All too much happened in such little time.
One minute, you're internally rejoicing at the fact everyone made it on the ship safely, just to turn around and learn that despite your collective efforts, Liberio wouldn't be among the land spared from the Rumbling. Now you're sulking in a hallway on the ship with Reiner, ultimately confused on how to feel and what to do next.
With a posture slumped from near-exhaustion, you watched Annie with sad eyes from the doorway of the ship's cockpit. She struggled to move past Jean and Mikasa's strong frames, eyes wild with anger or maybe fear as she hung onto Hange's every word.
"I'm sorry Annie, but we can't go to Liberio." Hange repeated gently but firm. "We've decided with Magath that we'd go to Odiha instead. And it's not like we had much choice to anyways. There's no way for us to save Liberio."
Reality was finally setting in. The air was thick with silent panic.
Would there be any family left for you to go back to?
You took a look over your shoulder to see how Gabi was taking the news. She was uncharacteristically quiet as she sat beside Pieck on the floor, eyes wide and unfocused in a daze as she listened to Hange and Annie's debate. You and Reiner both exchanged a look of concern at the blank face she held. You couldn't imagine how she was feeling.
The soft thud of something hitting the floor beckoned you to turn around again, immediately spotting Annie on all fours. Her body gently shuddered with her sniffles. It was only then that you realized Annie was crying. This was probably the first time you've ever seen it happen.
"If we can't save Liberio.. then I don't have a reason to keep fighting." Annie weeped, "..I'm getting off the ship."
You couldn't help the spike of anxiety you felt at hearing her say that.
A scuff of shoes on wooden flooring made you look over your shoulder again. Connie was helping a limping Armin walk down the hall towards the rest of you. You instantly caught his eye; and him, yours. You both quietly studied the other, looking over your shared injuries. He had a nasty bruise covering the side of his swollen face, continuously releasing small clouds of steam in his efforts to heal. His white button-up was stained in spots of crimson and had small tears in the shape of round holes only in the chest area.
If you didn't know any better.. the holes almost looked like bullet entries..
You decided that would be a conversation for later.
"Even if the Rumbling were to stop at this very moment, we still wouldn't be able to stop Liberio from being annihilated. Even Magath understood that, but he still went and put his life on the line to help us. He didn't do it for the sake of Marley or Liberio, he did it so we could save innocent people from being killed." Hange was trying desperately to make Annie understand that despite the odds not being in Marley's favor, there were still people that could be saved. It was never just about Liberio. It was about the world. You figured Hange wanted Annie to put her personal feelings aside for the better good.
"Then let me ask you again," Annie lifted her head to look up at Hange and Mikasa properly, "Could you kill Eren? If I tried to kill him, would you sit back and watch? Or would you protect him?"
She was quickly greeted with silence.
And just like that, Annie revealed that Hange and the others also had things holding them back. Their personal feelings for Eren would soon get in the way of saving the world and stopping the Rumbling. Everyone was in the same predicament.
"I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want us to try and kill each other again. Not with any of you. Even Eren.. So I'm done." Annie exhaled in defeat. She sounded so tired, like she had given up not only on the rest of you, but herself as well.
You watched her pull herself up from the floor and quietly sulk to the door where you and Reiner still stood. You both stepped aside to let Annie through. You were going to go after her, but with a shake of Pieck's head, you figured it was best to let her get some air on her own.
The group was split up soon afterwards. Everyone went to their respective cabins, whether it was to rest, cry, or to simply lay in their beds. You were doing the last option. You stared at the ceiling for who knows how long until you decided to get up. It didn't feel right to lay there in peaceful silence while there's people out there who didn't have the same luxury. There was a million people being trampled to death at this very second.
You went over to the small sink and mirror built into your room, and twisted the knobs. You put your hands under the water running from the faucet, and let the cold stream drench your hands, making sure to scrub and get under your nails. You let a small pool gather in your cupped palms before you splashed it's contents on your face. Again and again, until you no longer saw red on the sink's shiny white surface.
How many times were you going to have to wash off another's blood?
You stared at yourself in the mirror, and found that you could barely recognize the person who looked back at you. You weren't that bright-eyed, optimistic little girl you used to know. You were a woman. This woman had sad eyes, hardly a shine in them like there used to be. This woman looked like she had experienced so much heartache in her life, that pain became her. This woman was drained.
