Josh's POV
"Well, I guess you don't have what Sloan had after all" I laughed as I started to undress to take a shower,
"Actually, I think I might." She said quietly from the middle of my room,
"What? That doesn't make any sense," I giggled as I peeked my head out of the bathroom door. I saw her face, drained of its color as she stared blankly into the room. I stopped for a moment, realizing I was missing something. I repeated her words in my head, it finally clicked. "Wait, you think...you think you're pregnant too?" I asked softly as I walked towards her slowly. She continued staring past me. When I finally grabbed her hands, her eyes teary eyes moved to mine. She broke down and started crying, I quickly wrapped her in a hug. I don't think I had ever seen her cry before. "Hey, it's ok," I said rubbing her back as I held her close. I held her until the sobbing slowed to sniffling. I took her hand and led her over to the bed, sitting down and pulling her into my lap. I didn't know what to say, part of me felt a little spark of excitement, the other part was all shock. I stayed quiet, waiting for her to speak, I wasn't sure how she felt. Were these happy tears, terrified tears, or was she completely against the whole idea.
"I- I'm sorry" She finally said, the words partially getting caught in her throat, "I don't know how this happened"
"Baby, don't apologize." I said as I wiped her tears, "We don't even know if you are, aren't you on birth control?" She nodded, "Then chances are you aren't right?" She got up and walked over to her suitcase, taking out her birth control "What are you doing?"
"I'm reading all the warnings and shit on the back." She said as she shushed me, she read quietly for a moment. She suddenly brought her hand up covering her mouth as her eyes got wide. "Antibiotics, I took antibiotics when I got sick on tour."
"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, feeling lost again.
"It says here that antibiotics can make the birth control not as effective." She said, tears starting to fall again as she covered her face. I hurried over and hugged her again, but she pushed me away gently, "Can you just give me a minute." she requested. I wanted nothing more than to hold her tight and comfort her, but I needed to respect her boundaries as well.
"Sure, I'm going to go take a shower. If you need me don't hesitate to come in." I said kindly, I gave her a soft kiss on her temple before going into the bathroom. I walked in and shut the door, turning on the shower. The water ran, filling the room with steam as I stood there, thoughts rushing through my head. We had been together for 3 months. She was such a flighty person, I was terrified she was going to panic and run. I knew that she loved me, and that I loved her more than anything, but having a baby so soon in our relationship was scary. I wasn't against it at all though. I would support her in whatever she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. If she was pregnant, I would adore bringing a baby into the world with her. I knew I had to keep my emotions very vague on it until I knew fully how she felt. I didn't want my emotions to sway any of her decisions. I showered for a while as my mind ran over all the possible outcomes from here. I finally walked out of the bathroom to find Rhiannon sitting on the bed. She was wearing pajamas and had her knees pulled to her chest. Her bloodshot eyes landed on me, and her bottom lip began to quiver, telling me she was fighting off crying. I quickly slipped on some flannel pants and walked over, sitting next to her on the bed.
"I don't know what to do, but I'm here however you need me." I said as I held my eyes on her,
"Can you just hold me?" She asked quietly, I nodded and scooted in next to her, pulling the covers over us before putting my arms out for her.
"Come here," I said as she cuddled up close to me, I wrapped my arms around her. I kissed the top of her head, lingering there. I was glad she found comfort in me, as much as I did in her. We just lay there quietly for what felt like hours, I almost thought she had fallen asleep when she started to sniffle again.
"I'm going to be an awful mom." She said abruptly with her head still on my chest.
"Why would you ever think that love?" I said as I held her a little tighter, it was clear she didn't want to look at me for this conversation because she remained in her spot.
"I didn't really have a mom, she left me and my dad when I was a baby, so how am I supposed to know what moms do. And it never really bothered me because by the time I was thinking about kids I was told I probably wouldn't be able to have any. But now that it's a possibility I'm terrified."
"Rhiannon, you are the most loving, caring, and fiercely protective person I've ever met. You are constantly putting other people first. Like today for example, you felt awful and pretended to be ok because you knew I was excited about something. All of those things tell me that you will be the most amazing mom." I said as I ran my fingers through her hair,
"You really think so?" She said softly as she turned to look at me,
"I know so." I replied, kissing her on the forehead. She didn't smile, or say anything back. She just returned to her spot on my chest. "You've never talked about your family before," I said, glad she was finally opening up a little bit about her past. Of course I had been curious, but I knew she would open up when she was ready.
"Yeah, I don't usually talk about my mom. But me and my dad were really close. He died in a car accident my senior year of high school."
"I'm sorry to hear that, I would have loved to meet the person who raised you." I said
"He would have loved you." She said, and I felt her cheek bones as she smiled, "He's the one who instilled a love of music in me, most of my vinyl collection is his."
