Maeve
Despite Daniel's best attempts at begging , pleading, and literally trying to prevent me from leaving our shared room, I had to leave on a flight Sunday night back to London from the race in France to get the absolute final approval for my project to start my build. I was already on a high from placing P2 in the race, my best race result to date, and Daniel had asked me to be his girlfriend just at the beginning of the week. The team was doing well and I was winding down on my final time in school. It honestly felt like the P2 podium was simply the icing on the cake of the incredible week I was having in the current context of my life. Daniel and I making the next step in our relationship official had been the highlight.
Daniel knew that too and begged me to go straight to Austria with him. He wanted "Us and Schnitzel time" as he called it. It made me laugh, but it wouldn't stop me from going to school and taking care of what I needed to. With all of the work I had put into this, a final approval meant that the end was near. He understood and respected that, promising me a night out when I made it back. Christian also wanted me to come see him when I landed in Austria. That didn't take an idiot to figure out. Christian needed to know about what I was going to do next year. The truth was that I hadn't made a decision with my project taking focus since being on the back burner for nearly a month. Everything I had been working on, long sleepless study night's fueled by whatever energy drink I had nearby (typically a red bull courtesy of shipments from Daniel), the years of burning my eyes staring at the screen's of the data centers to figure out what would be the best for the car, and even now as I suffer through a shit engine lead to this moment. There was no way I was going to mess it up by worrying about something that wouldn't matter if I can't finish this.
Monday morning walking into school was terrifying with the weight of that on my shoulders. What next season looked like for me had to be pushed to the back of my mind as I had to focus on my presentation today. I had borrowed one of the loaner cars from the factory on Christian's insistence. Public transport wouldn't be running at the early and late hours I would be coming and going from the school. Yet at 6am on Monday when I pulled into the parking lot for the engineering building, there were plenty of cars already in the lot that normally saw just a handful of dedicated students and professors this time of day. The two overnight security officers were ticketing multiple cars as well, meaning they either didn't have parking passes or didn't go to school here. The Aston Martin entering the parking lot had obviously gained their attention from the task they had been on. One of them made a move to meet me as I parked the dark blue vehicle in a spot at the back of the lot.
"Morning Miss, do you attend this University?" The security guard asked as he walked up to me once I was out of my car.
"Yes, I'm an engineering student. I had to borrow a car this morning and didn't have a chance to grab my parking decal." I explained as I locked the door to the Aston Martin. The guard examined the car, a bit perplexed as it seemed at the car itself. He still sighed, looking back at me with an exasperation I couldn't place.
"May I see your School ID and Government ID?" I had never been asked that before when on school grounds. Confused, I still dug through my Red Bull backpack to show him both as they were situated in my wallet with most of my things from this past week as I didn't have time to change bags. He still eyed me curiously as he took the IDs.
"Ah," He cleared his throat, standing up a bit straighter as he handed them back after the recognition of my name," Miss, I'll issue you a parking pass before you go for the day, but I suggest contacting your professor before going into the building." He handed me the IDs back before digging the paper parking passes out of his side bag.
"Uh, I don't think he would be awake at this time. I was just prepping for a presentation I was supposed to be doing today before he comes in." The man handed me the paper pass before sighing again.
"Miss, I'll escort you into the building, but it seems there are a few people here looking for you."
The man waited for me to put my thing back in my bag before having me follow him to the building, or what I thought would be my building. Instead, he brought me to the adjoining building that had a hall attached to mine.
"Sir, I appreciate the help you're trying to give me, but I'm in the mechanical engineering building." He nodded as we walked.
"We've been briefed on your status here Miss Dragon. The entrance to the building is currently inaccessible. This is the best way to where you need to be today." He scanned us through a door I surely wouldn't have been able to open on my own. Yet, I was still confused about the situation.
"Oh. Are there renovations being done again? They just upgraded the doors in the building a few years ago..." I noted mostly to myself. They had actually been working on that project when I toured the campus for the first time.
"Actually, there's a group gathered in the entry way. We haven't asked them to leave yet." When we entered the main hall of my building, connected to the front entrance, I finally understood.
The motion sensors for the hall that were programmed to turn off after 20 minutes of inactivity came on, alerting the group at the front door that someone was there. They all turned and even in the bright lights of the hall I could see the flashes from cameras, along with the shouts of my name that came with it. My eyes widened as I realized what I had walked into, turning away from the group and further down the hall to where the presentation room was.
"How long has this been going on?" I asked the man calmly as I walked down the hall.
"Since last Monday. They aren't here on weekends and it varies from day to day. Looks like Mondays are the largest group." His eyes held an unspoken apology as he looked at me to politely respond to my question.
"And can they be removed from school grounds?" He nodded once as we reached the doors.
"We do when they become an issue. We haven't had the chance yet today."
