~A
"It was the only way out." He gulped as he spoke those words, for the first time ever showcasing genuine emotion. But his words made absolutely zero sense to me.
"Of what?" I scoffed, unsure if I should believe him at all. His gaze hardened once again, eyebrows creased together.
"A life I never wanted."
Well, look at that. I could relate to something he said for once.
His stare was directed to the ground, avoiding mine. The anger in his tone was clear, but it wasn't directed to me like it usually would be. Deeply interested, I got off the bed and ignored the stabbing pain in my feet from the heels as I cautiously approached him.
"What kind of life?" He looked up as I moved closer, eyebrows remaining scrunched and creasing his forehead. His face wasn't as red as before, but his skin still glistened with sweat. Huffing out a chuckle, he shook his head.
"Nice try. But I'm not gonna tell you about my past so easily." He mused, lips curled into a smirk. He was probably the most stubborn person I have met. But maybe, just maybe I could try and finesse him into letting me in to his secrets. I stood right in front of him, breathing in deeply as I placed my hands flat onto his chest, smoothing my palms over it. I looked up at him through my long eyelashes, pouting my bottom lip just a bit.
"Not even a little bit?" I was very persuasive if I really wanted something. If I was able to crack through a person's defenses, I could have them wrapped around my finger. I guess I wasn't that different from that persona I've created after all. Scoffing as he saw right through my plan, he pushed me to step back by the hips and walked away to the chair where our coats were abandoned, digging through one of his pockets.
"You don't wanna know, and I'm not gonna share my life story with you just because you were a good fuck." He pulled out a red metal lighter and a pack of cigarettes, taking one out before the packet was tossed on the table, the singular cigarettes brought up to his mouth. I scoffed, watching his side profile as he lit the cigarette, taking in a puff of it before the smoke came out of his nostrils, the lighter tossed on the bed as he walked towards the window.
"Do you make it your mission to act like a mysterious ass? You think this is gonna appeal to me more?" I crossed my arms, watching him intently as he creaked the window open just barely, a chill running down my spine at the crisp night air sneaking into the room. He flicked the ash of the cigarette outside before taking another drag, a stream of smoke escaping his parted lips.
"No, but you're still here when you were about to leave. Seems like it's working." He so cockily smirked, I forgot all about how good he was making me feel just a few minutes ago. Completely aggravated, I grabbed my bag and yanked my coat off the chair. His coat that was tossed over mine fell to the floor, with a louder thud than what I expected from the plush fabric.
"I was just leaving." I glared at him, not even bothering actually putting the coat on. Another puff of the cigarette, accompanied with an obnoxious eyeroll.
"Good. Don't let the door hit you on the way out." He huffed, looking out the window.
"You don't have to be rude." I glared at him, though he didn't bother looking back at me as he chuckled to himself.
"I'm not, princess. You got what you wanted, didn't you? Are you gonna pay me as well?" His tone was so harsh, so bitter, like he had any right to be mad over this, like that was not what he wanted, what he surely has done countless times.
"Bastard." I finally snarled, unable to hold myself back. With not as much as another glance at him, I opened the door and walked out, making sure to slam it behind me.
I made a mistake.
A horrible, regrettable, unchangeable mistake that I'll never forgive myself for. I stupidly, so stupidly gave into the temptation, gave into him and granted him the satisfaction to know that he had won. His games worked on me, because he got exactly what he wanted and I handed it to him on a silver platter. I allowed my carnal desires to get the best of me, clouding my logic and common sense.
But at least I had the one taste I was so desperate for. At least now I'd finally be able to stop thinking about him. Now that I knew what it was like to have sex with him, I could finally stop fantasizing about it. About him.
And I thankfully dreamt of nothing that night.
•••
Once again, I was dreading the moment I'd have to face him. Our first out of two shows in Moscow was set to begin in barely half an hour. I had my back turned towards Niall the entire time during soundcheck, and I barely got to hear him say anything. I couldn't believe I let myself fall into his trap. I refused to admit I did and just like countless other problems, I chose to just ignore it.
Healthy, I know.
I was so, so relieved I had the dressing room to myself before the show, even if it would be for such a short amount of time. I was already prepared for the show, only needing to change while the band were dealing with some sound problem I wasn't involved with. I asked Louis to have the dressing room for a while, and he thankfully agreed to let me.
I skimmed through the options for tonight's outfit hung on a rack, debating between black vinyl pants with a bralette or a satin ultraviolet bodycon dress. There was a knock on the door, to which I mindlessly answered to as I held both outfits up on each hand from the hangers, examining them.
