Sage watched the sun fall behind a frozen hill, as he did most evenings, and crafted a message in his head, one that would change his life forever. After a day full of affection from Taro, Sage wanted to spend every moment with him. He wanted to follow him when it was Taro's turn to scope the cottage grounds. He wanted to follow him when he took Sage's clothes to the laundry room, he wanted to follow him not only daily, but in life too. The thought of Taro Vinea living without him made Sage worry that he was running out of time. He had to make this relationship work between them, and that meant being brave.
How do I tell my family Something like this? Sage didn't want to just blurt it out, he had to craft his words carefully, so it didn't sound like he was unsure. They also had to know straight away about Taro Vinea. They won't like this, especially dad. Pride came first for the Greenthenors, it always had. They could be miserable behind closed doors, as long as the outside word envied everything they had and did. Sage couldn't live that way anymore. He chose Taro, not a crown of thorns.
Taro interrupted his thoughts by entering the room with freshly ironed pyjamas. The wooden door creaked painfully, yet Sage smiled, hoping Taro would always be the reason his thoughts were cut short. Stop it, you'll end up obsessed with him.
"What?" Taro asked, looking at his big grin.
"Nothing- Just ... I don't know- thinking." He cringed internally. Nice one Sage.
"Thinking about anyone in particular?"
"Maybe." Sage chewed his bottom lip. He allowed Taro into his life, more and more each day. He wanted his touch, his smile, his gaze, his flirting tongue all directed his way. Wanting a man's affection wasn't a fault in another man's life. But choosing to ignore it was a mistake that could cost him everything that could make him happy.
Taro hung Sage's pyjamas over the green leather desk chair and stopped right in front of him, so close that the tips of their noses touched. "The cook told me your dinner was almost ready."
"Do you want some water before we go down?" Sage asked, pursing his lips to hide just how much he enjoyed Taro holding his waist.
"Yes." Taro lifted a hand and turned his palm to face the ceiling. Little Ivy vines snaked around his hand. Sage watched, wide eyed as always. The small heart-shaped leaves moved closer and touched his skin. Taro coiled them around his arm, twisting all the way up until a leaf softly brushed Sage's cheek.
"That's amazing," Sage said as if he hadn't seen Taro transform so many times before. He traced his fingers along the vines, watching Taro's lips curve towards a smile.
"It's strange having you admire something I've just always been able to do."
"I don't think I'll ever not find it amazing. It's like my mind refuses to believe it when you're human. And when you're a plant, my mind refuses to believe that you're not just a plant."
Taro chuckled while the vine recoiled and receded up his sleeve. "It still baffles me that you're just a person."
"Boring, I know."
Taro pushed their foreheads together and linked his fingers around Sage's back. "Humans are not boring. You're questionable at times, but definitely not boring."
"Thanks . . . I think." They laughed together. Sage's heart swelled every time he noticed how much happier he was away from home. "Okay, I'm hungry, let's get you some water first."
Taro sat cross-legged on the floor and transformed. Sage shielded his eyes from the green glow and was left looking at a house plant in the middle of his bedroom. He scoffed and shook his head. "That'll never not be strange to witness." He carried Taro to the bathroom and watered him until it dripped from the hole in the bottom of the pot. He stood for a few minutes over the sink, occasionally looking at himself in the mirror.
He even looked healthier by being away from home. His hazel eyes were full of life, his dark skin clear all over his face, not full of anxious breakouts around his chin. His smile came to him so naturally. He didn't have to worry about someone filming a weird expression or someone catching him slouching or looking tired.
He inhaled deeply, reminding himself to stay in the present moment, instead of spending his holiday wishing it would never end.
Taro transformed back and hauled Sage through the room when his stomach grumbled. On their way out, Sage's jumper caught on the door handle and a small loose thread turned into a not so small hole. Sage gasped when it made an awful twang and yanked him back. "Oh no!" he whined. "This was one of my favourites!"
