EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR
♡♡♡
✨Adeline✨
Don't look at them.
Just pretend the world is good and nothing happened. But something did happen. No matter how much I try to tell myself that nothing happened.
I was humiliated in front of half the school and then proceeded to slap Elias King.
And I don't regret one bit of that slap.
Kenna tried to call me several times after the incident. I didn't pick up.I knew it wasn't her fault but I had a hard time knowing she was in close with a person who reveled in my misery.
I walked down the monotone hallway with indifference. Or at least that's how I wanted to appear.
My mom always said I wore my heart on the outside.I guess I knew what she meant now.
"Hey wait up Adeline" I heard a soft feminine voice say behind me. I turn around to see Kenna speed walking towards me. Her face a flustered mess.
"Ohh hey" I said awkwardly
"We need to talk" She said sternly.
I couldn't take her seriously I broke out in a grin. She began half smiling.
"No seriously we need to talk. You haven't been answering any of my phone calls or text messages "
"I know...I know I'm sorry" I said lowly.
"You don't have to apologize I just wanted to check up on you" She said kindly.
We continued walking in silence as a I headed towards my locker.
My heart dropped as I saw who leaned against it.
I stopped in my tracks ready to turn back from the monster who looked me in the eyes and unreadable emotion lingering.
I couldn't move. The hallways has emptied up everyone had headed to class already. Thankful that they wouldn't have another spectacle to talk about.
I wasn't going to do this. I turned to walk away as Kenna began talking to him.
"Wait Adeline" Kenna called out in a hurried tone.
I stopped and slowly turned around.
"He wants to talk to you....I think he wants to apologize" She said with a twisted face. She was on the edge about what he really wanted as well.
I didn't believe it for a second.
"I'm good" I said sternly not bothering to share a glance at the tall boy standing beside my locker. The remnants of the red stains still lingered.
That only made me want to walk away from the situation even more.
I tuned to walk away once again only to have Kenna grab my wrists.
"Please just give him a chance" She pleaded.
The look in her big brown eyes convinced me.
I slowly walked towards Elias.
I stood in front of him eyes casted downwards.
"Can You look at me at least" He rasped.
I hesitantly looked up at him craning my neck to get a good view.
He was no longer leaning against my locker but standing tall.
" I wanted to- to a apologize" The last word coming out strained.
He let out a breath like it pained him to say it.
I internally scoffed at the ridiculousness. All that anger from yesterday still built up.
He Stood there expectantly as if that was enough and I should graze at his feet.
Suddenly his eyes softened and a small smile formed on his lips.
"Look I shouldn't have done that it was immature and I humiliated you. I'm really sorry and I want to make it up to you."
I stood there stunned by his sudden confession. The anger simply faded away. Hating myself I was pleading it would come back.
I didn't know what to say. Say something Addy.
"Um- Thank you...for apologizing I mean and you don't have to do anything. " I said pathetically.
Wow way to hold your ground there Addy.
We stood there awkwardly.
Should I apologize for slapping him. Maybe I should.
Don't he humiliated you.
Yes but he apologized.
He's a jerk
He apologized.
"And I'm sorry for slapping you" I said quietly but loud enough for him to hear.
He chuckled. "You're forgiven."
I offered him a small smile.
"Listen meet me after school out in the field."
Just because I forgave him did not mean I wanted to be anywhere near him.
"I don't think that's a good idea" I stated.
His eyes dimmed a bit.
"Yeah I don't think that's a good idea Elias" Kenna said emphasizing on his name.
"Listen I'm not going to do anything I swear It'll only take a couple of minutes." He pleaded looking between both me and Kenna.
"It's up to you" Kenna said.
She looked at me and I looked to the floor. It probably wasn't a good idea. But I felt bad. Why do I feel bad ?
God in this very moment I hated myself for my weakness.
"Okay but only for a couple of minutes" I said hesitantly.
He nodded.
He began to walk away I couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes as if he had accomplished something great.
"Are you sure... you don't have to do anything you don't want too" She said giving me a weird look as we headed to class late after I gathered my things.
"I'm sure. I want to see what he wants" I said nodding as If I was still trying to convince myself.