"Go with the dress." The deep, gruff voice seemed to bounce off the walls, sending a shudder through me. I whipped my head behind me to find the person I instantly recognised the voice of, but definitely didn't expect would be the one that had entered the room.
"I see you learned how to knock." It took everything in me to come off unbothered, emotionless and completely ignorant of Niall's presence.
"I'm not as much of a brute as you paint me to be, sweetheart." He chuckled, arms crossed and legs spread in a steady, intimidating stance I was all too familiar with. Scoffing, I turned back to the clothes I was holding and looked them over once more.
"You were very much being a brute last time I remember."
"You weren't being that easy to deal with yourself." I could hear the amusement laced in his tone, completely contrasting the harshness in which he treated me with last night. And that complete shift in his attitude was incredibly frustrating.
"What do you want?" I spoke as emotionlessly as possible, my eye suddenly gravitating towards the dress. But I internally scolded myself that I did so, as if I wanted to please him by choosing his suggestion. I placed both outfits back on the rack and turned around, wearily watching him as he smirked, stuffing his hand into the pocket of his very well fitted plaid grey slacks.
"Thought you might want these back." He held up a piece of fabric, my eyes following his movement as I attempted to examine the blue lace he was proudly holding, recognition suddenly dawning on me as I lunged towards him, covering the short distance with long strides.
"Give it!" I snapped, reaching for it before he pulled his hand back, getting it out of my grasp. I left his room so enraged last night, I didn't even realised I had left my underwear back.
"Not so fast, princess. What do I get in return?" I swear I growled, boiling in anger as I glared up at him, cursing my genetics for not making me tall enough to be able to reach his hand as he kept it high in the air.
"Are you fucking serious right now? You're trying to bargain giving me my panties back?" The slight smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth was so tempting. Tempting to slap him right across the face that is.
"It's a fun little souvenir. I'd wanna get something in return if I were to give it up." Victory was written all over his face, a hint of playfulness in his tone that severely contrasted the cold and unwelcoming way he usually spoke in.
"And what is it that you want?" I scoffed at him, crossing my arms over my chest. The smile vanished from his face, his stare suddenly becoming intimidating, almost harsh. The piece of fabric in his hand was dropped to the floor and I stared in confusion as he took a step closer, towering over me.
"You." With a singular word as his response, his arms wrapped around my waist. I yelped as he lifted me up, my eyes wide from both his actions and his words.
"Put me down!" I demanded, though I was clinging onto him with my arms around his neck in fear of falling backwards.
"As you wish." He chuckled, sitting me up on the vanity table, the mirror pressing to my back as I pushed myself away from his chest. His hands forced my knees apart, giving him the space to stand between my legs.
"You must be out of your mind if you think I'll allow for anything to happen between us again." I bitterly laughed, though it was short lived by the sharp pull on my hips, forcing me closer to the edge of the white wooden table. My hands pressed to his chest, his breath fanning over my face as I looked up. His mouth was slightly parted as he stared down at me, blinking slowly as his coarse fingertips grazed my jaw. The shudder running down my spine betrayed me, showing him exactly how affected just a simple touch had me. He licked his lips, wetting them as his hand moved lower down my neck. I gasped the second his fingers wrapped around my throat, putting pressure right under my jaw and tilting my head to him.
"Stop trying to fight this, Lex. Stop trying to pretend you don't want me, need me to take care of you like I did last night. You were moaning too much to claim you didn't like it, even if you practically ran away after." He whispered into the shell of my ear. The black T-shirt covering his chest was soft as I fisted it in my hands.
My mind was screaming at me. Push him away. Get out of there. It's not worth it. He doesn't deserve it. But my body was screaming at him. Touch me. Use me. Pull me to your chest and fuck me until I can't breathe.
And by how I didn't stop him when he practically attacked my neck, I knew my body had won.
My ankles locked behind his back, pulling him closer as he simultaneously wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight against his chest while sucking at the pulse point of my neck. My body betrayed me once more when I whimpered, giving him the confidence boost he needed to keep going.
This shouldn't be happening. It was only a one time thing. He had already proven to me once that I'd regret it after, so why couldn't my body just cooperate with my brain?
"We said it would only happen once." I whispered as his mouth had moved lower, nipping at the skin right above my collarbone. A harsh suck and a swipe of his tongue over the burning skin made my stomach tighten. He pulled away just enough to face me, his hot, minty breath fanning over my mouth. I had been around him long enough to notice he always chewed a mint gum after smoking.
