"𝙸𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝. 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎."
~~~
𝐙𝐚𝐜𝐡'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕
During games I enforce a common tactic used by players which is essentially silencing all sound.
Mouths are moving in sync, game officials are shouting across the field to one another, positioning their arms in motions only real fans care to understand and players of each team are encouraging each other with harsh helmet knocks and slaps on the ass.
The crowd's cheers are ear splitting just like I remember it to be. Stands are overcrowded with orange and white on my left and red and yellow on my right as fans from both schools produce noises that could be heard from dorms on the other side of campus.
I continue to zone out, maybe because for the last sixty seconds my eyes have never found its way away from Syracuse's student section.
"Haven't seen you play this bad since last year Stone. All the tackles finally getting to your head." Denver's, USC notorious wide receiver shows off his pearly whites with a grin, pulling my eyes away from my search.
I ignore his attempts to rattle me up as Coach insists on calling me over.
"No offers yet, Denver's?" I begin walking away as his expression falters. The look on his face telling me all I needed to know.
After Denver's record breaking season last year, everyone expected him to be called up to the NFL sooner than later. It was evident he had the skill set, season stats and fan base to secure an offer. However, sportsmanship seemed to be lacking in all that glory he saw himself as. Even Ezra was surprised when his name was put out on likely letters before James Denver.
As I walk in long strides to the sidelines my eyes never leave the stands for obvious reasons. After last night's apology, counseling resumed as normal.
Maria spoke to the group about taking accountability, no surprise that lesson was scheduled for today of all days. Sage kept quiet the whole time as I frequently made eye contact with her.
She knew there was a game today. She reminded me of it last night when I accidentally squeezed her hand too tight after hearing the way she was being talked about on campus. The look on her face after I hurt her not only ripped my heart into shreds, it was eye opening. Maybe my anger had subsided but it was truly never gone. I wanted nothing more than to redo this whole week and make better choices. Choices that would prevent my current situation and fix whatever I had ruined.
"Yes, Coach." I take my helmet off and swallow harshly, looking away from the crowd of people once again.
It was evident in the way his jaw clenched that he wasn't happy. He was either going to pull me out of this game or I had one final chance before I embarrassed myself even more on this field.
"I'm going to say this once and only once." Coach's gruff voice pulled me out of my daydream. He's standing in front me with a determined look on his face I only wish I could replicate in this moment. The scoreboard read 0-24. I couldn't catch a single throw all night and it's my fault.
I was distracted.
"The game isn't over, Stone. You may think it's over but it's not. I've seen turnarounds happen in much worse circumstances. That lead you see on that score board can change. It only takes one simple action."
"What?" I eye him warily.
"Stop looking for whoever isn't here." He points to the bleachers. "I can see you're distressed because whoever you wanted to show up hasn't. It's a hard lesson to learn but you can't let that determine how well you play. It reflects poorly on you despite whatever is going on in your personal life." He tells me seriously.
Even though I don't want to admit it, I know he's right. I was done looking for the extra jersey I had sent over last night.
It was time to turn this game around.
__
"I can get you something much stronger if you would like." The smiling bartender drops another glass in front of me as I empty the one I'm already holding.
I swallow the remaining contents before slamming the cup down, harder than intended.
"I'm good, thanks."
I glance over my shoulder to find Dwight shaking his ass on the table with no shirt on as the rest of the team laughs and records. Ezra is trying his best to get him down and AJ is surrounded by a slew of women who are clinging on to him for dear life. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves and here I am miserable as fuck.
Brunette bartender shoots me another flirtatious glance and goes on towards the next customer sitting a couple seats down, right before I notice the tiny piece of paper lying underneath the glass she slid over.
In small handwriting, I read a phone number followed by two simple words. Call me.
"I can only hope you're going to throw that away." A voice interrupts my rooted thoughts.
"Didn't peg you for the stalker type Tris." I immediately responded, recognizing the demanding voice. Not a second later, I flick the piece of paper off of the countertop where it falls onto the floor.
Turning around, I find Tristen settling into the barstool beside me with a deep V cut crop top with chains connecting the sides that revealed a fresh tattoo and a pair of leather pants that hugged her figure generously. On her feet were a pair of Nike sneakers that perfectly matched the colors of her top.
"Didn't peg you as the loner at the bar type either but here we are." Tristen shrugs with a smirk.
"We just won a close game and the guys begged me to come."
"Well you look miserable in a room full of very happy people and it's making you stand out. I suggest you put a smile on or tell me what's up."
"I'd rather leave." I reply, circling the liquid in my refreshed glass.
"And try getting past your very drunk and rowdy team by the front door." She gestured to my teammates, who are currently having the time of their lives off from the high of their win. "Nice try."
I let out a long exasperated sigh. "I fucked up."
"What's new with you men? Hold on, I think I'm going to need a drink for this." Tristen calls over for the male bartender who takes about two seconds to walk over and in moments lets his eyes wander Tris's outfit in appreciation.