"That was my fault, I was dragging you." Taro unhooked him from the door, glancing left and right before whispering, "Strip Sagerian."
Sage rolled his eyes and pulled the jumper over his head. Taro went one way and sage went the other, knowing they would meet back in the dining room. Sage strolled down the rest of the corridor, admiring each painting with eyes that followed him. He traced a finger along a glass cabinet full of broaches worn by a Queen who had long been forgotten.
Sage had settled into the cottage well. He liked how it only took a short walk to reach the dining room instead of a trek along endless cold corridors full of strangers. As he approached the stairs that curved into the small open entryway, he heard two familiar voices- the guards who he was sure were dating.
Their voices were quiet, but with each step he could hear more clearly. "I struggle to put it aside," one voice said.
"Me too," the other replied. "Such a cruel thing. It makes me not want to work for this family anymore."
Sage paused with an eerie shiver prickling the back of his neck.
"I talked with my parents, they said we defend the Greenthenors no matter what."
"I guess that right now we are defending Prince Sage, who I'm more than happy to stand tall with. But when I watch the Queen go by with her stiff upper lip, I feel so angry."
"I do too, and that scares me. We're here to keep an ancient deal alive, but how can I protect those who hate us?"
Sage heard one of them sigh as if the world crushed her shoulders. "I feel bad for Prince Sage, living among people who mark their own as a traitor just because he was gay."
In one single moment, Sage's universe crumbled around him. Her words had stolen the air from his lungs. His knees wobbled and he grabbed the banister with both hands. He felt sick to his stomach, especially when he looked down at two faces staring up in horror.
"Sage!" One gasped, and the other elbowed her in the ribs. "P-Prince, Your R-Royal Highness, Sir." They glanced anxiously at each other.
Sage's limbs trembled from joint to joint. But he found the strength to reach the ground floor, clutching his chest. "What did you just say?" he asked, and even his voice wobbled.
The guard with short blonde hair and sharp cheekbones softly held the other's arm, whose brown eyes had started to glint sadly in the light. "Please don't tell me you didn't know," she whispered. "Sir."
The guard with mouse brown hair and freckles slowly held her too. "Please don't fire us."
"Were you talking about my uncle Patrick?" Sage asked, hoping the quiver in his bottom lip wasn't as noticeable as it felt.
The women nodded.
"Who told you this?" Sage didn't dare blink, knowing tears would spill if he did.
"I was on guard duty outside your dad's office the day before you came to this cottage. I heard him talking with your mother about Patrick and how he was a traitor. Your mother said that the public mustn't know he was gay because they don't want that associated with her family."
Sage was horrified, and so appalled that he had to rest a hand on the wall to steady himself. "My- my mother said that?" His voice was barely a whisper. His heartbeat chimed loud in his ears.
The guard nodded again. "Your father found that funny, sir."
Sage felt all unbalanced, like his blood pooled in his legs. The ringing in his ears got louder, and louder and louder. Sage's mouth opened, but a lump formed instead of words. The guards looked at each other again and Sage turned abruptly. He shoved snow boots on and grabbed his fur-lined coat that hung by the front door. He didn't even close the door behind him, he just had to walk. The snow was so deep, each step was hard work. He hauled each leg up just to move another foot away from the warmth.
"Sagerian!" a voice called from the cottage.
Sage knew it was Taro, but he just had to keep going. Tears dampened his cheeks, the cold froze his lungs, the night strained his vision, the wind blew furiously through his open coat. But he just had to be on his own to mourn the hope he had so desperately clung to.
He continued to fight his way through the snow, leaving the dull light of the cottage behind him, with only the moon to guide him. He kept going, further and further into the darkness until a slope caught him by surprise and he fell into the snow. Putting hands out to catch his fall did nothing. Sage rolled down the slope, as snow stuck to his clothes. When the ground levelled out, he stopped on his back and stared solemnly at the open sky. And in that moment of heartbreak, he wanted nothing more than to be as free as a star, beautiful and powerful and untainted by the fingerprints of humankind.