I looked back down the hallway at the intrusion that I never thought would happen. The collection of people vying for my attention and hoping for a signature or photo. Or worse, something they can use against me depending on if they were just a fan or a journo. This was my worst nightmare, something I hoped would never happen. It seems that Daniel's outburst had given away my extracurriculars in the exact way I didn't want it to.
"They need to leave. I'll reach out to the team and ask them to release a statement in regards to trespassing on school grounds as well." the guard nodded.
"Whatever you'd like miss. I'll warn you that even when we ask them to leave, they seem to linger."
My mind swirled, they'd be there when I left. When I had no security or anyone to make sure that I would be safe, hundreds of people would descend upon me. There really was no telling what anyone's intentions were either. Thoughts of the worst case scenario came to mind, but I was quick to push those away as I stared down at the floor and refused to acknowledge the group of people.
"I understand. Would it be too much to ask for an escort to my car later?" He shook his head immediately.
"We'd be happy to assist. Just dial for campus security when you're ready to leave and someone will be here." I nodded and offered my thanks to the man before entering the presentation hall.
The presentation hall was large enough for a 300 person class. They did use it for classes, but on days like today it was used for dissertation presentations and defenses. The whole purpose of today was for me to make the argument that my hypothesis is true and demonstrate what steps I would take to prove it. That meant standing before my advisor and possibly a handful of other professors while they questioned everything about my life's work until I proved to them that I had put in the work to try and prove everything I thought was true.
I was well prepared for the presentation, coming with a barrage of research and supporting papers that point to why I had chosen my hypothesis. Yet, as I walked down the stairs to the desk and presentation area where someone was sitting on the phone, I felt like I was wrong. The distraction of this morning threw me off more than I'd like to admit.
"Good Morning Maeve..." My advisor sat in the front row with his legs crossed, making sure to greet me as I passed and he hung up his phone call.
"I wouldn't call it good, but it's morning alright..." he stared at me, a calculating stare that I had grown used to over the last two years.
"We are working on it. The dean and I are talking about what procedures we can put in place to prevent them from being here for much longer..."
I didn't respond, there was no need to. He could tell that I was obviously shaken by the crowd today. Anyone could have figured it out, but I had other things to worry about. Like the presentation for my final approval. He let me set up my laptop and get my slides ready while asking me minimal questions. It was just typical small talk and making sure everything was going well with myself.
Part of being my advisor was to make sure that I was doing ok mentally. Due to my particular arrangement, I was supposed to check in with him twice a week to discuss my work. The last month made that hard and despite him being aware of that, he wasn't able to check in with me as much as possible. I also didn't have the balls to tell him that I had tossed my research to the side in favor of making out with my best friend whenever I wasn't on track. That particular revelation was better locked away in my mental storage cabinet than blabbered to my school colleagues.
When the clock struck 7 on the dot, the hall doors opened to two of the other professors I knew from the program and three gentlemen I wasn't familiar with. They introduced themselves as professors from Oxford and Imperial College, surrounding universities with top engineering programs as well. With all that knowledge and skill in one room, they were eager to get down to business. They sat through nearly 90 minutes of my research and talked through every step of the process I had planned. That was me explaining everything from the pre build research, sourcing of materials, the build itself, the data collection and testing against a classic engine, and the results I expected and how they would prove my hypothesis.
From there, they moved to the questioning phase. You always hope that you'd done enough in your presentation that they wouldn't have too many of those questions. Yet, I stood in front of them for over two hours answering everything from why I chose the materials I did and if I would be applying my current work in the field to my research and how, to how I would be able to complete so much work on this project while still traveling for work.
A brief feeling of relief entered my system when my advisor stood and announced that he was more than pleased with my defense. He said he didn't need to be there for the discussion as he felt I was completely prepared for my work to begin. So we left the others in the hall to discuss my project while we left for a recess. He took the time to show me my office, a small room where I could spread out and document every step when I was home. We spent about an hour going over my schedule together to make sure that I could make this happen with my work. The blessing of the summer break made my life much easier for that alone, but that didn't fix the fact that I had to jet off to Austria in just a few days.
He used the rest of the day to go over my plans and schedule. After finally signing me up for time in the shop around 8 pm, I was given the go ahead to leave for the day. Tomorrow, I would be told whether or not I would be given the go ahead to start my project from the people that viewed my presentation today. I was hoping for a yes of course, but as I waited by the front door of the building for security to come by and escort me to my car I wasn't sure what I was going to do.
I underestimated the amount of people that would 'linger' as the guard had put it early in the morning. Lingering was the equivalent of a full crowd when I tried to enter or leave a track on a race week. The only difference here was that I didn't have the barricades, police officers, or team reps to prevent them from running in front of my car or banging on my window. They stood on the outskirts of the parking lot, waiting patiently, but yelling all the same as I left the area. Their actions were drastic, moving against the car as I slowly inched myself forward and into the street with some daring to follow. I couldn't accelerate though, for fear of hitting someone. My hands shook as I finally hit a street that I could move on without the fear of hitting one of the people that had been there waiting for me. They stood in my rearview mirror, still shouting my name, as I continued the trek back to MK at a speed that was surely not legal.
