They continue down the winding tunnels. Shen Qingqiu is starving, if it comes down to it he'll eat Wei Wuxian.
Yes, he technically doesn't have to eat to survive but he's become spoiled thanks to his sticky husband! He looks over to Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian who also look hungry.
If they get out of here, he's going to make them buy him food for getting him in this mess. It's mostly Wei Wuxians fault for making Xie Lian eat that mushroom! Then again... Xie Lian is very unlucky, so it's also his fault!
Shen Qingqiu really does have too much patience for these protagonists. It might be a soft spot he has, a protagonist is a protagonist after all!
All of a sudden, a ferocious growl erupts throughout the cave. Xie Lian readies Ruoye and Shen Qingqiu draws Xiu Ya. Nothing approaches them and they turn around.
"Haha, sorry I'm just really hungry," Wei Wuxian chuckles. What the fuck! "Say Xie-Xiong... do you have any food on you?" Wei Wuxian asked, eyeing Xie Lian. Xie Lian chuckles nervously, pulling out something from his sleeve.
"I only have this half eaten mantou bun... but it's stale and almost a year old so-," Xie Lian explains, but gets cut off as Wei Wuxian snatches it out of his hand and eats the whole thing. All Xie Lian can do is stand and watch, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
"Thank you Xie-Xiong!" Wei Wuxian beams, giving a thumbs up at poor Xie Lian. Xie Lian just nods as if in a daze as Wei Wuxian continues walking.
Shen Qingqiu will never look at Wei Wuxian the same way again.
The three continue walking, as they have been for hours. Wei Wuxian starts to hum WangXian again despite Shen Qingqiu's protests but Shen Qingqiu is too tired to even say anything to go against it.
He thinks back to where this all started: Luo Bing-ge. It's all his fault that he got stuck with two protagonists! Shen Qingqiu sighs, mentally banging his head against a wall.
He can try blaming others as much as he wants but in the end it's always Airplane shooting towards the skies fault. Or maybe even his own fault for dying. He doesn't really regret it, after all he met Binghe in the end.
Now look at what wandering for so long has done! It's turned him into a sappy, homesick husband! But he can't help it, he's going to get out even if he has to sacrifice Wei Wuxian in the process.
As if the gods heard that and are on Wei Wuxians side, the cave starts shaking intensely. The floor under them gives out and they fall. Yep, Shen Qingqiu is going to die. After all that hard work too!
Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes and braces for impact but it never comes, instead he feels something wrap around his waist and tighten. After a few moments, he opens his eyes. Xie Lian saved them with Ruoye!
But... they are all tangled together now.
...fuck
"Xie-Xiong you saved me!" Wei Wuxian rejoices, he is hangin upside down from his ankle.
"Ah, it was no problem." Xie Lian smiles, hanging from his wrist.
"How stable is this?" Shen Qingqiu asks, looking at the drop down.
"Ruoye should hold, don't worry Shen-Xiong," Xie Lian reassured. Shen Qingqiu let out a sigh of relief, hoping to the gods that Xie Lian wouldn't jinx them again.
Thankfully, he didn't jinx them, but they hung there for hours. Wei Wuxian eventually passed out. Shen Qingqiu had to convince Xie Lian not to drop down. Xie Lian claimed he wouldn't die from it he would only have to heal his body. Shen Qingqiu quickly put a stop to that.
At the end of hour three, Shen Qingqiu saw something out of the corner of his eye, it was red and just floating in mid air. It looked similar to-
Oh
Oh no....
OH HELL NO!
"Shen-Xiong, I see something red," Xie Lian made known, looking opposite to where Shen Qingqiu was looking.
THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE?! WTF!
'SYSTEM!' Shen Qingqiu shouted at the system inside his head, wiggling and panicking as the red began to grow larger where it was.
[What does host need?]
'Glad you're not broken anymore, but what the hell is happening?!'
[initiating secret plot: Thousand wanderers]
[loading... loading complete! Enjoy host!]
'WHAT THE FUCK?! COME BACK YOU SHIT SYSTEM!'
Shen Qingqiu wants to cry. The red expands until it covers the room. Then almost like an explosion, it shrinks back in, creating a circular portal.
Shen Qingqiu knows this as a rift, the exact same rift Xie Lian, Hua Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and just about everyone else who isn't supposed to be in PIDW came out of!
Who is next? Who has the system sent to torment him this time?
