once he was done and he ran into his bedroom. May tried to argue, but within her third sentence in, he backflipped out of his room and into the main room. He had his London suit on and started to just make what I'm guessing to him was casual conversation. "May, did the blood come out of my other suit?"
"Yes it's in the dryer."
"May!"
"What?"
"It has to be air dried!" He ran into what I was assuming was the laundry room. He came out with a damp suit. "The suit has waterproof tech in it but it can't just be flung around in 150 degree heat!" I smirked as he continued on his rant on about how the suit costs millions of dollars and how Tony would kill him.
"Are you still going for a swing? Cause I would love to go." I smiled smugly and he looked at me with his mouth wide open.
"Are you serious?" May and Peter said at the same time.
"Sure, why not?"
"Because it is scary as hell. It took me forever to get the hang of it." Peter walked past me and hung his suit on the shower curtain in his bathroom. "But if you want to..."
"You guys are crazy." May said, "I'm going to bed. Peter, don't drop him." She finished cleaning up and then went to her room.
We made it back to Peter's room and he opened up his window. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I smiled and he started walk up the wall onto the roof. I scoffed, "Show off."
I made my way up the fire escape and on the last step, I lost my balance. Peter caught me and pulled me up onto the roof. I placed one of my arms around his waist and one I wrapped around his shoulder.
"You have to hold on real tight, okay?" He told me and I nodded. I could feel my heart racing as he shot out a web and we leaped off the building.
I screamed and then started to laugh uncontrollably. I buried my face in the crook of Peter's neck and within about 45 seconds, although it felt like forever, we landed on another roof.
We both started laughing uncontrollably and we fell onto the roof.
"God, that was fun." I said once I regained control of my body. He just kept laughing. He took off his mask and smiled at me.
"I, uh, I wanna thank you for today. It's just I..." He started.
"It's okay." After I said that, he looked down and started fidgeting with his hands.
"There is no place I'd rather be right now than helping you. You help so many people and here you are suffering and I see you trying to build those walls up again but Peter, you don't have to." I tried to reassure him, but he looked even more confused.
"Why did you almost kiss me?" He asked, his voice cracking. Oh here we go...
"Why do you think I did?" I swallowed hard. His head snapped up at me and his eyes were watering.
"Y-you didn't deny it." When he said that, my heart shattered.
"Why would I deny it, Peter? Do you think I'm messing with you?"
"I— I don't know." He said. He stood up and turned away from me.
"Peter..." I stood up and got behind him. "I didn't want to lose you, so I did nothing. But now Im not sure if I'm the only one who feels this way. I mean, I'm not the only one that feels this way, right?"
He slowly turned around and looked up at me. He smiled weakly. "No." He whispered so softly that I almost didn't catch it. But I did.
I immediately wrapped my arm around his waist to pull him closer to me and I ran my other hand through his hair when my lips finally met his.
At first he just stood there, not moving, and so I pulled away. But he then yanked my shirt back and he locked our lips again.
I never really understood it when people would say that when they kissed the person they loved it felt magical or it felt like nothing else in that moment mattered. Until now. I understood it completely.
Yeah, I had kissed a few people in my life before, but never like this. I made me me feel so alive. It made me feel... important and loved and adored.
He placed a hand softly on my neck and smiled into the kiss. We broke apart for air, and I let my forehead rest against his. He let out a cute little giggle.
"I was not expecting that." He said quietly.
"Well, I'm glad it happened." I chuckled. He slowly untangled himself from me as we both heard a siren a couple blocks away. He pulled on his mask.
"Karen?" He said inside the mask. It was crazy how easily he could turn from all gushy and romantic to serious in a matter of seconds. "Have there been any casualties?" He asked as he walked closer to the edge of the roof. "Okay, thanks." He looked over at me and I could tell even with the mask on that he was disappointed.
"It's okay." I told him and he immediately ran towards me, swept me off my feet, (figuratively and literally) and within about half a minute, I was right next to my car outside his apartment.
"We'll talk later?" He asked and I just absentmindedly nodded as he swooped away.
As soon as he was out of sight, I threw a fist up in the air and jumped in excitement.
He liked me.