"𝙰 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜."
~~~
𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐞'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕
There was a crack in my chest.
It was growing each longing second and filling my heart with a hollowness even I couldn't describe.
The walk across campus midday was unusually quiet between the two of us. Hand in hand Zach and I walked back to my dorm as people pierced holes into our backs and whispered ever so loudly that I was ungrateful, a whore, using Zach to hurt Kelsey and much more that I didn't have the courage to store in the forefront of my mind.
Zach completely lost his cool at the whore comment but Ezra and a few guys from the team nearby made sure to keep him in check.
"Another fight and you're done, Stone."
"Pull it together. Don't let it win."
"She's watching."
Those words rang through my head like pounding headache eating away at my frontal lobe.
Another fight?
I knew Zach had issues with his anger but I never knew how bad until only just a few moments ago. Even my pleads couldn't stop his deadly strides to the student who had made a comment about my sex life.
He had squeezed my hand so tight I don't think he even noticed it hurt me until I pulled away fearfully.
"Sage." He says with a hint of caution.
"Maybe it's best if I walk back on my own."
"I want-"
"No." I lift my hand up to stop him from continuing just like I had done to Kelsey a day ago. "You should rest up anyway. You guys have a big game tomorrow."
"Right." His hands dig deeper into his pockets as he head falls shamefully. So much regret is written all over his expression that it causes me to look away.
My heavy footsteps carry me past him and our shoulders brush up against each other lightly. I feel Zach tense at the second of close proximity that we just shared as I head into the direction of my dorm building.
The walk is dreadful.
Why does it feel like we were on the verge of a break just before we could even start?
I debate turning my head around but at the very last second before I get too far, I do.
The image is daunting and I can't seem to get the picture out of my head. No matter how many times I blink, I see it. I see him.
Zach is still standing there, watching me and only now do I determine the crack in my chest was actually a fracture ripped right through my heart.
___
"Where the hell have you been?" I hear the words before I shrug off the lengthy trench coat off my body, one arm after the other. My hair is a coily mess, thrown into an excuse of a ponytail at the back of my head.
Vic immediately left her right split position in the middle of the living room floor and walked to where I was standing. She was currently in a black leotard with white tights underneath surrounded by a slew of textbooks and chinese takeout.
As she approaches me her eyes immediately go wide and I already know why.
I still smell like him.
His room. His clothes. His bed. Every aspect of him was still glued to me including the bruised marks on my neck and chest that were thankfully covered.
"I was in the city." I shrug, walking over to the couch and picking up an egg roll off Vic's plate. My stomach grumbled in hunger since I haven't eaten in almost sixteen hours.
"That was two days ago." Vic raised her brows.
"No it wasn't." I shoot back. I take a bite into another piece of "Wait, was it?" My words come out muffled because of how full my mouth was.
"Yes it was Sage." She sighs deeply. "I've been calling all day and your dad hasn't heard from you. We were both worried sick."
"Shit, I'm sorry. I think I just lost track of time. I went to Zachs and I fell asleep for a few minutes. Then I woke up and it was morning."
"You fell asleep in his bed?" Vic screeched. She exaggeratedly fanned herself before adding." Wait, wait we'll have this talk at a later time. What happened during the meeting?"
I swallowed the contents in my mouth. "They're suing."
"Are you fucking kidding me. They're suing you after all that shit Kelsey pulled. I ought to give them a piece of my mind. Screw that lawyer guy. He clearly can't do his job right. I'll get you the best one in New York. My parents can pull a few strings and I know a guy-
"Vic-"
"No, I'm tired of them treating you like shit just because they have money and power. You signed that contract when you were fifteen you didn't know any better. I mean who lets a fifteen year old sign a freaking four year deal-"
"Vic." I repeated much firmer so she could pause her rant. "They can sue me for not attending Fashion Week. That was a high profile event I signed papers for."
"But." She paused thinking. "But you were sick. You were in the hospital for three days. They know that right?" Vic's eyes hopefully searched mine.
"They don't." I sigh, shutting my eyes, feeling my head violently throb. "Only Kelsey knows but I guess she didn't tell them to help her case or else it would've been excused."
"That bi-"
"You had practice already?" I ask, trying my hardest to change the subject.
"Yeah, my partner has been out sick for the past few days. I was just going to stop by her apartment for a bit."
"Wow, isn't the showcase this month?" I questioned.
"Hopefully. The date is scheduled for two weeks from now and I'm so ready to get this over with and finally hang up my pointe shoes so I can put all my focus on my art."