You were spent. Exhausted. You couldn't blame Annie for not wanting to fight anymore. You've been doing it your whole lives. There was never a moment in your life that you weren't fighting. You wanted to give in too, sit back for once and watch everything take its course. But you knew deep down that your conscious would never let you live with your actions. The ghost of your loved ones would never let you quit. Bertholdt, Colt, Porco, and even Magath would never forgive you.
So with a deep sigh, you pulled your boots back on.
You stepped out to a quiet hallway and climbed the stairs to the deck. You were instantly greeted with salty air and blue skies as you went to lean against the ship railing. You were letting the salty breeze caress your face, watching metal glide through endless waves, when you heard the faint noise of people talking.
That kinda sounds like Annie..
You perked up.
..And Armin?
You looked behind you only to see the door you just came out of and fixtures sitting on the ship that blocked your view. You quietly stepped over to a corner, keeping yourself hidden but peeking your head out just enough to get a good look.
Armin and Annie were indeed outside. For how long, you didn't know. All you knew was that Armin's face had healed a little more now, and that Annie seemed to be in a totally different mood than the one she was in earlier. They sat on the deck side-by-side, backs leaning against the railing, deep into a conversation.
You seen Armin flash Annie a warm smile, something he does with everyone really, but what got you was that Annie actually smiled back. Since when does she do that to just anyone? Getting a smile from Annie was like finding a rare diamond buried in 10 feet worth of dirt.
You couldn't help but think these bitter thoughts.
Why does Annie look so cheery? Is Armin smiling a little bigger with her? Is Armin blushing or am I seeing things? Is what Annie said really that funny? He's laughing like she told the funniest damn joke in the world. And she's laughing too?
Annie's your friend, one of your very best friends at that. So why were you feeling a little .. bothered?
Maybe it was because you could vividly remember what Hitch called Annie when you first saw her in the crystal. Hitch called Annie the love of Armin's life. She said it so confidently, like she was sure it was true, and it's not like Armin exactly denied it. You remembered him being so flustered and red. The memories Annie shown you was enough proof to show that Armin visited Annie nearly every day.
It didn't help that Armin seemed to be the only one, besides you, that Annie actually holds a decent conversation with. She reciprocated his energy willingly. Even back when you were younger you could remember times where Annie would strike up conversations with Armin without him having to say something first, or when she spared him in the Female Titan even without you having to ask.
Oh my god. I'm gonna be sick.
"You okay?"
You jumped at finally noticing the presence of someone behind you. You spun around to see both Connie and Jean standing over you, giving you weird looks when they saw the flash of panic on your face.
"What're you doing?" Jean asked with creased brows.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" You shot back, not even realizing how aggressive you sounded.
Jean blinked at you before deciding to move past his interrogation. "Y'know what? I don't care." He reached into the random brown sack he held, "Here. We found granola bars in the pantries. Figured people would be hungry."
Hunger was the least of your worries, but you took a bar anyways. "Thanks.. You didn't have to do that."
"Nothing else for us to do." Jean mumbled with a shrug as he bit into an unwrapped granola bar.
Connie, on the other hand, was still nosy. "What were you lookin at over here?"
Despite your attempts to keep him back, Connie moved around you to steal your former spot, curious as to what you were watching. But he barely got his head out before Armin and Annie were suddenly coming around the corner. They looked visibly surprised to see you all randomly gathered there.
Armin broke out into a smile, "Oh! Hey—"
"What are you guys doing." Annie cut him off, looking at the rest of you with a suspicious look.
"Passing out granola bars." Jean answered.
"Oh." Annie plainly replied. And then she walked off without another word. You all watched her retreat down the stairs, not sparing either of you a second glance. Even you were a little dumbfounded.
"Nice to see she hasn't changed at all." Jean deadpanned.
"No kidding. What were you two even doing up here?" Connie asked, slyly trying to dip his hand back into the sack before Jean smacked it away.
"We were just catching up." Armin struggled to contain a bashful smile, like he was too shy to reveal details. And for some reason, that made you feel even more irritated.
"Catchin up, huh?" A mischievous smile grew on Connie's face as he teasingly nudged Armin.
That granola bar in your hand was practically folded in half from how hard you crumpled it in your fist.