"No. You said it. I never agreed to it." His hands, cold and calloused, slipped under my oversized T-shirt for direct contact with my skin. And just like a flaming spark lighting a wooden log on fire, his touch ignited me whole. He leaned closer, once again going against my wishes and making an attempt to capture my lips. Expecting it, I turned my head to the side and pulled back, denying him for what felt like the tenth time already. His persistence to get me to cave was remarkable, but it wouldn't work.
I had been sleeping with Harry for almost two years and hadn't kissed him once. Niall wouldn't be any different.
"You didn't oppose to it either." I pointed out, managing to find a smart little loophole that had him pulling back, ignoring my denial as he scrunched his eyebrows, a crease now between them. A silent couple of second ticked by, his fingertips pressing on my skin and his cobalt blue eyes staring into mine.
"You don't want me to fuck you? Fine. There's other ways I can have my fun with you." I stared at him flabbergasted, but yelped once one of his arms was wrapped around my waist to pull me up from the table, his free hand pulling at my leggings. My mouth fell agape at the shock, one of my hands pressing on the surface below me to steady me as he help me up. He smirked, realising I wasn't stopping him. And I couldn't, too mesmerized by the stormy blue of his eyes, the rosiness of his cheeks as he dropped to his knees in front of me, pulling my leggings down my legs. He looked down for a split second, untying the strings of my converse to take my shoes off before his gaze returned to me, my leggings sliding from my legs and chucked to the floor.
"Want me to stop, sweetheart?" He smirked, his lips brushing over my inner thigh ever so slightly, but enough to create goosebumps on my skin. He noticed, glancing down at my leg before bringing his hands under my knees. Struggling to control my breathing, I bit my lip as I watched his palms running flat up my legs, reaching for my underwear. He tugged at the sides of it just barely, waiting, anticipating the moment I'd give in.
He wanted to do it? Very well. He could go ahead, as long as it was on my terms.
"Oh, pretty boy. So sure of yourself, aren't you? Think you can make me cum with just your mouth?" I wasn't doubting that he could, but I knew how much harder a man that was just provoked would work to prove himself. He was no different than any other cocky, overly confident lover that claimed he was the best a woman could ever have. He chuckled at my challenge, tugging at the sides of my underwear more. I lifted my hips enough for him to slide them down, bringing them down my legs and tossing them next to me on the table before placing my legs back over his shoulders.
"I know I can. Like I knew you'd let me do it once I showed you I was willing to work for it." Holding onto both my knees, he began leaving light kisses on my inner thighs, switching every few seconds.
"You know I like bossing you around." I struggled keeping my voice steady, determined and strong. But it was working. His kisses travelled higher, the pressure of his sucking increasing more and more with each one.
"And yet I have you exactly where I want you, your legs around my neck, your wet pussy right in front of my mouth, waiting for me, begging me to devour it." My stomach clenched at his words, the rising heat between my legs doubling in an instant.
"Be a good boy then and do it." His eyes shot up to me in pure shock, one that put a wide grin on my face. I pouted, bringing my hand to his cheek and stroking it with my thumb.
"What's wrong? You thought you were the only dominant one in this room?" I tilted my head, the glint in his eyes not telling me how he felt about the situation. I had trouble dismissing the slight worry in me that rose from his silence.
I knew some men struggled with submitting to a woman. That was the main reason why I stuck with Harry for so long. Because we had found the perfect balance. There were times where I'd give myself up completely, letting him do everything and anything he wanted. But he'd always repay me, giving me the room I needed to showcase the dominance I was able of possessing and following my orders.
But I couldn't tell if Niall would be willing to do that. It was a test, what I told him. An attempt to be able to tell if he had the potential to do the same. If I were to let anything happen again, I wanted to be assured I could get what I want as well, and not just go along to what he wanted. That was part of the reason why I didn't wanna find myself in a situation like that with him, because I was nervous he'd get freaked out by it and start looking at me differently. But maybe, deep down, I was trying to scare him away in hopes that he'd give up and leave me alone.
He rose from the ground, letting my legs fall to his sides as he brought his face level to mine. In confusion and anxiousness, I watched the unreadable expression on his flustered face. His hands rose to my cheeks, both thumbs stroking my cheekbones.
"Such a sweet, innocent face малышка. Yet here you are, claiming you can dominate me." He spoke in a challenging, almost bitter tone as if he didn't think it was possible. I wanted to laugh at his face, but decided to hold back. Instead, I reached my hand up to the nape of his neck, softly carding my fingers through his hair before enclosing my fist, pulling on it to tilt his head back. He grunted, jaw clenching as he kept his eyes on me.