"First time here?" He smiles, appearing to look confident but the way he handles himself I can tell he was nervous by just the sight of Tristen looking studying him.
"I'm a regular babe." She smiles showing off her smiley piercing. "New hire?"
His face falls in embarrassment.
"One shot of tequila please." Her attention turns back to me and I almost burst out laughing at the sight of the dumbfounded look on that guy's face as he walks away to get her drink.
"You're ruthless." I shake my head, amused.
"He couldn't keep his eyes above my shoulders for more than three seconds." She rolls her eyes irritated then proceeds to glance around the bar and wink towards a girl already staring at her. "I mean at least have the decency to compliment me if you're gonna check me out. Now tell me what's up with you and..."
"Sage." I answer for her.
My heart does a flip once her name leaves my lips and I know Tristen can sense my shift in emotions.
"Is that her on your lock screen?" She questions as my phone lights up with multiple notifications from Kelsey, my father and countless others. The picture is a selfie of us but I cropped myself out in order to put more emphasis on her and everything I couldn't seem to get enough.
"Yeah, it is"
"Wait, let me see that again." Tristen asks, pulling my phone closer to her face. Her expression shows one of utter shock and confusion as she looks away giving me back the phone.
"What?" I blatantly question.
"Nothing." She gulps down the entire glass sitting in front of her.
"What is it Tristen?"
"It's just." She pauses, swiping the edge of her mouth with the pad of her thumb. Guys around us continued to stare as they walked past and I found myself rolling my eyes at how obvious they were. "She's gorgeous. I can't believe she's with you."
I blow out a sigh of relief. "Very funny."
I can't believe it sometimes either.
"What did you do?" Tristen cocks a brow, waiting for an answer I can't even give her. "You have that look on your face that every guy has when they know they fucked up. It's literally so predictable."
Fuck, I didn't say that in my head.
"I let my anger get the best of me and now we're just in a very awkward space. I don't know how to fix it. Fix us."
"When's the last time you two spoke?"
"Yesterday, right before she told me she could walk home on her own." I mutter, embarrassed.
"And you let her?" Tristen shrieks in disapproval.
"Was I not supposed to?"
"Of course not dipshit. You were supposed to take her home like the gentleman your mother raised you to be and then apologize over and over again until she forgave you dumbass."
"No soy bueno en esto."
[I'm not good at this]
"Bueno, es mejor que seas bueno en eso antes de arruinar algo que apenas ha comenzado."
[Well you better get good at it before you ruin something that has barely started]
"Sí lo sé." I sigh. "Who's at the shop if you're not there?" I ask, remembering Tristen stayed at the shop 24/7 to make sure things were running properly.
[Yeah, I know]
"I hired an assistant two weeks ago." She answered right away. Immediately I catch her jaw tense and her cheeks...flush.
Odd.
"They any good?" I ask, wanting a little more information.
Tristen was always insistent on running her business with little to no help. She handled the bills, ink equipment, art designs, upkeep of the place, her employees rates and was the first to open and the last to leave for the day. At some point she began sleeping in the back after being too tired to drive home at the end of every day. So for her to finally hire someone to lighten her workload was a huge if not courageous step.
"She's great." Tristen took a long sip of her drink before continuing. "Organized, quick learner, smart. The whole goody two shoes package if you ask me."
"What's your problem then?"
"Pssht. I have no problem." Tristen protest waving me off.
This time I cock my brow, recognizing the dilemma she's currently in but won't admit to herself.
"I think I want to meet the girl that has you all riled up." I joke and Tristen's face morphs into one of clear shock.
"She does not."
"I think she does." My smirk turns into a genuine smile.
A new bartender comes over and drops two beer bottles in front of us.
"I'm good." I say, but they leave anyway to attend to new customers who are urgently calling them over.
"Those are for me." Tristen replies, twisting the cap off with her teeth and taking a long swig.
___
I made it back to my room unscathed after making sure all the guys were back home despite their irritating protest to stay at the bar past 11pm.
Being the responsible teammate I am, I reminded everyone of a made up mandatory practice tomorrow which I know I will get heat for in the morning.
Turning the hallway, the first thing I find is a pair of sneakers at the point of my doormat. Across from the wall Sage is seated on the ground with her eyes shut closed. Her chest rises up and down slowly indicating she was sleeping.
I take a few short strides into her direction, crouch down and remove the fallen curls covering her eyes. Her face was makeup free and freckles of all sizes were scattered across her nose and cheeks.
"Sage." I nudged her shoulder twice after realizing I was staring like a creep.
She turned her head to the other side and shut her eyes even tighter as her chest rose with each breath.
"Sage." I repeated a lot louder.
"Huh?" Her eyes widen in surprise as she looks around. She yawns before speaking. "I wasn't sleeping. I was just resting my eyes."
"On the hallway floor." I deadpan.