"Well I'll see you guys later." You suddenly said, already turning to make your way down the stairs. You were just about to take the first step down when you felt someone hold you back by your arm.
"Wait," Armin waited until you looked back at him before asking, "Is something wrong?"
"No. I'm fine." You answered bluntly before trying to take your arm from his grip. Though that was easier said than done. "Can you let go of me?"
Armin looked at you for a moment before turning to Connie and Jean, all the while still hanging onto you. "I'll see you guys later."
"Later, dude." Connie nodded him off. Once he realized that neither you or Armin were moving, he raised his brows in surprise. "Oh we're the ones leaving?"
Jean rolled his eyes at Connie's obliviousness before steering him away by the shoulder, "C'mon, Constance. Give the couple their alone time."
"I'm confused. Does he like Annie or (Y/n)?" Connie whispered not-so-quietly to Jean.
"We're not together." You corrected them quickly. Though it's not like Jean or Connie heard, they were already off into another conversation as they walked further out into the deck.
But who did hear you, loud and clear, was Armin. He had an unreadable look on his face as he studied your annoyed expression.
You scoffed, "What? Did I lie?"
"What's wrong?" Armin asked again.
You rolled your eyes, "I just said I'm fine."
"You're lying."
"I'm not." You lied, "Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not okay. Not everyone can be as happy-go-lucky as you, Armin."
"I've noticed you can never look me in the eye when you lie." Armin casually noted.
You hadn't even realized you've been looking at everything but him the entire time. The sky, the ocean, Jean whacking Connie in the distance.
You made it a point to look him directly in the eye when you said, "I. Am. Fine. Now if you'd excuse me," You snatched your wrist out of his hand, "I'm going back to my room."
And with that, you climbed down the stairs. It was halfway down the hall that you realized Armin was walking behind you. At first you figured he was just going to his own room, but when you passed it up and he still continued walking, you huffed a sigh.
"Why are you following me?" You questioned, not even making the effort to turn around.
"Because something's bothering you, and somehow, I feel like it's my fault." Armin answered.
You didn't say anything back. You let yourself walk normal a door or two before suddenly picking up your pace. When you could hear his pace starting to match yours, you hastily sped-walked the short distance to your room before swinging the door open. You hadn't even realized how close Armin was to coming inside with you until you slammed the door right in his face. That was way too close.
"Did you seriously just close the door on me?" Armin sounded like he was in disbelief. You could only imagine the appalled expression sitting on his face right now. Not that you'd find out. You were keeping this door closed wether he liked it or not.
"Yes I did. That's how doors work, Armin." Your voice reeked of sarcasm.
"Ha. Ha. Very funny. I'm laughing so hard right now." Armin matched your tone.
"Well that's just great! You can laugh all the way back to your room then." You snapped.
"I will.. If you come with me." He took on a new approach. His voice was softer, sweeter perhaps trying to coax you out of the room. He casually added, "Y'know, I was looking for you earlier. I wanted to talk to you."
Oh I bet you were, giggling with Annie like it was the happiest day of your life.
You didn't say that out loud though.
"I'll talk to you later." You lied again.
"When's later?" Armin asked.
You shrugged, forgetting that he couldn't actually see you. "I don't know."
It was silent for a minute or two on his end. You thought he went away before the doorknob suddenly jiggled. If you hadn't been hanging onto it already, he would've got in. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Armin said.
"I'm talking to you now, aren't I?" You quipped.
"You know what I mean."
"Not really."
You could hear him sigh to himself, "(Y/n), can you open the door please?" Though it didn't really sound like he was asking, more like telling you.
You scoffed as you crossed your arms, before leaning on the wall next to the door.
"(Y/n)."
You were busy closely inspecting your nails. You held your arm out to see how they looked from afar.
"I know you're there."
You were in the mirror now, debating on if you should close the extra button on your shirt or leave it undone. It was a tough decision. Eh. I'll keep it open. You undid an extra button just because.
Armin rapped his knuckles twice on the door, "Are we seriously doing this right now?"
"I'm not doing anything." You remarked. "You're the one standing outside my door like a crazy person."
You could hear Armin literally have to take a deep breath before he spoke, like he had to hold himself back from saying something. "I wouldn't be standing outside your door like a crazy person if you'd just open it and talk to me."
"Don't you have someone else to talk to? Like I don't know, Annie. Mikasa. Hell, Pieck for all I care." You snapped a little harsher than you intended.
