Caitlin's POV
The last day of tryouts was yesterday and today the roster will be posted. We don't have any sort of practice, but we're getting all of our gear today if we make the team. To be honest, I am scared. I have been doing well at goalie but the coach is constantly having Peyton shoot at me and she scores every time. It's hard to be on the right mind set with her compared to the others.
If I don't make the team I feel like it will be because of Peyton but I wouldn't ever blame her. If I did then it shows the lack of control I have on my mental game, so therefore it would be my fault.
"Caitlin, your brother is getting ready to leave." Momma P hollers up the stairs.
I jump off my bed grabbing my phone as I head out. I go out the door and see my brother backing out of the driveway. I run towards the car waving my hands like an idiot.
He stops and I get in. "Seriously?"
"It was a harmless joke, Cat. Calm down." Logan laughs as he keeps backing out. "Does the roster coming out have you on edge or something?"
I buckle up. "Yeah I guess."
"For real Caitlin. What is up with you?"
I look at him as he keeps his eyes focused on the road. "What do you mean what is up with me? Do you not realize how many girls tried out? Not to mention that I switched positions, so sorry I'm a little on edge."
Logan glances at me and shakes his head. "You have been on edge or should I say different since you returned from camp. Both Momma P and J think that something happened out there and I'm starting to as well."
"Nothing happened. What possibly could happen at a soccer camp?"
***flashback***
The next day of camp went by so fast that it scared me. Tomorrow is the last day we are here which means Peyton and I go our separate ways.
Instead of normally meeting on the soccer field after camp, I decided to go straight to the showers. My thought process was that it gives us more time to hangout.
By the time I was done, I headed to the lounge and grabbed food but I didn't bother sitting. I walk out and look for Peyton.
I went by her cabin and she wasn't there. I went to the dock and she was lying there, looking up at the sky.
"Hey." I say softly as I approach her.
She turns her head in my direction and smiles. "Hey you. I thought you were upset or something."
I go over by her and lay down beside her turning my head towards hers. "I just wanted more time with you right now so I rushed off after we were done on the field."
"So you aren't overthinking what happened last night?"
I let a soft giggle out. "Trust me I have over thought it a million times but this beautiful blue eyed girl told me to live in the moment."
"I need to tell you something Caitlin." Peyton says with a serious tone causing my heart to stop. "I don't want to make you upset or have you run off but you need to know."
My eyes scan her face as my heart is hammering in my chest. "Don't tell me now. Tell me before we leave camp. After our games and before we leave we'll meet here."
Peyton opens her mouth to talk, but I stop her by placing my lips on hers.
"Please?" I whisper against her lips. "Just be here with me right now at this moment."
She nods her head as our lips connect once again. I bring my hand up to her cheek and then run it behind her head as it gets tangled in her hair.
Peyton places her hand on my bare hip as my shirt rises up a little. With every circle her thumb rubs into my skin the harder it is to control myself.
I feel her tongue brush my bottom lip and I open my mouth feeling her tongue collide with mine. When this happened for the first time last night I was in fear. Peyton says to live in the moment but I was scared. But with her near me everything seems to go away and it makes me hope this feeling never goes away.
I always thought that I was good at hiding my feelings, especially when I wasn't sure of them. Somehow Peyton looked at me and knew everything. Maybe I'm more obvious than I think or maybe she was taking a chance as well.
All we both have to do now is look at each other and see the chance we are both willing to take. Peyton moves her body closer and she takes my breath away.
**flashback over**
"Obviously something did." Logan pulls into the school parking lot. "Did you get bullied or something?"
I shake my head. "No I didn't. It's complicated."
I take a deep breath preparing myself to tell him. He is my brother and he has always been there. Also he might be more understanding because of our parents.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone."
He nods his head. "I wo..." His eyes go wide as his mouth hangs open. "Who is that?"
I look to see who he is staring at... Peyton. "She is new here. Don't you have a girlfriend?" Not a fan of him drooling over Peyton.