"Don't be an idiot." She rolls her eyes and I crack a small smile. "I thought you'd be home right after the game. So I waited and I guess all the sleep I missed these last couple of days caught up with me."
A yawn escapes her lips soon after agreeing with her words.
She begins to gather herself off the floor when I grab her hand pulling her back up. I pull a little too hard causing our chests to collide and I tilt my chin down where our gazes connect. The action is enough to make my heart flip inside my chest.
Butterflies swarm in my stomach like I've just met her. I don't why I still tend to get nervous in her presence. Maybe it's because for the first time I don't want her to see all the bad I see in myself.
"Yeah the guys forced me to tag along at the bar to celebrate. Clearly I was just there to be the designated driver home." I say while we're still holding each other.
Time seemed to still as we stood in each other's presence for the first time in twenty four hours. Her face didn't reveal much but having her wait outside my door washed a sense of relief over me.
"Zach?" The sound of footsteps coming towards us force us to pull apart. "You know the drill man, no girls in the room after 11:30pm." Denzel, our floor RA, spoke, looking between us with tired eyes. Red in fact.
"Look the other way and maybe I'll consider not telling the Dean you sell your extra stash to naive freshmens."
He looks bewildered and lost for words but just nods and heads back to his side of the building. He can barely keep his head up.
Yeah he was definitely high.
I unlock the door and Sage pushes past me, dropping her things on my two seater sofa and sprawling out over the grey cushions. She looks comfortable in my space. I liked it.
"How'd you know that?"
"Know what?"
"Zachariah." She stares down at me which tries to look serious but is really just adorable to look at.
"I might have bought a few grams." I admit, not so proudly. Yes, I was once one of those naive freshmens stressed and overwhelmed by my new environment looking for relief.
"I can't imagine you being high and why is it so hot in here." She begins to unzip her oversized hoodie and the fabric underneath causes confusion to sweep my face.
"You were at the game?"
She froze, realizing what she had done. I pace around the room wondering why she wouldn't want me to know. The whole reason why I played terribly today is because I thought she hadn't shown up.
"Zachariah." Her tone is cautious and I hate that it is because she thinks I might blow up with anger.
"Did you not want to be there?" I rasp. All my focus was now on her.
"Of course I wanted to be there." She exclaimed.
Sage immediately got up to stop my rushed steps, grabbing the sides of my face so I looked down at her. She looks up at me with a tender expression that I make sure to reciprocate.
"But last night you left and..." I trail off remembering the way I frantically looked for her in the lobby, bathroom and parking lot until I gave up. I ended up too tired to even drive myself back home and ordered a taxi instead.
"I went out back to thank Maria in her office for whatever she said to you. I know apologizing in front of the group wasn't easy. I wasn't mad at you Zachariah. I know you were only defending me." Both her eyes and tone soften.
"They had no right to say that about you. They don't even know you." I reasoned.
"They don't have to. I'm used to it." She mutters with a shrug. I watch her attempt to mask the hurt but it's evident in the way her shoulder hangs lower everytime I see her. The hate continues to take its toll.
"Don't you see." I sigh, running a frustrated hand down my face. "You shouldn't have to be used to this. Sage everytime I see you there's this fake smile on your face and I know you can't help it but it kills me to know I can't do anything to fix it."
"Zach-"
"I know what you're going to say." I plop down on my sofa and hang my head back. The tension in my body released with a long stretch and a couple deep breaths. Maria taught me to pause and breathe everytime I felt like I was getting worked up. Not a minute later Sage sits close enough to me that her head rests perfectly on my shoulder.
"You can read minds now?" She half smiled up at me, which for a moment gets rid of all my worries. The sight of her eyes hazy with sleep, hair freely let down and her body submerged in my jersey did unthinkable things to me.
"I'm serious Sage." I didn't realize my tone had changed until I notice her facial expression change.
"I know." She quietly answers back as if we aren't alone. I feel her gaze on the side of my head so I turn around curious about the rest of her answer.
"That's it. I know." I blurted.
"What do you want me to say?" She nibbled on her bottom lip.
"I want you to work on yourself just like I am trying to be better for you. I know it's going to come with time and when all the legal drama is over with but it's never too early to start. Just know I'll be supporting you every single step of the way because I want you to be happy. I want you to love yourself like I...like I-"
Stopping myself before I revealed too much, I looked away, surprising myself and her. Somehow Sage found my hand and intertwined our fingers together.
We did this frequently whenever each of us didn't know how to respond. It was like some sort of secret communication between us to let each other know we understood what the other was trying to say.
A part of me. No. Every part of me hoped Sage got the message I was trying to relay because I've missed all the signs once and I don't think my heart has half of the capacity to go through it again.
I can't go through that again.
End of Chapter
Any guesses on what Zach can't go through again?
OMG WE HIT 100k. A milestone I've been raving about forever. Thank you guys so much for your continued support. It truly means the world. Burning for Sage will be wrapping up just in time for summer to start. I'm so excited because the ending has already been planned out since the beginning <33