A/N:
Thanks for 23k reads loves!!!
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"I love you." Derrek's words knocked the air right out of me and I had to take in a deep breath to convince myself that the world hadn't completely run out of air. He stared into my eyes with such intensity that drew me in further and further by the second.
I had imagined Derrek saying those three little words to me in some grand, romantic gesture but this was much better than I could have ever imagined. It was a simple confession with no grand gesture whatsoever but I had felt like he had bought the moon and gifted it to me.
All of those sweet emotions were soon replaced with fear and uncertainty as I was reminded of my last experience with those very three words. I had forgotten all about it until now.
"You can take your time, Tiara. You don't have to say it back if you don't feel it yet." Derrek gave me a warm smile as he pulled back away from me. I could see the disappointment in his eyes and I felt bad. I did love him and I wanted him to know that but I couldn't help but feel scared.
There was only one guy I had ever said those words to and it seemed like things went downhill for us after I had uttered those words. I didn't want to ruin what I had with Derrek and I knew that I shouldn't have been comparing my relationship with him to my other failed relationships but I was scared.
"I, um, there's a couple of things I have to take care of, so, I'll just get going." Derrek said after a few moments of silence and I glanced up at him to see his sad eyes glancing back at me.
I nodded as I looked down at the floor. I wanted to say something but I couldn't seem to find the right words. What was wrong with me? This was everything I wanted, so, why was I ruining it? Why couldn't I just tell him that I loved him too?
I noticed Derrek's feet approaching me and I looked up just as he stopped right in front of me. He cupped my cheeks with his palms and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead.
In that moment, I felt all my fears and worries wash away completely. My mind grew quiet and all I could focus on was the feel on his soft, warm lips on my skin. There was something about Derrek that just seemed to make everything better. He made me feel safe and secure and loved. No one else had ever made me feel this way. I knew that now and I needed to let him know that.
With a small smile, Derrek pulled away and turned around to leave.
"Derrek!" I called as he took his first step away from me. He halted his movement and before he could turn around, I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his back.
My heart was racing in my chest as I parted my lips to speak. I was going to tell him exactly how I felt about him and I wasn't going to worry about my words sending off a chain reaction like it had in my past relationship. Derrek was different. He loved me. I believed that and I wasn't going to live in fear of something that could have never happened.
"I love you, Derrek Dune." I declared with a smile forming on my face afterwards.
Derrek gently loosened my arms from around him and turned around to face me. There was a smile on his face as he glanced at me and I looked away, suddenly feeling shy.
"Can you say that again?" He asked as he wrapped his hands around my waist.
"Ah an! I didn't ask you to say it again, so, why should I?" I blushed, looking everywhere but at Derrek.
"Do you want to hear me say it again?" He asked and I covered my face with my hands, feeling very shy. "I love you, Tiara Digiola. I love you." The sincerity in his voice made me glance up at him. "I will always love you."
My eyes fluttered closed as he rested his forehead on mine. He brushed his thumb over my cheek in a repeated motion for a few moments then he cupped my cheek and guided my face closer to his. Our lips met a moment later and I felt fireworks light up inside me.
*
"Why does this look weird to me?" Tosin said, pulling my attention away from Derrek.
I glanced at my friend who was seated across the table in front of me. She had her eyes narrowed at me as she leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table.
Derrek and I were on a double date with Tosin and Alex at some fancy restaurant Alex's friend owned. The decor was quite regal with the baroque style interior design and soft orchestra music playing in the background. It felt unreal, almost, like I had been catapulted back into 17th century France.
"Why does what look weird?" I asked, temporarily getting distracted as Derrek took my right hand in his, intertwining our fingers under the table. I held back a smile as I focused on Tosin once again. He had become obsessed with holding my hands lately, not like I was complaining anyway.
"To think of it, you two are horrible actors." Tosin said instead and I glanced at Derrek for a moment. He had on the same confused look I did. "How did I never realize that you two were in a fake relationship back then? Look at you now. You can't seem to take your eyes off each other."
I snuck a glance at Derrek as she said so, smiling shyly. My boyfriend chuckled and placed a kiss to my forehead. I still couldn't believe Derrek was my boyfriend now. It sounded weird but it felt just right and peaceful.