"No, we broke up before I went to football camp." He says nonchalantly. "Do you and the new girl get along? You should introduce me."
I punched him hard in the arm. "That isn't going to happen. I wouldn't waste my time if I were you."
"Why is something wrong with her?"
I shake my head. "No, but she plays soccer." I open the door and start getting out.
"What is that supposed to mean Cat?"
I smirk at his confusion. "Figure it out."
**flashback**
I couldn't tell you how long we have been kissing under the stars on the dock. I can say we would be still going if it wasn't for my stomach growling.
"Is someone hungry?" Peyton chuckles.
I hid my head into her neck. "I didn't eat. I brought food with me but one thing led to another and I'm pretty sure I kicked it in the lake."
Peyton presses her lips to the top of my head. "Let's go get food then."
"We can't. I'm pretty positive we are supposed to be in our cabins right now."
Both of us sit up and Peyton looks at her phone. "It's a little past one so I'm guessing you are right."
She hops to her feet and takes my hand to help me up. "So this is goodbye until tomorrow?"
"No. We are going to go get food." Peyton grabs my hand and I start following her.
We get into the lounge and of course I let my paranoid side show. "We are going to get in trouble!"
Peyton chuckles. "If we are lucky the door won't be locked."
"I doubt we will be luc..." I shake my head when Peyton opens the door. "Okay I stand corrected."
We walk back to the kitchen. I have to say I'm suspicious how Peyton seems to know her way around this kitchen so well.
"Do you break in here often?"
She pulls bread and lunch meat out. "Maybe."
"Can I ask you something without you freaking out on me?"
Peyton arches a brow. "Usually when someone says that whatever they are about to ask causes the person to freak out, so you're practically setting me up for failure, but go for it."
She is right about that. "Why won't you eat in front of people? I never see you in here and I'm almost positive that you don't have an eating disorder unless you do and I apologize for being insensitive."
She finishes making a sandwich and hands me it and I notice she made herself one as well. She hops up on the counter as she bites in her food.
"I don't have a problem eating in front of people. As you can see I'm eating in front of you and being rude as I'm talking with food in my mouth." She can be witty. "The reason I'm not in the lounge with everyone else is because I don't want to be. Everyone at camp always tries to pry into your personal life and I don't want to talk about it. The basic questions are usually do you have a brother or sister. How are your parents?"
Now that she explains it makes sense. "So am I the only exception?" I smirk as I take a couple of steps towards her, putting me in between her dangling legs.
"Yes, so you better feel special." She breaks off a piece of bread and throws it at my face.
"So I have another question." I see her playfully roll her eyes. "Am I the first girl you kissed?"
"No." She grabs my hands and pulls me into the counter as she kisses my forehead. "Caitlin I'm out and I'm fine with who I am."
"How did you come out? You are young. How are you so sure?"
"I play soccer Caitlin." She says, causing me to tilt my head. "Some people assume because they say lesbians play soccer and no I'm not saying I agree with stereotypes but this one happens to fit me."
I nod my head. "Were people cool with it?"
"For the most part. I slowly made hints at it when I was coming to terms with liking girls. I never officially said hey guys I'm gay, but when you tell people you have a girlfriend they kind of assume."
She is making it seem so easy. "Did your mom and sister know?"
Peyton tenses up but shakes her head. "Yes. My sister's best friend was my first girlfriend."
I try to lighten up the mood. "So you like older women?"
She giggles. "You could say that."
"When is your birthday?" I question.
"September 23. And when is yours?"
I give her a frown. "Not until March."
Peyton wraps her arms around my neck and leans in. "I guess you are the exception again."
I smile as we kiss. "So you like me?"
"Isn't it obvious? I wouldn't be kissing you if I didn't."
"What about tomorrow? We leave tomorrow." I point out and a rush of emotions start to hit as I feel my cheeks getting wet by my tears.
"Hey don't cry." Peyton whispers as she hops off the counter and wraps her arms around me. "We will see each other before we both take off at the dock. Promise?"
I nod my head. "I promise."
"I'm really glad you came to the dock that night. You helped bring the smile back to my face."
