This Chapter is told from Michael Afton's POV.
ANGUISH
I made my way to the bathroom to calm my spinning mind. Y/N wanted to leave me, in hopes to find me. A feeling of anguish set in. I still hadn't told her it was me. I was starting to wonder how long I could keep this secret from her. Hearing the words "I still love him" come straight from her mouth all felt surreal. I tried my best to focus and figure out how to break the news, but she figured that out for me.
I was ready to walk out of the bathroom, and as I opened the door and my heart sunk to my stomach. I saw her staring at our picture together. I really did it this time. The look on her face told me everything I needed to know. I mentally began to scold myself already. Whatever happened after this would be all my fault too. I was begging for Y/N to give me a chance to explain, the anger and confusion she clearly felt was obvious. It was written all over her beautiful features.
She allowed me to sit next to her to explain everything, even letting me put my arm around her. I was starting to feel as if the chances of Y/N running off and leaving me were decreasing, and I tried to relax. I remember my father cutting me a deal that he wouldn't harm me or Y/N if I tricked her into thinking I was someone else while getting back together with her. I explained to her how much I anguished to yell out my last name. In spite of that, I knew I couldn't. I needed to keep her protected, same goes for me.
She stood up and fixed her hair ever so subtly before shouting at me in a way that I'd never heard her shout at anyone else. She ran through the past, our past together. Recalling everything we'd stuck by each other through. Clearly angered at the factor that I didn't tell her the truth. She was so upset because she thought I'd given up on our strength as a couple.
Before I could respond, she stormed out of the house. She slammed her car door shut and sped off. Driving with these emotions were never a good idea, my heart began to descend even further in dread about what may happen. The heart making it's descent began to shatter upon realizing what I'd done. I broke one of our biggest promises, to never keep secrets from each other. I broke it in a huge way, by keeping a secret that the person who'd she cried over countless nights out of desperation and hope to find him, sat right next to her.
I held her knowing I was the fucking person she was weeping about almost everyday. I was right there this whole time, but I kept that a secret from her. I'd been lost in my thoughts for nearly 10 minutes when I received a phone-call from Jennie. I felt an increasingly ill feeling creep into my stomach before I answered the phone. Jennie was trying to catch her breath. She'd clearly been sent into a panic over something. The words that I heard next confirmed my suspicions, and my faults.
"It's Y/N. She's in a really bad car accident, she's no conscious. Get to the hospital now." The distressed Jennie struggled to get out before hanging up the phone. I covered my mouth with my hand in terror of what might've happened. It was all my fault. I'd killed someone I loved for a second time. I couldn't get in my car. I was terrified of how I was feeling at the moment. I doubt it would be a good idea to drive feeling this way. Then again, wouldn't it serve me right to die the same way she might?
Instead of going right away, I did my best to gain some composure before finally heading out to my car. I sent a text stating I was on my way, doing everything I could to hold back any tears that may try to escape between now and the trip to hell.
I hated hospitals. The noises, the beeping, the smell, it all reminded me of being with my brother in his final moments before he passed away. Due to my own error and lack of judgement. It was all happening again, because I thought I was doing the right thing. My brother, to try and toughen him up for when he got older. Y/N, my love, to try and protect her so we'd still have each other when we got older. Both for the same and opposite reasons at the same time. Irony.
REGRET
As I walked through the doors, I was greeted by staff asking me who I was there to see. I wasn't trying to come across as rude, but there was just so much going on in my fucked up head that I may have been acted more angry than I meant to sound. "I'm looking for Y/N L/N. Please get me to wherever the fuck she is now I'm begging." The staff seemed to understand the situation, as they were doing what they could to get me to calm down. They knew the distressed boyfriend that Jennie had spoken with them about had finally arrived.