"What? What do you mean?" Armin asked before suddenly adding, "Is that what this is all about?"
You didn't say anything back, resorting to sitting on your bed. You didn't want to admit your insecurities, didn't want to say out loud and admit to both him and yourself that you were afraid Armin might have someone else in mind. And that you were even more bothered that the someone in question could be Annie, your closest friend.
But could you even really be mad? It's not like you didn't do the same at some point. You were in a relationship with someone else, one that brutally ended not too long ago. Should I even be doing this? Is it wrong to have these feelings for someone else right now?
Armin has a right to pursue a relationship with whoever he wants, whenever he wants. He doesn't belong to you, and you don't belong to him. Sure, you guys had a kiss or two. Done a few things you probably shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean anything... Right?
Did it mean anything to him?
You sighed in frustration, massaging your temple with your fingers.
If Armin and Annie are interested in each other.. then who am I to stop them.
It was silent in the room until you suddenly heard the sound of your doorknob twisting, reminding you that you forgot to lock it. Your heart nearly jumped to your throat from how quickly you got up to run to the door. But you weren't fast enough to stop Armin from opening it. He got it open just enough before you pushed on the door to close it.
At this point it was a mini battle to see who'd gain dominance. You were pushing to close the door while he was pushing to open it. And so far, you were losing.
"Armin, move-" You grunted.
"No-" He grunted back.
You gave the door one good shove before you felt it slam up against something. But it still never clicked shut. You looked down to spot the thing keeping your door from moving any further.
Armin's boot.
You creased your brows, "Did you seriously take off your shoe just to put it in the door?"
"Yes. Yes, I did." Armin answered without an ounce of shame. He almost sounded proud. "I knew you were going to close the door once I got it open."
"For good reason." You muttered.
"And what is that reason? Just tell me." Armin plead. He tried to push the door open a little more, but you weren't budging. You didn't want to see him. Not when you were going through a crisis of emotions. "(Y/n), please just let me in."
Was he talking literally or figuratively?
You huffed another heavy sigh.
"Armin, I really don't feel like doing this right now. Okay?" Your voice had lost that sharp edge, that bratty tone. You were done. It was the most honest you've sounded this whole exchange.
You let your head fall against the door in defeat, too tired to keep putting up a fight. But when you heard a soft thump on the other side, you knew Armin did the same.
It was quiet for a moment until you watched Armin slide his boot from between the door.
"If this is what you want.. Okay." Was all you heard him mutter before he pulled the door closed for you.
You reached down to lock the door with a click.
══════════════════
It was only a few hours later that the ship finally approached land.
The city of Odiha was eerily quiet as you all spilled off the ship and onto the harbor, blanketed under the darkness of night. The only sources of light were from the moon and a large warehouse sitting on the harbor that the men tugged the flying boat into.
They refused to let either of the women help, even though the job would've been done twice as fast if Mikasa had any part in it. Maybe they wanted to feel more manly. Either way, you weren't complaining. You weren't exactly in the mood to lug a boat onto land anyways.
You found a seat on the edge of the boat slip, in a happy medium between the warehouse where the boys were fixing up the flying boat and the ship you rode in on. You definitely needed some fresh air after being asleep in your room for so long after just the whole day in general, but especially after that exchange with Armin. He hadn't said a word to you since you've been out of your room. You couldn't blame him. You wouldn't speak to someone who slammed the door in your face either.
You were quietly watching the flying boat get work done, leaning back on your hands as you sat when you felt the presence of someone walking in your direction.
You didn't have to look to know who sat beside you. You kept your eyes trained on the restless waves beneath your dangling feet.
"You okay?" Annie asked.
"Do I have sign on my head saying 'needs therapy' or something?" You asked Annie, "You're like the fourth person to come and ask me that."
It was true. Connie asked first, offering you food because he thought that was the problem. Then it was Reiner who you could tell didn't exactly know what to do, but felt the need to ask anyways. Then there was Hange, who suggested you change into your Titan to 'blow off steam'. You think they meant it literally.
"Well you're sitting by yourself and staring at the ocean like a sad widow. It's not exactly hard to tell." Annie deadpanned, causing you to laugh at yourself.
"True.. I guess I do look depressing. I'm fine though." You shrugged the lie off.
