Wednesday
Jungkook had to leave early this morning for a vocal recording session. Which left me nibbling on a boiled egg for breakfast at the table. I took a few sips of coffee to wash it down. Worries plague my mind.
Should I have said more to Jungkook last night? Or was it better that I didn't..? I feel conflicted, running between the two in my mind. A message tone pulls me away from my thoughts.
Jin: Hey Princess, wanna go on a little shopping trip with me today?
Jin: 🥰
Jia: Aw sure, sounds fun 😋
Jin: Get ready and meet me out the back in 20 😘
Jia: ☺️😘
I quickly went to change, throwing on a high waisted light blue skirt and a white skivvy, packed a handbag then headed downstairs.
It'd been a while since I'd been shopping and it would be a good way to distract myself from my troubles. As I hopped in the car Jin flashed me an eager smile.
"Jiaaa, gosh you look lovely." He leaned in, growling into my ear.
"Hmm, someone's enthusiastic," I giggled, "so, why the sudden shopping expedition?" Jin drew away.
"Why not? You don't like shopping?" He gave me a bold look before starting the car and reversing.
"No, no. I'm not complaining. Honestly, this is just what I needed." I gave a pleased sigh, stealing peeps at Jin's handsome face as we drove off towards the shopping district. On the drive Jin mentioned he'd the morning off so he wanted to make the most of it and spend it with me.
Finding parking was easy seeing as it was a weekday and most people were either at work or school. That also meant there would be less chance of anyone noticing Jin out in public.
The two of us set off down the street. It was filled with clothing shops and cute novelty food stores on both sides. The pavement that was the road had people walking up and down seeing as it wasn't meant for cars. Jin slipped his hand in mine as we strolled past crepe and waffle stalls, retro and Lolita clothing stores and trinkets too. I felt my heart skip a beat as I lay eyes on a shop with elegant dresses, perfectly poised in the display window.
"Finally see something you like?" Jin teased, giving a light squeeze to my hand.
"Maybe" I giggled. Next thing I know Jin is pulling me into the boutique with him.
"Wait," I squealed, being dragged like a doll behind him.
"C'mon, you're too slow," He smirked, letting go of my hand and pushing me further into the cute shop.
"Pfft. Whatever, I know you're more thrilled than I am right now. I haven't forgotten how much you love seeing me in a cute dress." I laughed.
"Absolutely. Who wouldn't? So, stop being bratty and help me find something sweet to dress you up in." Jin looked pleased with himself.
There wasn't much I could do to fight him there. So, I gave in and the two of us started flicking through the racks together, occasionally pulling out a dress to try on. Once we had picked out a few, pushed me eagerly into the changing stall.
The first one was cute. I liked the length, it gave romantic vibes.
The second was also light and elegant, it covered a bit more and the colour was pastel.
The third revealed the entire back. It fit snug though but was quite short.
As I stepped out to showcase each one, Jin showered me in ooh, ahh and woah. It was totally going to my head but it was so much fun.
Jin really did make me feel like the pet name he'd so fondly taken to calling me. Princess. I imagined this was what it'd be like if I had a normal boyfriend at my age. He'd take me out shopping at lovely places and we'd have lots of fun together, be inseparable, eat lots of delicious things together and-
"Jia, hurry up! I'm craving something sweet." Jin called, snapping me from my daydreaming. I quickly threw back on my normal clothes and went back out.
"Okay, so which one did you like the most?" I asked, holding up the selection to him. After thinking about it for a moment he grabbed all of them.
"Can't pick, they all look adorable." He grinned before turning and heading to the counter.
"Huh? Are you sure?" I rushed to follow him but he just brushed me off. I felt heat rise to me cheeks. He really is so sweet. I'll make sure I make it up to him later when we get some time alone.
The next place we stopped was at a crepe stall. Jin was just as keen as I was to try one. There were so many different toppings to choose from but we decided to keep it simple and go for chocolate banana, and strawberry n cream. There was a small secluded seating space by the side of the stall so we settled there to tuck in to our crepes.
