*Original POV*
You're not suicidal.
Things progressively began to worsen for Eldians in Paradis a few weeks after the Grand Ball. Everything seemed to have been going too well and you let yourself get carried away.
"War has been brewing the minute you were all born. We will soon begin to train on our ODM Gears again," Captain Levi announced
"We'll be heading back to the forest in three days to pick up on training again. Same routine of five years ago," you sensed grief in Captain Levi's voice.
✧༺❃༻✧
Mikasa helped you put on the straps of the ODM Gear. Armin and you wanted to show Yelena and Onyankopon the ODM Gear up close.
They've taught you both so much for nearly a whole year so you wanted to teach them something that you all became too familiar with.
"How are you feeling?" Mikasa asked as she tightened the strap.
"Fine, nothing new," you looked in the mirror to your left and saw the young cadet from years ago. The same one that's been making random appearances lately.
I tried so hard to keep you hidden
"Look at me," Mikasa turned you around before putting her hand on your shoulders, "We've all grown so much, let's keep growing together."
✧༺❃༻✧
You were lost in your own thoughts as Armin finally caught up to you, "Hey Y/n, you feeling alright?"
You lazily turned your head before nodding. He didn't seem convinced, "Tell me, what are things in your life that make you happy?"
"Why?", you weren't up to wasting your time on pointless shit.
"Just answer me."
"Don't know."
He sighed, "I'll list them for you then. Yelena, books, knowledge, cooking, baking, piano music, the constellations, and Yelena... again."
You didn't say anything, or more like you couldn't. You smiled a bit as you reached the edge of the forest. The same forest that Yelena and you walked hand in hand as she taught you about the birds a few weeks back.
Yelena and Onyankopon were a few feet behind so Armin and you both turned around to face them. Your mind was getting too loud for your own thought that you only managed to notice the shadows of the trees.
I tried so hard to keep you hidden.
*Yelena's POV*
"So I thought that it would be a great idea to show you how ODM Gear's functions," Armin paused to look at Y/n.
"After that, we can let you borrow our gear and you guys can try to maneuver it around the trees. If you'd like of course."
I walked over to Y/n as Armin and Onyankopon walked off to a nearby tree. "These are the hooks, careful they're pretty sharp..."
"Hey, my love. Are you feeling alright?" I tried pulling her into a hug but she defensively stepped back.
"Yes, I'm fine," she shrugged me off. "I have to get going."
✧༺❃༻✧
Onyankopon and I stood on the stable ground as Y/n and Armin flew past us from high above. It was as if they were born for the sole purpose of this war.
Sadly
Everything was going smoothly for the first few minutes until I heard Armin scream out Y/n's name. His voice screeched, causing the birds above us to take flight.
I ran towards his voice in search of her. She wasn't anywhere to be seen until I heard Armin from up above. He was holding Y/n in his arms as if trying to keep her from any harm.
In a quick swoop, he brought her down to the stable ground in front of me. She wasn't passed out... but something was off.
"Y/n listen to me", Armin shook her lightly. "What happened, Armin?" I took her into my arms and rubbed her arm in a comforting manner.
"I don't know, she was flying just fine but she picked up speed and wasn't paying attention to where she was going. She nearly flew into that big broken branch," Armin pointed at the branch.
I could've lost you.
"I'm fine. And I was paying attention," she got up and walked off before hooking herself onto a nearby tree. Disappearing from our sight.
I rubbed my temples before getting up, "You know something, don't you."
"Yelena cal-", Onyankopon started
"Don't tell me to calm down."
Armin looked back at me before turning away to face the ground. "I'm not sure anymore. It's best if you ask her."
✧༺❃༻✧
My knuckles were barely grazing the wood of Y/n's door before it abruptly opened. She stood there with a dead look in her eyes, her hair was disheveled. "Oh, hi there."
Strange
"Are you feeling better?" I needed to get to the bottom of this.
She invited me in as she sat down on her bed, "Don't just stand there, come in."
I walked in and noticed there were a bunch of sketches and books lying around her desk and floor. Her window was open, causing the sketches on her wall to dance along with the rhythm of the wind.
"Don't ignore my question," I kneeled down and held her hand in mine. She gave it a light squeeze before letting go, she walked over to her desk.
She took a deep breath before shoving all the sketches into her notebook. "I'm fine, Yelena."
"I wasn't born yesterday," her short answers were beginning to piss me off.
Y/n held her head low before walking to her closet, she reached for a jewelry box with [your last name] engraved on it.
She walked back with a small necklace, she took my hand and carefully placed it before sitting next to me on the floor. "This was my mother's."
I took a closer look and saw it was an emerald stone with gold sparks. It looked like a galaxy was being protected within the stone.
Y/n laid her head on my shoulder, I wrapped my arm around her. I haven't felt her touch in a long time. "You can talk to me."
"Have you ever experienced the feeling of being at death's doorstep, Yelena?" she looked up at me through her eyelashes.
"Yes and no, why?"
"I have, many times since the age of ten. I'm still not used to it but it's such a nice feeling."
I took a deep breath and nodded so she could continue. My number one priority was to comfort her. She continued, "Your worries go away at the blink of an eye. It's like your body floats in a river for an eternity."
This war was slowly getting to her and I wasn't trying hard enough, "Are you scared?"
"Of death? No, it's a natural part of life," I didn't like the way she was speaking.
"Don't get me wrong, it's terrible dying at such a young age but there's a time where you just don't feel like fighting," she chuckled
Y/n continued her talk about death for a few more minutes before she fell asleep. I couldn't say anything and it seemed like she just needed to vent.
She was sleeping peacefully and I didn't want to wake her up so I sat still. Unsure of what to do or say. I began to think that maybe she did want me to speak. The familiar smell of lavender entered my nostrils.
Fucking great, Yelena.
I looked down at her and noticed tear stains on her cheeks. She was crying all along and I didn't notice...
This was the very first time I saw her like this. I picked her up to carefully place her on her bed. Tucked her in and gave her a kiss on her forehead.
After organizing everything and neatly storing her sketches, I sat down on the floor and gently caressed her cheek and hair. "Don't push me away."
♛ ♛ ♛
Author's Note:
Something short to prepare for the rest :) Don't forget to vote.