My hand fucking ached.
I don't think the amount of morphine the doctor gave me was enough, this shit hurt.
Luca gently grips onto my other hand as i lay in the hospital bed. I've been casted up, a cast over my right hand and wrist, stopping mid forearm. Stitches on the inner side of my left arm where my implant was. Stitches on my forehead from where Aaron hit me to get in his car. Staples in my thigh because when Luca was helping escape, someone stabbed my thigh.
"Hello princess." He raises my hand to his lips. "How are you feeling?"
"My hand hurts so much." I squint at him through the bright lights.
"It will do. I can get the doctor to up the morphine?" He asks.
I nod my head and he gently lets go of my hand, walking out of the room and returning a couple of minutes later with a doctor, "Hello, Mrs. Reign. I'm Dr. Hall, i heard your hand is hurting?"
"Yeah." I close my eyes.
"It will do for a while, at the moment i can only give you morphine but upon your release i'm going to have to prescribe medication for you. Is it okay if i up your dosage of morphine?"
"Just make the pain stop... And turn the lights down."
With a couple of switches, the light was dimmed a little bit and the doctor injects more morphine into my fluids.
"It will kick in soon, how else are you feeling? How's your head?"
"Fine. When can i go home?" I look at the window, a beat up Roman and Asher walking through the halls.
"As soon as this fluid has finished i'll see about a discharge letter." Dr. Falls smiles, "Uh, would you like the shot to be replaced?"
"No." I watch Asher open the door first.
"That'll be all, Doctor." Roman clears his throat
"Stop making decisions for me." I don't want to deal with him. He can't say all of the shit he said without actually believing it himself. I feel my throat close again as tears threaten my eyes.
"Don't do this, love-"
"Dr. Falls, can you remove him from the room." I look at the old doctor who i've put in a situation.
His mouth drops open to say something, Roman turns his back to me and says something too quiet for me to hear in the doctors ear and the doctor nods his head, "I'll issue discharge papers as soon as possible, Nurse Blanc is your nurse on duty, if you need her please go to her." The doctor walks out of the room.
I was about to rip the needle from my arm but Asher grabbed my wrist, "No. You need that."
"Tell him to go away." I roll onto my side.
"Arabella." Romans voice sounded like silk, like the first day i met him.
"Please Roman. I don't want to see you."
I hear his little sigh of defeat and Luca rolls me back onto my back, "Do you need any food?"
"No."
"Why are you crying, princess?" He wipes a tear i didn't even know was falling.
"I don't know." I lean into his hand.
I know full rightly why.
Inconvenience. Needy. Whore. Cries too much.
"Hush, don't lie. Tell me." He shuffles the chair closer.
Maybe i should let them all know how i feel.
A girl can only carry so much, and i've carried for for too long.
"He's so mean to me." I cry, feeling the salt in my mouth from my tears. "He's always so mean to me and he doesn't understand that his words hurt me. He didn't... He didn't need to say everything he said in there but he did anyway. He didn't care that i was hurting."
I could hear one of the two behind me suck in a shark breath but i kept focused on Luca.
"I wanna be happy. I wanna do things. I wanna be me again."
"Love, i didn't mean-"
"Yes you did, Roman. Or you wouldn't have said it. But you said it all, for no reason."
"Fuck." His voice breaks.
"I want to go home. No... i don't want to stay here. I want to go home. To my brothers."
"I'll call Nico." Asher walks out of the room.
"How long have you felt like that for?" Luca asks, rubbing my cheeks with his thumb.
"Ages."
Roman walks around the other side of the bed so i can see him, i don't turn away. I needed Luca's touch.
"I'll earn your forgiveness, love. I promise you that." He bends down, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I'll talk to the doctor, i'll wait in the car."
He leaves the room and i could tell Luca was just as shocked as i was.
My shock turned to anxiety again, "I don't know if i can ever trust him."
"He's trying, Arabella." Luca kisses the same spot Roman kissed.
I ignore that comment. Because i was trying too and Roman didn't care.
I fall asleep with my cheek squashed against Luca's hand and when i wake again, i'm discharged and in the back of the car to go to my brothers house.
I rest my head on the shoulder next to me, realising it's Asher. "Where's Roman?" I ask
"He thought you'd respect it more if he wasn't here so he asked us to take you down." Luca says from the front, "How are you feeling? You haven't really talked."
"Tired." I close my eyes.
Asher snakes his arm around my waist. The car ride was silent as we arrived at my childhood home. Asher helped me out and kept gripped onto me as we walked from the car to the house. Luca walks in without knocking, Nicolas meets us in the foyer.
"Hey." He walks up to me, hugging me straight away.
I let go of Asher's hand, taking in the scent of my twin, finally feel at home.
"We'll be here princess, if you need us."
I didn't need them.
I stayed the entire time in my old bedroom, sleeping majority- other times reminiscing about things. I know it isn't long before i have to return home to Roman.
And i know we have to talk too. A lot of talking. Divorce talking. If he wants to respect me then he can respect me by allowing me to file for a divorce.
I know how slim the chances of that actually happening are, i think he'd rather kill me than divorce me.
I turn onto my back, staring at the ceiling, at least Luca picked a pretty pink colour for my cast. That's the only good thing to come out of this.
"What are you thinking about?" I hear Nico's voice.
"Divorce."
He scoffs a laugh, "Tell me how that one goes."
I flick my eyes to him and he walks in, i see my door still hasn't been replaced. He gets in bed with me like we did whenever we were kids, looking up at the ceiling like i did.
"I need to tell you something." He says, his voice low.
"If it's bad news, i don't care. I'm sick of bad things."
"Moms alive." He says quietly.
I look at him, "Not funny-"
"Roman knows."
"Nico-"
"Arabella. You know that weird day when you were kissing Asher?" He waits for an answer, so i nod. "I heard a woman shout, it sounded like mom so obviously, i went to check... It was mom. I swear. Roman said if i told you he'd kill me-"
"This isn't funny."
"I'm not trying to be funny. I told Marco and Marco trying to find out stuff but it was mom. Arabella, mamma is alive and your husband knows... and they looked familiar with each other." He turns on his side to look at me, "I'm being serious. I know how much you love mamma, i wouldn't lie about this to you."
I feel my chest tighten.
My mother, who supposedly hung herself, is alive? And Roman knew?
And if Roman knew does that mean Asher and Luca knew?
They were just playing me the entire time?
=
=
=
=
=
oh no
word count: 1374