"Why would I ever want to take my eyes off her? She's perfect." Derrek said, winking at me and I heard Tosin scoff.
"Can we keep the PDA on the down low?" Tosin said in a whiny voice and Alex nudged her arm with his elbow. "What? I've never seen Tiara like this with anyone. It's weird."
"I've never seen Derrek like this with anyone either but do you see me saying they look weird?" Alex scowled at his girlfriend and she rolled her eyes.
"I didn't mean they look weird. I meant—you know what? Let's just forget I said anything. You two can carry on with your staring contest." Tosin waved her hand dismissively and Alex face-palmed but I caught the slight smile playing on his lips.
"Well, I'd like to make a toast." Alex said a moment after, lifting up his glass of wine. We all followed suit. "To Derrek, for finally finding a girl who isn't a psychopath."
"God finally delivered you. You should thank me for breaking the toxic cycle, Derrek." I teased as I clinked glasses with Tosin and then, Alex.
"It is indeed a miracle." Derrek said as we clinked glasses. "You're my miracle, Tiara. I should call you miracle from now on."
"And I'll call you cutie pie from on." I bit back. "Maybe, snookums or fuzzy bear." I suggested and Derrek gave an embarrassed laugh, signaling to me with his eyes to stop talking.
"Do you need more wine? You should have more wine!" Derrek cut me off as I was about to speak and I laughed at how panicked he looked.
"Thanks, jelly bean." I teased some more as Derrek poured some more wine into my glass.
"Tiara." He pleaded and I put my hands up in surrender, giving up.
Silence followed as the main course was served by the waiters and I happily dug into the delicious looking fried rice and well sauced, spicy chicken by the side.
"I heard there's a wedding this weekend." Derrek spoke up as soon as he was done with his food. I had only just finished up my rice. Tosin had ordered the same as me and was already halfway done with her chicken while Alex who opted for the coconut rice and fish was just about done.
"Oh, yeah." I said in remembrance. "You guys are coming, right?" I asked, glancing up at the couple seated across from me.
Tosin gave a heavy sigh and put a fork full of chicken in her mouth, avoiding the question. I glanced at Alex who gave a sigh, noticing Tosin's sudden mood change.
"I won't be attending, sadly." Alex said with a smile that looked forced.
"Why? You busy Saturday?" Derrek asked as he lifted his glass to take a sip of wine.
"Uh, yeah." Alex simply said, glancing at Tosin from his side eye. I couldn't help but notice the sudden tension between them.
"Tosin, are you going?" I averted my eyes to my friend and she shook her head.
"I'd probably die out of jealousy if I do." Tosin mumbled and Alex dropped his cutlery instantly, causing a loud sound to echo as the stainless steel hit the ceramic plate.
"Let's not do this here, please." Alex said to Tosin in a calm yet frustrated tone and I shifted uncomfortably. There was definitely something going on here.
"Derrek, did you know that Alex never wants to get married?" Tosin turned to Derrek who started to cough, beating his chest as he did so. He picked up his glass of water and chugged it down.
This wasn't going to end well.
"You knew?" She raised her voice, drawing attention from the table next to us.
"Tosin, please." Alex glanced at her but she didn't spare him a single glance. She was starting to look annoyed.
"After all this time we've been together, you're now telling me that you don't plan on getting married." She made a conscious effort to keep her voice down this time but I could still hear the annoyance in her voice.
"I never said I'd never get married. I'm just not planning to for the next couple of years." Alex replied her and I felt even more uncomfortable. It felt like I was intruding on a private conversation.
I glanced at Derrek and he looked equally as uncomfortable. He gave a sigh and took another sip from his wine.
"And I'm supposed to be okay with that? I'm not getting any younger, Alex. If you're not going to marry me, let's just end this."
"Can we please talk about this some other time?" Alex pleaded and Tosin gave a sigh of defeat before taking another fork full of chicken.
*
The first few minutes of the ride home was quiet. I couldn't stop thinking about the argument Tosin and Alex had. I couldn't believe he didn't want to get married. Tosin had been praying he'd propose soon. She must have been crushed.
"What's wrong?" Derrek asked and I gave a sigh, subtly shaking my head.
"I can't believe Alex doesn't want to get married." I said. "Why did he date her all this time if he wasn't going to marry her?"