Both were equally delectable in my opinion when we tasted them. I giggled as he pulled at my hand, insisting he needed another bite of mine to try to decide which was better. I let him, a small smile plastered to my face as I watched him chew and wait for his conclusion. But, in Jin fashion, he joked, telling me he couldn't pick.
We calmed down a bit as we got to the last bites. Jin glanced over to me.
"So, how's working at Reira's club?" He asked casually. I felt my stomach dip slightly at the mention of it.
"Yeah, it's going alright." I stayed perky, trying to avoid giving him any reason to think otherwise.
" Really?" He pressed, tilting his head questioningly. I felt my mood slip a little more.
"Hmm? Why wouldn't it be?" I answered his question with one of my own. Hoping he'd drop it. But, he didn't.
"Well, the reason I ask is because I heard an interesting rumour regarding you and Reira."
"What? Well it's not true. Whatever it is."
"Jia, you don't need to lie to me. If something happened you can tell me."
"What is this? Am I a fucking pity party to you or something? Nothing happened." I snapped back. Senses leave me.
"Throw the mask away already, you're not really planning to sit there and pretend like this." Jin was sturdy.
"I said nothing happened! You know what, screw this. I'm leaving." I stood up, I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want to listen to this. I didn't want to think about it.
As I went to walk off Jin stood, caught my wrist in his grip and spun me around. I gasp. Nearly knocked off my feet at the rush of his swift movements. Jin gazed down at me steadily. As he stepped closer I tried to back away but I felt my back hit the concrete pink wall of the crepe stall.
Jin towered over me as he closed the space between us, grip still firmly around my wrist, hand leaning against the wall, blocking any means of escape.
"Jia. Listen to me. Please." Strained emotion laced in his voice as he tried to reason with me. His gaze searched, reaching past the childish wall I'd built to pull me out from behind it, out in to the open. It became harder to breath.
"I'm sorry for being so hard on you, but you should've told me as soon as it happened. Why didn't you?" The pressure of keeping this to myself stung at my eyes. The conflict is eating away at me, even now. I stayed silent.
"Look, I'm going to have a talk with Reira-" I cut him off.
"No. I'll deal with it. I'm a big girl and I need to fight my own battles. As good as your intentions are, you can't protect me every time," let out a raspy breath, a flash of pain crossing Jin's eyes for a moment. I swallow thickly and go on, "and I should never have expected you to. That was my weakness. I need to be able to rely on myself or things will never change."
A moment of silence sat within the inches between us. My heart aches, the words spoken seemed to have Jin at a loss. I curse myself for wanting him to say something comforting, fight me back, tell me he can protect me, tell me I'm wrong. But, he doesn't.
He pulls away with a small sigh. The newly created distance caused me to let out a steady breath.
"Jin, can you please take me home?"
"Okay. But, I want you to promise me something."
"What is it?"
"Just, please, talk to me first before you do anything. The least I can do it try and stop you from doing something stupid."
"I promise." I lied.
"Okay, let's go home." He smiled but it wasn't happy.
Jin dropped me back off at the club. I gave him a tight hug and thanked him for today before I went back upstairs to put away my things. After that I had to get the club ready for opening again. Joon had texted me earlier in the day and I'd told him I'd take care of it.
Despite being busy and running around most of the night trying to make sure everything was running smoothly I couldn't help but be pulled back to the argument Jin and I had. I took a few shots with Mimi and Yu at the bar to try and distract myself. She seemed to be settling in perfectly which was a plus. While I chatted with them I could see how cute they were together, their light banter and flirting. It was adorable. I knew I shouldn't, but part of me envied the simplicity of their boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
The end of the night came. The dance floor once packed with sweaty bodies and loud hip hop that echoed against the walls of the basement fell silent and was replaced with the scuffle of staff cleaning and packing up.
I clocked off early and headed upstairs. With each step higher my heart weighed heavier. Maybe Jin was right. I needed to talk to someone. To make a change. The one person who might be able to make that happen was Joon. So, with a resolve to confront him tomorrow, I felt my head rest a little easier. Enough for me to be able to get some sleep.