People say this ain't how it's supposed to go
But I refuse to believe 'cause it happened to me
One day you're standing in the middle of the road
And you don't where you goin'
All of a sudden your whole life changed
Then life finally gives you somethin' back
It's been a mean world without you
Boy, I love you, I love you
Boy, you make me feel so beautiful
And I ain't never gonna let you go
I think about us (all day)
Dream about you (always)
Love ain't always (complicated)
I think about us (all day)
Dream about you (always)
Love ain't always (complicated)
Hope
I've been dodging Blake like crazy. After what Lauren told me it's like I didn't know what to do or say. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever so I finally decided to return his phone call and he was on his way over. I sat on the couch trying to figure out the right questions to ask because I didn't want to offend him or jump to any conclusions. There's always two sides to a story and I'm only allowing him to tell his side because I really like him. But being as though I was physically abused I can't mess with anyone who engages in that type of stuff. I can't and won't be anyones punching bag.
The longer I waited for him the more nervous I got. My stomach was doing backflips and it felt like I had to throw up. My phone rung and it scared the hell out of me. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down before answering.
Hello.
I'm downstairs.
Ok I'll buzz you in.
I walked over to the front door hit the buzzer then unlocked it and went back over to sit on the couch.
A few moments later Blake walked in.
What's up he said coming to sit next to me on the couch.
Nothing really just chilling.
You didn't have to work at the store today.
Yea, I got off early though.
So what's the issue, you care to explain why you been ignoring a nigga? I know the last time we were together I was tripping so I want to apologize. I'm just really feeling you and wanted some of your time. My bad if I made you feel some type of way, I can't have my girl out here mad at me. I got you something while I was in LA.
I watched him as he went in his jacket pocket and pulled out a box then he handed it to me. I opened it and inside was a beautiful diamond necklace that read Hope.
Omg it's beautiful I said starring at it in awe.
Just like you.
Thank you I said and he then reached over and kissed me. For a second I lost my train of thought and before I knew it I was kissing him back. He slowly pushed me down on the couch and laid on top of me. I instantly got chills over my entire body and I immediately felt nasty.
Wait stop, we need to talk.
Talk then he said still kissing me from my lips to my neck.
Seriously Blake get up I need to talk to you about something important.
He smacked his lips then got off of me. What Hope?
The night after we had our lil disagreement my friend Lauren came over. We were chilling just having casual girl talk and she told me that she bumped into your childs mother Lexus, which by the way I didn't even know you had a child. The things that she was saying that Lexus told her bothered me. She said that you're very abusive and I should get away from you before it's too late. I've been through a lot in my life and being abused was one, we can be done right now if you are the monster she's portraying you to be. I'm not with that shit and I don't care how much I like you I'm not sitting around and letting anyone put their hands on me.
Lexus is a thief and a liar. I haven't seen her and my son in months, she basically kidnapped him and is keeping him away from me. I'll admit shit did get physical between us I was tired of her always accusing me of cheating and putting her hands on me and one day I just snapped. I ain't condoning my behavior because it was wrong for me to put my hands on her especially in front of my kid but she twisting the fuck out of the story and tryna paint me out as the villain. I changed that girls life, I did any and everything she asked me to do and she didn't have to ask twice. I just wanted better for her, she cried and complained about stripping so I saved her. Anything I ever told her was to help her but the mfs she had in her ear was telling her that all I was doing was trying to control her which wasn't the truth. All them mfs was crabs in the bucket and all they wanted to do was keep her down with them. We had a kid to think about and all I wanted was the best for my shorty and his mama. We tried the family thing and it didn't work, I'm cool with that but I still want to be a father to my son and all I care about is his well being.
Something told me that he was telling the truth, I still didn't like the fact that he physically put his hands on her but I guess some things just go further than they need too.
Blake I pray you aren't a monster.
Hope I promise you I'm not. I would never do shit to hurt you. I put that on my son. I love you shorty.
