*dramatic drumrolls*
This chapter is no doubt the most anticipated one, I am posting in between my exams just because eveni couldn't wait to write this.
So make sure to show all the appreciation
~
"because I am not the one she needs right now . She needs her family......more than me"
Taehyung gave namjoon a "are you serious" look because he had no Idea what namjoon was talking about.
"You know Taehyung, yn is different. She is very different from all of us, parents, family home things that we didn't even think much about has always been something she dreamt of, something she wished she also gets to experience at least once in her life.
I remember one day when I returned from office I found yn curled on the sofa crying her eyes out watching some drama where the family was having dinner together, the mother was feeding her sick daughter. That is how much she was suffering.
She has always been lonely taehyung. And I thought that maybe I could feel the emptiness in her heart but I am not enough .
She finally got it taehyung, her mom and her family. Everything she has ever wanted. "
"Don't be ridiculous, hyung! I know yn is very happy to have her family back but that doesn't mean she doesn't need you. This sounds so ridiculous that now that she has a family you have to leave her. I know it's not the reason. If it is then I am sorry but you are really stupid "
Namjoon remained silent. He had no words to explain the turmoil in his heart because he himself didn't know what he was feeling. It was too complex for Even him to put it in human words.
"I…i am scared Tae…" he finally admitted. He raised his gaze from the desk to his friend who was looking at him with worry because of the tears that had clouded his eyes.
"I know…i know i might be stupid for this but..but i am scared. After everything Yn said that day I am not sure if I really deserves her.
Yn is such a beautiful person inside out Taehyung, she has been broken for so long and she is finally learning to be happy. She finally is getting everything she deserves and I don't think I am someone she deserves. Not yet at least.
Her feelings are so raw and real . So pure just like her how can she even feel so much for me? What have I ever done to be worthy of it? What if one day she realises that I am not the one? And leave me. I …i won't be able to bear that tae…i don't think I have in me to ever go through it."
"Wow! No, I get it hyung . You are scared but you cannot think like this. You are thinking all in the wrong direction. Why are you being so pessimistic? Yn loves you heck she has been miserable in the last 3 days, I have seen it. I know you are being scared and it is understandable but you are doing wrong. "
"No taehyung.i..i think you are right. But I just want her to be with her family for now and get pampered with love like she deserves and maybe the distance will give her the time to think if i am really worthy of her or if all she has is gratefulness because she lived with me. Ever after that if she thinks the same about me then …"
" Yn?" Taehyung interrupted him.
Namjoon froze when he found you standing just beside him. He was so engrossed in speaking that he didn't even notice when you walked in.
"Y-"
*Slap*
You didn't realise when you hit him but you didn't want to hear anything. You were too angry to hear a single word he had to say.
"Don't! You fucking asshole. Do you even know how hard it was for me to tell you my feelings that day huh? I …had this small hope in me that maybe…maybe I am not the only one. You are so selfish Namjoon. You can doubt yourself all you want but don't you dare to doubt my love okay! You have no right."
You gave him a look, he could read all the hurt and disappointment clear in your misty eyes . Never in his life he had felt this guilty, it was enough for him to realise how stupid he was acting but it wasn't entirely his fault too. He had no intention to hurt you but it was his own insecurities which made him do that.
Without saying anymore words you exited the room giving him one last look. Namjoon slumped down on his chair, gripping his hair.
"Th..this is what I was scared of tae..i didn't want to disappoint her i didn't want to hurt her but that's exactly what I did…i..I..no i can't lose her ! I won't lose her . Not again. I will go talk to her. I will convince her I will beg her. She needs to know what I feel. I..i..gotta go tae"
Taehyung was happy when Namjoon ran out without wasting time. All he hoped was for you to forgive Namjoon and everything goes well between you both.
First stop Namjoon made was Yun's room,he didn't barge in, instead he peeked from the small glass but you weren't there. It was just Yun and chimchim or maybe timtim whatever his name was , Namjoon couldn't care less.
He was mindlessly running in the corridor bumping into people trying to find you until a nurse who attended Yun informed him that she saw you going on the rooftop. Without wasting a second he ran to the 6th floor not even bothering to wait for the lift
Namjoon was panting hard by the time he made it to the rooftop but the moment he saw you his fatigue vanished into thin air. You were sitting on an abandoned bench crying your eyes out watching the blue sky above you.
He spent no time in running to your side and engulfing you in a big warm hug, he instantly felt you struggling against him to get out of the hug but he didn't let you instead he just held you tighter.
"I am sorry. Yn . I am so sorry for doing that to you, for causing you so much pain. You are right i am a fucking asshole maybe my it's true that i really don't deserve you but i don't care. I want you no i need you yn. I was being foolish, I know . I ..i am so sorry." He sobbed, pouring his heart out.
"No, leave me! You are bad. You are mean , you are selfish. You let me go through everything, all that anxiousness, nervousness and then heartbreak. I hate you Namjoon, I hate you for making me feel that way" You too sobbed but contrary to your words you hugged him tighter . Laying your head against his chest feeling his rapid heartbeat. It makes you calmer. It felt serene.
"I am so sorry Yn. I.. don't even know what to say. When you confessed out of nowhere it completely caught me off guard and your words somehow made me feel that I am not worthy of them. It was my self doubt that made me question my own feelings. I couldn't gather the courage to reply to you but i realised how stupid my thoughts were.
If there is anything in this world I am most certain about is that my feelings are completely sincere. I am certain that if there is any woman in this world that I want to raise my child with it's you. If there is any woman I trust enough to call her mine it's you . If there is any woman I want to start my family with, it's you. It's only and only you Yn. You are the woman who changed me for the best. Who taught me how beautiful and amazing life is, you taught me how beautiful it is to have a family. You taught me what real love is without any interest and selfishness. You taught me how wrong I had been living my life.
I..i love you Yn. More than I have ever loved anyone, more than I can ever love anyone. You make me happy. You make me home. I love you so much"
You finally detached yourself from him. This Namjoon In front of you wasn't the famous strict businessman the world knew. He was the real Namjoon that he had hid under several layers for the world to see. The one with flaws and imperfections. The one with fears and insecurities. And here he was putting his raw vulnerable side completely in front of you for you to embrace. The Namjoon you had fallen in love with.
You gently cupped his face before placing your pink lips on his plump ones completely catching him off guard.
It took him a few seconds to grasp the situation before he grabbed you by your waist pulling you completely into his chest intensifying the kiss.
Your hands made their way to his neck while his one hand was firm on your waist and he used the other to cup your cheeks.
It was nothing intense or rough, instead it was slow and sweet. Both of you took your time savouring the taste of each other. Drowning yourselves into each other. It was an euphoric feeling for the both of you, nothing you had ever experienced.
After a few minutes you both finally parted but still maintaining the same closeness, your forehead against his.
"I love you too Joon. And never , never ever doubt yourself. You are everything and more I could ever wish for."
"Thank you , thank you love, for believing in me. I feel like the luckiest person on planet" he said before attaching his lips to your once again.
~~~
And finally the ship has sailed
♡(> ਊ <)♡
I am thinking of ending the book in just one more chapter but i want your opinion too. Should I add a few more chapter . Maybe 2-3 ?!
Anyway I really hope you loved this chapter cause I did and i fucking cried writing this.
Make sure to comment your opinions and vote .
Take care of yourself
Stay safe and healthy.
Love y'all.