I stepped into my room way after dark, flexing my hand as the pain really started to settle in. The dripping red lines had faded, and were now replaced by white, swollen lines.
"You were gone for a while," A tired voice called, and for a moment, I thought it was Cedric. I was hit with a sudden flash of a memory -- one that wasn't really forgotten, but was stowed away with dozens, hundreds of others, waiting for a moment to spring out at me.
Cedric had said I was gone for a while -- this had been during my third year at Hogwarts, and it was in the dead of night. I'd come into the common room, and Cedric was standing there, hand on hip, looking vaguely threatening in his fuzzy pajama pants.
"Yeah," I had said, avoiding looking at Cedric. "What of it?"
"Well, it's late and you've got a test tomorrow. You shouldn't be sneaking around the castle when you have tests to take," Cedric had looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"I was with Draco, he was helping me study," I had said.
"No you weren't, because Draco's asleep in your room," Cedric was unimpressed.
"Yeah, I decided to take the scenic route to the common room, I left my, ah, chair," I cringed. I'd searched the room for something, anything, and had focused on a chair in the corner.
"Really?" Cedric gave me that motherly look, like he knew I was lying and wasn't pleased. "What do you need a chair for?"
"To sit in," I had sad.
Cedric stared at me for a long moment, then abruptly threw his arms into the air, "You know what? I quit. Take your chair and go to bed, I don't even want to know what you were doing, it's too late for me to care."
I dragged the chair back to my room, Cedric shuffling behind me to make sure I actually went to bed. I plopped the chair in a corner, sat on my bed, and stared up at Cedric.
"Are you good for your test tomorrow?" Cedric asked me after a moment. "If you need, I can study you."
I smiled, "You know what? That'd be great. I don't think I can fail another one of McGonagall's tests."
"Percy?" The voice, less tired and more concerned, echoed, and I blinked the image of Cedric's tired smile out of my eyes. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," I said, but my voice sounded strangely far away.
In less than a moment, the owner of the tired voice (I had to remind myself that it wasn't Cedric talking to me, it couldn't be Cedric) was standing in front of me. A hand was placed on my shoulder, and I told myself to look up, but my eyes didn't seem to move. They were stuck staring at a chair in the corner of the room. Cedric was there, asking me about the Draconifors Spell, making sure to whisper so that he wouldn't wake up Draco.
"Percy," The voice said calmly, knowingly. "Nugget is sleeping."
For a second, I was confused. Then my vision seemed to clear. Cedric wasn't in that chair -- but Nugget was. The Niffler was sitting in a dog bed that had been placed on the chair, dreaming away, unaware of the world around him.
"Yeah," I said, twisting the bracelet on my wrist. "Yeah."
I looked away from Nugget, and wasn't surprised to see Draco standing in front of me. His hand hadn't left my shoulder, and I got the message -- he was leaving what we did up to me. His eyes were tired, but awake, and they seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.
"I keep seeing him," I said quietly, "everywhere. I... I didn't know that when we came back I wouldn't be able to stop seeing him."
"I know the feeling," Draco said quietly. He was smiling sadly, and I knew he was telling the truth.
We stood there in silence for what felt like hours but was really only minutes. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms tightly around Draco, and he did the same to me, one hand resting on the back of my head. I wasn't crying at first, but before long my throat felt tight and my eyes seemed heavy. When had I last cried like this? I had cried when Cedric died -- I had cried a lot -- but had I cried like this? I don't think I did. I think that missing Cedric, the absence of Cedric, was a lot worse than the death of Cedric. The absence was a hole, a black hole, and it seemed to be sucking in all the good feelings I'd experienced with Cedric and leaving me only with a feeling of loneliness. His death had been a punch, sudden and painful but it wasn't as bad as the bruise it left behind.
"I miss him," I sobbed, and I don't think Draco could actually understand what I was saying, but I said it anyway. I said it over and over again, in a dozen or so different ways, and with every word Draco held me tighter, whispering comfort into my ear as he pushed his fingers through my hair.
Draco guided me to the bed, and helped me lie down. At that point, I wasn't even crying anymore, just gasping for breath.
Draco didn't tell me to calm down, or to try to fall asleep. He just held me as I cried, as I hitched for breath, and I think that meant more to me than anything. He let me let it out, and I woke up feeling less sad than I had in a long time.
I wrote this chapter on my chromebook, so if there's any formatting errors, it can probably be credited to that. We had a chemistry quiz today, and I did not do good. We also had a math quiz, and I think I did good, because I compared answers with a friend. My grandfather has been away for a while, seeing the sights and stuff, and he's coming back on Sunday. I'm excited. I missed him. A friend of mine apparently threw up in his class today, blocking the exit. Funny. There's been a nasty flu spreading around the area so he'll probably be away for a while.
Anyway, I hope you guys have had an amazing Friday, and I'll see you on Sunday CT. Love ya!