Chapter 6: Shenanigans Part IV
"Thank you for your patronage!" Teuchi and Ayame said as we left.
All four of us had smiles on our faces, and yes even Tayuya had a little bit of pip in her step. It didn't take us long to get to the Hokage residence, even with the constant stopping we had to do. We entered the mansion with bags filled with groceries, ninja tools, and many other things from various shop owners. Normally we came in and would go upstairs to the Hokage office, but it turns out there was a living quarter big enough for a family of ten plus. I wasn't sure why but then again, there weren't laws against harems, so I guessed it was if the Hokage had a large family.
"There should be three rooms down the hall to the left with your names on it. Do not worry about your belongings. I had that already taken care of while we were out."
"You robbed our homes?" I said, wondering if Sasuke freaked out to see my stuff taken.
"I wouldn't call it that."
I waited for a but that never came with his statement. He just walked to what I guess was his room door. He opened it and was immediately kicked in the stomach by some random kid who looked about the age of eight. The kid had spiky black hair and a blue scarf around his neck... and was that Naruto's goggles?
"What took you so long, old man! I already ate dinner without you."
"Ahahaha." Hiruzen-sensei placed his hand on the boy. "I'm sorry for making you eat without me Konohamaru. I was out with my students."
"Your students... What the–You lied to me, old man! You were supposed to be teaching me!"
"Didn't I say I would after you graduated from the academy."
"Yeah, but what if I graduate and they're still your students." Konohamaru looked down, almost like he was going to cry. It made me feel a bit bad for him.
After placing down the bags, I walked up to them, giving Konohamaru my Iruka smile. "You don't have to worry about that. We'll be out of your grandpa's hands in no time." I assumed he was the grandson Hiruzen-sensei talked about earlier. Which meant I should try to get to know him—
"Heat Butt Attack!"
I moved my head to the side and watched as he crashed against the ceiling, falling back onto the ground. A red lump formed on his head. "You should probably wear a helmet if you're going to do that."
"I... Sniff... I do wear a helmet! Sniff... It's just late, and I'm in my pajamas."
"You wear goggles to bed?" I said, getting a closer look at them. Yup, those are definitely Naruto's.
"Ah, I see you're checking out my cool gear. My big brother Naruto gave them to me." He said, smiling with a "hehe" coming from his mouth. That's another 180 for the day. He seemed unfazed by the earlier pain he was in. Weird kid.
"Big brother Naruto?" I stared at the Third Hokage. He had some explaining to do.
"Naruto is not my son. The boy just called him that ever since Naruto beat me."
"Y-you're not serious, right? How did you lose to Naruto?"
"Hehehe, by using this super-secret ultra-powerful technique." Konohamaru placed his hands together. (A/N Play GO GO Naruto for maximum enjoyment. You're welcome. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ).
"No, don't!" The Third Hokage panicked, stepping forward.
"Too late. Sexy Jutsu!"
Where there should have been a brat, there was instead a... I swallowed hard. A young twenty-year-old woman appeared. She was easily an 8/10 medium is premium, brown-haired bombshell of a woman, naked with only the dissipating smoke clouds to cover her. I heard a thud on the ground behind me.
"Hiruzen-sensei!" I called out. He was knocked out cold with blood gushing from his nose. Rest in peace, old man. Your student will avenge you. I stood up after closing Hiruzen-sensei's eyes, turning to face the strongest foe I'd ever met.
"I accept you as a worthy opponent Konohamaru-chan, and I Yuki Uchiha! Will defeat you!"
"What! I-Impossible! How are you still standing!" Konohamaru-chan's breast jiggled as she backed up in horror.
"Oh, believe me. You almost did me in." My legs were weak and wobbly. I wiped the blood off my nose. "But! If I lost here, then I'd never be able to move forward!"
Konohamaru-chan was shocked, stunned even, as I leapt forward. Her chocolate eyes widened in horror as she screamed. I spread out my arms, awaiting the pillow-like softness of actual womanly breasts. Come to daddy—
"That's a minor!" Sui appeared in front of me and knocked me into the ceiling, where I was stuck hanging.
"Arghhhh!" Somehow, I was still conscious, but I wished I wasn't. "I-I need a medic..." I groaned then Hana Inuzuka flashed in my mind with her syringe. I flailed my arms and legs around until I fell onto the ground. I may have seen stars circling above, but I could have sworn Tayuya just walked past me shaking her head.
"Uchiha trash."
Yup, that was definitely Tayuya. At least she called me Uchiha now. It's a start. I bounced on the ground as a door slammed. Well, there goes Tayuya.
I slowly stood up to my feet, shaking the stars out of my vision, when I realized that someone was screaming or rather crying. I was out of it still, and my selective hearing wasn't doing me any favors, but I wasn't going crazy. Konohamaru was indeed being wrung out by Sui. No longer in his sexy big sis transformation, his kid face was swollen with purple bruises.
"Pwease Shtop. IIIII wwon't ddddoit again." His gibberish was barely understandable, but lucky for him, I've had Sui beating up on me all my life so I could speak asskickedaneese. So what he really said was, "Please stop. I won't do it again."
"Good! Now go to bed!" Sui was a demon, and my legs were shaking.
I crept over towards my room door. Carefully avoiding Hiruzen-sensei's still unconscious body. I went for the door that said 'Yuki Uchiha' on it, and with a loud click! It opened. I'm so fucked.
Five Seconds Later...
"Pwease Shtop. IIIII wwon't ddddoit again." My face was all swollen, and my chakra points were in shambles.
She dropped me on the floor and went to find her room muttering to herself. "Every. Fucking. Time." She found it and slammed the door shut.
I looked at the damage in the hallway. The holes in the ceiling, the fractured walls, and the torrent of blood on the floor. Hiruzen-sensei was still in the middle of the floor, groaning. Why hasn't anyone come to do anything? I knew we were loud enough, so I expected ANBU to come rushing in, but I guess not. I decided it wasn't my problem as I crawled into my room.
A/N: Heyo! (￣▽￣)/ T.K.月狐 here. Once again, this will be short.
Another new set of character art has been made by an amazing artist whose handle is @ 64027_43. I apologize my dear wallet, (ﾒ﹏ﾒ), but sacrifices must be made.
The YukixSui valentine's day drawing ('♡‿♡') has been posted onto my Twitter and Tumblr, both @Aldogg9951 handle or link in my bio. You should definitely follow since I have another piece of artwork being made as you're reading this post. Unless you're from the future, then it's probably done. Lucky you.
I, however, am done with this note, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I apologize for the tomfoolery though I loved writing it ha-ha.
ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3