"Okay but I'm coming with you" She said like it was a done deal.
It was.
"Question: That guy yesterday that you were talking to who is he" I asked attempting to change the topic from Elias
She rolled her eyes
" You mean my twin JT" I recognized his name and all the bad memories from yesterday. She said almost like she was sad they were twins.
I couldn't help but laugh.
She joined in.
"I figured since you guys looked alike that he was probably related to you"
"Yup born on March 7th he was 2 mins early and he never lets me live it down."
"I couldn't help but notice he had an accent"
"Oh yeah he grew up in London from ages 4-15. Since my mom and dad split up they had agreed to take one child. Messed up I know. We saw each other often though."
"I'm sorry about your parents."
"Yeah...but he's back for good now." I saw how a small smile appeared on her face.
.........
The day went by pretty smoothly.
Kenna told me all about her family. Her mom sounded really cool. She invited me over to her house on Saturday.
That was the first time I had ever been invited to Someone's house.
Mom would be so proud.
I told her about my childhood. I never mentioned a thing about my mom or dad. She gathered that I didn't want to talk about it and never brought it up again.
I had a true friend.
The last period bell rang and I met Kenna by my locker.
"Hey so you ready ?" she asked me.
I hadn't thought much about the Elias situation.
"Yeah I guess." I replied
I packed my bag and shut my locker door and headed out the door with Kenna.
We rounded the outside of the school walls and took a shortcut to the field.
My heart began beating loudly.
Kenna stopped me.
"You look like you've seen a ghost" Kenna said.
She grabbed my hands "Oh my god your hands are freezing... we don't have to do this Addy" She said pleading with me.
I told her to start calling me Addy because I was comfortable with her calling me by the nickname given to me by my mother.
"No it's okay. I'm okay."
I slipped my hand out from under hers and began walking.
She followed not to far behind me.
The field was empty.
I made my way deeper into the middle.
"Maybe he forgot" I said relived at my own words.
I turned but Kenna was no longer behind me.
"Kenna ?" I said.
"Kenna ?" I repeated.
I whirled back around and out of the corner of my eye I found a group of students marching toward me.
What the-
I recognized almost all the girls who were witnesses to yesterdays show.
I saw a couple of new faces.
Boys and Girls.
There was at least 50 kids.
My heart dropped as I saw who led the group.
Elias
They were so close but maybe I still had time to get away.
I began to speed walk in the direction Kenna and I came from.
Before I knew it I was held back by bag that was ripped off of me and thrown to the ground beside me.
Please not again.
Please.
I looked up to see the girl who threw my bag to the floor.
Her and a group of other girls who somehow all resembles each other began to laugh.
The whole crowd had now assembled all around me.
I went to go pick up my bag.
I couldn't see straight.
I felt my breathing quicken.
I grabbed my bag only to be shoved onto the floor by someone I couldn't recognize.
I fell onto my back.
I looked up and saw Elias staring down at me. The sun was directly in my eyes but that didn't stop me from seeing his dark features filled with amusement.
I felt the tears reach my eyes.
One of them slipping out and rolling down my cheek.
He lifted his hand to touch my cheek. I flinched.
His hand froze in midair. Jaw clenched.
I realized that I was scared. I was terrified of what Elias King might do to me.
He backed away.
The group of girls from earlier all now held red buckets in their hand.
Paint
They had paint in the buckets.
The tears were streaming down my face now.
"Please don't" I mumbled.
And just like that one after the other they splashed the buckets all over me.
I used my hands to cover my face.
It felt like an eternity but it was truly only a couple of seconds and It was over.
Their laughter was ringing in my ears.
I looked down to find white paint splattered all over my clothes.
What did I ever do ?
I hated myself in that moment.
I hated my self for forgiving a liar.
I hated myself for allowing this to happen.
I looked up to see Elias being the last one in the field. He looked down at me.
Accomplishment written all over his face.
The group of kids had walked away laughter still echoing.
How could anyone find joy in this.
I looked up at him only to find him having walked away.
Not a trace of remorse in his steps.
In that moment I realized
That if there's one thing I hated more than myself it was Elias king and the way I fell for his lies.