I kissed her cheek multiple times. "You have a cute smile."
"So do you." Peyton takes my bottom lip between hers. "It's getting really late... Do you think we should go back to our cabins?"
What if this is our last night together? What if I never see her again? Do I want to end it by saying goodnight and going our separate ways?
"Let's stay here." I say softly. "There are those beanbags out in the rec area."
"What if we get caught?"
"You didn't seem to care when we came in here to get food." I smirk. "We can set our phones to get up before anyone would come here."
Peyton kisses my lips. "Lead the way beautiful."
I hold on to Peyton's hand as we make our way through the dark. When I spot the beanbags I pull her in front of me and smile. "I'm not really tired."
Her eyes drop to my lips. "Me either."
Peyton pulls me in for a kiss but pulls away quickly after. She gently but forcefully pushes me down on the beanbag. She walked up to me slowly and I could feel my mouth watering. She runs her hand down to her or should I say my sweatshirt and pulls it over her head.
With only a tank top on, she looks down at me. "Is this okay?"
I nod my head as she runs her tank top up her body and over her head.
"You should put music on." I suggest so I can hear something other than my heartbeat as my eyes are glued to her body.
She slides her phone out of her pocket and presses a song before plopping her phone down as she makes her way down to me.
Oh I heard you were trouble and you heard I was trouble, but your name is a wave washing over me. No games just a slave to you totally cause I don't care about what they say about you Virgo and you don't care about what they say about me Virgo, but you know what they say about trouble.
I run my fingernails down Peyton's back as her body moves into mine causing a silent moan from my side. Peyton's hands find their way to the bottom of my shirt and start running them across my stomach. My skin is sensitive as her fingers brush across my skin causing me to giggle.
"Why are you laughing?" Peyton asks against my lips.
I move my lips down to her neck. "Because I'm ticklish."
"Oh you are?" Peyton sat up and I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth.
Peyton takes a hold of my sides and digs her fingernails in. "Please stop!" I beg as she moves her hands all over my stomach so I can't get a hold of them. "Please!"
I squirm uncontrollably and it ends up being to my advantage as Peyton's hands slip off of me and I take it as an opportunity to flip us over.
Our eyes lock and god does she look sexy. "Come here." She whispers as she pulls on my shirt to bring me to her.
Pull me down if you want to and I hope that you want to cause I want to be your girl and I wanna say it loud. You can show me where trouble goes tell me secrets only trouble knows cause you wanna be my girl and you wanna say it loud.
Peyton breaks away and her blue eyes stare at mine. "I know I probably gave the wrong impression with taking my shirt off, but do you mind if we stop and just be here with each other. I don't want us to go too far too fast and I honestly just want to hold you."
I want you to know that I've got your back even when the whole foundation seems cracked. Two punk kids up against the world ya trouble, there goes trouble. We could be king and queen of the moonlight. Two young lovers and when the moods right you hear me say 'I want you.
I wrap my arms around her bringing her into me. "I don't mind at all."
**flashback over**
I wait in line at the gym door as people are looking on the list to see if their names are on it. It was about my turn when I saw a bright smile coming from Peyton.
"Congrats." The word flew out of my mouth as she was walking by.
Peyton stops for a brief second but continues walking.
Suddenly I feel pressure on my shoulders. "Looks like the new girl doesn't like you." McKenna cuts in front of me as she goes up to the paper. "Looks like you and Patricia will have to mend whatever hate you have against each other because you are now teammates. Along with me of course."
"Peyton." I correct her before shoving her out of the way. I looked at the list and was ecstatic to see my name even if McKenna took a little of the excitement away by telling me. We start walking into the locker room. "I don't know why you assume I hate Peyton. I don't even know..."
I stop when the door to the locker room opens and Peyton is right there. "Hey Peppa!" McKenna greets her.
"My name is Peyton." The girl says before walking away from the door.
I look at McKenna shaking my head. "You act as if she has the most complicated name ever. Not to mention you were hanging out with her the other day. You would think you could get her name right."