A man with white hair drops out of the portal, landing on his ass. He gives a Yelp when he lands then tries to turn around and go back through the portal. But... it closes. Shen Qingqiu turns to where Xie Lian was looking.
A young man drops out of the second rift and lands on his face. He looks shockingly similar to Shen Qingqiu himself. The young man look up and sees the three hanging there (and Wei Wuxian passed out). He also sees the man with white hair across the ravine from him.
"How's it hanging?" The man with white hair calls out. Shen Qingqiu would've thought his joke was funny if he hadn't been hanging for the last three fucking hours.
"Ah, hello! I'm Xie Lian and these are my friends Wei Wuxian, and peak lord Shen. We seem to find ourselves in a bit of a predicament!" Xie Lian says to the two.
"You require our assistance?" Shen Qiao questions. Xie Lian smiles and nods, he looks a bit embarrassed.
The two help the three down. Now the group of three became a group of five.
[congratulations! You found protagonist Shen Qiao of thousand autumns!]
[congratulations you found love interest Wen Kexxing of Faraway Wanderers!]
A fellow love interest? That's a first normally Shen Qingqiu is a protagonist magnet, not this time!
"Thank you so much for helping us, what are your names?" Xie Lian asks.
"This one's name is Shen Qiao," Shen Qiao, the one that looks like Shen Qingqiu answers.
"This one's name is Wen Kexxing," Wen Kexxing, the one with white hair responds. Around this time, Wei Wuxian starts to wake up. He stretches his arms and yawns.
"Shen-Xiong! Xie-Xiong! I just woke up from the most amazing dream! Me and Lan Zhan were-," Wei Wuxian starts but closes his mouth once he notices the two other people.
Shen Qingqiu also reminded himself that the two new people they met, probably have husbands. It would only make sense since Xie Lian, Wei Wuxian, and Shen Qingqiu have husbands.
"Ah, Wei- Xiong this is Shen Qiao and Wen Kexxing. They saved us," Xie Lian introduces. Wei Wuxian seems to be thinking of something. Shen Qingqiu thinks Wei Wuxian shouldn't try to think that hard or else he might hurt himself.
"Wait, so then which one of you should I call Shen-Xiong?" Wei Wuxian eventually says.
Really protagonist?! That's all you can think of?!
"If you would like, you could just call me Xiao-Qiao." Shen Qiao says. Wei Wuxian nods.
"Well Wen-Xiong and Xiao-Qiao, I think we are going to be good friends! But just so you know, you guys can't outdrink me." Wei Wuxian beamed, getting up and wrapping an arm around their shoulders.
"Wanna bet?" Wen Kexxing smirked. Wei Wuxian smirked back, and they are already best friends.
And just like that, Shen Qingqiu has two more children to deal with. Hopefully Shen Qiao is tolerable. Wen Kexxing seems like he is a copy of Wei Wuxian, if not worse. And Shen Qingqiu is NOT here for it.
"Speaking of, totally random question.. are you guys cutsleeves?" Wei Wuxian asks. If Shen Qingqiu was drinking something he would have spat it out in surprise.
Dear protagonist, you can't just ask people things like that! They might not want to tell you!
"I have a husband," Shen Qiao answers.
"Yep! And I have my darling A-Xu," Wen Kexxing smiles, an adoring look in his eyes. They are then submerged in an hour long rant of how amazing his A-Xu is. Shen Qingqiu wants to hurl himself down the ravine. He wishes Xie Lian didn't save him with Ruoye, it would've been better than this.
After he was finished, Wei Wuxian then started on his rant about Lan Wangji. Shen wanted to bang his head against a rock. Shen Qingqiu noticed that Shen Qiao and Xie Lian were engaged in a conversation, and they both looked happy.
Now, he just had to figure out how he was going to get three protagonists and a love interest back to their husbands safely and in one piece while staying alive himself. Not to mention they are lost in a cave full of monsters.
...fuck his life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, back at Qing Jing peak...
"SHIZUN!"
"GEGE!"
"Wei Ying!"
...those are the shouts that disciples and peak lords have been hearing for the last day. Why? Their husbands are missing. Qing Jing, Qiong Ding, and Bai Zhan disciples and their peak lords have been looking for the missing Qing Jing peak lord.