Jennie told me they'd be releasing her from ICU soon and into a room, but she was still unconscious. I sat in the chair of the cold, dimly lit hospital. Taking in the smell that brought back the worst memories I had. All of the guilt and regret from my own actions flooded my mind....I had to stay strong. I knew Y/N was doing the same for everyone else, and I needed to do that too.
After 4 more hours of waiting, they finally came and got Jennie and I to head to the room to see her. Though they warned she was still unconscious, and didn't know when she'd wake up. I'd heard those words before. They haunted me in my nightmares. As I stepped into the room, I saw her beautiful face. Part of her head wrapped up. Images of my little brother came flashing into my mind. This was the worst kind of deja vu. I walked over to her side and held her hand for a minute before I lost it.
I broke down in that room. Through my heavy cries all I could do was beg her to wake up, repeating myself over and over again. "Please wake up." "Don't leave me" "I love you." "I'm sorry." Those were the only four phrases my brain could use. Once I'd finally somewhat calmed down, or however much it amounted for composing myself, Jennie had loads of questions.
"What exactly are you sorry for?" She questioned, rightfully so. It was time to completely come clean and explain myself. "For not telling her sooner." Jennie had a puzzled look on her face. "Telling her what? Are you cheating on her? You dirty fuc-" I cut her off with three words. "I'm Michael Afton." You could hear the faint ambiance of the room while Jennie was processing all of this. She demanded a reasoning, and I walked her through everything. She had the same mindset as Y/N, but she was more of a fighter than a runner, which made me worried.
"You're Michael Afton? You mean to fucking tell me all of this time she's been crying over you right in front of you and you've done nothing. For the sorry excuse of protecting her and yourself? Do you seriously not have more fucking faith in yourself, or Y/N?" She was starting to really get heated.
"I thought it was the right thing." I sighed.
"You thought it was the right thing. Really? You thought it was perfectly A-O-Fucking-K to lie to her about this. About you? You dumb fucking cunt I swear to got I'm going to fuck you up. You'll be in the room next over when I get my fucking hands on you bitch." She started to sprint after me as I took off for the elevator. I barely managed to escape in time. I got in my car and went home. In reality, I deserved all of that, but I really was a bitch.
I stayed in bed for nearly a week, only getting up to eat occasionally and shower. I didn't watch anything. I didn't listen to anything. I just cried, slept, or stared at the ceiling emotionless. Everything was truly my fault. She'd still be just fine, and we'd be so happy right now if I just told her the truth that day. I regret not doing that so much.
My thoughts had been interrupted for the first time in days. It was a phone call from a number I didn't recognize, so I ignored it. It called over and over again. I finally gave into answering, and I heard my fathers voice on the other end. "Get your ass up to this hospital now. Y/N is waking up and I bet she needs to see you right now. Hurry up." He quickly hung the phone up. I stared at the ceiling I'd grown so used to seeing, but with a different feeling this time.
Serendipity
I hurried my way to the hospital. Desperate to see the girl I loved so much awake and moving, being alive. I made my way up to the room, earning some looks from a girl I knew I'd seen somewhere before. I wasn't dwelling on familiar faces right now, I needed to see my girl. As I walked in, I tried my best to greet her in the most comforting way possible. I went over to her bedside, staring at her in her eyes longingly, and she did the same. We may be hurt, but we weren't out of love for one another.
I held her hand in mine and just looked at the person that I loved and desired so much. I felt my emotions taking over, but these were more than just tears of anguish and regret. These were also tears of joy. All I could do was apologize or thank God she was going to be okay. I felt her free hand go through my hair, and soft lips kiss my forehead.
"I love you Michael." Y/N whispered in my ear. "I love you too Y/N." I rested my head on her arm gently, allowing her to run her fingers through my hair. We'd be alright after all.
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A/N ~ I hope you liked something from Michael's POV. I really loved writing this to give insight to such a big situation. AND FOR ALL OF YOU WHO KEEP CALLING ME ANGSTFENDI YOU CAN STOP IT NOW!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOO
I hope you're all enjoying!