"So nothings wrong." Annie prodded.
"Nope. Not a thing." You swung your feet casually, looking back into the warehouse to watch the boys again. "Everything's fine."
"Hm. If you say so." Annie didn't sound the least bit convinced, but at least she finally finished her interrogation. You felt her swing her feet with yours. "So, I was talking to Armin earlier today."
Despite the way your heart clenched, you raised your brows as if you were surprised at this fact, like you didn't try to spy on that exact conversation earlier. "Really? About what?"
"You."
You could've gave yourself whiplash from how fast you turned to Annie. You thought you were hearing things. "What did you say?"
"Do you have feelings for Armin?" Annie asked bluntly.
"Huh?" You squeaked in surprise.
"You heard what I said." Annie's icy eyes bore into yours, searching for something to give you away.
You'd do anything to avoid this conversation. Sure, you were sour about the possibility of there being an Armin & Annie but you didn't want that to come between you and Annie. Not when you just got her back. You were willing to put your pride aside, ignore the envious thoughts surfacing in your mind, and let Annie and Armin do what they wanted. Your plan was to ignore your emotions as best as you could, until you got over whatever you were feeling for Armin.
But here Annie was, attempting to bring them right back up again.
She gave you a long look, studying every emotion you failed to hide. She quirked an eyebrow. "Well? Do you?"
"No..?" You tried.
Annie put on a face that practically told you to give it up. You sighed. There was no use in lying anymore, especially to the human lie detector.
"I do.." You muttered.
"You do what?" Annie pushed. You glared at her for making you repeat yourself.
"IHaveFeelingsForArmin." You rushed out.
Annie smiled, "Now was that so hard—?"
But you were far from finished.
"But if you have feelings for Armin too, then I won't interfere. I promise." You rambled on anxiously, not even paying attention to Annie's initial reaction, "It wouldn't be fair to you or him—"
"(Y/n)—"
"—I had my chance to start something with Armin years ago, but I blew him off because I was, well, scared." You rushed through your words, "Then Porco and I kissed and ended up doing, uh, stuff, and then we got into a relationship, and—"
Annie's face frowned up amidst your nervous rambling, "Porco? Ew. Anyways—"
You couldn't even hide the sad pout sitting on your face as you talked on and on, "—And plus you and Armin would be so cute together. You're both blondes, and have the prettiest blue eyes, and you smile at him and he laughs at your bad jokes—"
"(Y/n)!"
You finally stopped your blubbering to focus on Annie with wide eyes, nearly panting from talking so fast. She laughed at your bewildered expression before calmly resting a hand on your shoulder.
"I don't have feelings for Armin." She assured you earnestly, "I think it'd be pretty stupid of me to look at Armin that way, considering he only has eyes for you."
You blinked, "..Huh?"
"Armin likes you." Annie shook you by your shoulders a little, like she could knock some sense into your poor brain. "Not me. You."
You couldn't even keep up, "But.. I saw you and Armin... And Hitch said—"
"Hitch is an idiot." Annie cut in with an eyeroll, before she nodded her head in the direction behind you. And when you didn't follow it, she grabbed your jaw between her fingers to aim your head in the direction she was looking.
You turned to the warehouse to see Armin was already staring, but the moment he realized you both were looking at him, he quickly spun around to talk to Jean and Connie.
"Armin did come to see me almost every day in that crystal. I won't deny that." Annie confessed, "But the fact is, if Armin wasn't ranting to me about what was going on in the outside world, all he'd talk about is you. I'd say the boy's obsessed, but that feels like an understatement."
You were quiet as you watched Connie outwardly steal a peek in your direction, as if Armin had said something about you or Annie, before Jean quickly averted Connie's head back to Armin so he wouldn't give them away. Armin ran a hand down his face as he shook his head in embarrassment.
Armin actually likes me? Only me?
As if Annie could sense your inner debate with yourself, she added, "Armin came up to me today because he was looking for you. Said he knocked on your door but no one answered."
You scrunched your brows together. Did he knock? You were so deep into your thoughts earlier, you very well could've missed it.
"The only reason he sat down with me, is because I asked him to. I was being a little nosy, and wanted to know what was going on between you and him." Annie admitted before explaining, "When I was still holed up in that crystal, Armin would talk about the girl he liked, but he never really said names. Maybe because you and I were close. It wasn't hard to know it was you though, especially when I got out of the crystal and saw the way you two act around each other. You're like lovesick kids who don't know how to just come out with it." Annie grumbled.