"I look like a bitch don't I?"
I nod. "A bit."
The locker room for soccer is the same one as softball. Its lockers are open style like college locker rooms. It's in a U shape so everyone can sit in their locker area and see the whiteboard.
I start at one end and look up as I look for my name.
Lloyd... Martin... Chancellor.
I look at McKenna who has her hand up. "Looks like we are locker buddies."
I smack it before going to my locker. I look to my right as I'm facing the locker and look who is by me. James... Peyton.
I turn my head back into my locker as I try to avoid looking at the girl. Why did the coach do this? It's as if he knows.
I start going through my stuff in my locker. We have a couple of sets of practice gear with our names and numbers. I got the number I picked so I was happy about that.
This makes me think of the drama from the first day. "What number did you get?" I ask Peyton, catching her off guard.
"Fifteen." She answers.
I look around the locker room and see Katie giving Peyton the death glare. "This is bullshit." She mumbles.
Coach comes in and hands out some paper. "The second page is our schedule. On the away games it has who you are assigned to sit with. It's clear there is tension in this locker room. I can't force you to be friends outside soccer but I'll be damned if you bring this team down over high school drama."
I scan the schedule and notice we have a new person we sit with each game. Of course I look to see when I sit with Peyton. It's not until the third week of games but there was a star by it.
"What do the stars mean?" I question.
"Those are overnight tournaments. Your bus partner will also be your roommate."
I glance over at Peyton to see if she notices. She shows no sign of caring so I look away.
"All the gear in your locker you are welcome to take home besides practice gear and uniforms. I expect everyone here to be bright and early tomorrow. You're dismissed."
I look through all the stuff in my locker. We have new windbreaker jackets and pants. Also we have new sweatpants and sweatshirt.
Everyone was leaving the locker room and I sat there staring at my sweatshirt with my name and number on it.
**flashback**
The light shines through the window as a phone starts going off. I open my eyes and so does Peyton.
"Good morning." She says with a sleepy voice.
I smile and kiss her head. "We better get up before people come to start cooking breakfast."
She nods as we both stand up. My eyes trail down to her toned stomach. I guess Peyton never put her shirt back on but I'm not complaining.
"You are drooling." She nudges my shoulder before grabbing her tank and putting it on. "Here. This is yours."
I push her hand away that holds my sweatshirt. "Keep it. It can be a little way for you to remember me."
"I don't need a sweatshirt to remember you but thanks. It's comfy."
I giggle as we both wrap our arms around each other. "I don't want to say goodbye." Tears from last night come back. "I'm scared of what's going to happen when we leave."
Peyton pulls back and runs her thumbs under my eyes. I look into her blue ones and see they are watery as well. "Remember our promise. Meet me at the dock after the games. I have to tell you something."
"I will be there."
She leans in and kisses my lips softly. "Good. If you don't I might think this was all a joke to you."
I push my lip out. "This isn't a joke to me. What I feel for you is real."
"I know. This is real." She says softly. "We are real."
Peyton and I went hand in hand until we had to be separated to go to our bunks. She goes to let go but I pull her into me and give her another kiss. "I will see you soon."
I watch as she goes into her cabin. I make the walk to mine and go straight to my bunk. Unlike last time, people were already waking up and my absence didn't go unnoticed.
"So it's true." I hear a girl's voice. "You have been sneaking out to have sex with someone."
I turn to the girl with my eyebrows narrowed. "Not exactly, but nice try."
"Don't try to lie! I knew you were a lesbian from the second you walked in here."
My temper starts to flare. "I'm not a lesbian. I don't even like girls!"
"Says the girl who has a hickey on her neck that wasn't there yesterday."
I cover my neck with my hand. "It's not a hickey and you don't know what you are talking about."
"It doesn't take a blind person to put the pieces together." She laughs loudly. "I guess your name will go down as the camp slut this year. Congrats. At least you have that going for you. Next time you room with a bunch of girls you might want to warn them that you are a lesbian. You have probably been checking us all out."