"Wait, do you mean the same week as Syracuse's Art Exhibit?"
"Sadly, yes. I'll make it work. I always do." Vic looked as if she was reassuring herself more than me. "Mom and Dad are flying back from their Tokyo trip in a week to make sure I'm prepared and Leo's coming as well."
"Really?" I ask excitedly. "I miss him. He's what... like fifteen now?
Leo was Vic's rebellious younger brother. All three of us used to hang out after school playing video games and baking all types of sugary goods until Lee fell victim to cavities. My favorite activity was doing cannonballs into the Xu's massive indoor pool.
However as Leo got older he started to rebel and it didn't help having distant parents who frequently traveled for work while being raised by nannies. After Vic finally told her parents how serious his behavior had gotten they sent him away to a boarding school for boys. Neither of us expected it but the path he was going down was dangerous and something had to be done. Eventually I lost contact with Leo and although Vic and him grew apart they still made time to catch up and talk.
"He's sixteen now, Sage. The idiot has always had a crush on you. Just wait till he finds out about Zach." Vic teases.
"I tried my best not to remember that part about our relationship. You know I always saw Lee as a little brother even before Niko came around."
"I know. I know. Just be nice. He's changed since everything and I want us all to be friends again."
"Of course. I can't wait to see him."
"Enough to talk about my brother. You at Zachs last night. No wonder you didn't pick up the phone. There are marks all over your neck."
I lift my eyes to hers where a shining glint covers the brown irises in amusement. My hand lightly feathers around my collarbone and inches towards the base of my neck, where two dark marks mistakenly appear from the hem of my shirt.
"Shit."
___
"Do you think he'll show?" Nadira asked beside me.
Her floral print hijab casted a shadow over face allowing half of her features to be shown in the dimly lit room. Ever since the conversation in the bathroom, Nadira and I have bonded at these weekly sessions. In a way she's become a friend I can relate to.
"Doubt it." I sigh. "He thinks he'll hurt me again. I tried telling him he won't but he just shuts me out everytime I bring it up."
Even before the incident yesterday Zach refused to show up at counseling again. Every Friday I would wait and wait for the door to swing open and finally have him by my side again but it never happened. Although I admit having the next couple of sessions without him did help me recover, it didn't seem fair. He was also coming here for a reason and because of me he stopped getting the help he needed.
"Well did you at least tell him why what happened that night triggered you. Maybe it will help him understand better."
"I don't think that's a good idea." I fidget in my seat while also keeping my eyes trained on the door that hadn't opened in the past five minutes.
Nadira doesn't press me on the subject any further which I am eternally grateful for. That was one of the things I loved about our friendship. If either of us weren't ready to talk about something we didn't push. We would tell each other as soon as we're comfortable doing so.
Soon enough everyone had taken their seats. Instead of being arranged in a large circle of seats, the chairs were now grouped in threes. A last minute bonding strategy Maria has come up with since everyone liked to stick with pairs. Unfortunately this forced us to add another member to our group.
Suddenly a jolted force opens the door causing all heads to turn including mine. Zach walks through, eyes fixated on me and only me. For a moment he looked relieved that he had found me here after I had made an attempt to ignore his calls all afternoon.
His usual dark zip up hoodie and cargos are replaced by his team jersey uniform. His hair is drenched in sweat and he looks out of breath, winded almost. Yet he still manages to take my breath away.
"You are so goddamn lucky." Nadira whispers next to me.
I roll my eyes at her as Zach walks up to Maria in determined strides. The two are enthralled in a heated conversation I can only imagine I'm the topic about. Going back and forth in hushed whispers until Maria finally breaks.
"I apologize for the late start." Maria's voice stops all side conversations. She takes the center of the room and I swallow the invisible lump in my throat as a precaution to her next words. "As you guys have noticed, Zach is back with the group and he is here to stay on one condition."
Zachs once calm and collected expression falls. He was put on the spot and he knows it. A few seconds pass as he rises from his seat.
"I want to sincerely apologize for my behavior at the last meeting. I shouldn't have thrown any objects. It was out of character and unfair to you all." He pauses for a moment. Our eyes locking into an unblinking gaze I don't want to break. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
And I can only imagine the double meaning to that sentence.
End of Chapter
This entire chapter was a bit rushed but I wanted to have an update for you guys this weekend.
As you guys know I'm a senior in high school and the let's just say people lied when they said senior year was the easiest.