You were dumbfounded at all this new information, "So.. Armin doesn't like you?"
Annie shrugged, "Maybe Armin did like me at some point. But if he did, it wasn't anything serious. And I definitely don't like him back. He's a nice guy, just not my type."
You breathed out a chuckle, temporarily distracting yourself from the subject of the conversation as you turned back to Annie, "Your type? You have a type?"
Annie smiled a small smile, "Kinda."
You gasped in excitement, "Annie. Don't tell me you have your eye on someone?"
You didn't even think it was possible for Annie to ever admit to experiencing the mushy mess of crushes like the rest of the world. She's always been so closed off, in her own little bubble that she kept heavily guarded. Though you guessed there was really no time for crushes and a love life when you had a mission to finish. That's something you always admired about Annie. She had tunnel vision when it came to her goals and missions. She knew how to keep out distractions and obstacles, and wouldn't let anyone get in her way.
You on the other hand were a little too easily distracted, truthfully. You let some sneaky blonde boy with enticing blue eyes get in your head and he's been living there ever since.
"Since when?" You asked, excited to indulge in the love life of Annie. You've had enough of talking about your complicated one.
"Maybe a year or two now?" She spoke quietly, like she was too scared to say it aloud. You had to remind yourself that this was probably her first time really talking about it to anyone.
"Detaiiiilsss." You sang, gently nudging Annie with your elbow.
Annie playfully swatted your arm away, "Well..."
"Wait. Can I guess?" You offered.
Annie shrugged, "Go for it."
"Levi." You said almost immediately.
Annie made the most baffled face, "Hell no."
"What? You don't think Levi's attractive?" You giggled. The look on Annie's face told you no. You scratched at your head, trying to think of someone else, "Connie? If you say yes, I think I'm gonna pass out."
"He's a little.." Annie shook her hand, the universal sign that meant Eh.. You hummed in agreement. Connie was a cool guy, but he had his moments.
"Jean?"
"Nope."
You gasped in horror, "Reiner?"
Annie flicked you on the forehead, "How dare you."
"I know, I heard it as I said it. I'm sorry." You chuckled, rubbing at your forehead. "Uhh.. Mikasa?" You joked.
Annie made a face as if she were genuinely thinking on it, but shook her head no. You didn't even stop to consider why she stopped to think about Mikasa, because hell, you'd do the same.
You tapped at your chin, "Well if it's not any of them, the only person I can think of that you were also around is.. Hitch?"
You looked at Annie, expecting to see her make another grossed-out face or any other negative reaction she had been making. But she just sat there plainly. She didn't even make a gagging noise.
Oh?
You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you when you saw a hue of pink suddenly flourish on Annie's cheeks. Annie bashfully looked away to habitually tuck a strand of blonde behind a bright red ear.
Oh!
"Annie Leonhart." You tried to say sternly, but was too excited so it missed the mark.
"Shut up." Annie mumbled.
"Oh my god—"
"(Y/n)—"
"Well no wonder you didn't like Bertholdt!" You spoke in a hushed tone, but was practically whisper-yelling as you vibrated in excitement. "That was like bringing a gun to a sword fight! Or should I say a shield? Er—"
Annie clamped a hand over your mouth as she shook with laughter, "Stop," When she was sure you were done being an idiot, she took away her hand. "I'm surprised you didn't catch on earlier. Why do you think I preferred to stick around you more than Bertholdt & Reiner?"
It felt like every nerve in your brain sizzled out.
You blinked, "Wait—"
"Hey."
You both looked behind you to see Mikasa walking up with a crate full of ODM gas tanks. "Annie, you're still having trouble using the new equipment aren't you? You should put on some gear and go practice. You could take (Y/n) with you."
You chuckled, "I'm definitely the last person Annie should take with her to learn."
"I meant to practice together. You need a little shaping up too." Mikasa corrected you.
"Oh."
"Why should I?" Annie asked bluntly.
"Well, we finally have some free time. We should do whatever we can right now." Mikasa suggested.
"I thought I told you I was done." Annie reminded both you and Mikasa of her earlier statement.