The worst part was that it happened again the next morning. Going in for my review and to hear if everything was approved and I had to spend over an hour just trying to get the 50 feet into the building with three security guards from the school. Despite the complete yes that was given to me, even with the ruckus I had caused on campus, I couldn't enjoy it. No part of me was ok with what was happening and instead I made the tough decision to not go in on Wednesday morning to set up all of my parts.
A single text from Daniel was the twig that broke the dam. All he said was that he missed me and he was excited for me to be back tonight. Being in his arms felt entirely more worth it than being forced to deal with the mass amount of paparazzi and fans that seemed to gather all hours of the day since I had been going back to school. I called the jet and asked if they could move up our flight time to within the next hour.
Of course I spent the entire plane ride crying and alone. With people swarming the school, I wouldn't be safe there. I didn't feel safe there. In fact, I felt like it was all a threat to more than just me. But I had final approval for my work and I needed to have it near completed by the end of the break. My options were to quit all together or build from home if they would allow me. That meant having to find all new places to machine pieces, clearing out a room or trying to rent garage space near me.
I was so upset by the time I made it to the hotel at two in the afternoon that I just wanted to get into bed and have Daniel hold me while I cried. Despite my best effort to dry my tears when I made it to the hotel, the looks everyone gave me told me that my eyes were still red and puffy. Anyone could've told you that I looked like I had been crying.
Which was only made worse by running into GP and Christian as we all made our way onto the elevator. They had clearly just come from the track.
"You're back a bit early? How was London?" Christian asked as the elevator doors closed. He looked over my disheveled appearance. Without the energy to do much else but cry, I hadn't changed since rolling out of bed. That left me in a pair of black joggers and a very old team hoodie from Daniel's 2014 season. My hair was in a messy bun and those red puffy eyes could've given away that I had an issue without the other context clues in my outfit.
"A nightmare. I don't want to talk about it right now," I told him as the elevator ascended just three floors up to the floor I was on," Can I stop by in the morning and talk to you about it?" He crossed his arms as the doors opened to my floor.
"Well, that makes it sound pretty serious," Christian and GP followed me out of the elevator, much to my dismay. The arms of my secret boyfriend were calling my name and I surely wasn't going to tell my team principal or Race Engineer that I just want to be held like a child.
"Well it kind of is, but I'd really just like to shower and think about some of my options. Could I just come by the office in the morning and talk about it? I think you'll be more excited for my misfortune anyways." Christian sighed and looked at GP. He shrugged, as if he had an opinion. I worked closer with GP than most of the people on our team though. Christian was silently asking his opinion in case it really was that serious.
"Ok, come by first thing. I know you have a very full day of press tomorrow." He gave me a soft pat on the shoulder.
"Perfect. Have a good night guys."I turned and started towards my door as they waited for the elevator to come back and take them to their actual floor.
If they were at the hotel, I was really hoping Daniel would be too. Mentally, I was prepared to tell Daniel what had happened. All I really wanted was to cry still before I had to sit down and figure out my options. Hopefully Daniel would understand.
Except the room was empty when I walked in. Daniel's backpack was on the couch and his things were all over the dining room table. He had clearly been working on something, but I was too tired to care. All I could do was drop my stuff by the door and sit on the couch with my arms wrapped around my legs. Tears streamed from my eyes as I sat on the couch facing the large windows that lead to the balcony here in Austria. I didn't cry often, if ever, but it currently felt like I was losing everything I worked towards in life. My research and the progress it had made was worthless. I was going to have to give up on the home stretch because people had no idea how privacy worked. Or I could keep going with ten times more challenges than I already had. I was already at a breaking point and I wasn't sure that I could handle anymore if I was already having episodes like I did after Monaco.
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A/N: I watched the race today and I can't help but feel for Carlos. The engine loss is heart breaking, but man was it scary as the flames started coming closer to the cockpit. Happy he is ok.
Also, can we all collectively agree that hearing Mclaren tell Daniel to hold position over the radio makes you irrationally angry? 😡 😤
Anyways, after this chapter I feel like I need to go back and make some changes to this story. The first few chapters are definitely missing a level of writing that I prefer to hold myself to and leaves a lot to be desired. Plus, great readers like ManuKatha keep letting me know about the errors in the different languages. Google Translate can only help so much I guess. 🥴
If I do decide to go back and rewrite/edit the first few chapters, I might skip a week or two of updates. Or I can do it slowly. What would everyone prefer? Let me know in a comment! 💜