Tell me this is a dream. Please say this girl isn't right in front of me saying this crap. "I'm not checking you guys out and I don't like girls so leave me alone!"
"You are lying. Kara told us all about you and your little girlfriend here."
My head whips in Kara's direction who is sitting on her bed smiling. "Oh you thought we were friends?" She smirks.
"Whatever she told you is a lie."
"What is Peyton going to think?" Kara stands up and walks over to the girl who is right in front of me. "That is her name right?"
I extend my arms and push her. "SHUT UP! Peyton is just a girl at this camp like you. None of you guys mean anything to me."
Kara takes a step forward and the other girl cuts her off. "She isn't worth it. Who knew being gay makes people so bitter."
"I'm not gay!" I shout.
"Okay sweetie." The girl says as she goes to the door. "Don't pretend like you aren't your parents mini me."
I sit on my bed and notice all the other girls in here staring at me or making comments to another. I fell back on my bed and stayed there until I had to go for the games. I didn't want today to come and now I can't wait to get this day over. I want to get away from here.
When I get out to the field, I notice some of the girls from my cabin looking at me laughing. I try to ignore it, I really do, but it's hard. I tried to focus on the game and surprisingly that turned out to be easy. I only let two people score in two games.
When the games were done, I went to my cabin to quickly pack. Before leaving the cabin, I write on a piece of paper and fold it up. I grab my backpack and my soccer bag before leaving this hell. I walk out to the dock and put the paper there with a heavy rock so it won't blow. I take a deep breath before turning and walking away.
"Sorry Peyton." I mumble before heading towards my bus.
When my bus finally shows up, I get on it and rest my head on the window. At least Peyton has my sweatshirt to remember me.
**Flashback over**
I sit there staring at the sweatshirt. Sweatshirt... "You knew!" I yell causing the only girl in the locker room to jump. "You knew you were going to be going to my school when I let you wear my sweatshirt."
Peyton nods. "Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It doesn't matter Caitlin." She says.
I stand up grabbing my bag. "How can you say it doesn't matter? You made a fool out of me!"
"I made a fool out of you?" She looks me dead in the eye. "I was REAL with you. I told you things and I trusted you! You told me what we had was real. You promised to meet me."
I shake my head. "Don't talk about this. I can't."
"I know you can't. I read that clearly in the note you left." Peyton rolls her eyes. "You couldn't even say goodbye. All I got was a note that was under a rock saying I can't do this. Sorry. Have a great life."
Peyton goes to leave the locker room but for some reason I grabbed her arm. "Peyton..."
"No, don't. You have no right."
"Peyton I'm sorry." I say softly.
She shakes her head. "No you aren't. You tricked me good at camp."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you lied to me, Caitlin." Her voice cracks. "You broke my heart."
I close my eyes. Those words... hurt. "I didn't plan on doing that." I opened my eyes and tears escaped.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because I feel bad." I state. "I shouldn't have let what happened this summer happen."
She shakes her head. "You are unbelievable."
"Please don't tell anyone." I cannot believe I just said that.
She tilts her head to the side. "Don't worry Caitlin. No one will ever know what happened at camp. I guess the saying 'what happens at camp stays at camp' is true."
Peyton goes to leave again, but I stop her once more. "We can be friends at least."
"We can be teammates." Peyton clarifies. "You and I will not be friends. I trusted you once and you made it a point to let me know that everything was a mistake."
Peyton goes to the door and I say one last thing. "It wasn't a mistake to me."
She looks back at me with tears flowing out of her eyes. We stare at each other for a minute before she turns to walk out.
I run my hands under my eyes to dry up the tears that escaped. I grab my bag once again and notice a piece of paper on the floor by Peyton's locker. I bend down and pick it up.
I scan the paper and notice it's her class schedule. We won't have any classes together, but we could...
I set the paper in the locker and head out the locker room. When I walk through the door I jump when I see McKenna. "What the hell?" I say grabbing my chest. "You gave me a heart attack."
"You have a lot of explaining to do." She folds her arms. "I heard."
Shit.