"I know I can. The question is, are you willing to drop your ego and be my good little pet?" His breathing doubled. I could tell by how much his chest started heaving. But I was still unable to tell what was going through his mind. Worst of all, I didn't know what I wanted to happen. Just the image of him helpless, begging for me could send me into a frenzy. But at the same time, I had spent almost an hour last night convincing myself to never let him near me ever again. All of that was already shattered.
"I'll make you a deal." His lips curled into a smirk. Curious, I released the firm grip on his hair and allowed him to tilt his head back down. The pads of his fingers danced along my stomach, drawing lazy patterns before moving lower. Gasping, I tugged on his hair again as he dipped two fingers inside me, his mouth parting once he felt how wet I already was.
"You let me come to your room tonight, allow me to do to you all the things I didn't get to do last night." His fingers pumped into me ever so slightly, teasing me in an effort to make me give in. His thumb brushed over my clit, already swollen and pulsing. The contact had my hips jerking into his hand, my breathing heavy.
"What do I get out of this?" I tried to keep my voice harsh, steady and even. I wasn't that successful. He chuckled, curling his fingers to make me whimper.
"Next time, I promise to let you dominate me." His offer was tempting, so unbelievably tempting it had my heart pounding. As I pondered over it, I watched him take his fingers out of me and bring them up to his mouth, sucking my arousal off and humming at the taste before kneeling down once again. His hands pushed at my inner thighs, forcing me to spread my legs even more.
"How can I be sure you'll live up to that promise? You could very well get what you want and never come near me again." I didn't tear my gaze from him not even for a split second, shuddering once he blew cool air to my soaked folds.
"You're just gonna have to take my word for it then." He smirked, but didn't give me time to protest before his mouth was on me, tongue separating my folds before licking a long stripe between them, drawing it up to my clit before circling it. And I sat there, dazed and breathless as I watched him eat me out, doing a damn good job at it too.
I tried, really tried not making too much noise. Praying no one walked past the door and lingered long enough to catch any sound. My hand didn't let go of his hair, running through the soft strands at the top of his head and occasionally tugging at it when he'd do something I liked. He'd alternate between various things, testing them out.
He'd suck harshly on my clit, even nibbling on it with his teeth just barely before he'd flatten his tongue against me, shaking his head and humming to create vibrations. That would earn him a tug on his hair, urging him to repeat it. And each time, I'd struggle more with keeping whimpers and moans from being too loud. But when his tongue pushed inside me, all my efforts proved useless. I rolled my head back, breaking the eye contact for the first time and clutched my legs on either side of his head, only for him to force them apart again.
"Keep them spread, princess." His words only sent more vibrations to me, making me shudder.
"I wouldn't be making any demands if I were you. There's only ten minutes left before the show." I whispered, hoping it would be enough time for me to get ready and wishing my hair and makeup wouldn't be ruined by the end of this. He didn't respond to my taunt, instead focusing even more on achieving his goal. His fingertips were digging harshly into my thighs, but I've long ago discovered I liked that sort of stinging pain. He looked up at me, watching me intently as he flattened his tongue yet again and applied pressure with it, humming before his tongue darted from side to side quickly, flicking my clit every single time. I whimpered, pulling on his hair harshly as I shivered, my toes curling as I was close to reaching the edge.
"Shit, like that Niall. I'm gonna cum." I warned, hoping he wouldn't stop for even a split second. I was so close, my heart beating out of my chest and my skin erupting in flames, legs shaking and stomach so tight, I felt like it would burst like a balloon any second. He didn't stop, instead pressing his mouth even closer to me, his tongue tirelessly flicking my clit until I couldn't take it anymore. A blast of radioactive energy shooting through me as I reached my high. I slammed my fist on the table next to me, arching my back as the back of my head pressed to the mirror behind me. I continuously cursed, trying to yank his head away from me. He didn't let me, forcing me to ride out my orgasm as he continued to suck on my folds. Slowing down once he was sure I was beginning to come down from my orgasm, he left tiny, gingerly kisses all around my clit before rising from the ground.
My breathing was not as loud, but remained uneven as I fixed my eyes on his. With a proud smile on his wet, glistening lips, he stood between my legs and gently rubbed my thighs as my legs finally stopped shaking. He glanced behind him to the wall mounted clock before looking back at me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"With six minutes to spare." He winked, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I pushed him back before he got any closer, jumping off the table once I had the space to do so.
"Don't look so proud of yourself. It was the least you could do to please a woman." I scoffed, checking over my thankfully salvaged hair and makeup on the mirror before taking my underwear from the table, picking up the other pair from the floor as well and going to my bag. I threw them inside and took out a clean thong, one that would not show any lines whatever I chose to wear.