"It's not as black and white as you're calling it, Tiara."
"Why not?"
"Alex loves Tosin. He wouldn't have been with her this long if he didn't."
"He loves her but won't marry her. Does that make sense? If you love someone wouldn't you want to spend the rest of your life with them?" I turned to Derrek and he gave a sigh.
"Alex is in the height of his career right now. He—"
"That's it? He's choosing his career over her?"
"With the nature of his job, Alex is always on the move. If he marries Tosin, she would either have to move to the UK to be closer to him or get used to never having him home. What happens when they have kids? They'd barely see their dad. Is that something Tosin wants?"
I thought about it for a moment and gave a sigh. Tosin couldn't move out of the country with Alex when he asked her. She was very keen on staying here in Nigeria.
"If Tosin is okay with all of that, then, I promise you that Alex would marry her in a heartbeat." Derrek said after I didn't reply.
"That sucks." I leaned further back into my seat and crossed my arms. "What's going to happen to us when you decide to return to the UK?"
"What?" Derrek glanced at me for a moment before he turned back to the road.
"You've lived there your entire life. Don't you plan on going back?" I glanced at him, noticing as he gave a small sigh.
"If you asked me this question a few months ago, I would have said yes in a heartbeat." He answered a few moments later.
"And now?" I asked, swallowing as I anxiously awaited his answer.
Derrek and I had just started a relationship after months of lies, fights and many challenges but it would have all been for nothing if he was eventually going to leave me. I wasn't interested in being in a long distance relationship and well, if he asked me to move with him back to the UK—
"Things have changed now." He said, interrupting my trail of thoughts. "I can't think of myself alone anymore, not when I have you in my life." He took my hand in his and placed a kiss to the back of my palm before setting them down in the space between our seats.
I wanted to ask him to elaborate some more but I thought against it. It was surely a conversation to have but right now, I just wanted to enjoy the drive with my boyfriend.
"Don't worry about Alex and Tosin. They'll figure it out eventually." Derrek assured me as he parked his car right beside my house and he glanced at me with those breathtakingly gorgeous eyes.
"I hope so." I sighed and Derrek lifted our hands, placing several soothing kisses to the back of my palm. I soon forgot what we were talking about and focused solely on the unbelievably handsome man staring back at me.
In that moment, I wanted nothing else. Life felt wonderful with Derrek by my side and I couldn't imagine how I'd lived so long without him.
"Why are you smiling at me like that?" Derrek called my attention, a smile playing on his lips and with my smile growing wider, I leaned over to him and placed a kiss to his cheek.
"You are perfect, Derrek Dune, in every sense of the word." I said, caressing his cheek with my free hand and he stared at me with his lips slightly parted. Suddenly feeling embarrassed at Derrek's silence, I pulled open the door, ready to bolt. I couldn't believe I had said something so cheesy.
Derrek caught my hand just as I put a foot out of the car and I turned back to face him, retrieving my foot.
"I can't believe it took me this long to realize just how lucky I am to have found you—," He said interlacing our fingers together.
My eyes slowly moved from our hands to his eyes. I almost gasped as I saw the intensity in them. It made my heart skip a beat.
"—just how lucky I am to have you here by my side. I've never felt so at ease as I am when I'm with you. I've never felt such peace and joy as I feel when I'm with you." He cupped my cheek with his other hand and I felt an electric buzz as his palm touched my skin.
I dared not to look away from his eyes. How could I when I saw so much love swimming in them. No one had ever looked at me with so much love, so much care, so much intensity.
"You are the most beautiful person with the most beautiful soul and I just want to hold you in my arms and never let you go." Derrek slowly leaned in closer to me as he spoke and I felt tears sting at my eyes as I heard his words.
Why was I getting so emotional?
Derrek closed the space between us and touched my lips with his in a soft, lingering kiss that spoke a thousand words. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me and he did the same, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I was so lost in the moment that I hadn't heard the sound of an engine roaring to life ahead of us. It was only when a blinding light shone on us that Derrek and I became aware of the humming sound getting louder by the second. We pulled away from each other but it was already too late.
The next thing I realized was Derrek shielding me with his body before I heard a loud crash and felt a sudden shock passing through my entire body.
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Happy new month lovelies
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