You turned to Annie with deflated hope sitting in your eyes, "You're not even getting on the flying boat with us?"
Annie went to look at her shoes, avoiding you and Mikasa's concerned gazes. "Sorry, but no. I never got the whole saving humanity thing... Our whole lives, we've been bashed and judged by the very same 'humanity' you guys are trying to save."
She then went to look at the sea, as if she could see past the horizon to the land sitting just beyond it. "And even if the Rumbling were to stop here, Marley's already destroyed. Believe it or not, Liberio treated Eldians the best compared to other nations, and had organizations that wanted to protect us. But with all of Marley gone, there's no one else to back us up... We have no one."
"I feel bad for not wanting to go on, I really do." Annie hung her head low, "But I just don't have it in me to fight anymore."
You sat a gentle hand on Annie's lap, giving her the reassurance to finally look you in the eye. "Annie, you're one of the strongest people I know. All your life you've fought tooth and nail. There's nothing wrong with sitting this fight out and giving yourself a break."
Mikasa nodded her head in thoughtful understanding, "Yeah, I get it. You don't have to keep putting yourself through this, Annie."
It was quiet for a moment, nothing but the occasional sound of the waves crashing below.
"So.. What're you going to do?" Annie asked, looking up to Mikasa, "Are you going to kill Eren to save humanity?"
For once, Mikasa was quick to answer as she turned away to the warehouse. "I'm not killing Eren. I'm going to bring him back home."
You stared at her tall figure walking away from you and Annie before it finally hit you that something was different. "Hey, Mikasa.. Where's your scarf?"
You watched her pause.
"Are you not wearing it anymore?" Annie asked.
"I have it." Mikasa confirmed before continuing her walk, "I'm just not wearing it right now."
In silence, you and Annie both watched her step into the open warehouse, and join Armin and the others in conversation. For the first time, you genuinely wanted to know what was going through her head. How did she feel about everything?
"The same goes for you, y'know." Annie broke the bubble of silence.
"What?" You turned back to her curiously.
"You've fought your whole life too. Right beside me." Annie pointed out before quietly suggesting, "You could... You could come with me. If you wanted."
You sighed as you looked at your dearest friend, "Trust me, I've thought about it... But I feel like I owe this to them.. Like my job isn't finished yet."
Annie didn't have to ask who you meant by 'them', because she too knew that feeling all too well. The vow of a Warrior. She squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, "Yeah.. I understand." She took a deep breath before getting to her feet, dusting off her pants in the process. She held a hand out to you, "I'm going back to the ship. You coming?"
You looked at her hand before looking back to the warehouse in thought. "I think I'm gonna sit out here a little longer."
Annie followed your gaze to the blonde shouting orders in the warehouse before a smirk fell on her face. She laughed softly to herself, "Okay. I'll see you inside, Mrs. Arlert."
You swatted at her leg, "Annie!" She laughed even harder as she turned to walk for the ship.
Boy were you glad she came to talk to you. It was nice to have a little girl chat for once.
It was was only a couple minutes later that you spotted Armin leaving the others behind. He was heading for the ship, getting ready to walk past you when you caught his eye for just a second. You looked away, too embarrassed to hold his gaze. To think that you were being such a brat earlier for no reason at all. You had nothing to be mad about.
It was only right that you gave him an apology.
"I'm sorry, by the way." You suddenly blurted out, before Armin could finish walking. "I shouldn't have closed the door in your face. I should've let you in."
Figuratively, and maybe literally.
You half expected Armin to ignore you and keep moving for the ship, but he didn't.
Instead you heard his footsteps get closer, right until his boots were in your peripheral vision. You slowly looked over and craned your neck up to see Armin standing over you, blue eyes trained on the sky. You followed his gaze to the sky too, and instantly softened when you saw the two brightest stars.
Altair and Vega.
"So," Armin said.
You looked over at him again to see him holding his hand out for yours, patiently awaiting your decision.
"Are you ready to talk now?"
to be continued!
word count: 6.4k
🗒 ❛ authors note ! ༉‧₊˚✧
hi guys!! how are u?
i'm actually feeling good today for once lol
that gif at the beginning is officially my fav shot of reiner. i'm not a big stan but lawd have mercy 😵💫
also shoutout 2 all my aries <333 its aries sznnnnn! my birthday is in 16 days :) (4/12) wbu?