"Let me come over after the show, and I'll show you what else I can do." He came to stand behind me once I had the fresh pair of underwear on, his fingers toying with the hem of my long shirt.
"You're very sure of yourself." I chuckled bitterly, but I was more focused on what his plan was as he held the bottom of the shirt with both hands.
"Have I let you down so far? Arms up." Not a request, but a primal command. And I stupidly listened.
"Good girl." He cooed, taking the shirt off of me. I didn't know what to respond to him, because he truthfully hadn't let me down yet. I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't curious to meet his completely dominant side. And by the way the praise sounded from his gruff voice, I could tell I was going to like it.
No matter how much I liked being in control, I loved being dominated. Harry tried, so many times. Bless him. And he was good at it. His low voice and intense gaze along with his tattoo covered chest working in his favour to make him look intimidating. But I just couldn't take him seriously. Not when I've seen him cry to his mother because he dropped his ice cream. Granted, he was eight at the time. But maybe the fact that I knew him from such a young age was the problem.
"Again with no bra, princess? Such a dirty little minx." Niall chuckled into my ear, his breath sending shivers through me.
What's wrong with me? I literally had an orgasm a minute ago.
Yet, I remained frozen in place as I watched him make his way to the hanger with the outfits I had been contemplating between, picking out the ultraviolet dress and unzipping the short zipper on the side as he walked back to me. I glanced down, seeing the slight bulge in his trousers that was begging to be touched and I found myself feeling frustrated we had almost no time left. I hadn't gotten to touch him yet, taste him, feel him throb in my mouth and hands as he crumbled in pleasure. And I was yearning for it so bad.
He didn't even need to say anything, just raise his eyebrows once he was stood in front of me and I understood he was waiting for me to raise my arms again. So I did, and I shivered as he pulled the cool, silky material over my head, pulling it down my bare torso until the fabric fell over my body on its own, landing where it was supposed to go and reaching mid thigh. With a hand on my waist, he sharply turned me around and pulled me to his chest, using his other hand to brush my hair over one shoulder.
"You know those piercings are visible from this fabric?" He whispered into my ear, his hands landing on the zipper as he pulled it up, making the dress feel more snug than before. I didn't mind. I liked the soft material pressing on my skin and I'd grown to be comfortable in my curvy figure to wanna show it off.
"I know." I simply whispered back, clenching my jaw once his arms wrapped around my waist, his chin on my bare shoulder save for the thin strap of the dress as he pressed his chest to my back.
"Were you gonna wear it if I hadn't come here anyway? To tease me? Make me have to watch you all night on stage in that?"
"Maybe." I smirked to myself, finding odd relief to the fact that he'd be affected by this, by me wearing such a revealing dress so close to him, without him even being able to touch me. The bulge that barely rubbed against my ass confirming just that. He lowly grunted at my words, tightening his grip around me.
"You're fucking insatiable, love." His lips brushed over my shoulder, but I pulled his hands off of me and stepped out of his grip before we got distracted.
"What are you gonna do about that?" I jerked my chin towards his crotch, digging through my vanity bag to reapply my nude lipstick. He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pocket.
"Won't be the first time I do a show with a boner because of you." He barely smiled, just a tinge of a playful tone evident as he looked at me through the reflection. I halted for a split second at his words, trying to process them before I continued getting ready.
"Have fun with that, then." I spoke as emotionlessly as possible, hearing him chuckle. I was about to tell him to leave when there was a knock on the door, which had me completely mortified. I didn't even get to answer before it swung open, Louis and Calum prancing into the room.
"We're ready for the sho-" Louis cut himself off instantly once he saw Niall, thankfully a good ten steps away from me.
Maybe I could cover this up.
"What are you doing here mate?" Calum cocked a thick dark eyebrow as him and Louis glanced at each other. Niall sucked on his teeth, haughtily looking at me as he let me respond to them. Clearing my throat, I placed the lipstick back in my bag and turned to Louis.
"I had an idea about a song and wanted his opinion on it."
"Right." Louis, sly as a fox and sharp as an own, dragged the word out and narrowed his eyes as he glanced between Niall and I.
"Whatever, the show starts in five and the band is already out there." Calum cut in, completely disinterested in whatever could be going on and waved his hand at me, ushering me to hurry. I nodded and quickly put my heels on as him and Niall left, leaving me with Louis. He didn't say a word as I grabbed my phone from the couch and rushed to him by the door, but I knew he could tell something was out of order by the look on his face.
⁜⁜⁜
That was... interesting...
Thanks for reading!
~M