Gwendoline is a old white woman with hair as pale as her skin. She has rosy cheeks and wrinkles which define her age. Though, she's very talkative.
"You're beautiful, my darling. I know why Mr. Reign likes you so much." She takes a lock of my hair and twirls it around her finger.
"You're friends with him?"
"Friends, no." She laughs, pulling out her bag and notepad, "There was a murder case he was involved in whenever the was thirteen and i was the psychologist to assess him."
Damn. Thirteen?
"But enough talk about him, what's going on with you." She smiles nicely.
I fiddle with my fingers, i haven't put the ring back on yet. I won't. Not until Roman is mine.
"How can i tell if someone's manipulating me?" I ask, Vincent's eyes in the corner of the room land on mine and he looks away quickly.
Gwendoline sighs, "Well... there's a lot of factors that can result in that. Can i know the context of the situation?"
"I was supposed to go to Nevada, we've been planning it for so long. There was an Ariana Grande concert that Luca and I were going to go to, Roman wanted me to go and see his casinos... But then yesterday they told me i couldn't go because of some stupid reason that makes no sense to me and now i'm stuck here. Roman said he was sorry... but... But i don't know if he's only saying that."
She writes this down, "Did he say anything else to you?"
"He said he didn't want to leave while i was angry at him, told me not to cry over him, that he'll make it up to me. But... But if you know Roman, you know he doesn't apologise. But he said sorry to me... twice."
"How did you feel when he apologised?"
"I didn't know to believe him or not- everything that comes out of his mouth. I know he's manipulative, i've seen him be that way, but... but at the same time i guess i thought it was real." I don't even know. It's hard to try and love a psycopath.
"Did you think it was real or did you want to believe it was real, because they're two different things."
"Both." I pick up a grape, plopping it into my mouth.
"Did he do anything to make you believe it was real?"
"He slept with me." I say, and can read the confusion in her face. I elaborate, "He fucks me, but he never sleeps with me after. He slept with me. Usually he just leaves me, doesn't even clean me up. He cleaned me up and slept with me. Like that could be mind games right? For me to fall for his act."
"Potentially, but from assessing Roman personally, it's hard to decipher." She clears her throat. "Do you feel like he gaslights you?"
"No." I shrug. "But then there's... don't judge me for this." I look at her, but then look over at Vincent too. "He basically gave me the okay to fuck his friends. Like, who does that?"
"Have you?" She asks.
"Yes. Both." I nod, Luca's and i was a quick fuck in the back of his car, "And Roman knows. He doesn't even care. He's seen me fucking Asher and hasn't gave a shit."
"Do you have feelings for them?"
"Not... Not romantic ones. Because i know i'm basically going to die with Roman, i don't really care for anyone like that apart from him. But... I like the way they treat me sometimes."
"How is that?" She writes this down.
"Well, for starters they sleep with me after we fuck, they cuddle me, they're nice to me, they don't manhandle me whenever they can, they help me too, whenever i'm upset or tired, they'll leave their duties to do that."
"And Roman doesn't?"
I snort, "Roman was nice to me last night. That's it. He's usually a dick, an intolerable one at that."
"I think if Roman is allowing you such freedom, you should take advantage of it. Regardless on if you feel like you shouldn't feel for them, i believe Roman is giving you them so that you can. He can use it as a replacement for him."
"What does that mean?"
"In a way, i believe Romans allowing you to do things with the two others because he knows he won't be able to give it to you. Those three are tight, have been best friends for as long as i can remember. Romans personality isn't like a normal persons, so in a way, he's replacing him with his friends so that you can... essentially fall in love with somebody. Who one, is close to him, two, he trusts and three, everything he can't give you." She smiles a little, "I would say it's because he likes you"
"Roman doesn't like me." I laugh.
"No, he might have a weird way of showing it. But trying to give you alternatives to love someone is proving that he does, and that he feels strongly for you. What other Italian man do you know that allows his wife to fuck his best friends regularly?"
Very good point there.
"So you're saying he wants me to fall in love with one of them so i can thrive on the feelings they give me?"
"Sort of. I'm assuming, in my psychological knowledge, that it's that. But Roman has one of the hardest personalities to decipher. The hardest for me." She admits, "I would give it a try, allow yourself to feel for Asher and Luca."
"What if they don't feel it back? And i end up in love with three guys who hate me?"
"I think this goes a lot deeper than just Roman, darling. You don't have a good relationship with your father, do you?"
"You can say daddy issues." I eat another grape, "I don't really have a good relationship with any man in my life."
"It shows." She writes this down, "How your feeling is normal, but i can tell you that Roman doesn't hate you. If he did, he would have killed you by now."
"Men are confusing." I sigh.
"They are. They always complain we're the confusing ones but they fuck with our minds so often they don't even realise it impacts us."
We talk for hours about all of the things i'm feeling, she gave me her number and told me to call her if i needed anything.
My brother didn't show up either, i was depending on it but Vincent came to tell me he wouldn't be showing up.
So, i spent the day reorganising my closet and getting rid of the clothes i didn't want anymore. I tried to get Vincent to take me to the thrift store so i could donate them but he refused and said he'd take them down himself.
I sat in my bed, cuddled up watching an old black and white movie when my phone rings.
"Luca." I put it on speaker.
"Hello princess, calling to check how you are? Is everything okay?"
"I'm bored." I say.
"I know you are, i can tell." He laughs a little, "Has Roman called you yet?"
"No." I wasn't expecting one either.
"That's alright, just wondering. I sent something to the house for you, it should be there tomorrow hopefully."
"What is it?"
"Surprise, princess."
"How's Asher?"
"He's... Asher, what are you doing man?"
"Rolling a joint." Ash replies.
I laugh.
"Who's room are you in?" He asks.
"My own." I look at the TV.
"Ouch, here's me thinking you liked my room the best."
"I like Asher's room the best because his blankets are heated, and because his beds real soft."
"I just think you like Asher the best."
"Shh, don't expose my secret."
"I'm going to pretend i'm not offended by that." He says, but then an alarming starts beeping through the phone. "I got to go princess, have a good night, i'll call you tomorrow."
"Bye." I hang up, sinking further into my mattress.
I had nothing else to do.
I reach for the remote, turning off the TV and slapping the base of my lamp until it's off, then i turn onto my side and burrito myself in my blanket.
Falling asleep.
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