Hua Cheng, Lan Wangji, and Luo Binghe are forced to work together to look for their husbands, considering they went to look for cooking materials and never came back. Binghe is in tears and Hua Cheng has half the mind to punch him, it would relieve stress but probably cause a fight.
"Where is Shizun?" Luo Binghe whimpered... WHIMPERED!!
"You think I know the answer? Use your freaky demonic blood," Hua Cheng murmured. Luo Binghe glared at him.
"I tried! I can't feel it in him, it's as if it's blocked." Luo Binghe explained. "Don't you have some weird telepathic connection to Xie-Xiong?"
"It's also blocked," Hua Cheng sighed. It's as if someone didn't want them finding their husbands...
Out of the corner of his eye, Luo Binghe noticed a familiar red thing. It looked like the rift everyone came out of! It continued expanding until two people fell out. One had a grumpy expression with a white streak in his hair. The other has black hair.
"What the hell..." Hua Cheng mumbled under his breath. Two more? Now he has to deal with another pair of husbands. He just wants his Gege back.
The one with a white streak in his hair looks up with an upset expression, which turned to annoyed. The other man kept a neutral expression.
"Who are you?" Luo Binghe demanded.
"This one is Zhou Zishu, who are you?" Zhou Zishu introduced himself, remaining polite.
"Luo Binghe, demon emperor." Luo Binghe announced. Hua Cheng rolls his eyes, he contemplates killing the newcomers since they're interfering in his search for Gege. He decides not to do Gege won't be upset later.
The man with a white streak in his hair gives a mocking laugh.
"Demon lord you say? You don't look more intimidating than a small dog." The man with the white streak in his hair says. Luo Binghes expression darkens.
"And who might you be?" Luo Binghe mumbled, glaring at the man.
"Yan Wushi, leader of Hanyue sect," Yan Wushi scoffs, acting like Luo Binghe was stupid for not knowing.
"This one Hua Cheng, or better known as the crimson rain sought flower." Hua Cheng says, he might as well introduce himself now.
"This one's title is Hanguang-Jun, courtesy name is Lan Wangji." Lan Wangji also introduces himself.
"Good, now that we all know each other tell me why you brought me here." Zhou Zishu says, looking suspiciously between Hua Cheng and Luo Binghe.
"We didn't, you just appeared here." Hua Cheng answers. Zhou Zishu seems to contemplate this for a second.
"Just appeared here? Do you think I'm stupid? It might not have crossed your mind, but I don't share the same IQ as you." Yan Wushi scowled. Luo Binghe glared and turned to Zhou Zishu.
"Control your husband," Luo Binghe told Zhou Zishu, gesturing to Yan Wushi. Both Yan Wushi and Zhou Zishu froze for a bit before jumping away from each other.
"He's not my husband!" They both yelled at the same time. Then both their eyes widened as they looked around and noticed that they haven't seen their actual husbands.
"By any chance have you seen a man with white hair?" Zhou Zishu questioned, looking around. "His name is Wen Kexxing, but I call him Lao-Wen. He is my husband." Zhou Zishu continues.
"Have you seen a man with black hair? He wears sky blue robes and looks like an immortal-," Yan Wushi starts, also looking around. He is interrupted my Luo Binghe.
"Are you trying to steal my Shizun away?" Luo Binghe glowers.
"Of course not! Why would I want your Shizun?" Yan Wushi snaps.
"So you're saying that Shizun isn't worthy?" Luo Binghe questions tempted to draw his sword.
"Shut up! I don't have time for your mess. I'm looking for my A-Qiao!" Yan Wushi sighs, glaring at Luo Binghe.
"Since we are all looking for our husbands, we should work together." Lan Wangji suggested. They all turned to stare at him as if he was crazy, then considered it.
"Your husbands are missing as well?" Zhou Zishu questioned. Luo Binghe, Lan Wangji, and Hua Cheng nodded.
"Very well, let's all help each other then," Zhou Zishu smiled. Yan Wushi reluctantly went along with them.
Little did they know, the nightmare they were about to face.
A/n- I'm ass at honorifics, even though I've been studying them, so if I got anything wrong please please please correct me!
Also, this was literally supposed to be 700 words but I got carried away lmao, now it's like 2000 or smth
Thank you for comments and votes they give me writing inspiration! And yes I somehow updated in 5 days, I'm shocked myself haha
Since this fic is wrapping up soon I'm going to start another one after: a zombie AU or an MXTX role reversal AU :D