"I'd love to look through it sometime" I replied. I had never seen her apartment, or any space that was 'hers'.
"Well, I am going home after new years, you should visit." She said. I knew she was going home and I dreaded being away from her. I'd be staying in Michigan and she'd be going all the way back to California.
"I'd really like that." I paused, "I don't want to stress you out, or pressure you to do anything, but what do we do now?" I held my breath, hoping I hadn't upset her.
"I guess we can go get a test tomorrow." She sighed, "But right now I am exhausted,"
"I'm sure you are, it's 3am, we can talk more tomorrow, go to sleep baby." I said as we shifted further into the bed. She nodded and nuzzled her face into my neck. She fell asleep quickly but I stayed up, staring at the ceiling. I reached over and turned off her alarm so she could sleep in in the morning.
Rhiannon's POV
I rolled over in the bed, trying to feel for Josh, I opened my eyes when I realized he wasn't there. The memories from the previous night came flooding to my mind. I groaned as I rubbed my face. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had been dating Josh for a few months. I had so many mixed emotions I didn't even want to think about it. I decided to take a shower since I hadn't taken one the previous night. I got out and wrapped in my towel, I stood at the sink and started brushing my teeth when I suddenly got nauseous. I quickly moved to the toilet barely making it in time before I puked. I sat on the floor because it seemed like every time I got up to move I just got sick again. I heard Josh's door open,
"Hey so I- Rhiannon?" I heard as he closed the door,
"In here" I managed. He pushed the door open and I saw his face full of concern as his eye met mine on the floor.
"Are you getting sick again?" He asked as he squatted down next to me and rubbed my back.
"Yes, I don't know how theres anything left" I groaned
"Is there anything I can do?" He asked. God I loved him, he was the most considerate and loving person.
"Can you get me some comfy clothes? No bra, I don't think I'll be leaving your room today."
"On it, be right back" he said before walking into his room. He walked back in holding one of his shirts and a pair of my cotton shorts. "I brought you one of my shirts, I'd rather you mess up one of my old shirts than one of your pajamas if you get sick unexpectedly. Is that ok?" I nodded as I smiled softly. I stood up and started to sway as I felt light headed. "Whoa, here let me help" he held my waist as I closed my eyes to get my bearings. I slowly opened my eyes and he was staring at me, it looked almost like he was about to cry
"Josh, I'm ok. I just need to eat something." I said as I slowly started to get dressed. He stood close by in case I started to fall over.
"I actually figured you might be hungry when you woke up, so I did some googling. It said something good when you have morning sickness is a smoothie. And I know that we don't know if this is what that is, but I got you one if you want it." He said sweetly,
"That actually sounds really good. Let me just brush my teeth really quick." Josh stood in the doorway, never getting to far away from me. I was sure this was how the next 9 months would be if I was pregnant. I finished brushing and slowly made my way to the bed with Josh holding my arm seeing as how I was still swaying a bit.
"You need anything else from downstairs?" He asked once I was comfortably in the bed and under the covers. I shook my head and he disappeared from his room. "Wait Josh!" I said, he came back into the room,
"If anyone asks can you just say I have a migraine or something" I whispered, he nodded and then shut the door. A few minutes later he came back through the door holding 2 smoothies, and a trash bin.
"I got banana strawberry and berry, you can have whichever you'd like and I'll drink the other." He said as he placed them on the night stand, taking his shirt and pants off, slipping his flannel pants back on from the previous night. "I also brought this, so you don't have to get up and run to the bathroom every time" He said holding up the trash bin and sitting it next to my side of the bed. I felt so bad that he was having to take care of me,
"Sorry I keep getting sick."
"Do not apologize for that, it's not your fault." He said as he settled on the bed next to me. "I hate that you feel like shit but I love taking care of you. Plus it gives me an excuse to just cuddle with you all day." He smiled before kissing me, causing me to blush. "Now. Which smoothie would you like?"
"Banana strawberry please," I said coyly. He handed it to me and I took a sip. It was delicious and the cold felt good on my raw throat. I sighed as I waited to see if I could keep it down, I opened my eyes and caught Josh staring at me, "What?" I giggled as I took another sip,
"I just love you." He said as he pulled me a little closer.
"I love you too," I said as I leaned my head on his shoulder. "So you went out in this freezing weather just to get me a smoothie?"
"I did, I mean I may have stopped at the drug store too." He said, I looked over to see a grin on his face. I turned and looked at him with wide eyes,
"You didn't have to do that." I said
"I wanted to, I know you said we could go get a test today but I also knew you were so tired and didn't feel well. It doesn't mean we have to do it now, just when you're ready" He reassured me, "Right now lets just focus on getting that smoothie into your system so you don't pass out on me," I nodded and took another sip. He turned on the tv and then wrapped his arm around me as we sunk further into the mattress.