Every emotion I had heightened when he said he loved me. I haven't had anyone tell me those three words since my mother passed. I swallowed the lump I had in my throat.
I love you too.
I leaned back over and kissed his soft lips. What started off as pecks quickly turned into passionate deep kisses. He slowly laid me back and got on top of me. My heart was pounding but I was sure that I was ready for this.
Take these off he said breaking the kiss and pulling at the pants I had on. Once I did so he waisted no time inserting himself inside of me. The first few seconds where slow and steady but Blake quickly sped up his rhythm and became rough. Something about the way he recklessly pounded in and out of me brought me back to those many occasions when I would lay there crying as the men who paid my step father had their way with me. At first I was turned on but now all I wanted him to do was hurry up and get off of me. I don't think I'll ever be ok with having sex because of the experiences I went through.
As soon as Blake was done he kissed me on my lips then got up and went into the bathroom. I sat up and grabbed my underwear and pants then looked around when I noticed that there wasn't a condom wrapper which quickly made me realize that I was too caught up at the moment in the beginning to even realize he didn't use one. Then I damn near panicked when it registered that he came inside of me. I got up off the couch at the same time he was coming out the bathroom.
Did you come inside of me?
Yea, not on purpose though. I'll get you a plan B
Um, ok Imma hop in the shower right quick.
Blake chilled on the couch while I tried to scrub every inch of him off of me in the shower. A few tears even graced my face as I felt guilty as hell. Once I was done I put some comfortable clothes on then went into the kitchen so that I could wash the dishes.
A few moments later Blake came into the kitchen to hand me my phone when he accidentally dropped it into the dish water, I was pissed.
Damn shorty that's my fault.
I quickly tried to dry it off but you could see the water damage and the screen was messing up already. I let out a deep breath because if it wasn't one thing it was another, now I have to get a new damn phone.
Ay stop looking so stressed we can go get you another phone first thing tomorrow, I'll even update it and add you to my line that way you don't have to worry about a bill.
You don't have to do that Blake.
I know I don't but I want to and I am he said kissing me on my cheek. What you got up later?
Nothing, why what's up?
I wanna take you somewhere so be ready around 7:30
Where?
Don't worry about all of that just be ready, I'll be back and imma make sure I grab that pill.
Ok.
Once Blake left all there was left for me to do was chill, my phone was acting crazy, nothing on the tv was catching my attention and I was beyond bored. I was eager to know where Blake was taking me but he was acting like it was top secret which was very much lame to me but whatever. While I sat here I thought about what went down between me and Blake and I knew if we ever went there again something would have to be done differently because I wasn't feeling it at all.
Hours had gone by and Blake was now back at my apartment to get me.
I wish you'd tell me where we're going. How do I even know if I'm dressed right.
Hope you good, come on now don't irritate me.
Did you get the pill?
Damn I had got caught up with what I was doing. Before we come home tonight we can stop and grab it.
Did he just say home I thought to myself. He done made me his girlfriend and moved in all in one day.
We left out then got in his car. The whole ride he had a look of irritation on his face. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but I didn't because I didn't want to irritate him more.
We drove for what seemed like forever until we finally reached a beautiful home. He parked in the driveway and we got out.
This house is beautiful, whose is it?
Yo ass know you be asking a million questions he told me as he used his key to walk inside which was just as beautiful as the outside.
Ay, where everybody at he called out.
We're in the kitchen I heard a female voice say.
Blake grabbed my hand as we headed in the direction of what I'm assuming was the kitchen.
It smells good in here I told him in a low tone.
Shit gone taste better then it smells trust me.
Once we made it into the kitchen there was a man sitting at the table and a woman sitting his plate down in front of him.
Hope this is my fathers wife Crystal, and this is my father Steven.
At that exact moment I'm sure my whole body turned purple and I was no longer breathing. There sat Steven, the last time I saw him was when I stabbed him in his leg, jumped out of his car and took off running. You mean to tell me he's Blake's father. This had to be some kind of joke...